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strangedesire -> RE: query to fd's about forced fem involving sheer hosiery (2/6/2011 8:03:11 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: nakedplaything
i think what i said has been misunderstood. i certainly dont think women are weak etc, i believe women are stronger than men in many ways, however, like it or not, femininity, traditionaly, is associated with a certain amount of vulnerability and weakness, just because women are generally physicaly weaker than men, and more emotional. and when i mentioned humiliating, i didnt mean it is humiliating to be a woman - god forbit, quite the opposite! - what i meant was for a man to be made to wear highly feminine clothing, is humiliating for him, becuase it reduces his masculinity, and lets face it, if the average man was forced to dress as a woman, hed feel and look pretty rediculous, so that would also make him feel humiliated. and yes when a woman wears sheer hosiery, it definately makes her powerfull over men, becuase of the strong effect it has on us sexually. men in a way are basically putty in your hands when your wearing provocative clothing, becuase it makes you so desirable to us. but agian, one of the main reasons sheer hosiery is so provocative and sexually exciting to men is because it is so feminine, and it is so feminine becuase of what i said earlier, becuase its so soft and delicate, and subconciously we associate that with femininity. sorry if i accidentaly offended.
OK. You may not be aware of what you're doing here, so I'll lay it out for you.
1) You seem to think of femininity and masculinity as on a spectrum. More feminine = less masculine and vice versa. Also "femininity, traditionaly, is associated with a certain amount of vulnerability and weakness." So basically, you have inherently stronger men and inherently weaker women. (I'll talk about the way you see female power in a minute.)
2) "for a man to be made to wear highly feminine clothing, is humiliating for him, becuase it reduces his masculinity." What you're saying here is that moving along the spectrum from masculine to feminine is undesirable, and therefore humiliating. The built-in value judgment here is that it's better to be masculine than feminine. If that were not the case, it would be desirable (ie not humiliating) for men to become more feminine.
3) "it definately makes her powerfull over men, becuase of the strong effect it has on us sexually. men in a way are basically putty in your hands when your wearing provocative clothing, becuase it makes you so desirable to us." Let's talk about why this is problematic:
- It suggests that women cannot be powerful unless they are sexually attractive. Men are held to no such standard.
- It suggests that women don't have any inherent power - they have to use their sexual wiles to get power from men. Needless to say, telling dominant women that they can't be powerful without male approval tends to piss them off. Also, feminists. Also, lesbians.
- It suggests that female power is limited to spheres where women can exercise their sexuality. Which is funny, because I don't usually see female CEOs wearing lingerie on the job.
- "[sexy clothing] is so provocative and sexually exciting to men is because it is so feminine...becuase its so soft and delicate." Equating female power with delicacy and vulnerability is problematic because it suggests that she can either be strong OR be powerful, but not both. Plenty of women are both, even if they aren't weight lifters or athletes.
- It ignores the fact that women have sex drives of their own. Otherwise, wouldn't sexually attractive men also have this kind of power over women? What would happen if an attractive man and an attractive woman were in the same room? Who would be in control?
- Re: the point above, don't try the "women can control themselves and men can't" line. That's rape-apologist bullshit, and it's a line of thinking that takes power away from women far more often than it empowers them.
Listen, nakedplaything, I'm sure that your fantasies are valuable to you. And I'm certainly not saying that you should give up and become vanilla. Frankly, though, the way you seem to relate to women doesn't allow them to be people, and that isn't sustainable in the long run. Unless you want to resign yourself to a life of pro-Dommes and dissatisfaction, I'd give it some thought.
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