LadyHugs
Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
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Dear Ladies and Gentlemen;
The internet is merely a tool. With tools, regardless --it is the individual and their "spirit of intent" to use the tools wisely or to use them with disrespect.
In not the most polite words, I grant you -- everybody has an opinion, but like anus holes, everybody has one. It depends on how big it is and the void it is spewing.
There are going to be pros and cons with any Internet resource research. Learning and seeking knowledge is what one makes of it. By compare one post with all post, there will be matching points made and some that provoke more investigation. Everybody has to be their own advocate and protect themselves from faulty information. Books, posts, lectures and such are just one resource. Being able to question and dig deeper beyond the surface information is good research and or detective work. As with any news, magazine, book, post and or lecture, demonstration and or presentation--everybody gets something different out of it all.
The "true" values is for individuals themselves to establish. Everybody seeks something--that something is what is to be sifted through to be valued to the one seeking.
As M/s, D/s and or BDSM and or S&M becomes more global, we are afforded a broader range of access.
what we do as custodians and users of the knowledge, skills and such--falls onto the next generation.
What disturbs me though, most of all--is the dismissal, disrespect and at times rude and hurtful behavior towards seasoned dominants like me. We have walked through this lifestyle disorganized, as the Internet and global communication was not in place. We might be of the old ways however, we earned every crumb of knowledge through personal experiences, first hand and not hearsay, or what a good writer produces into books and such. Being discreet in my day wasn't a dirty word but a virtue. So many seasoned individuals Dominant and or submissive have withdrawn to the shadows as to not be swept up into reckless management of our knowledge and skills. Rarely have I seen seasoned dominants to ram down people's throats and or be forceful. That is against the nature of our time to be humble givers and to see others succeed in a positive light. We wait as to be approached. So, the internet has really been a means to share with genuine concern about others as the old ways to approach and be given knowledge has seemingly disappeared. To share what we know is a risk as people have demonstrated a behavior which calls too much attention to the general public. The more public access, knowledge, skills are more prone to misuse and use by those with evil intent and or those who have a need to create attention to themselves.
I'm sure many of the seasoned dominants will be of similar agreement, that so many we observe now days, can talk the talk but, can't walk the walk. One can be book smart but, couldn't flog themselves out of a wet paper bag. Or, about as effective as a submissive, as a screen door on a submarine. Anybody, friend or foe can be behind the monitor. News has proven this repeatedly, on child porn stings on the Internet. I think this is where seasoned dominants worry and is a sad thing to witness.
My generation of seasoned dominants are getting old, and like the guard before us passes away into history or into a land of forgotten practitioners of the arts, it will soon be my turn to join into that history and my knowledge and skill will die with me, as there hasn't been a steady opportunity to plant seeds into the newer generation. However, there is always "the few" that hunger for what was; as what is isn't working so well. This makes the Internet most worthwhile to keeping the torch lighted and past to the next generation until they are the ones who are old and pass it on to those of the new guard. Each generation of lifestyler's history, is modified to fit into the current state of affairs. History repeats itself but, not in the same manner.
An example, with no mention of a name but, this known author has stated that there is no such thing as European trained dominant/submissive. Yet, how can this author say such, never leaving the USA; not counting Americans stationed abroad for military and or civilian pursuits and emerge into the scene overseas? Does this mean that the information this author states as a fact; I would have to say no. In addition, many Europeans have influenced the scene by living in the USA. So, the credibility of the author in my eyes is lost. Yet, it appears the author has world wide appeal. (Note: The author I speak of is not on this list/group). History exists, as always--As far as Ben Franklin's days in England, visiting the Hellfire Club, to which a rich man, bought an old abby, practiced debauchery (The Black Mass) participating in what we now call BDSM. Debauchery and spanking clubs in Europe; publishing works through Bon Ton magazine and other magazines in the 1920's are in archives to establish first hand credibility. We have;
King Charles V’s the manual of, “Punishment of Life and Limb.” as a reference; Die Heilige Inquisition (The Holy Inquisition) -- Wesen, Method und Wirkung (Essence, Methods and Effects) as roots to S&M long before DeSade, that have influenced historical debauchery and the Master/Mistress-slave dynamic and power exchanges. The lifestyle today, has borrowed from history and rituals, customs, ceremony and etiquette; that is why the lifestyle is "living" history --how we will be remembered in that period may be of concern or not, to the present day but, our roots go a long way back--Longer than Gay Leather's Old Guard of the 1940s. It only appears now, that the Gay Leathermen still hold on gingerly to the threads of the old ways which endear me to them--as they do try to maintain the protocols and practices that some of us of the Old School days remember.
I have experienced having a female dominant local, use my knowledge in part and ran off to create a group and since impatient and didn't get "all" of the tricks of the trade, thinking she could steal information-- created a group that flopped in three months. Her intent was to be the center of attention and to add something on her resume` --Yet, nobody can tell from a resume` that is vague how long this individual had a successful group. As to slight me, named herself in a similar manner--but, she has since gone through so many groups seeking attention, her credibility is gone.
Another female dominant, created a group as to just get free labor under the guise of D/s. I found it most unfair and advocated for the submissive men; that were so clueless. Submission is not determined by free labor. Although the talk is much like most seasoned posters, the "spirit of intent" is evil and causes problems in the lifestyle. The female dominant has young dominants walking on egg shells, so they have become crippled in so many ways. To me this is a huge blow to mentoring and having young dominants grow into the strong women they could be.
Unlike the old days, of "How may I be of service" from Masters/Mistress-slaves mentality--the "giving" has been skewed into "taking." It is up to the new generation--even on the Internet and beyond's choice as to guide where the lifestyle heads next. This is where the new generation needs to decide to go, as many seasoned dominants decided in our time.
Respectfully submitted for generalized consideration,
Lady Hugs
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RE: Has the Internet killed the True values of BDSM - 
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