Because I say so!!

Because I say so!! (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

FukinTroll -> Because I say so!! (2/9/2011 6:42:14 AM)
The girl smiled and graciously accepted the gift, because I said so. The girl cleaned the house spotless because I said so. The girl washed and waxed the car because I said so. The girl rested on the couch while I cooked dinner, because I said so. The girl bathed and shaved me, because I said so. The girl curled up in bed and I kissed her most the night... she did this, accepted this and loved this... because I said so.

0ldhen -> RE: Because I say so!! (2/9/2011 7:23:28 AM)
I so get this. From a subbies perspective it is often so hard to grasp "Because I say so". Often, especially when we enter this bright mind boggling world of wiitwd we are bombarded with "this is how it is supposed to be". Domly Doms DO NOT cook, help with chores, etc.... When the fact is that for all us /s types it really should be about because our D's said so. It can be hard, really hard when you receive a present and you don't feel like you deserve it or because you think it is inappropriste for your D to do this for you, after all you are the "lowly" subbie here. How many of you would just squirm and twitch watching your D cook you dinner? Oh man, I'd be crawling out of my sin. I honestly would be so uncomfortable. Yet why? After all, it would be his choice, his want, his desire that I sit while he cooked. I would only be obeying. I get it you big green adorable Troll. And ouch, wha a hard lesson for me to learn to handle. I am just curious now, would this be as hard for anybody else? How many D's out there feel the same as our Sultan of slurp?

LaTigresse -> RE: Because I say so!! (2/9/2011 7:41:54 AM)
Too many, as seen by some of the drama queens on the forums, immediately envision the worst case scenario of 'because I said so' or 'it's my way or the highway'. When I see the drama queens post their drama over those phrases I wonder to myself......."Are you really THAT BAD at choosing your significant other/s that you immediately assume the worst???" If an s type cannot do a good job in choosing a person to submit to, perhaps they need to think twice about entering a power exchange relationship in the first place. Rather than trying to diminish the dominant partner's power after the fact.

0ldhen -> RE: Because I say so!! (2/9/2011 7:51:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse Too many, as seen by some of the drama queens on the forums, immediately envision the worst case scenario of 'because I said so' or 'it's my way or the highway'. When I see the drama queens post their drama over those phrases I wonder to myself......."Are you really THAT BAD at choosing your significant other/s that you immediately assume the worst???" If an s type cannot do a good job in choosing a person to submit to, perhaps they need to think twice about entering a power exchange relationship in the first place. Rather than trying to diminish the dominant partner's power after the fact. Good morning and I agree with you on both points. But after reading so many of FT's posts I think (at least I hope) that I saw his point. Because I said so to me spoke to how I have no difficulty in doing the "correct tasks and behaviours" as I perceived or rather preconceieved them to be, yet often had horrible difficulty with other aspects of the "because I said so" concept. When in truth it should not have been so hard to do so.

LaTigresse -> RE: Because I say so!! (2/9/2011 7:55:47 AM)
I wasn't disagreeing with you.

SexyBossyBBW -> RE: Because I say so!! (2/9/2011 7:57:38 AM)
No negotiations? What kind of Dominant are you? A fake one I say! Did she have a safeword, and used it when you began cooking? [:D] M

LadyPact -> RE: Because I say so!! (2/9/2011 8:04:47 AM)
It's a good post. Makes Me think you had a nice trip, FT. However, I completely see LaT's point. While Troll's post speaks to the simplicity of a Dominant using his authority to run a dynamic as he wishes, including the idea that some Dominants don't want their sub doing every task or never wanting to do anything nice for them, there's no extremist crap that folks like to conjure up. There's the absence of nonsense, such as the submissive cutting her own hand off (or some other ridiculous notion that won't come up in the exceptionally high majority of dynamics) because the Dominant said so. Nope. Just run of the mill activities where one person is Dominant and the other submissive. I'm sure the extremists will be quite disappointed.

0ldhen -> RE: Because I say so!! (2/9/2011 8:12:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse I wasn't disagreeing with you. I'm so sorry hon if my reply seemed like I thought you were,I know you were not. I think this idea just struck me pretty hard so I was blithering away here about my thoughts/feelings on the subject.

CreativeDominant -> RE: Because I say so!! (2/9/2011 8:15:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact It's a good post. Makes Me think you had a nice trip, FT. However, I completely see LaT's point. While Troll's post speaks to the simplicity of a Dominant using his authority to run a dynamic as he wishes, including the idea that some Dominants don't want their sub doing every task or never wanting to do anything nice for them, there's no extremist crap that folks like to conjure up. There's the absence of nonsense, such as the submissive cutting her own hand off (or some other ridiculous notion that won't come up in the exceptionally high majority of dynamics) because the Dominant said so. Nope. Just run of the mill activities where one person is Dominant and the other submissive. I'm sure the extremists will be quite disappointed. Sure they will. Tis funny but I get more email over two statements I have in my profile..."My way or the highway" and "If you agree to submit...then do so." I get harangues about those positions. Oddly enough, the people sending these harangues seem to have rarely read the rest of the profile surrounding these statements. I LIKE to cook. I EXPECT to be able to cook once in awhile. I LIKE to wash and detail My own damn vehicles...and I enjoy it enough that I might even do hers. I LIKE to give gifts... even, sometimes, to those that I don't love but DO care about. If I feel that way about those I don't love, why wouldn't I give a gift to MY girl? None of the above stops the fact that it is going to be My way or that I expect...surprise...a submissive who has agreed to submit to submit and that not every damn command/order/request---however you wish to describe it---takes soul-searching.

LillyBoPeep -> RE: Because I say so!! (2/9/2011 8:20:20 AM)
i like the simplicity of this ^_^ and i agree -- this is very often how normal relationships go. "because i said so" can be comforting, too -- ESPECIALLY for those times when the D/M wants you sitting on the couch while he cooks, or sometimes like that. sometimes it's hard to know what to do, if you become overly attached to stereotypical "activities" of the role.

LaTigresse -> RE: Because I say so!! (2/9/2011 8:24:15 AM)
Indeed and I also love to cook......just not as fond of the clean up part... I am reminded of a conversation I had with a woman I've been communicating with. I said something about needing to end the conversation so that I could go feed the horses and dogs. She said something to the effect that she should be doing that for me. I replied that I will almost always be the one feeding them and she didn't understand. I had to explain to her why I prefer to be the one doing the primary care and feeding. She was only seeing it as menial labour that an s-type should be doing for me. I will however, always 'allow' an s-type to do pooper scooper duty!!![:D]

FukinTroll -> RE: Because I say so!! (2/9/2011 8:30:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SexyBossyBBW No negotiations? What kind of Dominant are you? A fake one I say! Did she have a safeword, and used it when you began cooking? [:D] M Dinner was the inspiration for this post actually. The girl just started blinking and shorting out over the idea that I was going to cook, sweating when I started cooking but settled when I told her: because I said so. It is the preconceived notions and misconceptions of the D/s dynamic that lead to the, Because I said so, conversation. I see that happen a lot around here and when I walk in a girls door. The Troll is kind of a rockstar in this little world we have here and it took her more than a minute to figure out the rockstar is quite comfy in pj's by the fireplace. Mr Troll has a great deal of fun being captain caveman on here, however the asshole I have to play in real life is a different creature. A household runs and operates when I am in it or not, and me getting off the Domly ass and making the house run a little smoother means more time for slurping. I enjoy cooking... an I am going to hit you with something all you mothers, daughters, sisters know is the gospel of life... If it's dirty clean it up if it's crying pick it up if it's hungry feed it if you love it SLURP it! So for me, the chest thumping sitting on my ass bark growl bark D dynamic just doesn't fly. I am a participant in this dynamic and I participate. When the dynamic is negotiated, because I say, always falls within the parameters of the dynamic. The only safe word I allow is, fuck it, I am done... then it is over.

LillyBoPeep -> RE: Because I say so!! (2/9/2011 8:33:48 AM)
so wonderfully said FuckinTroll ^_^

IrishMist -> RE: Because I say so!! (2/9/2011 8:36:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FukinTroll The girl smiled and graciously accepted the gift, because I said so. The girl cleaned the house spotless because I said so. The girl washed and waxed the car because I said so. The girl rested on the couch while I cooked dinner, because I said so. The girl bathed and shaved me, because I said so. The girl curled up in bed and I kissed her most the night... she did this, accepted this and loved this... because I said so. Nice [:)]

FukinTroll -> RE: Because I say so!! (2/9/2011 8:41:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep so wonderfully said FuckinTroll ^_^ Thank ya doll! I hope this line of thought gets both sides of the kneel thinking about this, and gets them considering the negotiations, concessions, exceptions and expectations. SLURP! Further more, I appreciate both sides of kneel coming on here and expressing their thoughts on the subject. I know it pulls a bit of the mystery out of the whole fantasy, however the horses must be fed and if it is your piece of happy doing it, it is nothing you would shovel off on the /s.

osf -> RE: Because I say so!! (2/9/2011 8:42:58 AM)
because I beg so

0ldhen -> RE: Because I say so!! (2/9/2011 8:51:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: osf because I beg so OK, I am newer here so I am confused so I am just going to ask; are you a D or an s? I looked at your profile and it states male dominant. Hope I'm not being offensive here.

LillyBoPeep -> RE: Because I say so!! (2/9/2011 9:01:41 AM)
it is good to think about what misconceptions you might have. i know when i first got into this and was pursuing a power exchange relationship with my late M, sometimes it bugged me when he wanted to cook for me because i felt like i should be doing it for him. he LOVED cooking, though, and made a wicked grilled cheese sandwhich. =p so if i threw a fit about that, wouldn't i be exerting control over him, and not the other way around? it's interesting stuff to think about. i think people just get so attached to stereotypical behaviors, and they desperately want to "feel slavey" which generally means doing dirty jobs or menial tasks, cooking, cleaning, being domestic. but that's not what power exchange is totally about. if you're running simply by the power of your desires (i.e. the desire to "Feel slavey" or something like that), then you aren't really engaging in the power exchange. that's just my opinion.

0ldhen -> RE: Because I say so!! (2/9/2011 9:07:37 AM)
Hello you adorable little pink and fluffy sheperdess, weg... I only want to say, you totally get it!

LillyBoPeep -> RE: Because I say so!! (2/9/2011 9:08:26 AM)
thank you lovely chicky ^_^ hehehe

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875