|
InvisibleBlack -> RE: Is CM really good for newcomers? (1/4/2011 10:57:30 PM)
|
-FR-
The other night, a couple of my friends who are -shall we say - "scenesters" invited me to come out with them. It wasn't to a BDSM club (I'm not really into the fetish club scene) they and a batch of their friends and the like were simply having a night out at a dance club. Sort of the D/s crew at a nightclub, if you follow. It seemed like a fun idea, so I went. As it turns out, it was a fun idea and I had a good time.
The night was getting late and I had to work the next day and so I was at the bar getting myself a final drink (I take my whiskey straight, btw) and this Asian girl I'd noticed now and then over the course of the night walked up next to me and struck a pose, one leg extended, the other high heel back against the bar, threw her long straight hair back and turned to look at me. She was gorgeous.
Fair enough. I took her out on the dance floor. It was late, the club wasn't empty but no one else was dancing at that moment. I didn't care and neither did she. She moved well. We worked well together. Things got ... intense. After a few songs, I took her back to the bar, picked up my drink and bought her one. We sat down and talked.
She knew I was a Dom. She was curious about being sub. She'd been flitting around all night talking to people and just kind of hanging around, trying to get a feel for things. She looked at me and said "I liked dancing with you. I liked the way you move. I liked the feel of your hands on me. I'd like to do it again." I knew what she was saying. We talked for what was I thought was likely an hour. My time sense was off. The owner came by and told us last call was done and he was shutting down. I looked up and the place was empty. Everyone else had gone home. They were turning the lights off. Neither of us had noticed.
So we're getting up to get our stuff and she says "Guess how old I am." I took a wild guess. I was way off. She told me she was eighteen. I told the owner I needed five more minutes and since he knows me, kind of, he nodded. I sat her back down. I told her I was over twice her age. I told her to take some time and seriously think about what she was looking for and what she wanted out of not only a D/s interaction but a relationship in general. We agreed to meet back at the same place in a week and talk some more. That should be later this week.
Later that week, I asked my friends about her and, while they know her kind of peripherally, they don't know much about her at all.
So it goes.
What's the point of this story?
That was real. That was interaction where words and intentions mattered. Depending on what I said and what I did, and what she said and what she did, significant consequences could have resulted - either positive or negative.
This is an anonymous forum on the internet. Things only have the value that you give them. You can block or ignore people. You can choose not to read their posts. They cannot prevent you from posting here nor from reading whatever you want to. Their words can only hurt you if you give them any credence.
I come here because there are some highly intelligent, brilliantly insightful and extremely witty people here and I enjoy reading their commentary and exchanging ideas with them. There are also some complete idiots and some total assholes. There are some drama whores and some attention divas. There are a handful of people I consider likely to be suffering from one or more mental disorders. This is not particularly different than any other online forum. I've been on ones (especially back in the day on usenet) which were much, much worse.
I read pretty much everything in any thread that catches my eye. After a while, there are a tiny minority of people whose posts I no longer read. I may skim through them. Nothing anyone ever says here offends or hurts me. There are a few people who if they told me I was way out of line or way off base, it would give me pause and make me reflect but that's because over time I've come to respect their opinion.
If someone unloads a pile of undeserved vitriol and it splashes your way, just ignore it. At the end of the day you can turn the computer off and that's that. If some nutjob pervs your profile and mails you some poorly written mostly misspelled bunch of insults - just delete them. A few months ago, I got some death threats in my mailbox on CM. I didn't start carrying a pistol under my jacket - I just laughed and deleted them.
If you let the idiots affect you, you are empowering them. Pay attention to the fine people on this site who have a vast reservoir of experience and knowledge to share. Don't even waste your time with the the little idiots who need to insult and degrade someone on an internet forum in order to validate their self-worth.
If you find someone, and it's real, and you dance - even if it's just for one night - that's a far more valid and powerful experience than a hundred angry ranting posts picking on your grammar or some topic you put up or your thoughts on something. If you find a couple of people on CM whom you like and admire, and you become friends, and you learn something from them or something they say helps you change or grow in some way, then that's worth dozens of stupid pointless inane rants.
The internet is full of stupid pointless inane rants. It's probably only going to get worse. The only place you can escape them is where no one is posting and things are dead. Mine the gold and throw away the dross. Those angry ranting people are still going to be online and angry and ranting ten years from now because that's all they've got. The only way they can ruin things for you is if you let them. If a six year old calls you a poopy-head, do you get angry and hurt and offended or do you just laugh it off because they're six years old? Why is an insult from some anyonymous pseudonym on the Internet more valid? Because you assign characteristics to that unknown cipher and in your head you assume there's someone worthwhile and intelligent on the other end. Don't.
I've gone on long enough. My apologies for that.
P.S. It's clique and not clic.
P.P.S. Just kidding.
P.P.P.S. Not kidding about the word, it is clique. I'm just letting you know I'm kidding you about it.
P.P.P.P.S. Sometimes, you just have to have fun with things. If they poke at you, poke back. If you're afraid to touch them, use an umbrella or a stick or something.
|
|
|
|
