question

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

question

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> question

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

question - 1/17/2011 11:46:10 PM

lonley951sub

Posts: 10
Joined: 1/16/2011
Status: offline

is a submissive allowed to have friends if he is owned

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: question - 1/17/2011 11:50:32 PM

SpiritedRadiance

Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline

It would be up to the people involved.

In my choice dynamic, I only peruse Dominants who would allow me to have friends as I saw fit. Unless those people are harmful to me.

_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

(in reply to lonley951sub)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: question - 1/17/2011 11:52:20 PM

lonley951sub

Posts: 10
Joined: 1/16/2011
Status: offline

thank you very much

(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: question - 1/17/2011 11:58:08 PM

SpiritedRadiance

Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline

Not a problem.

Just remember you have the right to have any requirements in your dynamics as you want. While some might reduce the potential partners, if its important to you to have outside friends, or unapproved visits with friends stick to it. You dont have to accept things that are unacceptable to you. Its okay to have limits, its okay to have standards, its okay to say someones incompatible.

Use common sense above all else....

_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

(in reply to lonley951sub)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: question - 1/18/2011 12:03:28 AM

lonley951sub

Posts: 10
Joined: 1/16/2011
Status: offline

so far mommy is loving i just worry she wont love me when she learns im bi

(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: question - 1/18/2011 12:23:22 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

you didnt think to tell her of this before you got into the dynamic?

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to lonley951sub)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: question - 1/18/2011 12:27:15 AM

lonley951sub

Posts: 10
Joined: 1/16/2011
Status: offline

im ashamed of it,i feel like im not normal

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: question - 1/18/2011 12:45:38 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Time for a little chat, isn't it?

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to lonley951sub)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: question - 1/18/2011 12:48:11 AM

lonley951sub

Posts: 10
Joined: 1/16/2011
Status: offline

nods

i told her on the site we talk on

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: question - 1/18/2011 1:11:57 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

being bi is not abnormal.

being less than truthful isnt either,. sadly.

by not being open about your sexual proclivities to her, you are doing both of you a serious disservice.

you are not giving her a chance to make a decision.. how submissive is that, really?

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to lonley951sub)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: question - 1/18/2011 1:14:05 AM

lonley951sub

Posts: 10
Joined: 1/16/2011
Status: offline

i guess thats true

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: question - 1/18/2011 1:14:46 AM

SexyBossyBBW

Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline

Than she knows, right?
The thing with describing yourself as bi... Does that also mean she has to find a boy for you to play with, e.g. are you male leaning by, or feel you must have both, in order to be satisfied in the relationship? M

(in reply to lonley951sub)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: question - 1/18/2011 1:16:12 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

NM

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to SexyBossyBBW)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: question - 1/18/2011 1:20:34 AM

lonley951sub

Posts: 10
Joined: 1/16/2011
Status: offline

i guess thats true

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: question - 1/18/2011 2:30:06 AM

SexyBossyBBW

Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline

quote:

Deviant, Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: online Than she knows, righ?
i told her on the site we talk on

The thing with describing yourself as bi... Does that also mean she has to find a boy for you to play with? Are you more male leaning or female leading? Do you feel you must have both, in order to be satisfied in the relationship? This has always been the conundrum, when it comes to considering somoene who is bisexual for me. Does your Domina need to require that a man join the relationship, or not (in your view)? If yes, she may not be the match for you. M

< Message edited by SexyBossyBBW -- 1/18/2011 2:35:13 AM >

(in reply to SexyBossyBBW)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: question - 1/18/2011 4:01:52 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I feel that your initial question was a bit misleading. If you're asking about platonic friends, being bi shouldn't come into it. If you're actually asking if you can have friends that have a sexual element to the relationship, that's a whole different question. That really boils down to if your Owner and yourself have agreed that sexual monogamy is a part of your dynamic.

Without knowing which you mean, there's no way for Me to offer an opinion on your question.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SexyBossyBBW)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: question - 1/18/2011 4:12:27 AM

CeriseNin

Posts: 286
Joined: 4/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lonley951sub

nods

i told her on the site we talk on

Huh? Why didn't you drop that on her in person?

(in reply to lonley951sub)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: question - 1/18/2011 6:11:51 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I feel that your initial question was a bit misleading. If you're asking about platonic friends, being bi shouldn't come into it. If you're actually asking if you can have friends that have a sexual element to the relationship, that's a whole different question. That really boils down to if your Owner and yourself have agreed that sexual monogamy is a part of your dynamic.

Without knowing which you mean, there's no way for Me to offer an opinion on your question.

What da Lady said.

OP, you seem to have serious communication issues. You got into a relationship with some woman without a discussion of what kind of relationship both of you envision. And you represented male partners as "friends" here. I'd recommend a regular talk with the woman so you're both on the same page.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LadyPact)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: question - 1/18/2011 7:05:17 AM

zero69u2

Posts: 107
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline

How can she have any trust in you whatsoever when you misrepresent yourself and break whatever monogamy with whoever you choose.
what about your boyfriend for that matter.. how does he feel about you being with this other woman..

Are you lying to your boyfriend as well as your mistress ? I do hope for his sake your practicing safe xxx relations..

Seems like you get cake all the way around from a caring mommy and expect your ice cream served up as well..

well got news for you.. things like this never end well.. dishonesty and misrepresentation always lead to painful breakups.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Profile

Post #: 19

RE: question - 1/18/2011 11:12:01 AM

LadyNTrainer

Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline

Couple of different questions here. First off, a dominant who did not allow their submissive normal, healthy social contact is much more likely to be an abuser. I'd think seriously about the health of this situation.

Second, if you're bisexual, there's a reasonable chance that your dominant will think that this is *hot* and appreciate it, or at least be cool with it even if she does want you to be monogamous. If you are dishonest about it, there is zero chance she will think that's hot, and a breach of trust like that is likely to be the death of a relationship.

If what you're saying is that you feel the need for being in a romantic/sexual/kinky relationship with more than one person at a time, that's called poly. With honesty and trust and clear communication and negotiation, it works great. My primary partner is pansexual and I'm quite delighted with that. I have a secondary who is monosexual, and it's fun to (safely) share hot bi bois and t-girls with my primary in various D/s configurations. He could have a boyfriend if he wanted one and if his boyfriend respected our primary D/s relationship. I would set the limits and oversee health and safety issues (eg, the boyfriend would need to get tested and be willing to be part of a semi-closed system).

The one thing I will not tolerate is dishonesty, having critical information held back from me, especially if it pertains to your safe sex status and my health. Almost no one will. Instant deal breaker, relationship over. If your sexual behavior puts me at increased risk and you don't tell me, you might as well have put a gun to my head and engaged me in a nonconsensual game of Russian roulette. Major, major trust breach, and grounds for instant DTMFA. Don't do this.

_____________________________

Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.

(in reply to lonley951sub)

Profile

Post #: 20