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Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/17/2011 8:22:29 PM   
trueshadow


Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline 		Someone started a thread on this subject from a few years back, and I had an immediate response because it almost happened to me.

I used to be pretty active in the local community.  There was a thriving FemDomme group that had munches once a month.  I enjoyed hanging out with female dominants and male subs/slaves.

Then one time a group of us went out to a restaurant afterwords.  I was excited about being with a couple of Dommes I didn't know, so I actively participated in the conversation.

One Domme objected strongly, telling the group that it was impossible for me to be a slave, because I didn't wait to talk until I was asked a direct question.  I will tell you I was shocked.

Then this woman started posting everywhere on the local boards that trueshadows couldn't possibly be a slave, etc.

Well, I started getting nasty feedback, and I was banned by the local group, I guess for not being submissive enough.

I wrote this Domme and begged her to forgive me, and to tell others that maybe I could actually be a slave. 

I wanted to offer to have her do whatever she wanted to me, just to prove it.  However, sanity prevailed and I didn't put myself into that situation.  Really, if I could have trusted her, it would have been worth it to be severely punished to apologize to her.

(I know I'm a slave because, well, I am!  I get excited about powerful women, and fantasize about serving them.  I've also done it in real life a number of times.)

Anyway, I would probably have submitted to her, even though I didn't respect her.  I was just afraid of her.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/17/2011 8:37:57 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline 		Other than work (because I need a pay check and some managers are just idiots LOL). Never. I only submit to a Domme who I can trust. And that trust is earned, not given as it should be.

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

(in reply to trueshadow)
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RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/17/2011 8:47:42 PM   
SorceressJ


Posts: 2968
Joined: 7/24/2010
Status: offline 		In a word of one syllable, without the need for any explanation whatsoever - NO.

_____________________________

‎Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc. <93>)O(

(in reply to mummyman321)
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RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/17/2011 8:56:38 PM   
hausboy


Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline 		Fully agree: absolutely NOT.  I cannot submit to someone I don't respect.

I recently joined a FemDom group, and I'm a bit nervous about it, because I come from the school of: I may be a houseboy, but I'm not YOUR houseboy, so don't expect me to automatically be your domestic servant.  Respectful? Of course.  Polite? Certainly.  Helpful and of service? Always. But that Domme sounds completely full of herself. 

(in reply to SorceressJ)
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RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/17/2011 10:45:12 PM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline 		No I could not submit to someone I did not respect. I had a relationship fail once because although I did respect the guy at first, then he consistently didn't follow through on things the way said he would. I lost respect for him and subsequently could no longer submit. He said something about releasing me, I laughed, and said there was no need for him to make the empty gesture of releasing me when I'd released myself already.

(in reply to trueshadow)
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RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/18/2011 12:52:29 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		I've known of people who submitted for a set period of time (an evening for example) because they lost a bet / were auctioned off to raise money for a charity, etc. It was a battle of the wills kind of thing. That's more like endurance than "submitting" as I understand it. It may have been embarassing / humiliating, but they got through it.

I suppose it depends on what "submitting" is going on, for how long, with whom as to whether people will do it. Rarely is life black and white (as the mummy fellow observed).

best,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Killerangel)
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RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/18/2011 12:55:05 AM   
DeviantlyD


Posts: 4375
Joined: 5/26/2007
From: Hawai`i
Status: offline 		I concur with others on here. Nope...couldn't submit to someone I didn't respect.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/18/2011 2:40:58 AM   
soul2share


Posts: 7084
Joined: 12/18/2007
From: somewhere out there.....
Status: offline 		Nope.  I respect myself too much to do that.

_____________________________

I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?"...people are starting to take it as a challenge!

*Not a fuck was given.*

(in reply to DeviantlyD)
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RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/18/2011 2:41:56 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		nope.

well certainly not in the situation described in the OP. i wouldn't serve someone who didn't like me or show common courtesy, just to prove something.

the situation sunshinemiss describes is more like service to me; there's service and then there's "serving." haha
but service is possible with anyone for any number of reasons. like she said, there's rarely a black-and-white answer.

sometimes when you get into a situation like that, you learn more about the person that you didn't know, and maybe you can find reasons to respect them after all.


< Message edited by LillyBoPeep -- 1/18/2011 2:44:40 AM >

(in reply to soul2share)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/18/2011 2:58:31 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		I'm sorry that happened to you. You weren't anybody's slave; y'all were in a restaurant. I think it's a silly rule that in such a vanilla circumstance you'd be required to ask for permission to speak, and if such a rule actually existed, that no one could be bothered to tell you, and that you'd be blackballed for breaking it.

You could try contacting someone else in the group, but from what you've said, it sounds pretty dysfunctional. Of course, dysfunctional groups have factions, so if you were to find out who Domme A's enemy is...it all sounds very high school and I'm sorry you got caught up in it.

(in reply to trueshadow)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/18/2011 4:41:29 AM   
kdsusa7894


Posts: 193
Joined: 12/19/2010
Status: offline 		No is the answer I would give, she was no better than the self-proclaimed "Dom's" on here that send you an email and tell you that you are their submissive and need to listen, pfffttt, I don't think so. You may be a Dom but you aren't mine.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val To Aqua- Thanks!
Seduce my mind and you can have my body, find my soul and I'm yours forever...

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/18/2011 6:14:32 AM   
preytolife


Posts: 138
Joined: 11/29/2010
From: LaLa Land
Status: offline 		No, never. Bitchy Dom/mes get bitchy thrown back at them. Respect is earned and when they resort to childish games then I'm going to treat them like children. Those types of people don't deserve respect. And more to the point, I wouldn't want to be part of a group that tolerated that. Dominance is deeply personal for me, when I have enough respect for someone that I'm willing to submit I don't do it by half-measures.

< Message edited by preytolife -- 1/18/2011 6:17:46 AM >

(in reply to kdsusa7894)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/18/2011 6:37:00 AM   
zero69u2


Posts: 107
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline 		sounds like the decorum protocol of event was not told and you were just put in a awkward situation..
seems particularly vindictive for someone to trash your name. did you do anything rude to this particular domme to warrant the behavior ?

I've heard of ppl who don't want a slave to look at them while they eat or other quirky protocals where you are a serve and a attendent but your voice is not expected at the table..
especially to her guests where it might be seen as a advance towards one of her guests or interpeted wrong.. as i guess was the case.

I am going to guess that your better off not being in this group.. that you were banned from.. as your a social person and not a snob.

You may have been chatting to someone who domme A did not approve of and it just was enough to set her off.. she may not have even heard the conversation and just construed that you were socializing above your station...

Don't know the details of the situation.. but anyways.. NO to the op's question.. and No i dont think it had anything to do with disrespect but Some of the facts are not being presented... clearly..

(in reply to kdsusa7894)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/18/2011 6:41:54 AM   
purepleasure


Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline 		submit, no. bottom, yes, and only in a group setting where people i do trust are present.

_____________________________

Patience, grasshopper.

Your stupidity does not impress me.

blame it on your hormones!!! - beerbug aka ydd

(in reply to zero69u2)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/18/2011 7:21:15 AM   
subsfaith


Posts: 297
Joined: 11/21/2006
Status: offline 		Fast reply...

Yes, theoretically I could.  While I have submissive traits, being a submissive is an active choice.  So I could choose to submit to someone I didn't respect.

However, it isn't something I want to do, therefore it is unlikely I ever will.

(in reply to purepleasure)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/18/2011 8:41:18 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		maybe to the pros your not being a true slave = you don't have enough money

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to subsfaith)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/18/2011 9:05:49 PM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		i could not willingly submit to someone i had no respect for. if my Mistress said to do something for someone i would wheather i respected them or not. i trust my Mistress to keep me safe and protect me from harm so i have no hesitation in serving Her.

_____________________________

proud to serve the awsome
LadyPact

(in reply to osf)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/19/2011 7:01:52 AM   
yellowroses


Posts: 167
Joined: 6/12/2009
Status: offline 		I could not truly submit to someone I did not have respect for. Perhaps going through the motions for a short time but in the long run I could not.

One time I responded to a post on here and I started my post with "I agree with the OP....." The Domme that had posted in the OP responded to my post by saying something like "don't refer to me as OP, refer to me as________" (whatever her name was). I was taken back a little because I did not think I was being disrespectful by not using her screen name.

I think some Dom/mes just think that just because they call themselves a Dom/me they have automatically earned everything.

(in reply to LPslittleclip)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/19/2011 3:49:17 PM   
HarmonyWater


Posts: 5
Joined: 8/28/2010
Status: offline 		I can't respect someone who hasn't earned it, and the same goes with being able to actually submit to someone. I would have to trust the person i would be submitting to to not hurt me beyond something i could truly handle mentally, physically, and emotionally. Anyone that says that i must submit just because they are "in charge" and that it is "my duty" to serve them quickly finds out that is not how it works. They are the people that i would avoid because if they are acting like that now imagine how it would be if you did submit to them.

(in reply to yellowroses)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/19/2011 4:47:58 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline 		I could "bottom" to someone temporarily that I do not respect just as I can have (and have had) sex with people I did not "respect." "Respect" isn't a prerequisite for those activities for me. "Submitting" to someone mentally/emotionally, etc. as an ongoing thing, however, is much much different for me. That absolutely requires respect. I learned that the hard way after submitting to my ex-husband for over 10 years (in a vanilla marriage) where I honestly did not respect him............luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to trueshadow)
Profile   Post #: 20
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