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RE: Abandoned by Dom - 5/8/2006 3:30:03 AM

feastie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tendergirl

I have accepted that no matter what I do or say, the relationship is over and I have to go through the process of being hurt and then getting over it.

This was my first D/s relationship and I have to say that I just cannot see me ever getting into another one. I gave parts of myself to him that I had never given to anyone before. Those deepest, most intimate emotions that came from so far in my soul that now I have lost the relationship, my life is in tatters.

Yes, that sounds pathetic. Yes, I am embarrassed by that. I am a 44 year old, mother of 3, who just simply should have known better.

Leaving my job was not wise. I went to work when I should have phoned in sick, freaked out (my direct supervisor had always been a bit of a pain, a bully) when someone got in my face, and then went and got a sick note.

In all honesty, right now, what job I do does not matter to me, so I will get other work, I know that. What is worrying me is how I am feeling deep down inside. Quite unstable. As if someone has had their hand inside my brain and screwed around with it.

This does not feel the same as a normal breakup to me.

It feels different because it is different. You have to learn to be "unowned" inasmuch as you had to learn to be owned. It's a difficult process and you have no choice but to do it, right now, because he isn't there anymore. It hurts like hell.
But you can and will do it and you can and will be ready for a new relationship one day.

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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to tendergirl)

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RE: Abandoned by Dom - 5/8/2006 3:30:53 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
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The only thing I disagree with here is the "Gift" mentality, that actualy leads to these types of situations. A gift is given to someone regardless of who they are, submission however needs the person being submitted to to be capable of taking up the responcibility for that submission. Just anyone won't do, the sub needs to be sure that person is responcible, stable and strong enough to handle their side of things.

Unless of course their are wanting to end up in a situation where some spineless HNG is simply comming round to Dom them in the bedroom and not take any responcibility or interest in the rest of her or her life! Fine for those who are looking for that, but IMO that is a playmate, not 'My girl' with all that entails.

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This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

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(in reply to lilbitnella)

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Post #: 62