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RE: Low Libido - 2/4/2011 10:34:17 AM   
RCdc


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue

2 things must ye know about The Wise Woman ...



you know her then...?

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: Low Libido - 2/4/2011 10:38:52 AM   
RapierFugue


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From: London, England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc


quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue

2 things must ye know about The Wise Woman ...



you know her then...?


No, just a wild stab in the dark ... which is incidentally what you'll be getting if you don't start being a bit more helpful.

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Low Libido - 2/4/2011 10:42:12 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue


quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc


quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue

2 things must ye know about The Wise Woman ...



you know her then...?


No, just a wild stab in the dark ... which is incidentally what you'll be getting if you don't start being a bit more helpful.


*places hand to forehead and feels suitably admonished...


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RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Low Libido - 2/4/2011 10:48:51 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc
*places hand to forehead and feels suitably admonished...


Thank you, young crone. Here is a purse of monies ...

... which I'm not going to give to you.

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Low Libido - 2/4/2011 10:52:51 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue


quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc
*places hand to forehead and feels suitably admonished...


Thank you, young crone. Here is a purse of monies ...

... which I'm not going to give to you.



Of course....(okok... so I am a bit behind... but I didnt realise I was supposed to recite it...)

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RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: Low Libido - 2/4/2011 10:57:04 AM   
angelikaJ


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey

I appreciate the opinions everyone.

The only thing that happened around the same time was, I moved in with him because my ex-roomate asked me to leave 28 days before I was ready to move and I lost all the money I had saved for my own place.

And it's not like I dont sleep with him. It's only been like 4 days since the last time we were together.


I think moving in with him before you were ready has probably made things difficult for you.

You are someone who needs space and suddenly you have someone in your space quite frequently.

On the other hand, now that you are there, he sees it as a free buffet.

He is reacting to your rejection and you are feeling hostile at being crowded.

I think the 2 of you need to sit down and have a serious discussion about needs and boundaries.

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RE: Low Libido - 2/4/2011 11:05:33 AM   
RapierFugue


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From: London, England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RCdc
Of course....(okok... so I am a bit behind... but I didnt realise I was supposed to recite it...)


You're not. I'm just super-tragic, is all :)

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Low Libido - 2/4/2011 1:00:16 PM   
kalikshama


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quote:

I think moving in with him before you were ready has probably made things difficult for you.
You are someone who needs space and suddenly you have someone in your space quite frequently.
On the other hand, now that you are there, he sees it as a free buffet.
He is reacting to your rejection and you are feeling hostile at being crowded.
I think the 2 of you need to sit down and have a serious discussion about needs and boundaries.

This /\

Additionally, medications, including antidepressants, can dampen the libido, as can stress, poor diet and lack of sleep or exercise. (I got plenty of exercise when I waitressed so if you're doing doubles, lack of exercise is probably not it.)

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Low Libido - 2/5/2011 4:03:07 AM   
Sundowner


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Joined: 3/11/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunnyfey
What should I do?

Ditch the whiny little prick? :)



RF! For shame!

OK, so the op says "I couldn't stand his whining" but even so the gentleman might be a fine gentleman and she might be, in spite of current probs, deeply in love with him. (And her profile suggests a degree of feist (if one's feisty does one have feist?) which would allow her to ditch someone if she wished to, so maybe the current lack of ditching suggests at least residual affection).

So I admonish you sir for your ruthless response and urge you to follow a sweeter, kinder, gentler path more in keeping with your natural nature. 







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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Low Libido - 2/5/2011 4:37:46 AM   
RapierFugue


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From: London, England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sundowner
So I admonish you sir for your ruthless response and urge you to follow a sweeter, kinder, gentler path more in keeping with your natural nature. 


Sweeter? Kinder? Gentler?

I think you're confusing me with someone else :)

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Low Libido - 2/5/2011 4:42:36 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Oddly.. that
's what I was gonna say, RF ;)

SD.. check yer YIM...

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Low Libido - 2/5/2011 4:44:14 AM   
RapierFugue


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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Oddly.. that
's what I was gonna say, RF ;)


Clever girl :)

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Low Libido - 2/5/2011 4:54:37 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		yes, I am, aren't I?

*grin*

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Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Low Libido - 2/5/2011 5:10:43 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

yes, I am, aren't I?

*grin*


I've never said different :)

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Low Libido - 2/5/2011 5:13:33 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*grins*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Low Libido - 2/5/2011 6:25:39 AM   
Buzzzz


Posts: 839
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline 		I had the same problem in the past with my ex. I am a very horny guy and , when she moved in with me, new place new job, no friends, it was very stressful for her and it went down the drain.. We split up.. went back together about 6 month later and it was much better. She still had a lower drive then I..Maybe a "sex routine " would help.. Like a couple of days a week, *evenings or what not* having a sex date would help...maybe you guys would look forward to it.. the Dom would give assignments for building up the future date, and the sub would look forward to it.. Just a thought..

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Low Libido - 2/5/2011 9:57:23 AM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline 		I'm going to go against the most prevalent answer and say from my experience in my own life, and what I've observed in others, a change in libido is usually caused by emotional triggers, not physical ones. You are the only one who can attest to the truth of this or not. Even though the bf is 'only' asking for a cuddle, he's still wanting things from you and whatever flavor it is does not change the fact that he's badgering to get something from you that you aren't wanting to give. Saying a disingenuous "I just wanted a cuddle, etc...." is him wanting you to give him something and it's all the same to you right now no matter what he wants - you aren't inclined to want to give it so it doesn't really matter what exactly he's asking for.

A break down in physical intimacy is generally, I feel, a reflection of what is happening between the couple, not a physical problem. I feel it might be true in your case because of the negative emotions I got upon reading your posting. You seem to feel put out by your guy, that isn't a finger pointing at you at all, just a comment on how things came across. If he's clinging and you are needing your space then you're at odds with each other. What is causing that? I'd not discount the physical things the others mentioned but you might get farther if you can figure out why you seem to need space from his wants and why you aren't particularly interested in connecting with him.

Physical intimacy is obviously one of the closest ways you can be with someone you have feelings for. Why are you pushing that away? It's usually the first thing that suffers when there are relationship problems and the hardest thing to get back to normal after resolving those problems.




< Message edited by Killerangel -- 2/5/2011 10:38:12 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Low Libido - 2/5/2011 10:00:53 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Killerangel

caused by emotional tiggers


Yay!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Sd0xxDmcCw

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Low Libido - 2/5/2011 10:39:45 AM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue


quote:

ORIGINAL: Killerangel

caused by emotional tiggers


Yay!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Sd0xxDmcCw



Hey! Lol. I still had time to edit so I corrected it but I certainly don't mind having tiggers about because I can't type worth a darn. I thought I checked it over too, dang it!

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Low Libido - 2/5/2011 11:52:11 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Killerangel
Hey! Lol. I still had time to edit so I corrected it but I certainly don't mind having tiggers about because I can't type worth a darn. I thought I checked it over too, dang it!


Well at least you know I'm paying attention :)

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Profile   Post #: 40
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