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bondage in public - 10/3/2004 11:46:13 AM

kajari

Posts: 7
Joined: 10/2/2004
Status: offline

Master has indicated He wants to have slave in attire in public. This means cuffs,collar, leash and waist belt. Master wants to lead slave on a leash and has said slave should be proud to be displayed as Masters property. should slave have concerns? slave loves Master and dedicates every moment to Him

< Message edited by kajari -- 10/3/2004 11:54:30 AM >

Post #: 1

RE: bondage in public - 10/3/2004 1:09:55 PM

theroebabe

Posts: 3155
Joined: 7/25/2004
Status: offline

H Kajari

I guess it depends on if you care or not if people see you like that and if it would affect your standing in the community outside your home? If the answer is yes then its time for a talk with your master. If not then the only harm that i see is when people parade what we do in front of vanilla folks and children. To me there is no reason at all that children should be exposed to this.

The other side of the coin is, if you are a slave and have agreed to these rules then you will have to do it if you are told to. If it is not comfotable for you to do so then again its something you need to speak to your master about.

Good luck and please let us know how it goes.

_____________________________

Roe

People always ask me why I do these things . . .
It's because I can!

(in reply to kajari)

Post #: 2

RE: bondage in public - 10/3/2004 1:15:12 PM

Synocense

Posts: 255
Joined: 8/8/2004
Status: offline

I think its more than if you care or not whether people see you like that. It think it should also be about consideration and whether or not you are making others uncomfortable and on what level. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being proud of your status and your Master has every right to make you a clad slave and parade you. However, what is the true intention in doing this? Pure enjoyment? humiliation? Something more? IMO - Just because you want to prance around nekkie in your house doesn't mean it's the best idea, it may make family members a bit uncomfortable and is it worth that?

Syn

_____________________________

Before you speak, ask yourself..
Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?
Does it improve upon the silence?

(in reply to theroebabe)

Post #: 3

RE: bondage in public - 10/3/2004 2:14:39 PM

NoCalOwner

Posts: 241
Status: offline

I guess that all depends on context. At the Folson Street Fair, other than having pants in place of a belt, my slave was attired as you describe, but that wouldn't fly under different circumstances. In places like Las Vegas, where people are mentally prepared for deviance, I have dressed her similarly (plus shirt), and had no problems -- a few parents scowled when their kids saw us, while many other people cheered us on. But I don't try it in the small town where I work (for job security reasons), or the tiny town where I live, or in rural Utah or Alabama.

Fortunately, as a Canadian, you don't have to worry about Utah or Alabama. However, you do face a problem which we don't: homophobia. How much hostility or potential for violence might be incurred in your area is something which I couldn't even guess at. Hopefully your master will do a good job of judging such things, and not do anything likely to put you in danger.

(in reply to kajari)

Post #: 4

RE: bondage in public - 10/3/2004 7:49:49 PM

strongnsubmissiv

Posts: 197
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline

There's definitely a certain societal responsibility that comes with being adults, and discresion plays a big part. Pushing bdsm into the faces of the unwilling and/or underdeveloped i think is wrong, and by wearing bondage such as you describe outdoors in a vanilla environment is using poor judgement. Like Roe said, children need not see this and if your Master uses adult judgement, he really should know better.

This lifestyle can be terribly exciting, but losing sight on the line where fantasy and reality meet can be a dangerous thing.

sns

_____________________________

*** Strong and submissive are not contradictions ***

(in reply to NoCalOwner)

Post #: 5

RE: bondage in public - 10/3/2004 8:35:36 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
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quote:

There's definitely a certain societal responsibility that comes with being adults, and discresion plays a big part. Pushing bdsm into the faces of the unwilling and/or underdeveloped i think is wrong, and by wearing bondage such as you describe outdoors in a vanilla environment is using poor judgement. Like Roe said, children need not see this and if your Master uses adult judgement, he really should know better.

I agree 100%. I would have no problem on a leash at a fetish event, but in a vanilla public setting is in poor taste and irresponsible IMHO.

< Message edited by proudsub -- 10/3/2004 8:36:03 PM >

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to strongnsubmissiv)

Post #: 6

RE: bondage in public - 10/3/2004 8:53:24 PM

Laura

Posts: 573
Joined: 6/22/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

I think that was really well said too. I wouldn't want to be out with my nephew and have to explain why an adult is on a leash, etc. Taking it public involves more than just two people.

If he really wants you to wear fetish gear it can be hidden under clothes or camoflaged (sp) as jewellry, etc. Not sure how you would manage the leash.

_____________________________

Bait & Switch - Adult column

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 7

RE: bondage in public - 10/3/2004 9:33:33 PM

rain

Posts: 319
Joined: 4/13/2004
Status: offline

I've seen it in public, but then again, it was New York City.....

So, if you're not living there.... : )

good luck,

rain

_____________________________

Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today. - James Dean

(in reply to kajari)

Post #: 8

RE: bondage in public - 10/4/2004 4:45:08 AM

alwayzron

Posts: 234
Joined: 9/23/2004
Status: offline

When you do that, you take the consensual out of the SSC. The people you happen across may not want to see you in fetish wear, and you do not have the right to force that upon them ......

(in reply to rain)

Post #: 9

RE: bondage in public - 10/4/2004 6:15:01 AM

NoCalOwner

Posts: 241
Status: offline

The issue of kids and other vanilla people seeing us raises an interesting question..

Where I live, it's as common to see same-sex couples (and occasional larger groups) walking down Main Street hand in hand as it is hetero couples. I've always viewed this is a positive thing, and tolerance is one of the main reasons we are living (and raising our kid) where we are. So when a local kid has an unusual number of moms and/or dads, it's no big deal. When at Folsom Street this year, I noticed that some parents seem to feel more strongly about this than I do, as there was a very vanilla-looking "soccer mom" smilingly leading her two young girls through the crowd.

At what point does people seeing us as we are, in a setting where they might expect to see that, become harmful/unethical?

(in reply to strongnsubmissiv)

Post #: 10

RE: bondage in public - 10/4/2004 6:46:29 AM

subbiejenn

Posts: 631
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline

i have 2 small kids in which i do not tell them of the lifestyle i have chosen (yet) i believe they are to young to understand. i wouldn’t want them seeing a adult on a leash in public and have to explain why even so i understand and find being on a leash very exciting it is something i see as a private kink.

i think there are some things in the lifestyle that should stay private or public only at certain times (play parties, BDSM clubs etc...) This lifestyle W/we can all agree is not for everyone....

Just my thoughts *grins*

_____________________________

~Subspace is my perfect paradise vacation from busy-mind... blessed be to the Dominant who can stamp my ticket there.~

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

(in reply to kajari)

Post #: 11

RE: bondage in public - 10/4/2004 9:13:28 AM

strongnsubmissiv

Posts: 197
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NoCalOwner

The issue of kids and other vanilla people seeing us raises an interesting question..

At what point does people seeing us as we are, in a setting where they might expect to see that, become harmful/unethical?

Being accepted and understood as well as the gay community is would be an amazing thing indeed. Fundamentally though, explaining homosexuality to children in an innocent way is quite easy. "Those two people love each other very much honey." Sexuality on an adult level never comes into the conversation and usually inquisitive youths accept the explanation and make thier own conclusions..

The same scenario however with a collared, leashed, bound lifestyle couple would be almost impossible to explain without talking about sexuality on an adult level. It's interesting too, because the same explanation can be applied, but only us within the know can identify with it.

Discretion.

sns

_____________________________

*** Strong and submissive are not contradictions ***

(in reply to NoCalOwner)

Post #: 12

RE: bondage in public - 10/4/2004 12:52:14 PM

NoCalOwner

Posts: 241
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: strongnsubmissiv
The same scenario however with a collared, leashed, bound lifestyle couple would be almost impossible to explain without talking about sexuality on an adult level.

What works for me:
"Some people like to be in charge and others dislike it. They decided that the one holding the leash would be in charge of the other."

This was a lot easier for me than explaning, for example, why for one kindergartener to give another kindergartener a kiss on the cheek is something deserving of suspension or expulsion. Or why it's socially unacceptable to tell one of your friends that you love them.

_____________________________

"Find more pleasure in intelligent dissent rather than passive agreement; for if you value intelligence as you should, the former implies a deeper agreement than the latter."
-- Bertrand Russell

(in reply to strongnsubmissiv)

Post #: 13

RE: bondage in public - 10/4/2004 10:54:17 PM

Estring

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

What works for me:
"Some people like to be in charge and others dislike it. They decided that the one holding the leash would be in charge of the other."

That may work for you, but a child is not going to be content with that answer. Having raised a son, I know of what I speak
The point here though is that most parents would not appreciate having to explain this to their children. This is adult behavior, I say keep it for adults.

(in reply to NoCalOwner)

Post #: 14

RE: bondage in public - 10/5/2004 6:30:33 AM

ShadowHwk

Posts: 158
Joined: 1/5/2004
From: New York
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kajari
Master has indicated He wants to have slave in attire in public. This means cuffs,collar, leash and waist belt. Master wants to lead slave on a leash and has said slave should be proud to be displayed as Masters property. should slave have concerns? slave loves Master and dedicates every moment to Him

kajari,

As many others have mentioned, this is adult stuff, and stuff to which children shouldn't be exposed by anyone other than their parent or guardian – and only if and when said parent chooses to do so.

One thing you didn't provide in your post was some detail about the when and where. For example; if he is taking you out at night to a club where one can be reasonably sure that children will not be present - that is one thing. On the other hand if he is dressing you like that to go shopping at Walmart then maybe an open discussion about your concerns is in order.

To me it is a matter of context. Recently took my slave out for her birthday. It involved a two night stay at a reasonably nice hotel. After an evening out, upon returning to the hotel, I attached the lead to her collar and took her through the hotel lobby. Note that this around midnight – and though dressed to the 9s and in a very revealing manner – she was by no means in just a collar and cuffs. What fun! The looks from the hotel staff were priceless – as were the ones from the other adults we encountered on the way to the room. Had we, by chance, encountered children I would have pulled her close enough to me that the leash would not have been obvious.

The point is that while that behavior was acceptable at night in a hotel lobby – it would hardly be appropriate at a Chucky Cheese Pizza party for kids. It is all about context.

Just my .02

Terry

(in reply to kajari)

Post #: 15

RE: bondage in public - 10/5/2004 11:05:00 AM

NoCalOwner

Posts: 241
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Estring
Having raised a son, I know of what I speak

Yeah, I've raised some of those myself, they currently range from elementary school to mid-20s.

It's funny, all I have ever done was about the same as Shadowhawk -- gone in places where no kids should have been -- only to find that there are some adults who think that it's appropriate to have kids in a casino's bar at 4 AM, or at Folsom Street during the fair. And yet I'm being jumped on as if I'd championed giving kink fashion shows to 2nd graders, which is something I've never done, or ever would do. Just the same, I find it surprising that in other threads people vehemently assert that D/s is NOT all about sex, but in this thread it's impossible to explain a leash without getting into graphical X-rated descriptions.

I saw a snippet of something on the tube the other day where high school girls were leading some of their male classmates around by chains attached to the guys' nipple piercings and collars. And it turns out that this is fairly common. No real surprise, when I was visiting my 20 year old last weekend, the radio station he was listening to (which is listened to by most high school age kids in his area, he's listened to it since he was 10) kept advertising their BDSMish Halloween event, with a Voyeur Room and a Spanking Room, and he kept cracking up over the part about a "human petting zoo." The event is in its eighth year, so he's been hearing those ads since he was 12.

Lexington Elementary School, Lexington, Texas:
"No dog collars, leashes, or chokers are to be worn."

Frolio JHS, Abington, Massachussets:
"Chains and dog collars are not to be worn in school."

Google comes up with 113 elementary schools and 300 middle schools or junior high schools that have decided they need to ban dog collars and/or leashes in their dress codes.

Like it or not, there's nothing much that we can startle kids with. Between the media and the Internet, they're finding out everything anyway.

(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 16

RE: bondage in public - 10/5/2004 4:27:17 PM

Estring

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I guess it's The 4 R's in school now. Readin', ritin', rithmetic and rope.

(in reply to NoCalOwner)

Post #: 17

RE: bondage in public - 10/5/2004 5:17:01 PM

subbiejenn

Posts: 631
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline

*WOW* i must have lived a really sheltered life... LOL

_____________________________

~Subspace is my perfect paradise vacation from busy-mind... blessed be to the Dominant who can stamp my ticket there.~

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

(in reply to NoCalOwner)

Post #: 18

RE: bondage in public - 10/5/2004 8:04:12 PM

NoCalOwner

Posts: 241
Status: offline

This has been around for a few years, but if you've never seen it, you should. It's a Dutch TV ad for a school which teaches English. Even if you don't think that the kids in the ad reflect on our own little innocents, it's hilarious nonetheless.

Warnings: Long download via dialup (8.4MB), but worth it. Not safe for the office or around kids unless you're using earphones.

http://www.squeep.com/video/dutch.mov

_____________________________

"Find more pleasure in intelligent dissent rather than passive agreement; for if you value intelligence as you should, the former implies a deeper agreement than the latter."
-- Bertrand Russell

(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 19

RE: bondage in public - 12/1/2004 10:27:07 AM

MastersGirl

Posts: 13
Joined: 11/29/2004
Status: offline

Our lifestyle is all about consent.....as submissives, we even consent to submit to another. The general public did not consent to viewing your fetish, for lack of a better term. My Master and I have found subtle ways to display my submission in a public setting....he orders food for me when we eat out...he sometimes chooses my clothing....he sometimes forbids panties....I have a diamond necklace that only he puts on me for a public collar. These are just a few examples that will excite and please the two of you but not offend the general public. What about two metal/silver/gold cuff style bracelets that he require you to wear until he removes them? A little less conspicuous than 4 inch leather and steel cuffs with pad locks....although I love those too!

(in reply to kajari)

Post #: 20

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