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LDVixen -> RE: Punishments for subby. (1/16/2011 8:11:01 PM)
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I think the worst "punishment" a Dom ever gave me was to be made to write an essay stating why what I had done was so bad, why it had disgraced me as well as him by my public act, and why he should forgive me for my transgression and not simply release me. I was made to write, memorize, then recite this to him.
By the time I got to the end of reciting it, I was sobbing my heart out. Heck, before I ever got to the point of finishing writing it, I was sobbing my heart out. It wasn't a power play on his part, it was a learning experience for me. I broke a major rule, knowing as I was doing it that it was not okay, but I was in a pissed off mood and allowed my raw emotions to take over. I knew as soon as I was done that I was way out of line, but even then, I did not stop what I was doing.
If he had beaten me bloody, stood me in a corner, or done anything else, I would probably have rebelled further. By simply telling me what he expected me to do, dropping me off at home, and leaving me alone for a week, I had time to calm down and reflect on my transgressions.
Writing it down, defining why I had done it, expressing why it was wrong, and why he should give me another chance was so much more than just a "mind-fuck". It was what I can only describe as having my very soul flogged, except I was the one who flogged myself. He never lifted a finger. It was then that I realized that disappointing yourself with bad behavior is far worse than disappointing another being. You have to have respect for yourself before you can respect another or be respected in return.
I tend to be a playful sub, but I never, ever again misbehave with malice in mind.
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