RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing..

RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. (Full Version)

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RapierFugue -> RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. (1/10/2011 7:53:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop I'm stil using a very old version of IE Then you are the spawn of satan ;)

GreedyTop -> RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. (1/10/2011 7:53:52 AM)
this is news?

AquaticSub -> RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. (1/10/2011 7:54:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RapierFugue quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub That and set up your Internet protection better. How did your 14 year old daughter find your CM account? She shouldn't have been on this site. Perhaps put a password on your computer, delete browser history more often, install some nanny software. And all decent browsers now have "private" modes (like "InPrivate" for IE), where you can browse without adding to the cache or history. But you still have to know how to use them and set up, plus be saavy enough to know the difference between a decent browser and a shitty one. While that isn't particularly hard, I know what enough very intelligent people fuck it up to be certain that this could be a simple mistake like a kid find a parent's porn stash or (depending on skill level of said child and what they did) breaking into a locked box to find the floggers. ETA - It's obviously a problem. I would just rather ID what happened and then assist in putting up more preventative measures.

SirsSub63 -> RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. (1/10/2011 7:54:49 AM)
Yes, I set up a separate act for my own personal use. I figured if I did, since its not the norm here, would raise red flags. :( I should have anyway.

LadyPact -> RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. (1/10/2011 7:55:26 AM)
Welcome to the forums. Without reservation, I'm going to say that I would hate to be in your shoes right now. The reasons that you and your husband told her were the causes of the two of you getting divorced are probably not looking true to her right now. Guess who just got the lion's share of the blame for destroying the family in her eyes? It shouldn't be a surprise to you that she isn't speaking to you. Thankfully, you'll have some allies in your husband and potentially a counselor that will want to help her in regaining the trust in you that she's obviously lost. I'd imagine that is going to take a serious time investment because the image that she had of you two days ago is shattered. You've got a lot of work ahead of you. A very good thing that your husband knew about the cyber Dom and isn't the type to use it against you when it comes time for custody. Most judges will ask a dependent who they want to have primary physical custody of them. If she relates that she has no trust or respect for you after you had a cyber relationship that she wasn't aware of, that might hurt you in the long run. I'd highly suggest doing whatever it takes to begin the process of repairing your relationship with your daughter. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that you should specifically seek out a kink friendly therapist for counseling if at all possible. While the focus of this isn't on BDSM, there's going to be a time where those explanations are going to come into it. Best of luck to your daughter. I feel terribly sorry for her.

RapierFugue -> RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. (1/10/2011 7:56:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze Your daughter is 14, you know she possibly just starts exploring her own sexuality and now is confronted with BDSM and her mother being involved in it, let's face it, we all don't want to think about our parents being sexual On the bright side, it'll probably put the kid off trying any form of sex for decades; anything your parents like is lame and un-cool and to be avoided :)

sexyred1 -> RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. (1/10/2011 7:58:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub Sorry, Red, I simply disagree with you. She's new but doesn't particularly strike me as in sub frenzy - I'd expect her to be talking about how much happier she is/will be once owned, etc. There are tons of ways the kid could have found the site without her being a bad parent. Just depends on how clear the kid is and how little she knows about covering her ass on the computer. Don't ask me how I know. Obviously there is a problem and the OP needs to step up, be it locking the computer away or simply sitting in the same room as her daughter when she is on the 'net but I really don't feel this warrents such.. intensity. Ah, well different reactions for different folk. I just saw my 11 year old nieces yesterday and could not imagine them ever having to deal with something like that. And they never will since since their parents have adult protection on the many computers they use.

RapierFugue -> RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. (1/10/2011 7:58:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop this is news? Good point, fairly made :) PS: You say you've still got that cold? :( Get well soon!

SirsSub63 -> RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. (1/10/2011 7:58:42 AM)
She found sites her Dad went also, but I got the blaim. She didnt like the idea of divorce to begin with so this just adds to it.

SirsSub63 -> RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. (1/10/2011 8:00:26 AM)
We come from a conservitive family, therefore this is much more of a shock than the average family, I guess. It's going to hurt for a while. I'm not sure when she will even talk to me again.

AquaticSub -> RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. (1/10/2011 8:01:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 Ah, well different reactions for different folk. I just saw my 11 year old nieces yesterday and could not imagine them ever having to deal with something like that. And they never will since since their parents have adult protection on the many computers they use. Sweetie, you have mail because I don't want to piss off the mods. [:)]

sexyred1 -> RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. (1/10/2011 8:01:17 AM)
With Dad and Mom on various adult sites this sounds like a great situation for kids.

GreedyTop -> RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. (1/10/2011 8:02:54 AM)
ok, I am outa this (I think). but there is way too much going on for me to be reasonable///

Jeffff -> RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. (1/10/2011 8:02:56 AM)
You realize you are asking a bunch of internet whack jobs for advice in a very serious personal issue? Just off the top of my head, I wouldn't recommend that.

SirsSub63 -> RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. (1/10/2011 8:03:51 AM)
You know I feel bad enough for ruining my daughters life. I guess I should have stayed away from here since some are not understanding. :( I can here for advise not more hurt.

RapierFugue -> RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. (1/10/2011 8:05:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 And they never will since since their parents have adult protection on the many computers they use. Never say never :) A mate of mine installed "protection", monitoring and logging software on his kids' laptops ... that worked until they were 13, when the eldest worked out how to crack them. My mate went spare about it, but I pointed out it was bloody impressive, from a technical POV - some of those programmes are apparently a right bugger to crack. There's no such thing as a secure system. "Cat 10" does not exist IRL. All one can do is take reasonable precautions, as you're doing, but don't for one second think anything's unbreakable.

LadyPact -> RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. (1/10/2011 8:05:05 AM)
By the way, anybody who wants to help the resident computer twit (Me) in explaining exactly how a person can access a profile (who doesn't have the password) after logging out of the site, please send Me a note on the other side. As far as I know, if you actually sign out, the site will come up, but not the actual account. So, anybody willing to explain exactly how a person can do that, please drop Me a note on the other side. Thanks.

AquaticSub -> RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. (1/10/2011 8:06:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirsSub63 You know I feel bad enough for ruining my daughters life. I guess I should have stayed away from here since some are not understanding. :( I can here for advise not more hurt. Oh Jesus Christ. You didn't ruin her life. Look she isn't going to "catch" the pervert's disease. She's pissed cause her parents are divorcing. It's a hard, scary and upsetting time but that isn't going to ruin her life either. If my Dad actively cheating and then having the partner of the said mistress actually call and THREATEN myself and my family didn't ruin my life, her finding out that her Mom had a cyber dom isn't going to ruin hers. Chill. You are seriously making this into a bigger deal than it is and probably upsetting your daughter more in the process.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. (1/10/2011 8:07:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirsSub63 You know I feel bad enough for ruining my daughters life. I guess I should have stayed away from here since some are not understanding. :( I can here for advise not more hurt. A couple of people have told you that you should talk to a professional about it, yes a kink friendly councilor would be best. None of us know you, your family or your daughter, also we can talk until we're blue in the face it's not going to change your situation at home. Talk to a specialist and make your daughter see somebody, that's going to help, asking us for sympathy doesn't change your situation one bit.

AquaticSub -> RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. (1/10/2011 8:08:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact By the way, anybody who wants to help the resident computer twit (Me) in explaining exactly how a person can access a profile (who doesn't have the password) after logging out of the site, please send Me a note on the other side. As far as I know, if you actually sign out, the site will come up, but not the actual account. So, anybody willing to explain exactly how a person can do that, please drop Me a note on the other side. Thanks. YGM with the only thing I can think of.

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