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RE: Thanks for the permission - 1/31/2011 4:14:26 AM   
Sundowner


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Joined: 3/11/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

<
<

So, let's talk about dynamics where the submissive is giving permission to the Dominant.  Thoughts?



I'm with the "submissives give permission" group.

Fundamentally (in most CM relationships at least, as opposed to "real" slavery) a submissive can always walk away from the relationship. As can a dominant.

So ultimately both parties have complete freedom of choice and thus logically everything a dominant decides only happens with the implicit "permission" of the submissive.

It would of course be possible for a dominant physically to restrain and gag a submissive and then do something unacceptable - no permission given - but then for the submissive once released to walk away - permission withdrawn.

So every submissive in a "no limits" relationship is only at risk of a one-time inability to safeword (and that only in a physically restrained situation). If the dominant fucks up in any way and gets it wrong - wrong by the submissive's standards - the submissive can always safeword by walking away.

As so many have said, therefore, in our free societies a dominant's control only exists with the submissive's consent. QED.

But that's a strategic decision, and what fun it can be for the submissive to give away all the tactical decisions.

--------------------------------------------

The more I think about this the more I feel that a D/S relationship is no different fundamentally from an employer/employee relationship or a diner/waiter relationship or my own business (where we seek to provide an excellent and faithful service to our clients). In each case one party is willingly submitting to serve another and obey their instructions - but only so long as it suits them.

And just as most employees reserve the ability to resign, or a waiter to spit in the soup, or my company to tell a client that we resign their account, so a submissive can always walk away.

How does this work in those marriages where the vows went along the lines of "I promise to obey"? Is the couple fundamentally in a D/S relationship?


PS

quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc
In the beginning, I was SSC... then we were Rack... now we are neither.


Hi beautiful - I'm new to all this - what's "Rack"? Surely that nice man didn't tie you down and stretch you till you yelped?            




(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Thanks for the permission - 1/31/2011 4:18:53 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner

Hi beautiful - I'm new to all this - what's "Rack"?


Risk Aware Consensual Kink.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Risk-aware_consensual_kink

(in reply to Sundowner)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Thanks for the permission - 1/31/2011 4:41:02 AM   
Sundowner


Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline
ty Rapier; and the wiki link helps too.

And ouch - the stuff one has to know and worry about just to keep one's D/S licence valid <sighs>





(in reply to RapierFugue)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Thanks for the permission - 1/31/2011 4:48:55 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner

ty Rapier; and the wiki link helps too.

And ouch - the stuff one has to know and worry about just to keep one's D/S licence valid <sighs>

Not a problem, HTH as always. And I didn't know about the RACK thing until recently, when it came up in off-line conversation with someone, when I suggested that SSC didn't really encompass my attitude to BDSM, and she said "oh you're more RACK then", and explained.

I wouldn't "worry" about any of it; the more time I spend around here the more I realise that the ones who profess most to be "experts" are the ones least likely to know jack-shit about the realities of an M/s or even D/s dynamic; LadyPact (as just one example) is one of the small band who actually seem to know WTF they're on about, and the ones who know tend to quietly inform, rather than proclaim their "rightness" from the rooftops.

Just do what you do in as informed a way as you can, apply commonsense (a quality in sadly short supply these days), ensure no-one gets killed, maimed or terminally freaked-out, and have fun. Fuck the BDSM thought-police; fuck em in their piggy little faces ;)

(in reply to Sundowner)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Thanks for the permission - 1/31/2011 4:53:46 AM   
Sundowner


Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue


quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner

ty Rapier; and the wiki link helps too.

And ouch - the stuff one has to know and worry about just to keep one's D/S licence valid <sighs>

Not a problem, HTH as always. And I didn't know about the RACK thing until recently, when it came up in off-line conversation with someone, when I suggested that SSC didn't really encompass my attitude to BDSM, and she said "oh you're more RACK then", and explained.

I wouldn't "worry" about any of it; the more time I spend around here the more I realise that the ones who profess most to be "experts" are the ones least likely to know jack-shit about the realities of an M/s or even D/s dynamic; LadyPact (as just one example) is one of the small band who actually seem to know WTF they're on about, and the ones who know tend to quietly inform, rather than proclaim their "rightness" from the rooftops.

Just do what you do in as informed a way as you can, apply commonsense (a quality in sadly short supply these days), ensure no-one gets killed, maimed or terminally freaked-out, and have fun. Fuck the BDSM thought-police; fuck em in their piggy little faces ;)



Rapier!

For shame! You mustn't say things like that or they'll take your CM card away.   





(in reply to RapierFugue)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Thanks for the permission - 1/31/2011 4:55:45 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*tacklehugs the toad*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Sundowner)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Thanks for the permission - 1/31/2011 4:56:39 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner

Rapier!

For shame! You mustn't say things like that or they'll take your CM card away.


*chortle*

Let me draw you a diagram:

<ME> <----------------- 100 miles -----------------> <SOMEONE WHO GIVES A FUCK WHAT IDIOTS THINK>

(not necessarily to scale)

(in reply to Sundowner)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Thanks for the permission - 1/31/2011 5:13:21 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

Hi beautiful - I'm new to all this - what's "Rack"? Surely that nice man didn't tie you down and stretch you till you yelped?


Dearest Mr SD

You have heard my jokes... wouldn't you?

Missing you terribly and sending copious amount's of love xxxxx

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Sundowner)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Thanks for the permission - 1/31/2011 5:16:22 AM   
Sundowner


Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc

quote:

Hi beautiful - I'm new to all this - what's "Rack"? Surely that nice man didn't tie you down and stretch you till you yelped?


Dearest Mr SD

You have heard my jokes... wouldn't you?

Missing you terribly and sending copious amount's of love xxxxx


<grins at the pleasing lady>

[The close observer might notice that, lost in admiration, the strange gentleman is actually drooling in a rather unattractive way as he ogles the beautiful girl]





(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Thanks for the permission - 1/31/2011 5:17:37 AM   
Sundowner


Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue

<ME> <----------------- 100 miles -----------------> <SOMEONE WHO GIVES A FUCK WHAT IDIOTS THINK>



I think I may be in love with you.




(in reply to RapierFugue)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Thanks for the permission - 1/31/2011 5:18:25 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue
I wouldn't "worry" about any of it;



And that's the thing. When you don't worry about it... all the acronyms in the world do not matter.
Hope you had a good weekend Mr RF x


_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to RapierFugue)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Thanks for the permission - 1/31/2011 5:18:56 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner

quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue

<ME> <----------------- 100 miles -----------------> <SOMEONE WHO GIVES A FUCK WHAT IDIOTS THINK>



I think I may be in love with you.


There is no upper limit to my tolerance for adulation, so fill yer boots.

(in reply to Sundowner)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Thanks for the permission - 1/31/2011 5:20:49 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner

quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue

<ME> <----------------- 100 miles -----------------> <SOMEONE WHO GIVES A FUCK WHAT IDIOTS THINK>



I think I may be in love with you.





Oh my.... Mr SD and Mr RF?.... now that's a fantasy I have in my head that is just mindblowing....*fans self (With Master added, that just puts a whole new twist of me being in a threesome... )

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Sundowner)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Thanks for the permission - 1/31/2011 5:21:35 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc
Hope you had a good weekend Mr RF x


<shrug> Not bad. Sort of middling. But not bad, thank you for enquiring ;)

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Thanks for the permission - 1/31/2011 5:22:41 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc
Oh my.... Mr SD and Mr RF?.... now that's a fantasy I have in my head that is just mindblowing....*fans self (With Master added, that just puts a whole new twist of me being in a threesome... )


<Woody Allen Mode>

"I never get naked in front of a man of my own gender".

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Thanks for the permission - 1/31/2011 5:23:41 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chulain

Because the way people claim they are behaving is not how people work. Are you seriously suggesting that there are hordes of dominants out there risking prosecution just to get there rocks off? I'm sure there are some who are breaking the law, but to read some of the claims here (and other places), you'd think it's the norm. I guarantee you, it is not the norm. Most people do not want to take a chance on being prosecuted for (aggravated) sexual battery, false imprisonment, kidnapping, etc.



I think it depends where we are talking about. In the UK it is illegal to consent to pain unless your a boxer or wrestler.
If the cops walked into a scene were the woman was tied up and taking a flogging, the first thing the police would do is arrest the person who administered the ropes and the flogging. If the woman then told the police that she had consented to this she could be arrested. Its more than likely that the police would turn a blind eye but they do have the right to press charges against both of them if they so wish.
A spanking that leaves marks for 24 hours is considered assault but both parties are liable to prosecution if it ever came to court.

< Message edited by allthatjaz -- 1/31/2011 5:24:22 AM >

_____________________________

S&M (Steve and Maria) persona libre de convencionalismos


Fan of edgeplay.co.uk

(in reply to Chulain)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Thanks for the permission - 1/31/2011 5:24:53 AM   
Sundowner


Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc

Oh my.... Mr SD and Mr RF?.... now that's a fantasy I have in my head that is just mindblowing....*fans self (With Master added, that just puts a whole new twist of me being in a threesome... )


Fantasies and threesomes indeed!

Go and stand in the naughty corner young lady. And think pure thoughts.




(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Thanks for the permission - 1/31/2011 5:24:57 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*ponders RF and SD and RC in a clinch*

perfect wankfodder...*sigh*

SD.. chk yer mail, you odiferous snail.. *smooch*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to RapierFugue)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Thanks for the permission - 1/31/2011 5:25:11 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue


quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc
Oh my.... Mr SD and Mr RF?.... now that's a fantasy I have in my head that is just mindblowing....*fans self (With Master added, that just puts a whole new twist of me being in a threesome... )


<Woody Allen Mode>

"I never get naked in front of a man of my own gender".


It's ok Mr RF... you wouldn't have to... *wiggles eyebrows

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to RapierFugue)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Thanks for the permission - 1/31/2011 5:26:18 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner
Fantasies and threesomes indeed!

Go and stand in the naughty corner young lady. And think pure thoughts.


For you Mr SD, anything... and not a pout in sight.


_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Sundowner)
Profile   Post #: 100
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