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RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/19/2011 4:53:29 PM

osf

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could you love someone that you wouldn't want for a friend?

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RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/19/2011 5:06:57 PM

slaveluci

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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

could you love someone that you wouldn't want for a friend?

I can and have. Not sure that I would ever sign up for that again

luci

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RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/19/2011 5:13:14 PM

osf

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

could you love someone that you wouldn't want for a friend?

I can and have. Not sure that I would ever sign up for that again

luci

then if you have submitted to them, it's tantamount to submitting to someone you didn't respect

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RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/19/2011 5:16:37 PM

slaveluci

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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

could you love someone that you wouldn't want for a friend?

I can and have. Not sure that I would ever sign up for that again

luci

then if you have submitted to them, it's tantamount to submitting to someone you didn't respect

OK...stay with me here....what did I say in the first post? I said I submitted to my ex-husband in a vanilla marriage for years and did not respect him. I will never do so again. So, no..at this point in my life....I cannot and will not submit to someone I don't respect......luci

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RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/19/2011 5:34:31 PM

osf

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

could you love someone that you wouldn't want for a friend?

I can and have. Not sure that I would ever sign up for that again

luci

then if you have submitted to them, it's tantamount to submitting to someone you didn't respect

OK...stay with me here....what did I say in the first post? I said I submitted to my ex-husband in a vanilla marriage for years and did not respect him. I will never do so again. So, no..at this point in my life....I cannot and will not submit to someone I don't respect......luci

my point being you have in the past so it's possible for you to do so

and if it was possible in the past it may be possible in the future, the operative word "possible"

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RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/19/2011 8:01:56 PM

freyjasdottir

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No, I'm too independent and full of myself.

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RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/19/2011 8:03:38 PM

FukinTroll

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quote:

ORIGINAL: freyjasdottir

No, I'm too independent and full of myself.

Would you do it for a Klondike Bar?

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RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/19/2011 8:10:30 PM

gothikbutterfly

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The way I see it, if you cannot at least respect yourself, how can you respect someone else enough to give them the most precious gift of submission?

Peace and Brightest Blessings,
Lady Raven

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RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/19/2011 8:11:23 PM

0ldhen

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Nope, been there, tried that in order to please somebody important to me, it caused me to compromise my values, then the whole thing crashed and burned badly.

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RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/19/2011 8:17:25 PM

Kaliko

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In my mind...how could I submit without respecting him? I don't even understand how the two could be separate. Bottoming, maybe, but submitting? Maybe it's done, but...I don't get it.

Okay - maybe I get it. I guess one could submit in act only, but not in heart and mind. ? Yes? I don't know...for me it all goes together.

Short answer...NO.

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RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/19/2011 8:30:39 PM

mysouldesire

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quote:

ORIGINAL: gothikbutterfly

The way I see it, if you cannot at least respect yourself, how can you respect someone else enough to give them the most precious gift of submission?

Peace and Brightest Blessings,
Lady Raven

Sadly I have done it and was found quilty and shamed when I was told "you cannot respect others if you do not respect yourself . . . You cannot love another unless you love yourself"............

I did not respect myself when I did so, I was lonely and belittled my own value.

Thanks for your input Lady Raven, which prompted me to respond.

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RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/20/2011 6:40:49 AM

osf

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another way to frame the question is what are the reasons you respect someone

I think respect is an over used not well understood word

each of us sets the conditions for gaining our respect and on close inspection I bet not all are really good reasons

if you come to respect someone and later find out that is was a mistake, is it their fault, your fault or both?

respect is an attitude and submission is a behavior

we all submit to those we don't respect all the time, work, those that have legal authority, etc.

could you, yes, would you want to?

< Message edited by osf -- 1/20/2011 6:43:41 AM >

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RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/20/2011 9:19:26 AM

LaTigresse

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On the flip side of the coin....... I don't want someone submitting to me if they don't respect me.

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RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/20/2011 9:34:31 AM

osf

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on the flip flop side it might be interesting to have a slave that hated me

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RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/20/2011 7:13:38 PM

porcelaine

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Greetings trueshadow,

I see two points of view from the question raised and both are honest assessments of my mindset but don't reflect the ideal that I aspire to maintain. Yes, I could submit to someone that I didn't respect if my desire to yield to that individual outweighed the other factors. I see the latter as self serving and it would probably be influenced by physical elements that I'm indulging. Whether the situation could be sustained or would alter over a course of time is unknown. There's a caveat to this and that might involve a scenario that is mentally taxing but fulfilling on some level. The latter doesn't presuppose that respect is lacking, but points to the discomfort the individual cultivates that feeds feelings of discontent that I abhor and enjoy.

The other perspective is more negative and akin to dancing with the devil. I see that as a situation that I'm consciously aware is not in my best interest, but the temptation and supposed gains surpass my common sense and I proceed. For all intents I should refrain but the forbidden is tantalizing and I'm willing to accept the consequences for my foolishness. In my opinion things are rarely black and white and there are notable exceptions where ones response could differ based on other factors. Whether we're willing to admit or indulge those opportunities is another subject.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

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RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/20/2011 8:11:17 PM

trueshadow

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This wasn't an event, it was four of us (two male slaves and two Dommes) at a vanilla restaurant. There were no rules that I was aware of.

I just acted as I normally would, by being interested in what others say, and contributing to the conversation.

As far as not wanting to belong to this group, please understand this was a group with twenty or more real, living, breathing Dommes who presumably were looking for slaves. Hello! This doesn't not come along very often. I would have loved to hang around for a while. Perhaps I could have met the Domme of my dreams.

quote:

ORIGINAL: zero69u2

sounds like the decorum protocol of event was not told and you were just put in a awkward situation..
seems particularly vindictive for someone to trash your name. did you do anything rude to this particular domme to warrant the behavior ?

I've heard of ppl who don't want a slave to look at them while they eat or other quirky protocals where you are a serve and a attendent but your voice is not expected at the table..
especially to her guests where it might be seen as a advance towards one of her guests or interpeted wrong.. as i guess was the case.

I am going to guess that your better off not being in this group.. that you were banned from.. as your a social person and not a snob.

You may have been chatting to someone who domme A did not approve of and it just was enough to set her off.. she may not have even heard the conversation and just construed that you were socializing above your station...

Don't know the details of the situation.. but anyways.. NO to the op's question.. and No i dont think it had anything to do with disrespect but Some of the facts are not being presented... clearly..

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RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/20/2011 8:29:13 PM

trueshadow

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Yes, I envisioned submitting my trembling naked body to her one time only, so she could use me, and then release the damning curse she placed upon me. She didn't seem interested in hearing my apologies, but persisted in trashing me on a number of local forums. For a while, I got vile e-mails from other Dommes telling me not to post, not to attend any functions, avoid munches. She started to make up things about how I supposedly acted contrary to what most people would want. I protested, but I eventually was booted off the lists. Even now, years later, I am not welcome with some Dommes. The others are too new to know of the kerfuffle. The accusing Domme apparently was very popular.

I suppose she, in a way, did control me and had her way with me. Perhaps damaging my reputation and casting me out was fun for her.

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

Greetings trueshadow,

I see two points of view from the question raised and both are honest assessments of my mindset but don't reflect the ideal that I aspire to maintain. Yes, I could submit to someone that I didn't respect if my desire to yield to that individual outweighed the other factors. I see the latter as self serving and it would probably be influenced by physical elements that I'm indulging. Whether the situation could be sustained or would alter over a course of time is unknown. There's a caveat to this and that might involve a scenario that is mentally taxing but fulfilling on some level. The latter doesn't presuppose that respect is lacking, but points to the discomfort the individual cultivates that feeds feelings of discontent that I abhor and enjoy.

The other perspective is more negative and akin to dancing with the devil. I see that as a situation that I'm consciously aware is not in my best interest, but the temptation and supposed gains surpass my common sense and I proceed. For all intents I should refrain but the forbidden is tantalizing and I'm willing to accept the consequences for my foolishness. In my opinion things are rarely black and white and there are notable exceptions where ones response could differ based on other factors. Whether we're willing to admit or indulge those opportunities is another subject.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

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RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/21/2011 12:08:51 AM

came4U

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Yeah, I suppose I could.

Respect (they say) is earned, so sometimes my 'whoremoans' got the better of me and I didn't spend the 15 minutes/15 hours/15 days/weeks/years to get to a point of knowing every detail of a person to say that I have 'genuinely' respected them. Sh*t happens. If I took the time to go back for seconds, I would demand (from myself) to seek that person's object successes that would qualify for my respect, if not, well...then respect is must not have been my priority at that given time.

I dunno, I guess I could argue that anyone who has had a one night stand must have equally have the same answer because obviously they submitted (by laying under/over) that other person without distinct and clear vision of 'true respect' anyways, no? (?? we are assuming this person is a stranger??).

Eventually, we all do so, or dayum close to doing so. Deny such if you must., your dime.

If it is someone you already know well, you respect them or you don't --that notion of knowing that answer is already in your head at the time any 'submitting' action is about to take place. I still say I could (if the situation, time were correct) with this supposed person I already know well yet do not respect. Can't help it. Sometimes my sluttyness gets in the way of my giveashittyness. Besides, personal mores be damned, sometimes I'm a sucker for a really nice cock (literally)! lol

Me bad. :(

*does that make me more submissive? No, it makes me a really horny b*tch that has the occasional fit of bad judgment (purposely).

< Message edited by came4U -- 1/21/2011 12:17:37 AM >

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RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/21/2011 8:55:18 AM

81song

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I would have to agree with many here and a a NOPE!

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RE: Could you submit to someone you don't respect? - 1/21/2011 10:31:18 AM

hipsterkittyxo