quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep
@ RapierFugue -- while i agree with you mostly, the word "whining" is bugging me. =p sometimes people label something "whining" when it isn't, because that is ALSO a derogatory term for an opinion they simply don't like, especially if it's an opinion about something they're doing or actively promoting.  it's the attitude you see with the people who screech at someone for trying to get a mob to stop ganging up on someone -- calling them a "savior" or a "white knight" in a disparaging way because they're actively disagreeing with mob behavior.
whining isn't a neutral word in our language anymore, and most things labeled "whines," really AREN'T whines the way people mean it today. =p there isn't anything wrong with pointing out something you don't like, raising attention to it, and attempting to change it.

quote:

As far as cliques..........bahhhhhhh. I've no patience or desire to figure that shit out. I am just going to be me......if some have a vision of that being cliqueish.....so be it. If some take offense.......so be it. I am so over trying to make everyone happy, comfortable, or feel welcome. I am not running a hospitality suite. I am not being paid to teach anyone anything or train anyone in anything. The reality is that...........I am here for ME. I am not here to do any 'community' a service. Much like in my physical life, I give exactly what I want, without any expectation of reciprocation and not because someone expects something of me. But just because it's what I want to do.

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel
I also think too many people are way to sensitive on this site nowadays, they are here more for validation of their opinions and who they are by anonymous nicknames and their friends  than they are for discussion and debates of topics.  When i first got here many years ago, it was a discussion and debate board, not a social board where friends decide to validate one another. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc

Again I can't disagree with you on the whole.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue
Again, as with people shouting at you in the street, you can shout back, or simply ignore them. The choice is yours, and theirs.

The only thing with this analagy though is that on the street... the moment can pass pretty quickly once you have ignored or walked away.
On a forum like this, even if you 'walk' from the thread, it sticks with you and remains - like a photograph.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue
Then that individual is too sensitive to survive anywhere for long, and will always end up wailing into their cocoa.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but that's how life is.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc

quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue
Then that individual is too sensitive to survive anywhere for long, and will always end up wailing into their cocoa.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but that's how life is.

Harsh?  Meh.  You are a sadist aintya?
But seriously, I don't know about being too sensitive.  I think of it more as that first hurdle.  Everyone has to get over it at some point and I completely believe that everyone should be given the chance.  I'm a cynic sure, but an optimistic one!  I get that it is survival of the fittest, and in a zombie attack, I'm gonna make sure that all the people I am hanging with run slower than me, but that's not gonna stop me from giving someone a footup to a ledge.

quote:

Option Two:
1. Newbie posts something inflammatory, incorrect or just downright fuckwitted.
2. People say "you're talking out of your ass/arse, Newbie, and here's why! <example>".
3. Newbie either takes it on board, says to themselves "yeah, maybe I don't know it all", and learns, then continues to post.
4. OR: Newbie pitches a pink one, and it's flounces all round, then they often fuck off.

In the case of (4), above, am I really expected to give a fuck? Coz I'm not sure I'm able to, sorry.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jaybeee

The most surprising aspect of CM for me (both at the outset and still to this day) was/is the amount of prudery from people claiming to be fetishists. Several wildly divergent episodes come to mind, but the most striking of all is also the most common theme, ie turning up to a BDSM site and spouting unslavelike commentary about how you'd never "cause a child to ask her mommy, "What that lady is doing kneeling by that man?" regardless of what said man has ordered, is pretty much the pinnacle of self-delusion.

Everyone indulges in self-delusion; "you, me, them, everybody" ... it's a natural and human part of our psychological defence mechanisms.

If you think you don't then you're indulging in the worst self-delusion of them all ;)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep
@ RF -- but your determination of any of the walking, swimming, quacking, etc is totally subjective to you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jaybeee
Call me an elitist bastard

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

quote:

Option Two:
1. Newbie posts something inflammatory, incorrect or just downright fuckwitted.
2. People say "you're talking out of your ass/arse, Newbie, and here's why! <example>".
3. Newbie either takes it on board, says to themselves "yeah, maybe I don't know it all", and learns, then continues to post.
4. OR: Newbie pitches a pink one, and it's flounces all round, then they often fuck off.

In the case of (4), above, am I really expected to give a fuck? Coz I'm not sure I'm able to, sorry.

Option 2 isnt limited to newbies.

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

quote:

As far as cliques..........bahhhhhhh. I've no patience or desire to figure that shit out. I am just going to be me......if some have a vision of that being cliqueish.....so be it. If some take offense.......so be it. I am so over trying to make everyone happy, comfortable, or feel welcome. I am not running a hospitality suite. I am not being paid to teach anyone anything or train anyone in anything. The reality is that...........I am here for ME. I am not here to do any 'community' a service. Much like in my physical life, I give exactly what I want, without any expectation of reciprocation and not because someone expects something of me. But just because it's what I want to do.

Exactly LT.

Just wanted to add that the clique attack is tossed around willy nilly without much basis in truth. Not saying we havent seen it. Im saying that its not as prevalent as some may wish to believe. Its become a catch all for those who would rather believe its someone else's fault.. and not their own.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

^^^^^^ 100% agreement barelynangel

quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue
It "remains" for as long as you continue to give a fuck about it.

The solution to that issue would seem to be self-evident.

quote:

Ok... chill with me here tazzy, coz I adore you (mainly because of your Politics and Religion threads)... but I'm gonna use you as an example of my subjectivness....

I know you think it, and (remember this is subjective) you are one of the veryfew (from my viewpoint) people on this board who I would define as being uncliquable(is that even a word?). And I totally get that people think of the word clique as a bad and yucky word... but the reality is that a clique is nothing more than friends or admirers. So thing is - I'm a clique... an undesired tazzygirlclique. Only I don't feel the need to post it in my profile or sig and the only reason I say it on here now is because without it, my example would be usless.

Does that mean we agree all the time? Hell no.

But then I am oozie and I know that. I like being positive (on the whole) and big people up even when they don't care (blinks ****Mr RF)... that's just who I am.

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

RapierFuge, I agree it is, however, we are speaking about CM specifically and if its good for newcomers.  As i said, it doesn't have to be this way -- its just the majority of people are being this way.  We used to have people here who saw discussion and yes debate as beneficial instead of simply seeking validation for their opinions.  Debate and discussion do seem like a lost art all over. 

Now, i don't know when you came to the boards, but i remember the times even in the BDSM forums, i am new to them as most of my time used to be spent in the Gorean forum, when heated debates would happen in a thread and no matter how heated it got it wasn't trainwrecks you saw but it was like a tennis match and it was exciting to see what new information, ideas, concepts and such each side generated to make their point against the other.  It was the topic they debated, not people.
angel

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

quote:

Option Two:
1. Newbie posts something inflammatory, incorrect or just downright fuckwitted.
2. People say "you're talking out of your ass/arse, Newbie, and here's why! <example>".
3. Newbie either takes it on board, says to themselves "yeah, maybe I don't know it all", and learns, then continues to post.
4. OR: Newbie pitches a pink one, and it's flounces all round, then they often fuck off.

In the case of (4), above, am I really expected to give a fuck? Coz I'm not sure I'm able to, sorry.

Option 2 isnt limited to newbies.

quote:

True, although, if I were pedantic*, I'd point out they wouldn't be referred to as "newbie" if they weren't ;)

* I've been called pedantic many times. Well, 27.5 times, to be precise.