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ORIGINAL: IrishMist

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

My thought?  That if darch chylde were back on the forums, this would be one hell of an interesting thread.

He did have a certain way with words, didn't he?
[:D]

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Perhaps if you described this in terms of their behaviors rather than calling them names, you would get more headway.  Assuming, of course, that you want a genuine answer to your question.  Because I'm at a complete loss to know what specific behaviors or characteristics you're referring to.

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ORIGINAL: hausboy

Here.  I'll amend your original post:

Why do all the sub male wussies always join CollarMe ass-first by posting inflammatory crap about other subs?  Great way to make friends and influence people.  If your intent was to illustrate that you're a great sub in spite of all the bad ones out there...you aren't making a good case for yourself. 

I went to a FemDom event last night.  There were some absolutely wonderful, impressive straight male subs.  And at least one really, really bad one, that gives us all a bad name.  I can't even bring myself to call him a sub.

Here's my rule of thumb.  If you find, in a certain social circle, that you meet one or two assholes, then you've met one or two assholes. If you find, however, in that same social circle, that everyone is an asshole, here's the newsflash: you're the asshole.

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ORIGINAL: TotallyDude

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ORIGINAL: hausboy

Here.  I'll amend your original post:

Why do all the sub male wussies always join CollarMe ass-first by posting inflammatory crap about other subs?  Great way to make friends and influence people.  If your intent was to illustrate that you're a great sub in spite of all the bad ones out there...you aren't making a good case for yourself. 

I went to a FemDom event last night.  There were some absolutely wonderful, impressive straight male subs.  And at least one really, really bad one, that gives us all a bad name.  I can't even bring myself to call him a sub.

Here's my rule of thumb.  If you find, in a certain social circle, that you meet one or two assholes, then you've met one or two assholes. If you find, however, in that same social circle, that everyone is an asshole, here's the newsflash: you're the asshole.

Looks like you've been here about 4 or 5 months now. You have a few posts under your belt. Maybe forged a few tentative alliances. If this place runs like most online hives you should be at about the point where you're starting to move up the food chain, beginning to establish your place in the pack. From this post, I would guess you're already settling down comfortably into a Beta position. Maybe that's what you want. If so good job, bro. :)

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ORIGINAL: TotallyDude

I should amend this to say "Why are straight sub dudes such pussies" because it seems like the gay sub dudes I know are pretty good dudes. Plus sub girls for the most part are pretty kickass. But there's something about sub dudes that makes them whiny pussies and I want to know what it is.

I can't complain. A few of us are awesome dudes and all the whiny dramatic emo type nonsense from the others only makes us stand out more. But is it something in the nature of sub guys to be this way? Or is it more like there are dudes out there who are wussy, dimwitted, overly emotional jellyfish and they figure if they can't be the lead singer for some Fallout Boy ripoff band they may as well become self-proclaimed subs?

Thoughts?

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ORIGINAL: TotallyDude

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Perhaps if you described this in terms of their behaviors rather than calling them names, you would get more headway.  Assuming, of course, that you want a genuine answer to your question.  Because I'm at a complete loss to know what specific behaviors or characteristics you're referring to.

Yeah dude that's fair. I guess even if I'm pretty sure a pussy knows he's a pussy, it's still only fair to lay it all bare and enumerate a few of the behaviors I mean. When I think of a pussy I think of a dude who:

won't stand up for himself
won't make a decision
won't articulate an opinion unless he knows he's allowed to have that opinion
won't make the first move
slinks off as soon as he is challenged
tries to hide his talents so he doesn't outshine the people he is around
won't say or do anything unless he feels like it will impress someone he is trying to impress

Now there are a lot of pussies worldwide, but this is behavior I have observed even more often in bdsm circles. It also seems like female subbies are more likely to stay sharp, assertive, and independent outside their relationships than dude subs. I also understand that in a power exchange dynamic a sub is NOT going to talk back or be disrespectful to a Domme or her friends or embarrass her in public. But I feel like unattached sub dudes often suffer from the same fatal flaw of being a total pussy (aka "nice guy syndrome") which is probably why so many of them stay single and miserable so long. Being a sub does NOT mean being a beta male loser.

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First off, never use the word subbies, you are doing badly enough so far with calling the submissive men pussies.

Some may think you are a total pussy for being so weak and insecure that you have to put down other sub males.

Why are you so upset about other guys? Worried about the competition?

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oh yes....buy yourself an armour

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ORIGINAL: TotallyDude
Yeah dude that's fair. I guess even if I'm pretty sure a pussy knows he's a pussy, it's still only fair to lay it all bare and enumerate a few of the behaviors I mean. When I think of a pussy I think of a dude who:

won't stand up for himself
won't make a decision
won't articulate an opinion unless he knows he's allowed to have that opinion
won't make the first move
slinks off as soon as he is challenged
tries to hide his talents so he doesn't outshine the people he is around
won't say or do anything unless he feels like it will impress someone he is trying to impress

Now there are a lot of pussies worldwide, but this is behavior I have observed even more often in bdsm circles. It also seems like female subbies are more likely to stay sharp, assertive, and independent outside their relationships than dude subs. I also understand that in a power exchange dynamic a sub is NOT going to talk back or be disrespectful to a Domme or her friends or embarrass her in public. But I feel like unattached sub dudes often suffer from the same fatal flaw of being a total pussy (aka "nice guy syndrome") which is probably why so many of them stay single and miserable so long. Being a sub does NOT mean being a beta male loser.

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Note I said many. In reply to the OP I will state that it's likely because every HNG, troll, and top-from-the-bottom lists "submissive" as his role, and most of those types -- the HNG's, trolls, and tops-from-the-bottom believe that acting like a pussy is the way they are supposed to act to lure their intended targets to them.

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On the points that you're making, I'm not especially sure if you are looking at submissive males who are not in a dynamic compared to those that are.  I don't mince words about My expectations in a dynamic.  I expect him to obey.  In this, clip does articulate his opinion.  If after that I've said no, it's time for him to submit.  That's how it's supposed to work, as far as I'm concerned.

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ORIGINAL: TotallyDude

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Note I said many. In reply to the OP I will state that it's likely because every HNG, troll, and top-from-the-bottom lists "submissive" as his role, and most of those types -- the HNG's, trolls, and tops-from-the-bottom believe that acting like a pussy is the way they are supposed to act to lure their intended targets to them.

Thanks for the reply bro and I hear you about the cliques. I've been bouncin' around online so long I know how the game goes and at this point I ain't even mad at them--I'm just laughin' at 'em when they get all up in there cliques.

I think you may have hit the nail on the head here though. At least this is my theory too. Dudes think this is how a sub dude is "supposed to" act. That just makes me wonder where they get that idea. Because this is the exact opposite of how in my experience of what most domme types are really attracted to. I wonder where the communication breakdown happens, where the expectations and reality miss each other like ships passing in the night.

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The idea, I think, comes from inexperience. I recall *MANY* moons ago when I was first starting out, I actually thought I was a submissive. Guess what. I know for a fact I acted like a total pussy. Hell, when I was first starting out, in terms of male-female relations, I was a pussy. Back then I had no clue what I was, what I wanted, or how to achieve any of it. In fact, many of my early girl friends, lifestyle or otherwise, ended up breaking up with me because I acted confrontational originally -- playfully flirting I suppose -- to woo them. Then when we started dating, suddenly I became a pussy-whipped little pushover. And it annoyed them. Hell it annoys me just to think about it.

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ORIGINAL: TotallyDude
Yeah I can feel that. A lot of us alphas started off as sniveling little beta boys. It took me a few years before I learned to slick back the hair, grow some scruff and rock the black on black. Some dudes never do learn, just get dashed to bits on the rocks I guess.

These days sometimes I wonder if I'm even a sub anymore. I mean I've still got masochistic urges but I definitely like being in control too.

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ORIGINAL: TotallyDude

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Note I said many. In reply to the OP I will state that it's likely because every HNG, troll, and top-from-the-bottom lists "submissive" as his role, and most of those types -- the HNG's, trolls, and tops-from-the-bottom believe that acting like a pussy is the way they are supposed to act to lure their intended targets to them.

Thanks for the reply bro and I hear you about the cliques. I've been bouncin' around online so long I know how the game goes and at this point I ain't even mad at them--I'm just laughin' at 'em when they get all up in there cliques.

I think you may have hit the nail on the head here though. At least this is my theory too. Dudes think this is how a sub dude is "supposed to" act. That just makes me wonder where they get that idea. Because this is the exact opposite of how in my experience of what most domme types are really attracted to. I wonder where the communication breakdown happens, where the expectations and reality miss each other like ships passing in the night.