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When is interfering acceptable? - 2/12/2011 10:06:49 AM   
happylittlepet


Posts: 289
Status: offline
For me, there is a disconnect between the responses in these two threads:

BDSM, abuse, and spin  - http://www.collarchat.com/m_3561020/tm.htm

and

Having your limits broken - http://www.collarchat.com/m_3564952/tm.htm


My questions are:

1. When is it acceptable to interfere?

2. Whose observation that an interaction between partners/accomplices is not acceptable (i.e. abusive) carries more weight? The observation of a Master/Dom or the observation of a submissive/slave?

3. What carries more weight: the perception that standards like SSC are broken, your personal standards, or the private agreement between the parties involved?

4. Here, Ontario, Canada, the law states that anyone who suspects that there is abuse going on has to notify the authorities. Not going to the authorities makes one guilty of omitting to report the suspicion. Because of the repercussions and because they might be wrong, many people hesitate to make a report. Where do you draw the line between sane extreme BDSM and extreme BDSM gone wrong and what would make you go to the authorities? Or are the authorities perceived as 'the ones who wouldn't understand'. Should they understand? Would you rather err on the side of caution, or, on the side that you might say later 'I should have'.

5. Based on 4. I have the impression that the authorities want people to report their suspicions because the authorities understand that a victim might not be able to leave/see what is going on. Also, the victim is not held responsible for the abuse occurring. It is the abuser who needs to be stopped. Intervention or at least investigation is therefore necessary. As the victim might not see what is going on, is her/his choice to remain in the situation for you an indication that everything is ok?

6. Is it possible that cultural/societal attitudes towards individualism (e.g. everyone for him/herself) and towards more collective ways of thinking will influence one's responses to the above questions?



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RE: When is interfering acceptable? - 2/12/2011 10:12:03 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		It's none of my business what two people do.
You are assuming that everyone practices ssc. We don't.
As a result, some of the things you would witness from us would look abusive, but in our relationship are quite normal and make us both happy.


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RE: When is interfering acceptable? - 2/12/2011 10:19:01 AM   
ThatDamnedPanda


Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: happylittlepet
1. When is it acceptable to interfere?




There is no valid answer to this or any of your other questions. All you can do is use your own best judgment on a case by case basis. Sometimes you'll be right, sometimes you'll be wrong. Nothing you can do to change that.


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In the forest of the night
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RE: When is interfering acceptable? - 2/12/2011 11:28:31 AM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline 		Very touchy subject in BDSM since some of what goes on with full informed consent could be construed as illegal by law enforcement, with wildly variable results according to current political climate, local opinion, even individual peccadillo.

A Utah woman got life for enticing a 13 year old boy to touch her breasts, while a cop back East got off after ignoring his partners safeword and anally raping her - the whole consent issue, where it begins, and where it ends, etc., is up in the air legally, there is not as yet a large body of case law on the subject, whereas case law and statutory legislation on domestic abuse is pretty well established and often mandatorily enforced.

So, the only non-fuzzy answer I could give you, is that it's acceptable when the person in question requests you to do so.

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RE: When is interfering acceptable? - 2/12/2011 11:45:22 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

When is it acceptable to interfere?

For an outsider, never.
quote:

Whose observation that an interaction between partners/accomplices is not acceptable (i.e. abusive) carries more weight? The observation of a Master/Dom or the observation of a submissive/slave?


Since I, as an outsider, am not part of the interaction, then it matters little what side of the coin I am standing on.
If, instead, you are referring to those who are ACTUALLY involved, then it does not matter who I think is right or wrong. It's not my place to state an opinion.
quote:

What carries more weight: the perception that standards like SSC are broken, your personal standards, or the private agreement between the parties involved?


I care little for how others view the standards of SSC.
My personal standards matter little when in regards to someone elses relationships.
The agreement between the parties, in my opinion, is the only one that matters. AND IF that agreement is broken, then it is up to those involved to straighten things out, no me.
quote:

Here, Ontario, Canada, the law states that anyone who suspects that there is abuse going on has to notify the authorities. Not going to the authorities makes one guilty of omitting to report the suspicion. Because of the repercussions and because they might be wrong, many people hesitate to make a report. Where do you draw the line between sane extreme BDSM and extreme BDSM gone wrong and what would make you go to the authorities? Or are the authorities perceived as 'the ones who wouldn't understand'. Should they understand? Would you rather err on the side of caution, or, on the side that you might say later 'I should have'.


Being in law enforcement, I am very aware of what the law is in regards to abuse and the reporting of such.
However, I never, absolutly never, cross a line that is not mine to cross. If, IF, one of the parties comes to me and states that they wish to make a legal report on 'said abuse', then all I can do is steer them towards the proper channels in doing so. I do NOT become personally involved.
quote:

Based on 4. I have the impression that the authorities want people to report their suspicions because the authorities understand that a victim might not be able to leave/see what is going on. Also, the victim is not held responsible for the abuse occurring. It is the abuser who needs to be stopped. Intervention or at least investigation is therefore necessary. As the victim might not see what is going on, is her/his choice to remain in the situation for you an indication that everything is ok?


I refuse to even comment on the stupidity of the above statements.


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RE: When is interfering acceptable? - 2/12/2011 12:09:32 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Those were two entirely different situations.

I wouldn't say that I would never interfere with an ongoing relationship, but I haven't seen a situation yet where I would.

I would be VERY prone to disrupting a bad scene at a party if I felt that the bottom was being abused.

Scene vs. relationship.  Different.


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RE: When is interfering acceptable? - 2/12/2011 12:16:52 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: happylittlepet

1. When is it acceptable to interfere?


Greetings,

I don't believe in getting involved in other people's relationships. I have no concrete evidence what is occurring behind closed doors and any information I gain by the other party is decidedly one-sided. Furthermore, I operate under the assumption that adults in possession of their mental faculties are capable of making decisions on their own and accepting responsibility when those choices go awry. I'm supportive and have been in close contact with individuals in unfortunate situations, but I'm not inclined to rescue persons that haven't taken concrete steps to aid themselves beforehand.

In terms of BDSM, my relationships are not predicated on SSC or any acronym and I do not assume that my framework is mirrored by my neighbor. They are within their right to practice their form of lifestyle in the manner they deem fitting as long as their decision doesn't infringe upon me, which it never has. From a personal standpoint I think this is a very murky subject and well meaning individuals can ignite their cavalier spirits and have it sorely handed back to them. I cannot expect people to respect the boundaries of my relations if I'm unable to exhibit the same.

To ensure this takes place I'm very conscious of the company kept and avoid needless hysterics and other dramatic scenarios that are mere clusterfucks in the making. I'm also inclined to limit myself to submissive women with a similar mindset that are committed to engaging in relationships that mutually beneficial as defined by the parties in question. As such, discussions like these and other unpleasantness rarely comes to fruition. Challenges exist and different flavors are de rigueur, but one thing remains constant and that is their sense of self and commitment to the dominant and their dynamic.

Nonetheless I applaud those that feel an internal calling to champion the unfortunate but believe their activities are best suited to the legal arena and non profit organizations that serve this populace. Operating outside of the parameters mentioned opens a can of worms that most are ill prepared to swallow. But more than this, I wonder if the innocent parties in their lives (children, friends, companions, etc.) have willingly signed up for the same? When assessing risk and determining if one should get involved be cognizant of the ramifications of the decision made. If the supposed abuser cares little for the victim one can assume he'd care far less about you and yours. And if you're hellbent on protecting the victim I can only wonder who's attending to the unfortunate bystanders in your corner.

Namaste,

~porcelaine


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RE: When is interfering acceptable? - 2/12/2011 12:22:38 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		General reply:

when its acceptable is:

your mother or father
your sister or brother
your son or daughter

They all have known for their lifetimes that you are a fat, nasty, ignorant, opinionated,  nosy cunt trying to make their life miserable, and since you all got to get together for christmas at some point, they will have to forgive you slightly....nobody else will.

Thats the name of that tune. 

(on further reflection, what I mean by general reply is this is a metonomy, or synecdoche if you prefer,  not directed at anyone living or dead)

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 2/12/2011 12:30:29 PM >

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RE: When is interfering acceptable? - 2/12/2011 1:25:05 PM   
ImaginativeWhims


Posts: 81
Joined: 2/8/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Those were two entirely different situations.

I wouldn't say that I would never interfere with an ongoing relationship, but I haven't seen a situation yet where I would.

I would be VERY prone to disrupting a bad scene at a party if I felt that the bottom was being abused.

Scene vs. relationship.  Different.



QFT

Steve's got it here.

The only thing I'd add is this:

If I were invited to come sit in on a personal scene in someone's home/dungeon, or someone asked to come play at mine with their toy... and the sub/slave was screaming the safeword, I'd find myself unable to not say something.

Aside from that, I've helped perform CPR a few times in one night on the same sub that couldn't get enough. Every time he came back to consciousness he ejaculated. Limits? pfft.


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RE: When is interfering acceptable? - 2/12/2011 1:51:13 PM   
strangedesire


Posts: 360
Joined: 12/23/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Those were two entirely different situations.

I wouldn't say that I would never interfere with an ongoing relationship, but I haven't seen a situation yet where I would.

I would be VERY prone to disrupting a bad scene at a party if I felt that the bottom was being abused.

Scene vs. relationship.  Different.



Why are they different, though? If I'm capable of consenting to something in the context of a relationship, aren't I capable of consenting to it in the context of a scene, as well?

I'm not attacking, but this topic in general is extremely interesting to me.


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RE: When is interfering acceptable? - 2/12/2011 1:57:45 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		Hmm...interference is acceptable, in my opinion, when people drag me into their dynamic and make me a party to it. It is doubtful that I'd call the police, but I wouldn't be shy about passing along information on options available to a person I think might be in an abusive situation, up to but not limited to offering them whatever help they need that I can provide.

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 2/12/2011 2:04:37 PM >

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RE: When is interfering acceptable? - 2/12/2011 2:19:21 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Great timing on this one, considering I've just spent the past few weeks working on dungeon rules for a group play space and putting together DM training.  Thanks.  Pffffft!

quote:

ORIGINAL: happylittlepet
1. When is it acceptable to interfere?

In a public play space, it can be acceptable for a DM to interfere in some situations.  If I'm not looking at this as a DM, it's none of My business unless you come to Me asking for My help.

quote:

2. Whose observation that an interaction between partners/accomplices is not acceptable (i.e. abusive) carries more weight? The observation of a Master/Dom or the observation of a submissive/slave?

Whichever comes first.  If either party is actually using the term "abuse" somebody is no longer accepting of the situation.  My advice to anybody who feels they are being abused is to get out.

quote:

3. What carries more weight: the perception that standards like SSC are broken, your personal standards, or the private agreement between the parties involved?

The private agreement to the parties involved.  Who I am to determine SSC for anyone?  I'm a RACK player, Myself.

quote:

4. Here, Ontario, Canada, the law states that anyone who suspects that there is abuse going on has to notify the authorities. Not going to the authorities makes one guilty of omitting to report the suspicion. Because of the repercussions and because they might be wrong, many people hesitate to make a report. Where do you draw the line between sane extreme BDSM and extreme BDSM gone wrong and what would make you go to the authorities? Or are the authorities perceived as 'the ones who wouldn't understand'. Should they understand? Would you rather err on the side of caution, or, on the side that you might say later 'I should have'.

My question back to you would be exactly why are you making the determination for what is abusive for other people?  I can promise you that if you are involved in BDSM, there will always be people who play lighter than you and people who play heavier than you.  Do you really want the people who play lighter than you to decide where the limit for you should be?  Of course you don't!  You want to play in the way that you and your partner decide.

quote:

5. Based on 4. I have the impression that the authorities want people to report their suspicions because the authorities understand that a victim might not be able to leave/see what is going on. Also, the victim is not held responsible for the abuse occurring. It is the abuser who needs to be stopped. Intervention or at least investigation is therefore necessary. As the victim might not see what is going on, is her/his choice to remain in the situation for you an indication that everything is ok?

Really?  Who did you ask?  Let Me give you the perspective from somebody who has done both; been involved in BDSM and also volunteered for domestic violence shelters.

I want people to determine what their own definition of abuse is, ask for help when they have come to the conclusion that their current situation is abusive, and then get the hell out.  It's exactly My involvement in both that makes Me feel this way.

quote:

6. Is it possible that cultural/societal attitudes towards individualism (e.g. everyone for him/herself) and towards more collective ways of thinking will influence one's responses to the above questions?

It might be in My case.  I'll be the first person to say that I don't want people deciding what is best for My dynamic or the way I choose to play.  If he consents and I consent, it's not any outsider's business unless one of us has come to you because we have asked for and need assistance.




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RE: When is interfering acceptable? - 2/12/2011 2:32:14 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline 		I can define safe as being what I perceive as safe for myself and my partner and I can define it as existing within a set of guidelines known as limits (or undeed no limits). Likewise I can define what is sane and hope to cover all future eventualities as consensual. But then I am referring to private bdsm. But as for defining what those terms mean for anyone else: no. In my opinion, unfortuneately the comfort of thoese days is gone. Nor am I employed in any capacity in a public display of play.
And put quite simply: since there is no agreement about what is safe, sane or consensual, then you cannot justify your interference simply on the grounds of saving someone from what you perceive as an abberation of the said safe, sane or consensual.
And I fo most definitely know@ what constitutes insanity, dangerous and non-consenusal is, unfortineately, very easy to define. I know, from bitter experience, the difference between abuse and use. And interference did no good then: I had to learn mysekf, ask for help and support and walk the walk rather than talk the talk.

However, if you need justification then you will find allies outside of any relationship.




< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 2/12/2011 2:42:42 PM >

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RE: When is interfering acceptable? - 2/12/2011 2:43:03 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: happylittlepet

When is interfering acceptable?



When you're asked to interfere. Period.

Some examples...

quote:


SCENARIO 1:

S-Type: Master used me, beat me, and locked me in the closet for 2 hours.

Friend: Really... that seems harsh?!!

S-Type: Nah... it was HAWT !  !  !


* Decision:  Don't interfere.


quote:


SCENARIO 2:

S-Type: Master used me, beat me, and locked me in the closet for 2 hours.

Friend: Really... that seems harsh?!!

S-Type: I thought so... I wish he hadn't.

Friend: What are going to do?

S-Type: Talk to him, of course.

Friend:  Okay, let me know how things go and if you need anything.


* Decision: Don't interfere.


quote:


SCENARIO 3:

S-Type: Master used me, beat me, and locked me in the closet for 2 hours.

Friend: Really... that seems harsh?!!

S-Type: I thought so... I wish he hadn't.  I'd leave if I could, but I can't.

Friend: Why can't you leave?

S-Type: I have no money and no place to go.

Friend: Nonsense... if you want to leave, you're welcome to stay with us if you'd like?

S-Type: Yes, thank you... I would... as soon as possible, please?!!

Friend: You're welcome... let's go get your things.


* Decision: Absolutely interfere... ASAP!!!




< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 2/12/2011 3:12:19 PM >

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RE: When is interfering acceptable? - 2/12/2011 2:56:49 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		This is one of those judgement call type of threads. Ultimately, it's up to you and other people to use their best judgement calls in the matter. I will say this, right or wrong, there will always be somebody who will disagree with you as much as agree. Use your own best judgement, and stand firm in your decisions along with whatever outcomes (good or bad) come out it.

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RE: When is interfering acceptable? - 2/12/2011 3:42:47 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		1. When is it acceptable to interfere?
When the sense of ethics of the person making the decision demands it.

2. Whose observation that an interaction between partners/accomplices is not acceptable (i.e. abusive) carries more weight? The observation of a Master/Dom or the observation of a submissive/slave?
The observation of the person making the decision.

3. What carries more weight: the perception that standards like SSC are broken, your personal standards, or the private agreement between the parties involved?
My personal standards. It's my decision. What other standards could I use?

4. Here, Ontario, Canada, the law states...
This is too complex to answer. There are just SOOO many permutations that I'd need to be in a position to size up the situation in great detail.

5. As the victim might not see what is going on, is her/his choice to remain in the situation for you an indication that everything is ok?
Yes, it's a STRONG indication. In order for me to decide that they are wrong, I'd have to decide that they are incompetent to make decisions for themselves and that's not something I come to easily. It is, however, possible in extreme situations for me to come to that conclusion.

6. Is it possible that cultural/societal attitudes towards individualism (e.g. everyone for him/herself) and towards more collective ways of thinking will influence one's responses to the above questions? Sure, but I think hypocrisy is a lot more likely to influence the decisions. If you don't want to worry about anyone else's opinion, then go live off the grid somewhere. But if you want to rely on the shared structures of a civilization, then you gotta take the good with the bad. All those other damned people are going to have opinions and amazingly enough, they won't always align with your own.

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RE: When is interfering acceptable? - 2/12/2011 4:04:05 PM   
darkenchantment


Posts: 39
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: happylittlepet


For me, there is a disconnect between the responses in these two threads:

BDSM, abuse, and spin  - http://www.collarchat.com/m_3561020/tm.htm

and

Having your limits broken - http://www.collarchat.com/m_3564952/tm.htm


My questions are:

1. When is it acceptable to interfere?

Answer: In any situation in which it is clear that someone is being genuinely abused, as opposed to consensual abuse. and that applies whether they are sub having limits broken, or a slave with no limits. Genuine abuse is not acceptable in any form, IMO.

2. Whose observation that an interaction between partners/accomplices is not acceptable (i.e. abusive) carries more weight? The observation of a Master/Dom or the observation of a submissive/slave?

Answer: Whoever is there to see and take action.

3. What carries more weight: the perception that standards like SSC are broken, your personal standards, or the private agreement between the parties involved?

Answer: it depends! If its a sub, and their limits are being breached, then that's adequate cause to interfere, in my opinion. If its a no limits slave, then its more complicated, unless you know the people involved. But in general, if its clear that someone is suffering excessive distress, or is in a life threatening situation, then some level of intervention is appropriate; if only to double check if all is well!

4. Here, Ontario, Canada, the law states that anyone who suspects that there is abuse going on has to notify the authorities. Not going to the authorities makes one guilty of omitting to report the suspicion. Because of the repercussions and because they might be wrong, many people hesitate to make a report. Where do you draw the line between sane extreme BDSM and extreme BDSM gone wrong and what would make you go to the authorities? Or are the authorities perceived as 'the ones who wouldn't understand'. Should they understand? Would you rather err on the side of caution, or, on the side that you might say later 'I should have'.

Answer: I suppose that, if you have had cause to intervene and your intervention has made it clear that genuine abuse was taking place, then if the law states you tell, you tell! Probably even if it don't! Otherwise you place yourself in a potentially dangerous stituation.

5. Based on 4. I have the impression that the authorities want people to report their suspicions because the authorities understand that a victim might not be able to leave/see what is going on. Also, the victim is not held responsible for the abuse occurring. It is the abuser who needs to be stopped. Intervention or at least investigation is therefore necessary. As the victim might not see what is going on, is her/his choice to remain in the situation for you an indication that everything is ok?

Answer: In vanilla life, no; the victim choosing to remain doesn't say all is well; but no one I know has ever yet persuaded anyone to leave an abusive situation until they themselves actually realised they deserved better. It is very true that in vanilla life, abusers often create such helplessness in their victims to make them practically reliant on them.
In bdsm, more complex, since subs and slaves do have some degree of choice and maybe greater knowledge, hence more opportunity to get out of genuinely abusive situations. But still, if the abuse is genuine, then there should be intervention and at least the suggestion made that it is ok to leave.

6. Is it possible that cultural/societal attitudes towards individualism (e.g. everyone for him/herself) and towards more collective ways of thinking will influence one's responses to the above questions?

Answer: It takes a strong individual with deeply held values to be able to take action that is against the apparent social or group norm. Hence, it is always difficult to be the first to actually take action. Much easier to stand and wait, and hope someone else will take responsibility. Like the undertaker........






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Peace and happiness is the way.

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RE: When is interfering acceptable? - 2/12/2011 4:41:54 PM   
radiantslave


Posts: 5
Joined: 12/31/2010
Status: offline 		Posted by my Master, MasterDarkSadist

1.  Depending on your situation, SSC/RACK do not apply.  For instance, in my situation neither of those apply.  A slave cannot consent, nor is play "safe" or "sane" by the accepted definition.  SSC/RACK never dictated what I did the girls I have played with.  My actions were always dictated by the person I was playing with (everyone has different abilities when it comes to the lifestyle), and protecting my reputation.  SSC/RACK are just ways of trying to make an inherenetly dangerous activity seem safer than it is.  The ONLY thing a sub can do to protect themselves is to play with respected Doms who are known quantities rather than anyone who proclaims that they are Dominants..........skill/experience/reputation are important, and the only measurable, quantifiable way of measuring the safety that they can provide during a scene.

2.  It is not my place to interfere with the interactions between two people who are obviously adults, who are not being forced to participate (you know the difference between "forced because he is  my master" and "forced because he has a gun") in whatever action that they are participating in.  Just because I wouldn't personally do something does not mean that I have the right to enforce that belief on anyone else.

3.  Not applicable within the framework of the above statements.

4.  Again, my business is to conduct myself in a way that brings respect to me and mine.  What I do with my slave can be interpreted as "extreme" by some, and mundane by others.  Mind your own business.  It will be obvious when someone is being abused........broken bones, etc. 

5.  Who are you to decide if one is being abused?  If you saw me interact with my slave with no context for your observation, it could seem like abuse, yet understanding the totality of the situation might bring a different perspective on the situation.  The only suggestion that I can offer is this:  if you see the person you think was abused afterwards, and they are all bent about it, etc......and THEY bring it up that they felt abused....would be when you consider furthering your actions to protect said person. 

Final word:  Would you wish to be responsible for the wrongful incarceration of another because you felt it was your duty to protect them from themselves?  If you proceeded to act as you suggest you would in your post, with regards to my actions with my slave, I would never frequent the establishment that I had met you in, nor would I have any dealings with you in the future.  If you are that squeamish, you need to find a different scene.

< Message edited by radiantslave -- 2/12/2011 4:47:39 PM >

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RE: When is interfering acceptable? - 2/12/2011 5:43:23 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Answer: In any situation in which it is clear that someone is being genuinely abused, as opposed to consensual abuse. and that applies whether they are sub having limits broken, or a slave with no limits. Genuine abuse is not acceptable in any form, IMO.

Hmm. And by WHOSE definition is "genuine" abuse to be defined?
Yours? Mine? Perhaps the person sitting two seats down from me?
quote:

Answer: it depends! If its a sub, and their limits are being breached, then that's adequate cause to interfere, in my opinion.

And from this it is safe to assume, of course, that you, having been notified of such limits, have the right to interfer?
Or are you basing this interference on YOUR perceived 'breaching of said limits'?
quote:

If its a no limits slave, then its more complicated, unless you know the people involved

And why is it more complicated if it is a stranger, and less complicated if it is someone you know? If limits are being breached, according to you, interference is the only action.
quote:

[But in general, if its clear that someone is suffering excessive distress, or is in a life threatening situation, then some level of intervention is appropriate; if only to double check if all is well

I will again ask what I asked above. Have you, and are you, included in ALL discussions and agreements between each and every partner that you come into contact with so that you can adequately make such a judgement call?
quote:

Answer: I suppose that, if you have had cause to intervene and your intervention has made it clear that genuine abuse was taking place, then if the law states you tell, you tell! Probably even if it don't! Otherwise you place yourself in a potentially dangerous stituation.

I refer you to a question already asked.
Who gets to define your 'genuine abuse'?
quote:

since subs and slaves do have some degree of choice and maybe greater knowledge,

I have never heard such a crock of shit in my life.


< Message edited by IrishMist -- 2/12/2011 5:45:37 PM >

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(in reply to darkenchantment)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: When is interfering acceptable? - 2/12/2011 5:51:08 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda

quote:

ORIGINAL: happylittlepet
1. When is it acceptable to interfere?




There is no valid answer to this or any of your other questions. All you can do is use your own best judgment on a case by case basis. Sometimes you'll be right, sometimes you'll be wrong. Nothing you can do to change that.



Pretty much.

The times I've been concerned I have spoken to the possible victim directly. The only time I ever alerted authorities out of concern for a friend, I was dressed down by the person in question, their family and their partner. Nowadays, unless I was sure it's unlikely I would contact authorities unless I was doing so on their behalf or there were children involved who I was concerned for. My usual approach is make sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they know I will be there for them and will help them get out on a moment's notice and all they have to do is call.


_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to ThatDamnedPanda)
Profile   Post #: 20
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