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RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/21/2011 10:58:32 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

on the flip flop side it might be interesting to have a slave that hated me

I am sure that could be arranged.

Kidding!!!

But seriously...I sort of agree with came4u. I think if we all look back, we have done things with people we do not particularly respect or know well enough to know if we respect them or not.

As for hate, you can definitely sometimes hate the one you love, or submit to. Passion is comprised of many feelings at varying times and often cannot be controlled or forced to be directed to the right person.

I often found myself telling my ex that I hated him during the heat of passion; and then saying I loved him and vice versa. We were crazy that way.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 1/21/2011 11:00:57 AM >

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 41

RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/21/2011 11:01:22 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

on the flip flop side it might be interesting to have a slave that hated me

I am sure that could be arranged. Kidding!!!

But seriously...I sort of agree with came4u. I think if we all look back, we have done things with people we do not particularly respect or know well enough to know if we respect them or not.

As for hate, you can definitely sometimes hate the one you love, or submit to. Passion is comprised of many feelings at varying times and often cannot be controlled or forced to be directed to the right person.

I like to provoke that on occasion, it's a power rush to control one that has that feeling toward you

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 42

RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/22/2011 7:29:56 AM

SourandSweet

Posts: 66
Joined: 1/22/2011
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Theoretically I would submit to someone I didn't respect - but only if my dom made me do so!

Fortunately he's never (yet) put me in such a position, and is unlikely to do so.

If he did I guess I'd consider it submitting to him by proxy, rather than directly submitting to Mr/Ms Unrespected.

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 43

RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/22/2011 11:51:55 AM

HisEvelyn

Posts: 252
Joined: 1/21/2010
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I could not submit to someone I did not respect. I am the sort of person who cannot even be intimate with someone I do not respect. By intimate, I mean sexually in this instance. If I'm horny and there's no one I care for and respect around? I just masturbate. I've never really done one-night stands. I just can't, it's not in my nature. I have no problem with those that do, I'm just unable to personally.

It's even moreso when it comes to submission. I am polite and nice to pretty much everybody. But I could never submit myself in any true sense to someone I did not respect. The only possible exception to this is if Master commanded me to serve someone, because 1) he would never ask me to serve in a sexual sense and 2)I would be serving out of respect for my Master, not the other person.

I'm not perfect though, and I've made mistakes. In my youth, I occasionally felt respect for those who didn't ultimately deserve it, and I paid for it. I'm more careful now, and willing to be patient.

(in reply to SourandSweet)

Post #: 44

RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/22/2011 12:04:06 PM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
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I guess I have a different view of what submission is, to me submission is a attitude and the act of submitting is a behavior.

you can submit without being submissive to someone

i think relationships begin with the behavior and the attitude follows

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to HisEvelyn)

Post #: 45

RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/22/2011 2:07:32 PM

coookie

Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
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I could go through the actions of submitting though for me submitting is more an intrinsic thing. It is something that makes me want to go beyond any borders for that person to make them happy.

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 46

RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/27/2011 7:16:34 PM

Genobee

Posts: 28
Joined: 11/7/2010
Status: offline

Eh? The whole thing seems kind of messed up to me..
1. It sounds like you were hanging out with people as friends, not as anyone's servant/sub which would make that kind of remark judgmental and unreliable in the first place.

2. If you don't respect them then don't bother with them. Unless you want to be the servant/sub of someone you don't like.. and be made to like them? I guess? I suppose I can see the kink in that..
Personally though, I would rather be in a relationship with a mistress that has a good connection with me and just role-play out situations like that. xP

3. Well to answer your question directly though.. the second part of 2. really says it.
I could I guess...but I wouldn't really want to because I believe it would be more healthy to rp a situation like that with someone I do respect. That is if I really wanted that certain kink. ;o

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 47

RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/28/2011 12:32:58 PM

Chulain

Posts: 283
Joined: 1/27/2011
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I think you, OP, knew the answer to the question in the title before you posted it.

(in reply to trueshadow)

Post #: 48

RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/30/2011 9:13:01 PM

subdreamz

Posts: 15
Joined: 9/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

I guess I have a different view of what submission is, to me submission is a attitude and the act of submitting is a behavior.

you can submit without being submissive to someone

i think relationships begin with the behavior and the attitude follows

quote:

I guess I have a different view of what submission is, to me submission is a attitude and the act of submitting is a behavior.

you can submit without being submissive to someone

i think relationships begin with the behavior and the attitude follows

I can only apply this to my experience. Yes, I submit to those that do not deserve my respect. Sleeping with them and acquiescing to them though... are two very different things. I do not respect my boss, but I will go out of my way to meet his needs if they are clear...except sexually. That requires respect and chemistry and trust. Give me a tongue lashing and I will take it, assimilate it and adapt to meet your needs. I can't help it. It is who I am and what I do. But.... if You wish to connect with me physically? Show me respect. You will get respect tenfold in return.

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 49

RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/31/2011 11:44:23 PM

TotallyDude

Posts: 184
Joined: 1/30/2011
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I could definitely submit to somebody I disliked, somebody who disliked me a little. In fact the idea of that is pretty hot. I'd go so far as to say that an ideal dynamic for playing with somebody for me is one of playful antagonism.

Respecting a woman is a complicated concept. The Dude could certainly submit to someone he didn't consider his equal in some ways. The crucial element is that in a certain situation she has to want the power and have the desire and force of personality to claim it. It may not speak well of me as a person but if a woman has a strong enough psychosexual charisma, and is physically attractive to me, I can be smitten by and submissive to her regardless of other traits she might have as a human being.

_____________________________

The Dude abides.

Fortune and glory, kid, fortune and glory.

(in reply to trueshadow)

Post #: 50

RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 2/1/2011 11:06:42 AM

HisManegirl

Posts: 113
Joined: 11/5/2010
From: East Coast
Status: offline

I couldn't submit to someone I don't respect. Of course in a job situation I have , but them maybe that is why I am self employed now :).

(in reply to TotallyDude)

Post #: 51

RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 2/3/2011 12:18:45 AM

MadamAurantia

Posts: 23
Joined: 2/2/2011
Status: offline

I think HisManeGirl sums me up quite nicely.

I don't think I could, not really. I've only had one Dom, and he likes the fact that as dominant as I am to others I will only submit to him. It's a bit of a rush for both of us. Even then, half the fun is that I'm what some call a SAM. If I don't misbehave, how can I expect to be punished?

Fun fun fun! But if something's said in seriousness, it's taken seriously.

It goes both ways, though. If I don't respect someone and they don't respect me, why waste my time with them? The one real sub that I tried to have didn't last long, mostly because I'd tell him to do something and he'd only pretend to do it. "Did you do your homework?" "Yes." A month later: "I flunked that test, should have actually DONE the homework..." Erg.

(in reply to HisManegirl)

Post #: 52

RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 2/3/2011 9:44:25 PM

andreaC

Posts: 195
Joined: 10/15/2006
Status: offline

nope never, i only submit to my Master.

_____________________________

andreaC - owned by Master Carrera2
Complete and extremely happy :)
Jeg elsker deg Herre

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 53

RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 2/7/2011 8:05:04 PM

HisSexyBrat

Posts: 16
Joined: 1/31/2011
Status: offline

NOT a chance. It is essential that a sub respects the Dom, with respect comes the trust. They go hand in hand.

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 54

RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 2/8/2011 3:41:12 AM

subtlebutterfly

Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline

FR:
I'm not a person that submits to everybody. I definitely need to respect the person I submit to and that may not even be enough, there needs to be a certain connection that makes me want to submit. However, I will not dominate anyone so I cannot refer to myself as a switch at all.

_____________________________

~Ms. Awesomeness to YOU!~

(in reply to HisSexyBrat)

Post #: 55

RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 2/8/2011 9:04:24 PM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline

~FR~
Other than submitting to a superior in an employment situation? NO!! Absolutely not. I may bottom to someone I don't respect, but I would never willingly submit to them. I have done so in the past and learned my lesson the hard way. That does not, however, mean I will ever do it again.

~sweetsub~

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)

Post #: 56

RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 2/8/2011 9:10:46 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

I think the more important question is.... "Can one have such relationship endure and thrive if you submitted to someone that you didn't respect?"

Personally... I don't believe it would be possible.... so the question to me would then be... why would someone submit to another they didn't respect when there was no possibility of it enduring or be thriving relationship for All those involved?

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to trueshadow)

Post #: 57

RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 2/9/2011 1:26:36 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

As for hate, you can definitely sometimes hate the one you love, or submit to. Passion is comprised of many feelings at varying times and often cannot be controlled or forced to be directed to the right person.

Greetings sexyred,

There's a cathartic edge to what you've said. But I'm looking at it from the perspective that the negative isn't necessarily the root but merely what's displayed. Perhaps the barrier that stands between that needs to be demolished. Sometimes we're really not fighting against the other party but really wrestling with ourselves. Having someone that is willing to push and unearth what's pleasant and unsavory can evoke an earth shattering release and provide a much needed breath for its recipient. The interesting spin is whether that can only occur in the hands of the one you respect or if that individual is merely the safest choice.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 58

RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 2/9/2011 1:42:52 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

The wonderful things that happen to us guys when the little brain does the thinking.

[shudder]

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www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to trueshadow)

Post #: 59

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