quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

oh man...if he's cheatin' on us behind FT's back, then he's in for the slurpin' of his life!

1. Find the local whore who also has a reputation for being an outrageous liar. When she narcs you off just deny it and say the crazy bitch had a flat tire and all you did was help her change it.
   
2. Female clergy are an untapped resource. Make sure you stop by for one on one counseling, have a laundry list of shit that needs blessed with the sacramental wine and you are in like Flynn. Odds are very good she isn't going to say shit to anyone and you can go back and hit it anytime you want. If she does tell anyone, make sure you let them all know that you fainted in the confessional and woke up with her riding the pony. If she tells no one and you return to tap that ass and she refuses, threaten to tell the world and mention the video you shot on your cell phone. The wife/girlfriend may question why you smell like frankincense and Myrrh, just tell them you found god. They will believe you because we all know pussy is divine.
   
3. The nursing homes are full of women that are so grateful that you are checking the tread they will most likely do you laundry as you shower.

1. Sign up for a gig watching cattle and sheep on Brokeback Mountain. Your wife/girlfriend will assume that you are just living out your cowboy fantasies and wont bother looking for you.
   
2. Sign up to be an alter boy or join the choir. If that doesn’t satisfy your twink, there is something wrong... bad wrong with the priest.
   
3. There is always a interstate rest stop within a reasonable driving distance. Make sure you tell the wife/girlfriend you had to break in the fresh oil in the car.

1. After banging the local whore, stop by and visit your buddy from Brokeback Mountain. When you get home the wife/girlfriend will ask what the peculiar smell is, just tell her/them you had bad fish for lunch and shit yourself.
   
2. The myriad of smells from the nun and priest can easily by over powered by the aforementioned frankincense and myrrh. I am confident that the mixture of quim, cum and incense would be an overwhelming scent. Simply send the wife/girlfriend out for tomato juice to contend with the rabid skunk that assaulted you on your walk through the park.
   
3. Get a meals on wheels magnetic sign to successfully triumph over article 3 in phase 1 and 2.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

well you could just tell the submissive that to be a true submissive she has to stay locked in the basement for 12 hours a day; even if she doesn't live you. make sure she doesnt come out for anything -- she has to learn to be a true submissive and focus on her slaveheart and rely on you for basic needs like food and water.
you'll have to bring it over to her obviously, but that wouldn't take up much of your time.

make sure she doesnt have a computer down there.

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

It's a conspiracy!! I knew it!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tantriqu

We know you're kidding, 'cuz we've seen the pic of you in the baggy white li'l boy monogamy/chastity underpants; anyone wearing those ain't gunna be cheatin' on nobody.