RE: Would mental illness bar a submissive from being picked?

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Rule -> RE: Would mental illness bar a submissive from being picked? (1/30/2011 12:36:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MaxsGirl Because mental illness isn't like the flu or an infection. It isn't something you acquire because of a germ. The brain cannot be infected? [:-] quote: ORIGINAL: MaxsGirl You can no more grow back the missing (or malfunctioning) part of someone's brain chemistry than you can re-grow an amputated limb. Think of psychiatric medication as a prosthetic - it can't truly replace what is missing, it can only enable the patient to function somewhat normally. So in your opinion frogs ought to be outfitted with a prosthetic tail to replace the one they had as a tadpole?

DesFIP -> RE: Would mental illness bar a submissive from being picked? (1/30/2011 12:38:38 PM)
I've had periods of depression, so has he. His tend to be more S.A.D. than not, in the past he's been on SSRIs for a winter, this year he's on D III which seems to be effective. For me, a mood disorder is no different than any other illness. Just as I wouldn't be with a diabetic who wouldn't take the medication and wouldn't watch their diet, I wouldn't be with someone who wasn't taking care of their emotional disorder. And I wouldn't expect him to be with me if I didn't go for help when I needed. I draw the line at personality disorders though. Just as I don't want a dominant in a wheel chair or one with red hair. Pyro, there are new medications and other treatments available. Are you seeing a psychiatrist who specializes in depression or a psychopharmacologist? If not, do so. There is no reason to suffer.

MaxsGirl -> RE: Would mental illness bar a submissive from being picked? (1/30/2011 12:49:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rule The brain cannot be infected? [:-] Of course it can, but a physical infection and mental illness are two entirely different issues. quote: So in your opinion frogs ought to be outfitted with a prosthetic tail to replace the one they had as a tadpole? No, and I honestly have no idea what you're saying here. What on earth do tadpoles have to do with anything?

lizi -> RE: Would mental illness bar a submissive from being picked? (1/30/2011 12:57:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RapierFugue I met a guy while I was working Mental Health units who sort of changed my world view. Until then I thought "well I'm sane, and there's no way I ever wouldn't be" ... but his case fascinated me. He'd been a normal man, with a normal life; wife (whom he loved very much, and she him), 2 beautiful daughters, no history of mental illness in his family, no signs of it in him. One night, running the girls home from some sort of sports practice for the team they played for, there was a car crash, and his wife and both daughters were killed. On hearing the news, he went instantly, fundamentally and irrevocably insane. With meds and treatment he was stabilised, but at the point I knew him, some 7 years later, he was still institutionalised, and most likely would be for the rest of his life. He wasn't violent (most of the time) he wasn't unpleasant (far from it) and he wasn't “I’m crazy!” insane ... he was just so profoundly depressed and confused – a part of his psyche had sort of “fused” into a fugue state. If anyone harbours thoughts of “it couldn't happen to me!” or “I'm stronger than that!”; I’m here to say it could, and you may or may not be. Let’s hope no-one ever has to find out. Thank you for posting this. My story has similarities. I never had any type of mental illness, it wasn't in my family either. I had a normal childhood. About 19 years ago my oldest son fell down and hit his head on some concrete, he had a CAT scan to look for various problems since he blacked out. The scan revealed no injury from the accident but the Dr was concerned about a brain abnormality that he saw on the scan. They didnt know what it was, after further MRI's the most likely explanation was that he had a brain tumor and it resembled a fast growing type while also being in an area of his brain that would have rendered it inoperable. I literally had a healthy child one moment and the next I was being told that the most likely scenario was that I had 6 months to one year left with my son before he died of severe brain trauma. I went nuts. My depression was instantaneous and severe. I lost a part of myself that day that I've never gotten back. We started the round of specialists but there was never really any hope in anything that any of them said. My son ended up not having a brain tumor, but there was never really an explanation for what the hell was/is in his brain or why it is there. I don't blame anyone for telling me what they did, to the best of their knowledge they told me what they knew at the time. I am a strong woman, I have done a lot in my life, I could not handle losing my son. Once my own health disintegrated in such a sudden way it never came back to normal again. There is so much ambiguity and guessing in the area of mental health, there is very little hard information and much speculation. Who knows why my body chemistry went on the blink as a result of serious mental trauma but it did and it's never been quite the same again. We're all entitled to our preferences. I wouldn't castigate anyone here for not wanting a partner with an illness, I won't even specify mental or physical. When I was actively looking for a partner I ran into a few men with ED. It's not something I'd willingly want to deal with, that's my preference. Which is why I believe that we should each get our lives in order and try to be happy for ourselves first. Shit happens, we can't control it, how it plays out is anyone's guess. I try not to be too judgemental on others because it might be me next time. I aquired a mental illness through a horrible misdiagnosis, ok, that's the breaks. All I can do is try to do the best I can in taking care of myself and my family and offer others a bit of acceptance when I think it's the fair thing to do.

Rule -> RE: Would mental illness bar a submissive from being picked? (1/30/2011 1:13:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MaxsGirl Of course it can, but a physical infection and mental illness are two entirely different issues. You think that a physical infection of the brain cannot cause and perpetuate a mental illness? quote: ORIGINAL: MaxsGirl I honestly have no idea what you're saying here. What on earth do tadpoles have to do with anything? Since you are 'stumped' [;)], I will elucidate. You were talking about loss of mental functionality as if it in all cases is an illness. However, in some cases - as for example in frogs - the loss of functionality is not an illness, but merely the result of a natural process. It is my hypothesis that in some people the same is true as regards loss of specific mental functionality: in such specific people it is not an illness, even though it is perceived as such by others and perchance even by themselves.

MaxsGirl -> RE: Would mental illness bar a submissive from being picked? (1/30/2011 1:34:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rule You think that a physical infection of the brain cannot cause and perpetuate a mental illness? Not really, no. An infection could cause brain damage, but that's a whole separate issue. quote: Since you are 'stumped' [;)], I will elucidate. You were talking about loss of mental functionality as if it in all cases is an illness. However, in some cases - as for example in frogs - the loss of functionality is not an illness, but merely the result of a natural process. It is my hypothesis that in some people the same is true as regards loss of specific mental functionality: in such specific people it is not an illness, even though it is perceived as such by others and perchance even by themselves. You mistake the definition of mental illness. Being a little bit odd or having unusual personality quirks does not make you mentally ill. A condition becomes mental illness when the person's ability to function is compromised. If the loss of functionality is not so severe as to affect functionality, or if the function affected is one that does not affect or lower the person's quality of life, that person is not mentally ill. If, however, the person's functionality is affected and/or their quality of life is lowered, then they are mentally ill and need to be treated whether they believe they need to be or not. Unfortunately the inability to determine whether treatment is necessary is also a hallmark of mental illness. The mentally ill often think they are fine, when if fact they just don't recognize the difference between mental health and suffering.

RapierFugue -> RE: Would mental illness bar a submissive from being picked? (1/30/2011 1:58:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rule It is my hypothesis that in some people the same is true as regards loss of specific mental functionality: in such specific people it is not an illness, even though it is perceived as such by others and perchance even by themselves. Your hypothesis is incorrect, assuming no other, external factors, like infection or disease.

Rule -> RE: Would mental illness bar a submissive from being picked? (1/30/2011 2:08:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RapierFugue Your hypothesis is incorrect, assuming no other, external factors, like infection or disease. quote: ORIGINAL: MaxsGirl An infection could cause brain damage, but that's a whole separate issue. You two ought to consult with each other in order to get your story straight before you post.

RapierFugue -> RE: Would mental illness bar a submissive from being picked? (1/30/2011 2:10:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lizi I went nuts. My depression was instantaneous and severe. I lost a part of myself that day that I've never gotten back. We started the round of specialists but there was never really any hope in anything that any of them said. My son ended up not having a brain tumor, but there was never really an explanation for what the hell was/is in his brain or why it is there. I don't blame anyone for telling me what they did, to the best of their knowledge they told me what they knew at the time. I am a strong woman, I have done a lot in my life, I could not handle losing my son. Once my own health disintegrated in such a sudden way it never came back to normal again. There is so much ambiguity and guessing in the area of mental health, there is very little hard information and much speculation. Who knows why my body chemistry went on the blink as a result of serious mental trauma but it did and it's never been quite the same again. What a sad tale - I can only commiserate. The thing about brain chemistry (and I'm not saying this is what happened to you, just as an example) is that it can be "off" for a while, but so long as no great trauma or stress occurs, the brain (a wonderfully complex and also resilient part of us) manages to perform well enough that no noticeable effects are seen. However, when a situation of great stress or trauma occurs, it can unbalance the brain chemistry to the point where some form of intervention (be it medication, therapy or treatment) is required to set it back on its correct path. Stress, especially extreme psychological trauma, is still not fully understood; there are so many interactions that it's almost impossible to know what caused which effect. All modern medicine can do is treat the more easily identifiable symptoms and situations, and hope that the "natural" brain chemistry reasserts itself. quote: ORIGINAL: lizi We're all entitled to our preferences. I wouldn't castigate anyone here for not wanting a partner with an illness, I won't even specify mental or physical. Agreed, but I do feel there is so much more stigma and fear attached to mental illness than there is physical disability.

RapierFugue -> RE: Would mental illness bar a submissive from being picked? (1/30/2011 2:11:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rule You two ought to consult with each other in order to get your story straight before you post. You do a lovely line in obfuscation, but it doesn't hide your basic ignorance of the subject, as your previous posts demonstrated perfectly.

KatyLied -> RE: Would mental illness bar a submissive from being picked? (1/30/2011 2:23:54 PM)
quote: I draw the line at personality disorders though. Same here. After dealing with a few people who have narcissistic personality disorder and its horrors, I have no desire to go there again.

BlackTigerDragon -> RE: Would mental illness bar a submissive from being picked? (1/30/2011 3:14:42 PM)
I don't like discriminating against people. I try to avoid it. Race, gender, eye colour, hair colour ect ect. I don't think people choose these. I don't think people choose to have a mental illness either. I don't remember the last time I herd of someone with Bi-Polar who bought their mental illness from a shop. I don't know anyone with a mental illness who asked or it. I don't know how any one else chooses their subs based on mental illness, but I want be looking at the person, not the illness when considering anyone.

PrincessofSadden -> RE: Would mental illness bar a submissive from being picked? (1/30/2011 3:16:46 PM)
I guess it depends on the domme and what she's looking for. For me, if I already didn't have my wonderful sub Sadden, I wouldn't care as long as the guy tried to take care of himself. This would include him 1) not being in denial about his condition, 2) taking steps to remedy his condition such as drug therapy and/or counseling, and 3) being totally honest with me about it from the get go. But that could just be that I was in a previous relationship with someone who suffered from manic depression and so I know I could handle it. - Princess

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Would mental illness bar a submissive from being picked? (1/30/2011 3:19:48 PM)
Yes, mentall illness would disqualify someone from being my sub, if I was seeking a submissive. I've done the whole mentally ill partner thing, on and off medications, and it's not something I want to do again.

Wickad -> RE: Would mental illness bar a submissive from being picked? (1/30/2011 3:40:07 PM)
(fast reply) I think it is safe to say that in a perfect world we would all have wonderful, healthy people in our lives. This not being that perfect world ... As others have already stated, I do not think it is so much the illness that would dissuade me from dating someone who is mentally ill as it is would be their lack of responsibility for that illness. We all have little quirks that we have to deal with - some don't handle their alcohol well, some have family issues, etc - but we all are responsible adults about such things. The same is true of mental illness. It might surprise many of the folks here who think they would never date a mentally ill person to know ... that you probably have in the past. Folks suffering from some form of mental illness are our co-workers, play partners, friends, your bank manager, etc. Because of some of the sentiments expressed in this thread (and by the OP himself) many mentally ill folks will never tell you about this side of themselves. They would never want to jeopardize your opinion of them or your confidence in their abilities. Does this big dark closet sound familiar?? I have learned a few things about mental illness in my life - 1) until someone gets a handle on their illness, there is nothing you can do. It's not about you anymore, it's about them and how they choose to deal with it. Sometimes the best thing that can be done for both parties is to walk away and give them the time they need. 2) a mental illness does not, and should not, define anyone. Just because someone is depressed does not mean they are not also a painter, a really funny person, and/or capable of loving and being loved. Some of the most amazing people in history have had a mental disorder. Just some things to think about, Wickad To the OP - please go and find some help. It sounds like your medication is wrong or maybe even the diagnosis. In either case, this forum, and the folks on it, can't give you the help you need.

Chulain -> RE: Would mental illness bar a submissive from being picked? (1/30/2011 3:44:07 PM)
I would imagine it would depend on the nature of the mental illness. No such thing as multiple personality disorder, by the way. http://skepdic.com/mpd.html

Killerangel -> RE: Would mental illness bar a submissive from being picked? (1/30/2011 3:49:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RapierFugue Agreed, but I do feel there is so much more stigma and fear attached to mental illness than there is physical disability. The funny thing is that most mental illness has its cause in human physiology. It is a physical illness, the term mental illness is actually a misnomer, somehow it connotates that the issue is emotional. Mental illness is generally not due to an emotional problem. The reality is that it is just as physical a problem as diabetes- much of it has to do with things like blood chemistry and a misfiring neurological system. People don't generally understand that a mental illness has its root in a person's malfuctioning physiology. I believe you are right, there is more stigma attached to a so-called mental illness. Education and knowledge is behind on the subject of mental illnesses perhaps because they were misunderstood for so long, but if one in four people is affected hopefully things will catch up someday. When it comes down to it, I also agree in that the severity of the illness is what I would ponder when looking for a partner. I would be fine with a lot of physical illnesses but probably not one that was severe. Same for a mental illness. As other posters have said, it's in how the person takes care of their disability and if they are proactive and responsible.

angelikaJ -> RE: Would mental illness bar a submissive from being picked? (1/30/2011 4:13:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Chulain I would imagine it would depend on the nature of the mental illness. No such thing as multiple personality disorder, by the way. http://skepdic.com/mpd.html According to that opinion. There are many respected people in the psychiatric profession who disagree with that.

YSG -> RE: Would mental illness bar a submissive from being picked? (1/30/2011 4:32:04 PM)
I have suffered from depression for almost 10 years now. I admit, it has led me to do some very foolish things. However, I have survived, and I am further along in my recovery than most people who suffer from it will ever be. Im off of the meds, and I am doing fine. So yes, recovery can and does happen.

tazzygirl -> RE: Would mental illness bar a submissive from being picked? (1/30/2011 4:39:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Chulain I would imagine it would depend on the nature of the mental illness. No such thing as multiple personality disorder, by the way. http://skepdic.com/mpd.html quote: This does not mean that MPD does not exist, but that its origin and development are often, if not most often, explicable without the model of separate but permeable ego-states or "alters" arising out of the ashes of a destroyed "original self." Your own source disagrees with you.

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