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RE: lil confused - 2/15/2011 8:34:38 AM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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Do you understand the concept of spam mail? Spam is sent to you without request. It arrives whether or not you wish to see it. It might sit on your counter or in your email, unopened because you did not request it. I might not need a coupon for hair conditioner. I might not want 5 new offers for a lube job. I may not ever use that coupon for Little Caesar's pizza.. but the spam still shows up. And someone might not want to get unsolicited mail from someone they do not know simply because they have a presense on a kink site.
No answer, or deleted unread, IS an answer.
It means they are not interested.

< Message edited by Missokyst -- 2/15/2011 8:35:21 AM >

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RE: lil confused - 2/15/2011 8:53:36 AM

peppermint

Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
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I can give you one really good reason why I would never reply to you if I got a Cmail. You are a plagiarist. I find that dispicable. It wouldn't be so bad IF you did acknowledge that what you wrote was not your words as some do and write "author unknown". No, you put it on your profile and claim it is YOUR motto. To me that makes you not a Dominant, not trustworthy, and not worth even a teeny tiny bit of any sort of respect.

Take your whiny self online. Do 2 minutes of research. Find the author that you plagiarized and do the proper and right thing. Give the author the respect you wish strangers to give to you.

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RE: lil confused - 2/15/2011 10:30:10 AM

DesFIP

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Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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I'm betting you aren't reading the profiles of the women you write to. They state age requirements and that the man not be married or otherwise involved and you're ignoring that. They also have their mail filters set to eliminate men who are married or older than they want.

Beyond that, men who get rejected get nasty. If we don't respond, we don't hear from them again. If we do respond politely saying no, then one in five will send back a nasty note. Being told "your (sic) too fat to fuck anyway" is the mildest. Explicit statements of how he wants to kill you are the worst. We don't answer and we don't get creeps telling us how they plan to cut us to bits. It's that simple.

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RE: lil confused - 2/15/2011 10:37:23 AM

windchymes

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Joined: 4/18/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I'm betting you aren't reading the profiles of the women you write to. They state age requirements and that the man not be married or otherwise involved and you're ignoring that. They also have their mail filters set to eliminate men who are married or older than they want.

Beyond that, men who get rejected get nasty. If we don't respond, we don't hear from them again. If we do respond politely saying no, then one in five will send back a nasty note. Being told "your (sic) too fat to fuck anyway" is the mildest. Explicit statements of how he wants to kill you are the worst. We don't answer and we don't get creeps telling us how they plan to cut us to bits. It's that simple.

That's not entirely true, either :) Once I had a guy rip me a new one, and I'm talking paragraph after paragraph, because I didn't write back right after reading his email. Funny thing was, I WAS interested, and planned to write back after I got home from work, since I had read the email right before leaving. Then, after I did write back and told him my original intent, but how I wasn't interested now (and that's the nice version), he wrote more paragraphs berating himself for his own stupidity and woe is him, he'll never find anyone until he learns not to act that way, blahblah blah.

Some days, you just can't win, lol.

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RE: lil confused - 2/15/2011 10:40:00 AM

windchymes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FukinTroll

make sure that if you think sticking a feather duster up your ass makes you a chicken that your potential farm girl likes the way you think.

YMMV

Okay, now that's funny.......

*eyeing my Swiffer 360*.....

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RE: lil confused - 2/15/2011 10:46:38 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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I wonder if there is a way we can just cut and paste our replies to posts like this.

Because it is really getting BORING to hear the same complaints and whines over and over and over again.

It is almost not worth being snarky anymore because they just keep a'coming. If I am going to give some good snark, I would at least like a more entertaining post to snark at.

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RE: lil confused - 2/15/2011 10:58:24 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Beyond that, men who get rejected get nasty. If we don't respond, we don't hear from them again. If we do respond politely saying no, then one in five will send back a nasty note. Being told "your (sic) too fat to fuck anyway" is the mildest. Explicit statements of how he wants to kill you are the worst. We don't answer and we don't get creeps telling us how they plan to cut us to bits. It's that simple.

I agree with part of this and some I don't. The part about how they won't write again isn't necessarily correct. Many of them will, if for no other reason than they don't remember that they've written to you before. That's including folks that have already been rejected. You'd think they'd use that nice little space that the site provides specifically to allow for 'making notes about this member' to keep track of who they have contacted or not, but they really don't.

Yes, some people do get nasty when rejected. Even then they will let a couple of months pass by and try writing again. I used to send the mail history back to them when that happened to show them exactly what they've sent in the past. I thought it was funny as hell.

These days, I just block anybody who writes to Me that I'm not interested in. What I find comical are those folks who will come on the boards and insinuate that I'm not Dominant for doing so. Odd. I'm taking control of the situation by not allowing people to pester Me and it's supposedly Me who isn't Dominant. LOL.

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RE: lil confused - 2/15/2011 11:12:50 AM

Nanako

Posts: 222
Joined: 2/7/2011
From: Glasgow, Scotland
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maybe it would be possible to help out both sides of this debate.

The existing canned responses are already a useful tool. Perhaps more automation could be incorporated, such as the ability to write an autoreply which is sent to anyone whose mail gets filtered out by your settings, perhaps something like:

"Hello. This is an automated message. The mail you sent to be has not been read because you do not fit the profile of the type of person I am seeking. Please read profiles more carefully in future! Any future mail will not be read either so replying to this is a waste of yourt time.. Regards, <username>"

then appropriately using the mail controls to filter out unsuitable people, could help a lot with the flooding. I've hada look at the bulk mail controls though and they do seem a bit lacking in functionality. Certainly more options are needed there

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RE: lil confused - 2/15/2011 11:32:19 AM

tiggerspoohbear

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Nanako, there is an auto-respond button. But even if the msg as you suggested was incorporated, then we'd still be responding to their msg. And yes, there's a distinct possibility you'd get a nasty msg back. Doesn't matter what we do as females, can't win for losing.

My profile for example says I'm looking for nothing but a monogamous relationship and that I'm straight. I often get messages from married men looking for a 3rd. What part of "monogamous" is not understood? Or married men who are looking for a bit on the side, or the ever-ggrrrr that they're in an open relationship. Really? You're going to let me verify that with your wife? And if you are, I'm still going to be on my own for the major holidays, his vacation will include his family, not me.

So, sometimes a thanks but no thanks is sent. At other times, I know they didn't bother to read my profile, and other times, if I'm in a mood, then they get the snarkastic response. And other times I just hover over the nic before I even open the msg, block and delete the msg unread after I've read their profile to see that we really aren't compatible.

I've had men show interest, but as soon as they find out I suffer from clinical depression, then they don't even bother answering anymore. Well, DUH, it's in my damn profile already. And asking me if the meds have kicked in, that earns a snarky response. Yuh huh, I took the meds for 2 wks, after 10 yrs + I'm miraculously "cured".

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RE: lil confused - 2/15/2011 11:41:54 AM

LadyPact

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I don't think they are particularly needed, though they might be wanted by those who feel the need to be coddled just because they didn't get a response.

I actually don't have any of My bulk mail preferences set up. The reason for this is that I don't feel that I should be penalized or cater to other people who send random emails. I'm much more concerned with the person that I want to talk to from the UK because we have friendly discussions not going to My bulk folder than some guy who decided to spam Me from Ireland. If the latter can't handle the idea that no response will be sent, maybe they should take the time to read the profile, rather than just mail anybody and everybody.

Nobody here has an obligation to anyone just because they decided to send an email. That includes Me patting folks on the head with an automated message to repeat what I've already been very specific about in My profile text. There is no justified entitlement to a response just because somebody can't hack the no response method.

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The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: lil confused - 2/15/2011 12:18:25 PM

Nanako

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Joined: 2/7/2011
From: Glasgow, Scotland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tiggerspoohbear

Nanako, there is an auto-respond button. But even if the msg as you suggested was incorporated, then we'd still be responding to their msg. And yes, there's a distinct possibility you'd get a nasty msg back. Doesn't matter what we do as females, can't win for losing.

You can block them. Whenever I gt hit on by people who are clearly nowhere near suitable, I send back a polite rejection and block them. Then there's 0% possibility of getting a nasty message back

I know nobody has an obligation to respond, but it's nice to do if you can. I try my best to be nice, and I think it would be good for the site's features to make it easier for other people to be nice, too. Again, blocking prevents people from taking your niceness as "hope" and attempting to continue the conversation which is inevitably a dead end. Ultimately, if you don't want to respond, then don't. But if you do want to respond, but find it hard because of the workload, then enhanced features could help.

It would be interesting to know from the admins, if the overall initial message response rate has significantly increased since the introduction of those one-button-canned-responses.

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