Jaybeee
Posts: 532
Joined: 2/2/2010
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You know, I've never given this dark concept much thought until the last 3-4 years when a couple of people close to me passed away, alone.
And by "Alone" I mean literally that, nothing to do with being married or kids, but there actually being nobody in the house, or a colleague working late when it happens. I watched this scene on some tv drama where the copper comes across a road accident, the woman driver's legs are crushed, she happens to be a Doctor and tells him her chances of surviving until the ambulance arrives are nil. He's a young fella, fairly new on the job to boot and doesn't quite know what to say, he's close to tears and despite her injuries, she reassures him that he's doing fine. It was a moving scene.
Though that's fiction, it's all got me thinking how I would deal with such a situation as a stranger. I guess a dying person would need to feel loved and cared for in the final minutes, even if it's by a stranger. But I wonder if I should lead the conversation with compliments, or let him/her lead, perhaps if I start chattering away I'll disrupt his last thoughts as he tries to interact with me.
But what if there were nobody there for him? What if he were a lonely soul anyway, and the last minutes are the most painful as he never got the friendship he wanted? I would want to fulfil that longing, even if only at the end of his life, so he could go happily. Or say it was a rather unattractive girl who clearly didn't have much luck with men, would she not want a kiss before dying, literally?
At the risk of trivialising the topic, I would feel awkward about asking a dying girl, "Ermmm, would you like a kiss?" I get the feeling this is all almost a taboo topic, one you (should) know about but don't talk about because it would cheapen the effect for the dying person to hear a bunch of cliche'd lines. But still, a part of me is afraid of just winging it.
About 25 years ago, my Aunt twice removed died after being driven to drink by her abusive bastard of a husband. She was a lovely soul who was also quite the beauty, and had a soft spot for me. In her final hours she died of hypothermia in an alleyway, barely 28 years old, tear-stricken according to the Coroner's report. Recently I've wished she could have approached my 15yr old self at the time. I don't know what I would have offered her but I would have said it's never too late to make a fresh start.
I could I understand people who die feel a sense of sudden elation as the brain produces a final enormous surge of Endorphins, and I hope this is true of those who die alone, cold, and in pitiful circumstances.
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Dying alone, some thoughts... - 
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