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RE: Does it matter if you stretch the truth? - 1/9/2011 11:34:23 PM

phoenixmoonn13

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if you lie about this how wil she trust you an anything else and trust is the basis of a relationship.

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RE: Does it matter if you stretch the truth? - 1/10/2011 12:22:34 AM

Zevar

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quote:

SAMHAIN09

You asked: Does it matter if you stretch the truth?

If you build a house on sand it is doomed to sink. Honesty is the best policy, aye.

Take care!

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RE: Does it matter if you stretch the truth? - 1/10/2011 12:35:07 AM

CherryNeko

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Man shouldn't lie in the first place.

This kind of relationships are strongly based on trust and honesty, and if man can't be sincere at the beginning, man may be inclined to lie later as well. Also, the knowledge of having been insincere will be bothering man and he just won't enjoy it.

Stretching the truth is in the same wagon as lying if they effectively mislead people. Wanting them to get another impression reflects a purely personal issue that needs to be improved, and it just gets in the way of a potentially good BDSM relationship.

Of course, man can come out. He can even be forgiven, but the problem is the initial need to 'stretch the truth' and the unfavorable reaction it brings along.

quote:

should he come clean or wait to tell her the truth.

About that, I think it depends on your personality. Some people can handle it until the moment is right. I cannot. I can't live with it, it makes it impossible for me to even sleep. But then again, that's only me.

Only, well. Man shouldn't wait until Beautiful Woman thinks he is... or something like that. It should be more like a "Oh, what a mistake! I'll tell her... no, wait, she's busy... and now... no, wait, she's happy. Hey, Beautiful Woman, I have something to tell you, it is quite serious, so is now a good time? sort of thing.

Don't make fun of my dramatization.

By the way, I totally agree with Poise's first comment:

quote:

Said man is lying to himself in the first place by assuming that money can buy love

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RE: Does it matter if you stretch the truth? - 1/10/2011 12:38:15 AM

crazyml

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Er... yup, he should come clean.

Now - if he'd said that he had a ton of experience dealing with subs... that would be different.

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RE: Does it matter if you stretch the truth? - 1/10/2011 12:52:56 AM

AquaticSub

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I would be, and have been, with men who had crappy jobs or were struggling to find work. I find nothing wrong with a person who is doing what they can in a shitty economy.

I have a major problem with a person who lies to me.

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RE: Does it matter if you stretch the truth? - 1/10/2011 1:36:24 AM

RapierFugue

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

For example man meets beautiful woman who is out of his league he tells her he has a good job and that it pays well (he just leaves out that it involves making sand whitches at subway, and flipping burgers at burger king does he ever need to come clean) should he come clean or wait to tell her the truth.

While I find the question fairly daft/simplistic I would take issue with the wording; you can't "stretch" the truth. A statement is true or it is not. Therefore "stretching" the truth is actually "a lie, but a lie that's watertight enough for me to be able to get away with". Therefore it's still a lie. And lies are not a good basis on which to develop a relationship with someone.

<mnottertail Mode>

Unless the lie secures one a blow-job, in which case it's justified.

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RE: Does it matter if you stretch the truth? - 1/10/2011 4:11:38 AM

Awareness

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

For example man meets beautiful woman who is out of his league he tells her he has a good job and that it pays well (he just leaves out that it involves making sand whitches at subway, and flipping burgers at burger king does he ever need to come clean) should he come clean or wait to tell her the truth.

One of the attributes of being dominant is integrity. Deliberately deceiving a woman to paint a rosier picture of your reality demonstrates a lack of integrity and a lack of comfort with yourself.

The key is knowing within yourself that whatever your situation, you are more than enough enough. Women often don't give a fuck what you do as long as you pursue your goals with drive and passion.

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RE: Does it matter if you stretch the truth? - 1/10/2011 4:36:22 AM

kalikshama

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I'd have a lot more respect for an honest person with a crappy temporary job than a dishonest one.

I flipped burgers when I was young. If anything ever happened to this job (knock wood) I'd take a crappy one while I was looking for another great one.

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RE: Does it matter if you stretch the truth? - 1/10/2011 5:44:31 AM

sunshinemiss

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You heard it here first, folks...

Sunny
quote of the day

goes to
sexyred1
for
I cannot believe adults ask these types of questions.

Congratulations!

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RE: Does it matter if you stretch the truth? - 1/10/2011 7:11:05 AM

OsideGirl

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She's supposed to trust you with her life, but you'd lie over something small. So, how is she supposed to trust you with something big?

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RE: Does it matter if you stretch the truth? - 1/10/2011 7:42:04 AM

sexyred1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

You heard it here first, folks...

Sunny
quote of the day

goes to
sexyred1
for
I cannot believe adults ask these types of questions.

Congratulations!

Sunny, this is TWICE you have awarded me this prestigious honor, thanks.

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RE: Does it matter if you stretch the truth? - 1/10/2011 8:05:29 AM

osf

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a dominant is a guy that prefers the superior role in his relationships, other than that he is like any other guy, some good some bad, some of both

the question for the sub/slave types is which do you want

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RE: Does it matter if you stretch the truth? - 1/10/2011 1:01:36 PM

crazyml

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It's rigged. I should have won it for my "experience dealing with subs" gag.

He works in subway.... so he deals with subs all day long... geddit???

<sigh>

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RE: Does it matter if you stretch the truth? - 1/10/2011 1:17:12 PM

sunshinemiss

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Quotes of the day are not groaners.... tut tut. Don't be jealous.

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RE: Does it matter if you stretch the truth? - 1/10/2011 9:42:02 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

You heard it here first, folks...

Sunny
quote of the day

goes to
sexyred1
for
I cannot believe adults ask these types of questions.

Congratulations!

Sunny, this is TWICE you have awarded me this prestigious honor, thanks.

So, "do you really have to ask this question" doesn't quite cut it, huh? LOL.

Not an issue. Any day that Red and I have the same vibe is a good day.

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RE: Does it matter if you stretch the truth? - 1/10/2011 10:07:43 PM

Rule

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Do not lie, and go for her.

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RE: Does it matter if you stretch the truth? - 1/10/2011 10:50:44 PM

NihilusZero

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quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

Said man is lying to himself in the first place by assuming that money can buy love.

Anything can. Humans tend to favor more emotional currency, but everything in life is a barter in something of value.

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 1/10/2011 10:51:02 PM >

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RE: Does it matter if you stretch the truth? - 1/10/2011 10:53:57 PM

NihilusZero

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OP:

It would depend how important the person's desire for your monetary income to be plentiful is versus how much they want the source of your plentiful monetary income to be prestigious.

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I know they're all insane
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I know that I'm to blame."
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RE: Does it matter if you stretch the truth? - 1/11/2011 6:40:31 AM

DesFIP

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Except if he's neither got plenty nor prestige and he's deliberately picked a woman who wanted one or the other, then he has none of the three.

You don't think she'll notice that the only place you take her for dinner is the burger joint you work at since your buddies will give you free food there? If you claim to be oh so wealthy, she'll be expecting you to take her somewhere better. Or conclude you're a miser. And people who are financially stingy are emotionally stingy as well. Since it's their emotional problems that lead them to be miserly.

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RE: Does it matter if you stretch the truth? - 1/11/2011 7:42:16 AM

lizi

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It matters if someone is not truthful. That is the number one thing I look for in a partner...honesty. I understand that sometimes people lie in order not to hurt someone in what is known as a white lie, I'm not going to be tiresome and say that every person should be completely honest at all times because I know that isn't realistic. I do think it's important not to lie about anything significant and misrepresenting your job would be a significant lie.

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