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hausboy -> RE: Would mental illness bar a submissive from being picked? (1/30/2011 11:55:57 AM)
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For me, there's some gray areas here. There are those with truly profound mental illness-- disorders and diseases which completely inhibit their ability to live normal and healthy lives--and for me, I need to be with someone who is capable and able to live a healthy life, and keep up with mine. If their illness prevents them from doing so, then I would not get involved with them, as we would not be a compatible match in other aspects of our relationship. I've had plenty of experiences with people who have active addictions, active mental illness and don't get treated--and they cannot be a part of my life unless they can get their disease under control/managed.
But I feel compelled to say this here-- many do suffer from a variety of what the textbooks would call "mental illness" but effective treatment, through medication and/or behavioral therapy give them a chance to live a healthy life, albeit they may have more challenges than others. I know lots of people with anxiety disorders--you'd never know it--because they are effectively managed.
I battled depression, anxiety and addiction most of life, however I lead a very healthy, busy and active life--I hold down an extremely responsible and important job that places the lives of others in my hands, maintain a house, friends, family-- am I mentally ill? No. Have I been diagnosed with mental illness? Technically, yes. I am not disabled, do not consider myself sick or ill (because I'm not) and would argue that through extensive therapy and self-awareness of the "extra" challenges that I have to address/deal with, I am far healthier in how I respond to situations and deal with people than many of those who do NOT carry the stigma of a mental illness.
We would jump all over someone if they said: "I wouldn't date someone in a wheelchair or someone who had cancer." But yet it is perfectly acceptable to say "I won't date someone if they have a mental illness diagnosis." There are many, many degrees of illness and ability to function. The OP makes far too sweeping a statement.
A close friend's partner has Asperger's. She is kind, loving and a wonderful partner. Due to her illness. she must work from home, as an office is too stressful on her. She has more challenges than other people in a lot of areas in her life, but she is lucky to have a partner who sees the wonderful woman she is, and not "a diagnosis of a mentally ill person." My brother's wife has anxiety and is bi-polar. She is still a loving wife and mother, runs her own business, has a huge circle of friends and is busier than anyone else I know. On paper? She has a mental illness. That doesn't stop her from living and enjoying life, and enriching the lives of others.
edited correction--
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