RE: Real Male Submissives vs "Do Me Submissives"

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RE: Real Male Submissives vs "Do Me Submissives" - 1/25/2011 7:09:57 AM

RCdc

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Charles.. in reply to at LEAST one of your whine-fest posts, someone posted info for Tampa area munches or such. In other words.. quit fucking cry-babying, and attend an event, or suck it up and STFU. Google is your friend. find events.
but given your propensity for WAAAH WAAAH WAAH, I think you'll FAIL as much in person as you do here.

Eekk... whadda I miss????? Is this kinda post a habit then? Darnnit...

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RE: Real Male Submissives vs "Do Me Submissives" - 1/25/2011 7:10:51 AM

GreedyTop

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yeah..

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RE: Real Male Submissives vs "Do Me Submissives" - 1/25/2011 7:22:06 AM

kalikshama

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For the record, this female submissive has been actively searching for a Dom for 5 months.

Best guesses as to what's disqualified me:
- Not in my 20s (he was in his 50s)
- Able to articulate my needs
- Too smart
- I expected sex
- Unknown. Perhaps he knew I was mentally picking out drapes

What's disqualified them:
- The supergluing a vibrator to his former slave's clit (whether or not true, ACK!)
- I expected him to show up every once in a damn while
- Bad vibes
- The domestic violence records
- The domestic violence records (another guy)
- HNG
- The wife

It's a process.

Additionally, Charles, while you often have very interesting posts, it is painful for me to read them because of your grammar. You don't want to be ruled out simply because you don't put a space after your periods, etc. For the lack of a nail, the battle was lost...

< Message edited by kalikshama -- 1/25/2011 7:27:21 AM >

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RE: Real Male Submissives vs "Do Me Submissives" - 1/25/2011 7:37:00 AM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama-
The domestic violence records
- The domestic violence records (another guy)

As a matter of interest, did you find out about these, or did the doms in question volunteer info on them?

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RE: Real Male Submissives vs "Do Me Submissives" - 1/25/2011 7:38:30 AM

LillyBoPeep

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

Best guesses as to what's disqualified me:
- Not in my 20s (he was in his 50s)
- Able to articulate my needs
- Too smart
- I expected sex
- Unknown. Perhaps he knew I was mentally picking out drapes

yeeeah i run into those, too. 18-22 seems to be the magic age; i'm 26 and that's "too old" for some on CM. haha

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RE: Real Male Submissives vs "Do Me Submissives" - 1/25/2011 7:58:21 AM

kalikshama

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama-
The domestic violence records
- The domestic violence records (another guy)

As a matter of interest, did you find out about these, or did the doms in question volunteer info on them?

They did not volunteer the info. When they started demonstrating bad tempers and boundaries (before we'd met), I looked them up in our county's Clerk of Courts database. The tap dancing the first one did when I asked him about it was unbelievable. I didn't bother following up with the second, who was former NFL, and also had violence against a guy, as well as his wife and ex wife.

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RE: Real Male Submissives vs "Do Me Submissives" - 1/25/2011 8:05:00 AM

NihilusZero

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

Granted, it would be nice if we could all cure singlehood just by believing hard enough that what we have to offer is so damn special that everyone that we want to pay attention to us should and would immediately do so.

Pffft... I only pay attention for points.

Hehe. I bet the last scoresheet is still hanging in the older archives of the PaORS forum.

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RE: Real Male Submissives vs "Do Me Submissives" - 1/25/2011 8:09:40 AM

CeriseNin

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~fast reply~

In the spirit of the thread...

Dear Mistress,
Do me, do me, do this to me, do that to me, do this other thing to me, wear these clothes while you are doing it, force me to do these other things, and by the way I expect some kinky sex acts. Here is a picture of my big hard cock for Your pleasure. I've only sent it to 6,342 women on this site so far, so it should make you feel really special that I'm sending it to you too. I won't pay you money because pros are so selfish and demanding. You have to do all this stuff to me just because You like it, and if You don't, then obviously you are not a Real Domme.

I didn't actually read your profile and I could not care less about what you are looking for or who you are as a person. I just want you to wear sexy clothes and do me.
I'm married and sneaking around so discretion is a must. I expect you to stay in your dungeon and never talk to me if you happen to see me on the street with my real friends and family.

I can't give You my phone number or my real name either. But I'm really, really submissive. In fact, I am your total sex slave. To prove it, here is another picture of my big hard cock in bondage.

If you're a Real Domme, you will write back immediately. If you don't write back, you're just a fake, so fuck you, bitch.

Submissively, Your Slave

I didn't write this and I have no idea who did, but someone posted on another site, saying they didn't know who the author was either, but it's pretty funny.

Oh damn. Sorry about the bigass font guys. I tried to edit, but it won't *take*.

Ah...fixed.

< Message edited by CeriseNin -- 1/25/2011 8:16:16 AM >

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RE: Real Male Submissives vs "Do Me Submissives" - 1/25/2011 8:09:44 AM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Charles6682

Well,lets just face it.There is cleary a discrimination against white male submissives,in particular.In and out of this lifestyle.When I read a Dommes website saying,"Thats it,I'm sick of men,all messages from males will be deleted!You real submissives can thank your male submissive friends for this".I have read more than enough Fem Domme profiles by now to notice this.There is clearly a double standard in this lifestyle when it comes to male submissive.

Yet,anytime a male submissive tries to bring up valid points like this,the "know it all" experts start looking down on this person and it dosent take long before the brown nosers to follow along.I am calling exactly as I see it.

Discrimination? Hardly. In fact, there are a number of Dominant women here who are specifically attracted to the males that you are putting in the category (white male submissives) that you say are the ones being looked down upon. While I'll firmly agree that it is a female's market, that's the nature of online. It's no different than non kink sites. On various threads, some of the articles from OKCupid say the very same thing. There's even a commercial on tv that is an E-Harmony ad that talks about the imbalance between men and women on that site. Add the kink interest on top of that, where there have always been more available males than Dominant females, it's a double whammy.

At the same time, there are absolutely male submissives who do very well here in the eyes of Dominant women. Without embarrassing anyone by using names, there are sub men who multiple Dominant women would pursue if they were local. I can promise you that, if I lived in the same city as a few of them, I'd be throwing My hat in the ring because of the impression that they have made on Me. Even if we weren't suited for a dynamic, I'd sure as heck want them as play partners or friends. (Sorry if I embarrassed anyone there, but I do have very fun thoughts about some of you gentlemen. Some of you gals, too, for that matter.)

You can call it looking down if you want, Charles, but in an online medium, your writing does count and you've had Dominant women tell you this. I honestly believe it is one of the reasons that you have difficulty. I'm not saying it to be mean, but when you repeatedly see women say that your posts are a problem due to spelling, grammar, and spacing, that's going to be an obstacle for you. I think it makes a small pool even smaller because I've read the various threads where women have commented that they do watch for such things in emails and will consider those things in a first impression. If you want to shoot yourself in your own foot on the matter, that's your business. Still, don't try to make it out to be some form of discrimination.

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RE: Real Male Submissives vs "Do Me Submissives" - 1/25/2011 8:16:18 AM

LadyConstanze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Charles6682

Well,lets just face it.There is cleary a discrimination against white male submissives,in particular.In and out of this lifestyle.

OK, do you think any other skin colour has it easier?
What does it matter if it is out of this lifestyle? I mean would you walk around and tell everybody that you're submissive? That is a bit odd, because I'm pretty sure that's forcing TMI on people.

quote:

When I read a Dommes website saying,"Thats it,I'm sick of men,all messages from males will be deleted!You real submissives can thank your male submissive friends for this".I have read more than enough Fem Domme profiles by now to notice this.There is clearly a double standard in this lifestyle when it comes to male submissive.

I haven't noticed this, but then I don't look all that much at profiles, but do you think your chances would be much better if they would have found their ideal submissive and wouldn't be looking anymore? Or even if they would still be looking, could there be other obstacles? Like that there would be no chemistry, that she wouldn't be interested in what your kinks are, that she simply might not be attracted to you, that she would be outside of your location...

Where is the double standard? I mean do you want to have equality in submission? How's that going to work?

quote:

Yet,anytime a male submissive tries to bring up valid points like this,the "know it all" experts start looking down on this person and it dosent take long before the brown nosers to follow along.I am calling exactly as I see it.

Where are your valid points?

Now if your dynamic doesn't work for me, do I have to pretend it does and be submissive and service you or else I am a "know it all"?

Nobody looked down on you for being submissive, but hey not everything works for everybody, your dynamic might simply not work for everybody, it's called being incompatible, happens as much in vanilla dating as it happens in BDSM. It's just life, deal with it, complaining about it isn't calling it as you see it, it just appears whiny.

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RE: Real Male Submissives vs "Do Me Submissives" - 1/25/2011 8:19:55 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

Granted, it would be nice if we could all cure singlehood just by believing hard enough that what we have to offer is so damn special that everyone that we want to pay attention to us should and would immediately do so.

Pffft... I only pay attention for points.

Hehe. I bet the last scoresheet is still hanging in the older archives of the PaORS forum.

Probably is... if you are back for a bit it might be a good idea to dust off the thread...

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RE: Real Male Submissives vs "Do Me Submissives" - 1/25/2011 8:21:43 AM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
Charles.. in reply to at LEAST one of your whine-fest posts, someone posted info for Tampa area munches or such. In other words.. quit fucking cry-babying, and attend an event, or suck it up and STFU. Google is your friend. find events.
but given your propensity for WAAAH WAAAH WAAH, I think you'll FAIL as much in person as you do here.

Harsh.

But fair.

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RE: Real Male Submissives vs "Do Me Submissives" - 1/25/2011 9:05:53 AM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

They did not volunteer the info. When they started demonstrating bad tempers and boundaries (before we'd met), I looked them up in our county's Clerk of Courts database.

Thanks. It's apparently a lot easier to find out records of criminal activities your side of the pond.

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RE: Real Male Submissives vs "Do Me Submissives" - 1/25/2011 9:29:02 AM

LadyNTrainer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Charles6682
Well,lets just face it.There is cleary a discrimination against white male submissives,in particular.

Are you saying that femdoms prefer black male submissives, or Asian male submissives? I don't think that's really a defensible position.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero
If you are measuring your dissatisfaction by the illogical, emotional reactions that certain dominant women express because they get pissed off, you're going to see things get a lot worse before they get better.

Right, because it's totally illogical to *walk the fuck away* if greater than 95% of the responses you get from a site are not only not what you want, but actively unpleasant.

If you block all males from emailing you, then pretty much all you have left is pleasant social chitchat from the boards. Which works just fine for a lot of us. The harsh reality is that if you have a femdom profile on this site you *will* be barraged with shit. Taking measures to stop being hit by a massive shitstorm because it's really not what you want from a site is not illogical and it doesn't even have to be emotional; it just makes good sense.

And it's a shame that the most effective shit barricades also block the tiny percentage of male responses that also happen to be genuinely friendly and nice. But after you've hit your absolute maximum tolerance level for having shit constantly thrown at you and you really, really don't want any more, it's a price many of us consider worth paying.

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RE: Real Male Submissives vs "Do Me Submissives" - 1/25/2011 9:35:44 AM

NihilusZero

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From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero
If you are measuring your dissatisfaction by the illogical, emotional reactions that certain dominant women express because they get pissed off, you're going to see things get a lot worse before they get better.

Right, because it's totally illogical to *walk the fuck away* if greater than 95% of the responses you get from a site are not only not what you want, but actively unpleasant.

The OP didn't describe dominant women who "walk the fuck away". He described women who whine (much in the same way he is) about being consisntently approached and then adopt some silly "well, screw them all!" reaction to the phenomenon...presumably because they were confused about how humans can typically act both irl and online.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

If you block all males from emailing you, then pretty much all you have left is pleasant social chitchat from the boards. Which works just fine for a lot of us. The harsh reality is that if you have a femdom profile on this site you *will* be barraged with shit. Taking measures to stop being hit by a massive shitstorm because it's really not what you want from a site is not illogical and it doesn't even have to be emotional; it just makes good sense.

Then there'd be no need for said female dominant to make a big public brouhaha about it, such as "Thats it,I'm sick of men,all messages from males will be deleted!You real submissives can thank your male submissive friends for this"

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

And it's a shame that the most effective shit barricades also block the tiny percentage of male responses that also happen to be genuinely friendly and nice. But after you've hit your absolute maximum tolerance level for having shit constantly thrown at you and you really, really don't want any more, it's a price many of us consider worth paying.

Anyone is perfectly free to throw the baby out with the bathwater should they so choose to, true.

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 1/25/2011 9:42:10 AM >

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RE: Real Male Submissives vs "Do Me Submissives" - 1/25/2011 10:02:28 AM

LadyNTrainer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero
The OP didn't describe dominant women who "walk the fuck away". He described women who whine (much in the same way he is) about being consisntently approached and then adopt some silly "well, screw them all!" reaction to the phenomenon...presumably because they were confused about how humans act both irl and online.

I don't agree that it's silly. I think it's quite understandable, and so does everyone I know who has actually had the experience of reading the mail on a nice, friendly femdom profile. Including the men who have run the experiment of putting one up. If you put yourself out there to try to make a human connection, and what you consistently get is sexual aggression that totally ignores you as a human being, it feels like shit. It also feels incredibly isolating and invalidating, like you're not even being viewed as human. If you aren't at least strongly tempted respond to a long barrage of that with a hearty "screw you, I'm not taking any more of this shit," then maybe you're not human. :/

quote:

Then there'd be no need for said female dominant to make a big public brouhaha about it, such as "Thats it,I'm sick of men,all messages from males will be deleted!You real submissives can thank your male submissive friends for this"

Femdoms are human first and foremost. There are always more mature responses when other people have consistently been immature and disgusting, but if people were always perfectly mature in their responses we'd never go to war. Are you saying that it's not okay for someone who has been subjected to a whole lot of seriously ugly shit to get angry about it?

quote:

Anyone is perfectly free to throw the baby out with the bathwater should they so choose to, true.

And sometimes the bathwater is basically radioactive and the baby isn't salvageable, or you don't think there's a baby in there in anyway. It's a pretty legitimate response on a site like this one.

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RE: Real Male Submissives vs "Do Me Submissives" - 1/25/2011 10:16:25 AM

RCdc

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer
I don't agree that it's silly. I think it's quite understandable, and so does everyone I know who has actually had the experience of reading the mail on a nice, friendly femdom profile. Including the men who have run the experiment of putting one up. If you put yourself out there to try to make a human connection, and what you consistently get is sexual aggression that totally ignores you as a human being, it feels like shit. It also feels incredibly isolating and invalidating, like you're not even being viewed as human. If you aren't at least strongly tempted respond to a long barrage of that with a hearty "screw you, I'm not taking any more of this shit," then maybe you're not human. :/

While I can understand what you are saying on this... the whole feeling like shit thing is surely something you allow yourself to feel? Whilst I wouldn't attempt the whole fake profile malarkey, I am female and I have had a single profile on here before I met Master and even though I am not dominant, I have had the occasion to receive such types of mail not only from male dominants, but submissive males and even females and honestly, I just do not get what all the fuss is about. It's simply, bin and carry on. Why allow some external nobody make you feel like shit?

Taking Ds out of the equation even... as a woman (and I don't want to sound all PC and feminist here) the chances you come across someone who ignores the fact that your a human being is incredibly high and happens a lot! I could never in a million years react by doing something that could and would mean I lose out... nor sink to the level of such a person... to me that would signal a lack of control... and isn't being in control what it is about for many people? What is so inhuman about not wanting someone to be in control of making you feel shit? Getting angry is one thing, but taking it out on an entire minority at the risk of being alone and bitter when you don't actually want to be? Really?

< Message edited by RCdc -- 1/25/2011 10:17:22 AM >

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RE: Real Male Submissives vs "Do Me Submissives" - 1/25/2011 10:17:43 AM

sexyred1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
Charles.. in reply to at LEAST one of your whine-fest posts, someone posted info for Tampa area munches or such. In other words.. quit fucking cry-babying, and attend an event, or suck it up and STFU. Google is your friend. find events.
but given your propensity for WAAAH WAAAH WAAH, I think you'll FAIL as much in person as you do here.

Harsh.

But fair.

I don't think she was harsh. In fact, that type of response should be standard fare when reading the constant whining threads about how people cannot meet anyone.

It is hard for anyone to find a compatible partner. Deal with yourself, look at how you project yourself, have no expectations of online OR offline and try to live life with passion, gusto and spirit.

That would mean you MIGHT, just MIGHT attract someone you can work with.

Trying to point out how others live their kink wrongly, only serves to show how frustrated you are and how weak your own self esteem is.

I have no doubt that some forum savior might disagree with me, but ask me if I care.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 1/25/2011 10:19:16 AM >

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RE: Real Male Submissives vs "Do Me Submissives" - 1/25/2011 10:18:14 AM

81song

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I saw this heading as to the subject and was thinking oh hell. It opens a can of worms what is real or not. On the other hand there are many subs that do come with a list of do me things which I think is topping from the bottom.

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RE: Real Male Submissives vs "Do Me Submissives" - 1/25/2011 10:19:13 AM

RCdc

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quote:

ORIGINAL: 81song

I saw this heading as to the subject and was thinking oh hell. It opens a can of worms what is real or not. On the other hand there are many subs that do come with a list of do me things which I think is topping from the bottom.

But is that always such a bad thing?

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