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Meeting a Dominant - 1/27/2011 2:52:59 AM   
martina1955


Posts: 9
Joined: 5/21/2008
Status: offline 		I'm a c/d with very limited experience, I will be meeting with a Dominant male this weekend. I am straight acting and wish to hear some advice on how I should act with this Dominant. What questions should I ask. We will be meeting at a fast food restaurant. Any advice would be appreciated.
Thank You
Martina
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 1/27/2011 3:46:28 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Show manners.

Don't play on a first meet. (Although I've broken that one myself.)

You have to walk the fine line between putting your best foot forward and letting him know what you're really like. At the same time, you have to be sizing him up as a possible partner.

In other words, it's almost like a vanilla first date.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to martina1955)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 1/27/2011 5:10:00 AM   
kdsusa7894


Posts: 193
Joined: 12/19/2010
Status: offline 		What DarkSteven said and adding, just be yourself.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val To Aqua- Thanks!
Seduce my mind and you can have my body, find my soul and I'm yours forever...

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 1/27/2011 12:04:51 PM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline 		Be yourself! Be polite and mannerly. Be someone you would be proud to be with if you were him. There aren't any tests you have to pass being a submissive, you aren't anyone's submissive at this point. The two of you are just checking each other out for compatibility so let him see what you are like.

(in reply to martina1955)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 1/27/2011 12:09:25 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		At 53 years old, you already know how to present yourself when meeting people in real life, right?

Do the same thing you would do meeting anyone, be courteous, civil and yourself.

(in reply to Killerangel)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 1/27/2011 7:11:35 PM   
StrongSpirit


Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with the 'act normally', 'be yourself', and 'don't play' advice

I will add one more thing to what everyone else said:

This is an interview for a submissive relationship - so don't be arrogant.

I don't care how many other issues you have, this is not the place to talk about them. No complaining about past relationships. No demands - you can make it clear what you need without acting demanding. Example "I can't take a caning" or "I've been caned before but never again." are both far better than saying "I don't do caning'.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 1/27/2011 8:57:42 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

At 53 years old, you already know how to present yourself when meeting people in real life, right?

Do the same thing you would do meeting anyone, be courteous, civil and yourself.


spot on.

*and there should be a 'like' button like on facecrap in here.


_____________________________

It hurts.....that you call me a masochist


(in reply to StrongSpirit)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 1/28/2011 10:11:22 AM   
XenoMaster


Posts: 40
Joined: 1/24/2011
Status: offline 		Wear a diaper, swim fins, and a collar and leash to the meeting to show them you're serious about the lifestyle.

When you walk in everyone will stare at you.  Hand him the leash so everyone can see.

He will either pretend not to know you (flake), beat you up for doing this (sadist dom), break down crying (secretly a sub), or quietly head for the door avoiding you on the way (smart dom).

Now you know what kind of dom he is.  Good luck.

/sarcasm

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 1/28/2011 4:48:23 PM   
salemartist


Posts: 195
Joined: 12/17/2010
From: Salem
Status: offline 		dont order the ribs, never a good idea on the first date.

(in reply to XenoMaster)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 1/29/2011 1:06:56 PM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		Just be...you.

Serve Her whilst you remember *serving is an honor*

My first experience...

`bout pissed my pants...

(in reply to martina1955)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 1/30/2011 4:37:40 PM   
martina1955


Posts: 9
Joined: 5/21/2008
Status: offline 		Thanks for all the great suggestions, I will just be myself

(in reply to ThundersCry)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 1/30/2011 4:47:16 PM   
subangi


Posts: 544
Joined: 5/11/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: salemartist

dont order the ribs, never a good idea on the first date.
But, Salemartist,  next to seafood, ribs are my favorite!

(in reply to salemartist)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 1/30/2011 5:55:40 PM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: martina1955

Thanks for all the great suggestions, I will just be myself


So how did it go?

(in reply to martina1955)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 1/30/2011 9:23:40 PM   
subdreamz


Posts: 15
Joined: 9/19/2008
Status: offline 		Why??? was i absorbed in the journals when i should have been reading the message board???? I sooooo effed up. no disrespect intended.

(in reply to Killerangel)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 1/31/2011 1:37:34 AM   
martina1955


Posts: 9
Joined: 5/21/2008
Status: offline 		Update on my meeting with a Dominant Male............Our meeting went ok, he did not seem to be the Dominant type, he seemed to be very unsure of himself. He said he wanted to take 2-3 steps backwards and re-think the situations. I'm glad for that he just did not seem like the type I could submit to.
Thanks for all the suggestion

(in reply to subdreamz)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 1/31/2011 5:31:38 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		Nice that you came back to fill us in, sorry it didnt work out. Maybe it was good that you got the experience so you'll feel more confident next time!

(in reply to martina1955)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 1/31/2011 1:59:08 PM   
martina1955


Posts: 9
Joined: 5/21/2008
Status: offline 		Well, he was not quite what I was looking for in a Dominant, I not really sure what I'm looking for in a Dom, but when I meet the right Dom I will know. I could not have submitted to the Dom I met with.

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 1/31/2011 3:50:38 PM   
kdsusa7894


Posts: 193
Joined: 12/19/2010
Status: offline 		Thanks for updating, use the experience that you gained for the next first meeting you have and good for you for recognizing the fact he wasn't for you. Good Luck!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val To Aqua- Thanks!
Seduce my mind and you can have my body, find my soul and I'm yours forever...

(in reply to martina1955)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 2/8/2011 6:55:56 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Op to bad on your meeting. Some of the women on here could learn from your experience. Don't sweat the small stuff there are plenty of Doms out there. You seem to have the right attitude.

(in reply to kdsusa7894)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Meeting a Dominant - 2/8/2011 8:32:13 AM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: martina1955

Well, he was not quite what I was looking for in a Dominant, I not really sure what I'm looking for in a Dom, but when I meet the right Dom I will know. I could not have submitted to the Dom I met with.


Have you ever considered making a list of what you most need in a relationship so that you are really sure what you are looking for in a Dominant? Just a thought.

heartfelt

_____________________________

Life is an exciting business, and most exciting when it is lived for others.

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.

Life is either a great adventure or nothing.

Helen Keller

50 NZ points

(in reply to martina1955)
Profile   Post #: 20
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