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how to get a man's passion back? - 2/14/2011 10:17:24 PM

DomForce

Posts: 31
Joined: 2/27/2006
Status: offline

Hello all,

Dominant female here. I would like to think, that I am a very functional, normal person, who likes to have things done her way. I have a fab marriage. My partner is genuinely my best friend, and advisor (and vice versa). We are both great, good looking, professionals, very independent, making more than enough money to live on so financially we are very comfortable.

We do all the fun things in life, so we are never bored! We are very busy together having fun. However, it is not sexually. Every other way, but not sexually.

My question in here is:

When you have a man, who has EVERYTHING (house, car, job, gorgeous wife, exciting life, great mates, cool parties etc), HOW DO YOU GET HIM INTERESTED IN HIS OWN WIFE AGAIN? (wife is a blonde, glamorous, sexy lady.)

Dominant woman here is not dealing with being rejected very well. Any suggestions as to what to change on or what to do?

Thanks for reading my post. All genuine replies are welcome.

Post #: 1

RE: how to get a man's passion back? - 2/14/2011 10:22:07 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

Maybe he wants to drift to the "submissive" side... and Im not referring to him being submissive.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to DomForce)

Post #: 2

RE: how to get a man's passion back? - 2/14/2011 10:24:24 PM

DomForce

Posts: 31
Joined: 2/27/2006
Status: offline

You are all either fast asleep or this is the most boring topics for you all.

All right then, leave it. Thanks for reading. Take care.

(in reply to DomForce)

Post #: 3

RE: how to get a man's passion back? - 2/14/2011 10:25:53 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

Impatient little thang, aint ya.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to DomForce)

Post #: 4

RE: how to get a man's passion back? - 2/14/2011 10:29:16 PM

DomForce

Posts: 31
Joined: 2/27/2006
Status: offline

oh sorry, I didn't realise you have actually bothered to reply. Thank you so much. However, he is not bothered about the sub/dom thing between us. I am more bothered about it than anyone else. When I get upset, unfortunately, my genuine dominant side starts to take over, causing me real problems with solving day-to-day situations.

That means, I get upset, and then I see "red". Then I guess I wound myself up and I keep doing it for days. I'd love to be able to loose that "Domme Sh1t" because I think it is interfering with my life.

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 5

RE: how to get a man's passion back? - 2/14/2011 10:30:52 PM

DomForce

Posts: 31
Joined: 2/27/2006
Status: offline

I am

, aren't I? Sorry. I did not mean to be a bitch. It just happens. Naturally. Anyway, thank you for reading my post and for bothering to reply. (I am now bowing)

< Message edited by DomForce -- 2/14/2011 10:32:33 PM >

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 6

RE: how to get a man's passion back? - 2/14/2011 10:31:12 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

No sex tells me it may be bothering him as well. No doubt, your pictures are hot. You speak as if the two of you are best friends and that you have fun together.

Another thought... how old is he and, frankly, is he having trouble in that department?

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to DomForce)

Post #: 7

RE: how to get a man's passion back? - 2/14/2011 10:35:38 PM

DomForce

Posts: 31
Joined: 2/27/2006
Status: offline

Thank you for your reply. I am no longer sure what he has or he has not trouble with.
1) Let's say he has trouble: Then what? Shall I say something? It already bothers him that I constantly complain about the lack of sex.

2) What if he has no trouble: then what?

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 8

RE: how to get a man's passion back? - 2/14/2011 10:43:30 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

If its one.... viagra.. and understanding. Could be a medical issue, such as hypertension or diabetes. A Dr's appointment would be warranted. What he wouldnt need is someone nagging him over something he cant give (if impotence is his problem).

If its number two... a very long, serious discussion should ensue. You arent happy, and if you are nagging him, Im sure he isnt either.

Look, you are hot, no doubt. But being hot, sexy, blonde, rich... all those things may not be enough to turn him on anymore. Pressuring a man into sex who isnt submissive is only going to backfire. If the problem is he isnt interested, you need to find out why. Asking us wont help you, or him.

Sounds a bit like you two are friends, but you are drifting apart. Some serious talks need to be had.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to DomForce)

Post #: 9

RE: how to get a man's passion back? - 2/14/2011 10:54:01 PM

DomForce

Posts: 31
Joined: 2/27/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

"If its one.... viagra.. and understanding. Could be a medical issue, such as hypertension or diabetes. A Dr's appointment would be warranted. What he wouldnt need is someone nagging him over something he cant give (if impotence is his problem)."

You are so right, he actually has a medical problem. It is something to do with his thyroids, and it is not easy for him to deal with. He has pills, but I think he is due for another visit to his specialist, because his condition is now really kicking in. You are absolutely right. The last thing he needs is his partner nagging him. Thank you for pointing it out to me. I will remember it, and will not nag him again.

tazzygirl: "If its number two... a very long, serious discussion should ensue. You arent happy, and if you are nagging him, Im sure he isnt either.

Look, you are hot, no doubt. But being hot, sexy, blonde, rich... all those things may not be enough to turn him on anymore. Pressuring a man into sex who isnt submissive is only going to backfire. "

You are so right. I tried it, and obviously backfired. It is awful, so I do not recommend it to anyone at all!

tazzygirl: "If the problem is he isnt interested, you need to find out why. Asking us wont help you, or him."

I thought I could get some advice from people who understand me. Hence I am on Collarme. I am already getting amazing advice from you and from other people just by answering. I am very open to ideas as long as they don't question my feelings to him or my abilities to look good. (hm, maybe not good enough for him... would be interesting to find out what he finds sexy...)

tazzygirl: "Sounds a bit like you two are friends, but you are drifting apart. Some serious talks need to be had. "

I would like to make it easy for him. Do you have any ideas as to how to phrase it nicely at all? Or perhaps I should just give him a lot of help and support and see what happens? I love him so much. I want him to be ok again. I should just shut my mouth and be there for him, when he needs me.

Thanks for your replies. Much appreciated.

< Message edited by DomForce -- 2/14/2011 11:01:23 PM >

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 10

RE: how to get a man's passion back? - 2/14/2011 10:58:55 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

I would start with a physical... make the appointment... then go with him. Explain that you are concerned about his health. That the lack of desire is linked to many health problems and you only wish for him to be happy and healthy. No nagging allowed.

If he passes that, then the issue isnt medical, but psychological. Perhaps counceling with a kink friendly therapist may help. But, remember, he will only do what he wants to do. If he doesnt want sex... he will make no efforts to discover the problem. And, within that may lie your answer.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to DomForce)

Post #: 11

RE: how to get a man's passion back? - 2/14/2011 11:06:52 PM

DomForce

Posts: 31
Joined: 2/27/2006
Status: offline

hm... you make sense....

I think you are right.

I need to think about possible solutions.

I want to stay with him. I want to be there for him. However, I cannot take any insults in public or any crap from him, because that's when my dominant side kicks in and I get very upset.

Thank you for your reply. You are wonderful.

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 12

RE: how to get a man's passion back? - 2/14/2011 11:11:08 PM

FukinTroll

Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomForce

I am , aren't I? Sorry. I did not mean to be a bitch. It just happens. Naturally. Anyway, thank you for reading my post and for bothering to reply. (I am now bowing)

My guess this ^ is the problem.

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I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to DomForce)

Post #: 13

RE: how to get a man's passion back? - 2/14/2011 11:12:45 PM

ThePeripatetic

Posts: 139
Joined: 12/21/2010
Status: offline

I agree with tazzygirl that some serious communication needs to take place to get to the root of the issues. I would venture that this is the number one piece of advice you could hope to gain from these forums and the one you should pay the most heed to.

But just a quick thought that I had, is he pretty comfortable with the professional domination service you run? I could easily see this causing some internal tension for a guy/submissive.

_____________________________

"The Journey is the Destination" - Dan Eldon (One of my heroes. R.I.P.)

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Post #: 14

RE: how to get a man's passion back? - 2/14/2011 11:13:30 PM

rajaa

Posts: 34
Joined: 9/21/2005
From: edmonton, alberta
Status: offline

i am going through the very same thing... it has been a year now... maybe longer since we have had any sexual contact. nothing seems to excite him anymore... and there for doesn't bother putting in any effort. there really isn't anything i haven't tried. he knows that i have needs and allows me to play with Others when i want. i haven't in a very long time. i honestly don't think there is anything i can do. it is his choice not to even try anymore... i feel for you.

(in reply to DomForce)

Post #: 15

RE: how to get a man's passion back? - 2/14/2011 11:19:47 PM

oceanwynds2

Posts: 66
Joined: 1/8/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomForce
It already bothers him that I constantly complain about the lack of sex.

[/b

]That only intensifies the problem. Nagging and complaining will do more damage than anything else.

(in reply to DomForce)

Post #: 16

RE: how to get a man's passion back? - 2/14/2011 11:21:43 PM

defiantbadgirl

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

OP how long have you been married?

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Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.

Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to DomForce)

Post #: 17

RE: how to get a man's passion back? - 2/14/2011 11:22:02 PM

rajaa

Posts: 34
Joined: 9/21/2005
From: edmonton, alberta
Status: offline

i have noticed... and have stopped even bringing it up.

(in reply to oceanwynds2)

Post #: 18

RE: how to get a man's passion back? - 2/14/2011 11:25:16 PM

oceanwynds2

Posts: 66
Joined: 1/8/2011
Status: offline

Yes, rajaa
All they see is a person who is ready to attack them over the same thing. The go on the offensive and put walls around themselves. They don't see their so as anything but a nag.

(in reply to rajaa)

Post #: 19

RE: how to get a man's passion back? - 2/14/2011 11:29:04 PM

DomForce

Posts: 31
Joined: 2/27/2006
Status: offline

But just a quick thought that I had, is he pretty comfortable with the professional domination service you run? I could easily see this causing some internal tension for a guy/submissive.
[/quote]

Yes, he is. He knows exactly what I do, he has seen it all and comfortable with the level of service I offer. (Well, having said that, I don't actually offer any sexual services, no hand relieve, no nothing. So, he has seen it, and to be honest, I actually don't offer fukc, all in terms of sexual services. I specialise in skilled bondage, domination and all bdsm stuff that requires skills and knowledge. Funny enough, all my clients are very happy with it, and happily agree to my conditions and restrictions. They normally leave happy. Never any complaints. Mainly, because I make it very clear with everyone what I offer. It works, and my husband respects it. He has no issues about it what so ever. Neither my parents.

(in reply to ThePeripatetic)

Post #: 20

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