|
LaTigresse -> RE: Total Power Exchange - is there really such a thing? (2/27/2011 5:09:45 AM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Palliata
quote:
ORIGINAL: DesFIP
quote:
ORIGINAL: Palliata
Personally I think that if the people involved are compatible enough then something like that can be a beautiful thing, but it is extremely risky because if things go south the sub is going to have a great deal of trouble returning to solo life even if their M lets them.
Which is no different than two vanillas who have lived and loved for 50 years at which point one dies. The survivor has enormous difficulty returning to solo life.
The husband may have always paid the bills and now the wife has to relearn how to balance a checkbook. The wife may have always cooked and now the grieving husband has to learn how to feed himself.
Any good fulltime relationship will end like this with one party in extreme difficulty at having to carry on alone.
Certainly there's a parallel, but I think there's a greater depth of dependency in a relationship like the one the OP was describing - the slave has literally given over their entire decision-making paradigm to their M, and by the time they are back on their own everything in their life is different. Not unrecoverable, by any means, but challenging. Is it worth it? No doubt, if it's your thing, but it pays to be aware of the consequences beforehand.
Bullocks to the idea that somehow a defined power exchange relationship is more vulnerable than a non defined 'vanilla' relationship. I've seen too many, so called vanilla, relationships blow up where there was no less devastation than would be in a non vanilla relationship. Quite honestly I think it is ridiculous, this habit we all have, in thinking that our style of relationship is somehow more special, deeper, more edgy or whateverthefuck romanticized descriptive we want to attach to it in our heads to make ourselves feel somehow better than those poor vanilla people.
In December, a friend of mine died. His wife, her life, is completely and utterly changed......as anyone with that many years of marriage would be. She had noooooooooo clue of their finances, didn't even know where her husband kept the safe deposit key. She has fought with the bank, the accounting firm that has handled their finances for years, family and friends, out of frustration and devastation.....her world crumbled on December 23, 2010. It was not a defined power exchange, it was a typical 40+ year, vanilla marriage. She handled some things, he handled others. Those things were divided up year ago, through the same trials and tribulations most marriages go through and get issues worked out. Determined by individual strengths and weaknesses, interests, and likes and dislikes. It is an organic process. A process where two individuals, over time, became one working unit. Regardless of lack of kink or some defined power structure, when one part of that unit is seperated from the other.......there is going to be loss, perhaps devastation.
What we do, it isn't all that special. If anything in our defined, and hopefully communicated, power structure....we take a few shortcuts in what marriages like my friends' worked out over years together. Just because it's different in some ways doesn't make it better or worse, more or less devastating when it ends. It is simply a different relationship style. No more, no less.
|
|
|
|
