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What totally and completely does it for you? - 1/14/2011 8:06:50 PM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline 		Hey submissives, slaves, submits (counterpart to dominates?), bottoms, masochists, the kept, and other below-sorts,

I was wondering. What experience, fetish, desire, need, activity, mental environment, physical characteristic, emotional experience, personality, or other thing absolutely hooks you, makes you feel "Ok, this is it. I give up. This totally does it for me." In case this is not clear, here is a rephrasing of the quesiton, What most addicts you to your version of submission?

I've been thinking about this lately. It was hard to choose one thing. There are so many things I like and always want more of. It's still largely theoretical for me, but in applying past experiences and attitudes with current thought I do believe for me it's fear. In the right circumstances, this experience is pure unadulterated emotional heroin for me. (It might be more appropriate to liken the experience of fear to a psychedelic, but I am trying to get across the concept of dependency here.) A close second for me is enforced servitude, i.e. something that I no longer freely choose. Its advantage is that it can be maintained over long periods of time, wheres fear tends to be a transitory emotion: you can't sustain large amounts of it for a lenghty time without going a little or a lot mad. And once you go mad, you may not be feeling fear anymore.

So, what addicts you? What makes you willing to do anything, absolutely anything, for more?

(And of course, those of you who frown on addiction--of any sort--or who are never addicted to anything are welcome to say youre piece, as well. I'm not particularly picky. I just like to know what others think.)

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"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris
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RE: What totally and completely does it for you? - 1/14/2011 8:29:30 PM   
mbes


Posts: 465
Joined: 12/14/2006
Status: offline 		Wow, I was having the hardest time thinking of just one thing that really did it for me every.single.time, but you nailed it. Fear. Or more precisely the heightened sense of awareness that comes with just the right amount of fear. All of the things that take my breath away have that as a common denominator.
A close second is loss of control. I'm a control freak. Getting it away from me. or getting me to the point where I give it away willingly, is a beautiful, nigh unto spiritual, thing.
Great. Now I need to go kneel or something...

(in reply to CaringandReal)
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RE: What totally and completely does it for you? - 1/14/2011 8:46:04 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Loss of control.
Realization of my deepest, darkest fantasies.
Realization of my partner's deepest, darkest fantasies.


(in reply to mbes)
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RE: What totally and completely does it for you? - 1/14/2011 8:50:27 PM   
WestBaySlave


Posts: 501
Joined: 9/24/2008
Status: offline 		For me it can best be described as a sense of peace, intimacy, and security. It's that place where I no longer have to think, analyze, or make decisions for myself; where I have no responsibility for what happens because I have no control; where I know I will be guided and directed and be safe; where I can express my affection and sexuality in the way most natural for me. At its peak, it's like I'm living in a little world that is just me and him, and he's god of it.

What I'm describing is a feeling, however, rather than the flesh and bones reality of a situation. How much it's expressed at any given moment can vary enormously, and how it looks and what is done can vary just as much, but it's the feeling itself that makes me seek something structured along D/s lines.

As for fear, it does not work for me - at all. In short durations it makes me sad, stressed, and clingy, in longer durations it makes me angry, depressed, and combative. Neither are very good for the kind of D/s dynamic I enjoy. In order to submit I need to truly feel that nothing really bad will happen, even if it seems like I've put myself in harms way.

(in reply to CaringandReal)
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RE: What totally and completely does it for you? - 1/14/2011 10:52:21 PM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		fear to some degree, but also knowing that i can't win. i really like physically dominant people. i'm usually attracted to men who are obviously bigger and undeniably stronger than i am. i like knowing that he could literally put me down if need be. a user on Fetlife wrote a great journal about the predator/prey relationship that i could really relate to.
but yeah, i really respond to physically dominant men.

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RE: What totally and completely does it for you? - 1/15/2011 3:25:36 AM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline 		I crave the mental leap my mind has to make in order to get over myself and do what I'm told. It's a challenge to put aside how I'm to be in public and twist myself around to be on my knees, responsive to commands, and yes, a little bit fearful of consequences. I enjoy the mental struggle with myself more than anything physical and the feeling of release - of submission - when I do let a particular thought/fear/standard go not only in action but in my emotions and thoughts. I can do whatever I'm told, sure. But to accept it, understand it, be okay with it, want it, enjoy it, let go of shame and give it all to him - that's the hurdle in my head that I like to have to fight myself to get over.


Well, that and cock worship. LOVE it.

< Message edited by Kaliko -- 1/15/2011 3:30:26 AM >

(in reply to CaringandReal)
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RE: What totally and completely does it for you? - 1/15/2011 3:41:08 AM   
BurntKitty


Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CaringandReal


So, what addicts you? What makes you willing to do anything, absolutely anything, for more?




A yank of the hair and quick slap of my face. I'm instantly in the proper headspace no matter if I was laughing or giggling seconds before. It's like a light is turned on and I can focus on the dominant/top solely.


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RE: What totally and completely does it for you? - 1/15/2011 5:37:02 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		His focus on me. I'm addicted to his attention. Without it, I get pissy and feel taken for granted.

Activity speaking, him biting my neck. He's been known to wait till I'm in the middle of saying something, and do that, and then laugh as my train of thought goes right out the window. Wrapping his hand around my neck, front or back. Putting his arm around my throat and dragging me back against him. Yum.


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RE: What totally and completely does it for you? - 1/15/2011 7:17:21 AM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
Joined: 4/10/2007
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CaringandReal

So, what addicts you? What makes you willing to do anything, absolutely anything, for more?


It's really hard to describe... sort of an "anti-humiliation" thing.  His reinforcement of my own worth and esteem, while asserting his dominance over me.  Essentially, it is pride of possession.

(in reply to CaringandReal)
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RE: What totally and completely does it for you? - 1/15/2011 7:48:01 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		what addicts me?

Love....pure, human, utterly falling into his eyes and voice, wanting to be with him 24/7, stay with him always, love.

He tells me how much he loves me, he shows it in his everyday actions and words.

That's what does it for me each and every time.

(in reply to TreasureKY)
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RE: What totally and completely does it for you? - 1/15/2011 8:06:00 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Loss of control.
Realization of my deepest, darkest fantasies.
Realization of my partner's deepest, darkest fantasies.





#1 and #3, #2 is not something I'm overly concerned about

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all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to sexyred1)
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RE: What totally and completely does it for you? - 1/15/2011 10:04:41 AM   
ThePeripatetic


Posts: 139
Joined: 12/21/2010
Status: offline 		There has been numerous ways to bring me into this mindset of saying/thinking...
quote:

"Ok, this is it. I give up. This totally does it for me."


The one constant though, the dynamic that will most quickly bring me to this state, is rope. Once I get a bit of rope wrapped around my body I immediately revert into submissive mode. It just flips that switch in my head.

(Edited to correct formatting)

< Message edited by ThePeripatetic -- 1/15/2011 10:05:53 AM >

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"The Journey is the Destination" - Dan Eldon (One of my heroes. R.I.P.)

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RE: What totally and completely does it for you? - 1/15/2011 10:12:32 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		It was the person; it is Him.

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RE: What totally and completely does it for you? - 1/15/2011 5:35:38 PM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mbes

Wow, I was having the hardest time thinking of just one thing that really did it for me every.single.time, but you nailed it. Fear. Or more precisely the heightened sense of awareness that comes with just the right amount of fear. All of the things that take my breath away have that as a common denominator.
A close second is loss of control. I'm a control freak. Getting it away from me. or getting me to the point where I give it away willingly, is a beautiful, nigh unto spiritual, thing.
Great. Now I need to go kneel or something...



LOL! Did you have fun kneeling? :D You know, your kneeling is now making me want to kneel. Maybe it is catching. :/

I liked the way you put that "...the heightened sense of awareness that comes with just the right amount of fear." I have noticed that heightened awareness many times, not always with fear, but often. Sometimes I experience it as a cool breeze blowing through my mind, but what's always true is that you are right there, right now, in the moment, aware of everything, no escape into a fantasy possible. But I also like fear part as well--as long as it doesn't kill me! :p

Edited to add:

Wow, really eloquent and to the point answers, everyone! I can relate to all of them (even to OSF's :p) so I am not going to do individual replies this time. But I did want to say I am really enjoying reading these. You're reminding me of feelings l love as well.

< Message edited by CaringandReal -- 1/15/2011 5:41:14 PM >

_____________________________

"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to mbes)
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RE: What totally and completely does it for you? - 1/15/2011 5:54:37 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		the slight change in his voice when he goes from husband to Master.

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CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


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RE: What totally and completely does it for you? - 1/15/2011 5:57:23 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

the slight change in his voice when he goes from husband to Master.


hard to believe right now...though funnily I imagined that reply to be from you, when I have seen it in the preview

sorry OP...can't that much contribute to your topic...

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The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

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RE: What totally and completely does it for you? - 1/15/2011 6:49:45 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		I remember my first fire fight as though it was yesterday, adrenalin has a way of making things vivid

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to Phoenixpower)
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RE: What totally and completely does it for you? - 1/15/2011 6:58:02 PM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		the one thing that brings me to my knees anytime or place is Mistress bitting the back of my neck. as far as making me want to submit its more of just being able to be at Her feet, the feeling of comfort of being totaly owned and not have any demands beyond my Mistress

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proud to serve the awsome
LadyPact

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RE: What totally and completely does it for you? - 1/15/2011 7:18:50 PM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline 		Power.

To be specific, financial, political, physical, social, mental - power.

Knowing that no matter what I do, that I have no choice but to give in...as he has complete power over me, and one way or another, he WILL get what he wants.

Yes, that's hot. Brings me to the floor at his toes of his wingtips every time.

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

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RE: What totally and completely does it for you? - 1/16/2011 7:39:22 AM   
81song


Posts: 293
Joined: 1/22/2005
Status: offline 		I guess the 1st thing come to mind is leather and the smell.

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