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RE: Would you recommend slavery/submission to a loved one? - 1/10/2011 2:26:52 PM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
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As one who was on the receiving end of such advice...

I confided in someone (in vino veritas, naturally) about my dismal string of failed relationships and my decision to remain celibate for the rest of my life.

After a great deal of Q&A between us, he revealed that he was dominant, and suggested that I might be fulfilled in a D/s relationship of some kind. He pointed me in the right direction of a bdsm website, where I started to do some reading.

I was shockingly naive, and had no idea about power exchange relationships. That was 10 years ago, and after a lot of exploring and meeting new people, I have now recently begun a D/s relationship that feels soooo right.

So would I recommend a sub/slave life to someone? Probably not. But I would do my best to talk, listen and point them in the direction of useful information. It worked for me - maybe it would work for someone else

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RE: Would you recommend slavery/submission to a loved one? - 1/11/2011 1:32:22 AM

TheRaptorJesus

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~FR~

I would advise anyone I cared about who was interested in being submissive, specifically if they had a vagina, to avoid it and any of these sites completely... and to just fap while fantasizing.

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What if your God... were a motherfucking DINOSAUR?!

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RE: Would you recommend slavery/submission to a loved one? - 1/11/2011 9:30:09 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
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Highly unlikely. While I'm perfectly happy discussing how it pertains to my life, that's a far cry from some kind of recommendation. Just because it suits me, doesn't mean I'm likely to *recommend* it anymore than I'd recommend anything else when it comes to things like this.

I'm not an advocate for M/s and live with it purely because of the chap I'm with, so that not any grounds for recommending it.

agirl

(in reply to slaveinbox)

Post #: 23

RE: Would you recommend slavery/submission to a loved one? - 1/11/2011 9:48:49 AM

LillyBoPeep

Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
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if a friend told me that s/he was having thoughts of a particular kind and was feeling alone, then i'd talk with him/her. but i don't live my life in such a way that everyone who knows me knows what i'm into. a friend of mine asked me for my opinion on sex with bondage before, and so i outed myself and told her that i liked it, but she was a friend i'd known for a long time. i wouldn't go proselytizing about the wonders of D/s and how it can transform your life. =p but if a friend was curious, looking for info, wanted to talk, then i'd talk back.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 24

RE: Would you recommend slavery/submission to a loved one? - 1/11/2011 4:47:50 PM

peacefulplace

Posts: 157
Joined: 8/22/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheRaptorJesus

~FR~

I would advise anyone I cared about who was interested in being submissive, specifically if they had a vagina, to avoid it and any of these sites completely... and to just fap while fantasizing.

Hilarious. But Raptor Jesus, because your brain is the size of a walnut and reptilian in nature, why should we believe You?

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~~Barbara Jordan

(in reply to TheRaptorJesus)

Post #: 25

RE: Would you recommend slavery/submission to a loved one? - 1/11/2011 9:00:01 PM

TheRaptorJesus

Posts: 640
Joined: 6/3/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: peacefulplace

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheRaptorJesus

~FR~

I would advise anyone I cared about who was interested in being submissive, specifically if they had a vagina, to avoid it and any of these sites completely... and to just fap while fantasizing.

Hilarious. But Raptor Jesus, because your brain is the size of a walnut and reptilian in nature, why should we believe You?

Because I'm omniscient and my holiness keeps me from lying.

And toots, it's not the size of the boat... it's the motion of the cerebral ocean.

_____________________________

What if your God... were a motherfucking DINOSAUR?!

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Post #: 26

RE: Would you recommend slavery/submission to a loved one? - 1/11/2011 9:59:32 PM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
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if the person had talked about being a submissive or things of that nature like some of the above i would put them on the path of learning but to just recommend it because it works for me well no. my wife is not in to D/s we have talked about it she has been to a munch and seen a play party and is ok with me doing it with my Mistress. now i have met several folks that just seem to be either Dom or sub material i don't just go tell them hey go try this. if they ask i will tell them but not just cause i enjoy being a slave.

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LadyPact

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Post #: 27

RE: Would you recommend slavery/submission to a loved one? - 1/12/2011 12:16:06 AM

Awareness

Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
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No.

Asking for a recommendation is fundamentally an avoidance of responsibility. That telegraphs sub tendencies, but ultimate responsibility for trying out their kink must rest with the sub. And frankly, I don't see what the big deal is. This isn't like jumping into a cold ocean - and likewise, a sub doesn't need to jump into something with a sadistic dominant who likes to beat his subs. She can start with being dominated during sex and work up from there.

People aren't always looking for the extreme.

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RE: Would you recommend slavery/submission to a loved one? - 1/12/2011 12:26:47 AM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
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depends on the loved one, and if I knew they gravitated to this kinda thing. Or had basic interest. I'd advise them to choose VERY carefully who to hand their reigns to though.

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveinbox

Hello all. Just on the cusp of submitting for the first time. Before i do, i'm just wondering, would the slaves/subs on this site recommend this life to a loved one? Kind of probing, kind of nervous, i know, but i'm curious. Thanx, sib.

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Post #: 29

RE: Would you recommend slavery/submission to a loved one? - 1/12/2011 7:06:00 PM

crystalclarinet

Posts: 31
Joined: 10/29/2009
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I can honestly say that it really has never come up. My friends are aware of my lifestyle choices but they could never begin to understand it. They think the total emotional connection that we share is silly and they just don't get it. I've never been in love until I found my Dom at least not like this is. I guess if people are not in the "zone" so to speak it would be really hard for them to understand it, at least it is for my friends!

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

Post #: 30

RE: Would you recommend slavery/submission to a loved one? - 1/13/2011 8:32:02 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
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I would counsel someone to chose a more balanced relationship / lifestyle than "slavery."

(in reply to slaveinbox)

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RE: Would you recommend slavery/submission to a loved one? - 1/16/2011 9:38:51 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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Would I recommend "submission" to someone? No.

What I would do is recommend that someone look carefully at who and what they ACTUALLY are... not what society tells them they ought to be. I would encourage people to seek inside themselves for what sort of relationship might ACTUALLY make them happy. Then I would encourage them to seek that type of relationship, no matter what label they choose to apply to it.

I would not, under any circumstances, encourage people to start applying BDSM labels to themselves or their relationships.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to slaveinbox)

Post #: 32

RE: Would you recommend slavery/submission to a loved one? - 1/16/2011 10:35:20 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

What I would do is recommend that someone look carefully at who and what they ACTUALLY are... not what society tells them they ought to be. I would encourage people to seek inside themselves for what sort of relationship might ACTUALLY make them happy. Then I would encourage them to seek that type of relationship, no matter what label they choose to apply to it.

nicely stated

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RE: Would you recommend slavery/submission to a loved one? - 1/17/2011 7:20:56 PM

trueshadow

Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline

Exactly. This is a strange post. Personally, I love being a slave, and I'd recommend it to other subs/slaves. But I don't going around asking folks if they fantasize about kissing someone's boots.

quote:

ORIGINAL: txurinal

one does not choose to be a slave. That is a part of the make up of a person's being. As to would i recommend someone who wants to live as a slave. ABSOLUTELY. Never was i more contented with my life than when i was owned. Being the slave to someone who wants you is the greatest experience one can have in their life. Being a slave is very hard but the rewards are many

(in reply to txurinal)

Post #: 34

RE: Would you recommend slavery/submission to a loved one? - 1/22/2011 4:04:05 PM

slaveinbox

Posts: 8
Joined: 11/29/2010
Status: offline

i have to say, i didn't expect an overwhelming response in favour of recommending submission/slavery to someone you cared about, but the response has been more negative than i thought it would be. Kinda makes me think. It's true, this is a, well, quirky life choice, and people were in favour of it for themselves, but ... well, it makes me think all the same.

i would like to thank everyone who posted a reply. And to the poster who said they would never recommend this life to anyone with a vagina, agreed! ;) Still, gonna think about this, and see where those thoughts bring me. Thanks again for replying, much appreciated.

(in reply to slaveinbox)

Post #: 35

RE: Would you recommend slavery/submission to a loved one? - 1/22/2011 4:41:28 PM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
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if I were to love someone I'd recommend they be my slave

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Post #: 36

RE: Would you recommend slavery/submission to a loved one? - 1/26/2011 11:23:26 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveinbox
...but the response has been more negative than i thought it would be...

Just to be clear, my response was not negative regarding BDSM labels. It was negative regarding labels and little boxes in general. I wouldn't even recommend to someone hardcore into BDSM that they start defining themselves by BDSM labels. Therein lies the path to the true debates, the sub/slave debates, and all the other nonsense.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to slaveinbox)

Post #: 37

RE: Would you recommend slavery/submission to a loved one? - 1/27/2011 3:17:02 PM

Genobee

Posts: 28
Joined: 11/7/2010
Status: offline

In my opinion it's either a hit or miss...
In more detail I mean you would have to find the idea of submitting pleasurable and your mate would have to find pleasure in dominating over you.

If you mean in lighter terms, as just a past time for experimentation.
Then why not? You/your mate may find that submission/dominance is a rather mighty force in the realm of view-point and stimulation.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 38

RE: Would you recommend slavery/submission to a loved one? - 1/28/2011 4:02:04 PM

Chulain

Posts: 283
Joined: 1/27/2011
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Kind of a strange question, OP. Kind of like asking "Would you recommend homosexuality to a love one?" I would if they were gay, and I'd recommend submissiveness or slavery to a loved one who was submissive or felt "slave-like."

Otherwise, no, I would not.

(in reply to slaveinbox)

Post #: 39

RE: Would you recommend slavery/submission to a loved one? - 1/28/2011 4:06:21 PM

wittynamehere

Posts: 759
Joined: 2/5/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveinbox
Just on the cusp of submitting for the first time.

Oh come on, you've been submitting to the government since you got your first paper route, and perhaps longer.

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveinbox
recommend this life to a loved one?

I don't understand the question. That's like going to a forum about bisexuality and asking "would you recommend this life to a loved one?" This isn't a game or a hobby. Well, let me rephrase. This isn't a game or a hobby, to me.

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Post #: 40

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