RE: Are They fucking joking or something?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Are They fucking joking or something?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> RE: Are They fucking joking or something?

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Are They fucking joking or something? - 2/19/2011 1:12:42 PM

discreethusband

Posts: 52
Joined: 3/3/2009
Status: offline

quote:

It's not a demand, it's a request which can be refused

Yes, but that is what a demand is, hence the phrase "meet my demands". It's a cohesive contract where the bargain is "take it, or leave it" effectively making any bargaining power on the part of the sub illusory, and that in essence is contrary to how relationships are formed. Again, the problem is not that the the pro requires "tribute", but that there is a fundamental difference between someone who acts as a dom for money and one who does it for sexual gratification. (I'm not saying you can't be sexual gratified and do it for money, but there's a difference between one who does so for money, and one who does so without concern for money.)

And of course "far too many" is subjective. By virtue of the fact of the subject matter at hand, it has to be subjective because we're talking about the population of CM. But it seems rather clear that the OP is not looking for a pro dom in the first place, so obviously a pro dom shouldn't care, just as much as he shouldn't care about paying tribute to one.

As far as shifting the ratio goes, I'm not even remotely concerned about whether there are enough non pros, or what have you. My point has been from the get go that I can understand the frustration of searching for what feels like a needle in the haystack.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 41

RE: Are They fucking joking or something? - 2/19/2011 1:22:18 PM

discreethusband

Posts: 52
Joined: 3/3/2009
Status: offline

quote:

His profile says he's a Dom looking for a sub woman to cheat with, but his posts here seem to indicate that he's a sub looking for a Dominant woman.

Has reading comprehension suffered so much that a simple statement such as "Arguing from a male sub perspective who is in search of a relationship with a dominant female", which is my own statement, is taken to mean "I am a male sub looking for a dom female"?!? One does not need to subscribe to a certain opinion or perspective to argue in favor of said opinion.

My own personal preference is more than mere perspective. I don't need to be sub to empathize with one, nor to look at things from his/her perspective. Rather, the ability to do so is crucial to being a worthwhile dom imo. Otherwise you're just a greedy, self-centered fuck, only concerned with getting your own rocks off.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 42

RE: Are They fucking joking or something? - 2/19/2011 1:27:49 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: discreethusband

quote:

It's not a demand, it's a request which can be refused
Yes, but that is what a demand is, hence the phrase "meet my demands". It's a cohesive contract where the bargain is "take it, or leave it" effectively making any bargaining power on the part of the sub illusory, and that in essence is contrary to how relationships are formed. Again, the problem is not that the the pro requires "tribute", but that there is a fundamental difference between someone who acts as a dom for money and one who does it for sexual gratification. (I'm not saying you can't be sexual gratified and do it for money, but there's a difference between one who does so for money, and one who does so without concern for money.)

And here you have me confused.

I can buy an orange for a quarter at the local store. I can get a lawyer at $150 an hour. I can get a RE agent to sell my home for 6% of its selling price. There are all BUSINESS transactions, and the fact that the prices are fixed is not an issue. I can take the terms or leave them.

In PERSONAL relationships, you get a person, flaws and all, and there will be discussion, negotiation, etc.

You acknowledge the fact that a pro Domme is a business deal rather than a relationship but somehow think that this is wrong, that it should be more like a relationship than a business deal. Why?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to discreethusband)

Post #: 43

RE: Are They fucking joking or something? - 2/19/2011 1:36:05 PM

JstAnotherSub

Posts: 6174
Status: offline

You can get an orange for a quarter? Gawd stuff is high here!

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 44

RE: Are They fucking joking or something? - 2/19/2011 1:43:11 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: discreethusband

Yes, but that is what a demand is, hence the phrase "meet my demands". It's a cohesive contract where the bargain is "take it, or leave it" effectively making any bargaining power on the part of the sub illusory, and that in essence is contrary to how relationships are formed.

Take it or leave it is the essence of my life in slavery. Do you require submissives to meet your demands or take a hike? Your profile indicates that you do the same thing.. it's just that your demand is for something other than money. What's the difference?

quote:

Again, the problem is not that the the pro requires "tribute", but that there is a fundamental difference between someone who acts as a dom for money and one who does it for sexual gratification. (I'm not saying you can't be sexual gratified and do it for money, but there's a difference between one who does so for money, and one who does so without concern for money.)

I disagree. The main thrust of the OP is that the problem is money and the poor innocent submissive males who are getting used by pros to empty their wallets when it seems to me that if you keep your brain full with realistic expectations and just pass by those with whom you are not compatible, the problem is solved.

quote:

And of course "far too many" is subjective. By virtue of the fact of the subject matter at hand, it has to be subjective because we're talking about the population of CM. But it seems rather clear that the OP is not looking for a pro dom in the first place, so obviously a pro dom shouldn't care, just as much as he shouldn't care about paying tribute to one.

And yet the OP did start the thread so he obviously does care. That's what I don't get. What was the purpose in starting the thread at all if it's just a rant about all the folks who aren't compatible with him. Most of the non-pros won't be compatible with him either. There is a whole lot of luck in finding a good partner and many of us have had to shift through the haystacks to find the needle. Took me 15 years.. others will find what they seek sooner and still others much later. Complaining about it without having the ability to do anything about it seems counter-productive and not the way to find what you seek.

quote:

As far as shifting the ratio goes, I'm not even remotely concerned about whether there are enough non pros, or what have you. My point has been from the get go that I can understand the frustration of searching for what feels like a needle in the haystack.

A lot of people go through the same thing and, yes, it's frustrating when gratification (whether for a session or a life long committment) is delayed but it's also just a part of life. Adults tend to recognize the futility of trying to put square pegs into round holes and turn to more productive endeavors. The OP suggested that folks get out to their local communities to find what they seek. That's good advice and could have been the theme of the thread from the beginning without all the drama about the pros he doesn't want to interact with anyway.

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 2/19/2011 1:45:21 PM >

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to discreethusband)

Post #: 45

RE: Are They fucking joking or something? - 2/19/2011 1:44:41 PM

discreethusband

Posts: 52
Joined: 3/3/2009
Status: offline

quote:

You acknowledge the fact that a pro Domme is a business deal rather than a relationship but somehow think that this is wrong, that it should be more like a relationship than a business deal. Why?

No, no, no, no, no, no. At no point in time have I said it's wrong, nor am I insinuating any such thing. I'm simply pointing out, which you have gathered, that it is a business arrangement, and that is not what the OP appears to be seeking. Again, I am simply stating that I can understand, appreciated, empathize, with his frustrations under the circumstances.

Let me be perfectly clear on this point, I have NO objection to pro dom's offering their services, nor with anyone purchasing services. To each their own, so long as no one's rights are violated.

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)

Post #: 46

RE: Are They fucking joking or something? - 2/19/2011 1:54:21 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: discreethusband

Let me be perfectly clear on this point, I have NO objection to pro dom's offering their services, nor with anyone purchasing services. To each their own, so long as no one's rights are violated.

Then we are in agreement although I fail to see how someone making a request which can be denied would stand a snowballs chance of violating someone their rights. Fodder for a different thread though.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to discreethusband)

Post #: 47

RE: Are They fucking joking or something? - 2/19/2011 1:55:09 PM

discreethusband

Posts: 52
Joined: 3/3/2009
Status: offline

The difference is sought after, bargained for exchange, but I absolutely agree, there's no difference between a pro dom who demands tribute and anyone else who demands certain criteria prior to beginning a relationship. That's what being demanding is. And while I disagree with you as far as the OP's intent, I couldn't agree more with the simple suggestion that if he doesn't like it, just move on. That's the rational, obvious response.

As far as the OP caring, I'm not the OP. Why were you directing the commentary to me? I wasn't concerned, nor giving any consideration towards the issue that you raised.

(in reply to discreethusband)

Post #: 48

RE: Are They fucking joking or something? - 2/19/2011 1:57:06 PM

discreethusband

Posts: 52
Joined: 3/3/2009
Status: offline

quote:

I fail to see how someone making a request which can be denied would stand a snowballs chance of violating someone their rights

Lol, it wouldn't violate anyone's rights. I'm saying that's generally the philosophy I prescribe to allowing people to do as they wish, how they wish. It's all good, so long as no one's rights are violated.

(in reply to discreethusband)

Post #: 49

RE: Are They fucking joking or something? - 2/19/2011 2:02:55 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: discreethusband

quote:

I fail to see how someone making a request which can be denied would stand a snowballs chance of violating someone their rights

Lol, it wouldn't violate anyone's rights. I'm saying that's generally the philosophy I prescribe to allowing people to do as they wish, how they wish. It's all good, so long as no one's rights are violated.

My bad. The context of the discussion was tribute so when you put that extra sentence in there, I thought it was still in that context. No harm, no foul. We are in agreement actually and I do empathize with the OPs frustration but still fail to see the point in creating a thread about it that comes across, to me at least, as drama when there was potential for something more. I'm a hopeless optimist.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to discreethusband)

Post #: 50

RE: Are They fucking joking or something? - 2/19/2011 2:23:21 PM

NocturnalStalker

Posts: 3858
Joined: 12/4/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubmissiveSam88

Ok, I am fairly new to the scene, for a start off, I prefer to meet people in real life, like at a MUNCH etc, but I feel sorry for all of the subs that actually browse for mistress' and Domme's. What the fuck is a tribute!!?? since when have subs had to pay to get humiliated online by someone who is just trying to rinse some cash off them. I was browsing the profiles, as you do, and its almost all Domme's ASKING for money or gifts. WTF! ok, I am all for pleasing a woman, but paying them, when you probably wont even meet them?! Go and get involved in your local scene, where everyone is genuine and its FREE! I am not talking about booking a session with a dominatrix here, thats a different story, fair game, but to con a gullible young sub out of there hard earned cash is an absolute sham. I don't even think that half the people are really the person in the pic anyhow. I am not saying there arent any genuine Domme's and mistress' on here, you know who you are, but the scammers outweigh the Dommes thats for sure. It just annoys me that the moderators don't do anything about it.

Sorry, just a rant here, had to get it out of me. f**life seems more true, join that.

NEW & EXCITING NOW WITH EXCLAMATIONS!!!!

_____________________________

"The road I walk is paved in gold to glorify my platinum soul."

(in reply to SubmissiveSam88)

Post #: 51

RE: Are They fucking joking or something? - 2/19/2011 4:07:04 PM

strangedesire

Posts: 360
Joined: 12/23/2008
Status: offline

discreethusband, I have this sense that the OP believes that if Pros weren't doing it for money, they would be on here as lifestyle Dommes. Frankly, that doesn't mesh with my understanding of these things at all. Plenty of Pros are also lifestyle, but they tend to want rather different things. The "Pro mask" is like porn - it isn't real, and if Pros stopped working, there would be no exodus of women like these to the non-paying side of the lifestyle. Do you agree with him? Because that kind of thinking makes this argument make sense.

quote:

It's a cohesive contract where the bargain is "take it, or leave it" effectively making any bargaining power on the part of the sub illusory, and that in essence is contrary to how relationships are formed.

Pro Dommes aren't looking for relationships, at least not in the personal sense. They're looking for exactly the same kind of relationship that you have with your accountant: a business relationship.

OK, reading further,

quote:

At no point in time have I said it's wrong, nor am I insinuating any such thing. I'm simply pointing out, which you have gathered, that it is a business arrangement, and that is not what the OP appears to be seeking. Again, I am simply stating that I can understand, appreciated, empathize, with his frustrations under the circumstances.

If I posted the same argument about the prevalence of male doms on CollarMe, would you respond with such sympathy? There are people out there. They are not what I want. Why whine about it?

quote:

As far as shifting the ratio goes, I'm not even remotely concerned about whether there are enough non pros, or what have you. My point has been from the get go that I can understand the frustration of searching for what feels like a needle in the haystack.

How would having fewer Pros make it easier for you to find what you were looking for? (Or anyone else.) I agree with you to some extent - I'd love a personality-matching system of some sort instead of a simple search - but I have a hard time seeing how Pros could be a part of the problem except as a few extra profiles to sort through.

_____________________________

On that other site as Exegesis.

(in reply to discreethusband)

Post #: 52

RE: Are They fucking joking or something? - 2/19/2011 4:29:27 PM

rulemylife

Posts: 14614
Joined: 8/23/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

The sad part about this is that while it may be true that 99.9999999999% of all the female domme profiles over on the other side are pro-dommes, I would not know that and I never will. I sit here on these boards and I talk to lots of fine women who are very clearly seeking to build or enhance relationships rather than businesses. If I was a male sub, why would it matter to me that there's a large segment of the profiles which aren't applicable to me? I only need the one which is.

And, how is this any different than my problem as a male dom? I mean seriously, do we presume that just because someone is female and ticked off the "Slave" box that they are somehow compatible with me? Just from a dynamic perspective and before we even get into any of hugely complex interpersonal chemistry questions, I'd guess that no more than 2:100 would be compatible with me.

But... you know.... despite both those things, it is apparently fun to whine about this... along with it's counterpart whine... why are there no true male subs?

It's not fun to whine about it but it is a problem that needs to be addressed.

I realize this is a free site, but the volume of scammers has increased in the past few years where I would guess 8 out of 10 are just running cons.

We are not talking pro-dommes. We are talking the online only, give me money and I may decide to talk you pseudo-dommes.

And it has really gotten ridiculous.

I suggest you browse some of those profiles and you will quickly see what I mean.

I don't even bother anymore, I just come on for the boards.

This site has become a pathetic joke as a place to meet people.

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 53

RE: Are They fucking joking or something? - 2/19/2011 4:54:27 PM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub

You can get an orange for a quarter? Gawd stuff is high here!

Forget the orange, I didn't know you could get a lawyer for under $500.00/hr!!!

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)

Post #: 54

RE: Are They fucking joking or something? - 2/19/2011 5:03:46 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

I am not saying there arent any genuine Domme's and mistress' on here, you know who you are, but the scammers outweigh the Dommes thats for sure. It just annoys me that the moderators don't do anything about it.

How could you possibly miss this:

DO NOT SEND MONEY TO OTHER USERS FOR ANY REASON!

(in reply to SubmissiveSam88)

Post #: 55

RE: Are They fucking joking or something? - 2/19/2011 5:17:59 PM

discreethusband

Posts: 52
Joined: 3/3/2009
Status: offline

StrangeDesire, I think we pretty much agree on everything. I don't know whether the OP was trying to say that if the pro's didn't do it for money they would be here as lifestylers, but I find that argument highly unlikely. As you pointed out by quoting me, I did say that it is a business arrangement, not a personal relationship. My impression is that the OP wants a personal relationship which is why he is frustrated with the abundance of pro's, or as was posted above, pseudo-domes. They are selling a service, not building a relationship. And if you were posting about your frustrations with too many professional male doms and not enough lifestylers, of course I would be sympathetic. It's the exact same argument. As far as having fewer pros making it easier to find what the OP is looking for, that's obvious. If you have 100 pros and only 1 lifestyler, that means a 1% probability of finding a lifestyler. If that number of pros is decreased to 50, it's a 2 percent probability, ect, ect. Having to search through less increases the likelihood of finding what you're looking for. But that is not, and never has been, my point. I never once said, or insinuated that pro's were part of the problem, because I'm not saying there is a problem at all! ;-) l I'm simply saying that I sympathize with the searching process. That's all. I don't object to professional doms offering their services, nor to anyone purchasing.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 56

RE: Are They fucking joking or something? - 2/19/2011 5:31:37 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Beyond the complaining threads here on the boards, have you ever read the journals? Entry after entry complaining about this or that. It's a real drama out there, that I read when tired and seeing what's going on around here.

As a domina, I have gotten email from some of these complainers that so need our sympathy, support and protection. These that claim all the money dommes are ruining this site tend to have something in common. When they do find lifestyle dominant's, do they appreciate that and present themselves in an email worthy of her attentions? Most in my experience do not. They tend to fall into a category of.. Hi, I am here, clueless and ready to kneel before you, eyes lowered so you can tell me what to do on my handy dandy cam, just for you. I will be a slave to you forever and I am real... I only wish to serve your needs. (If they can grunt that much out of their horny stupor.)

I say... if they are so needy for a good dominant, when they do see one with an actual profile that states she is looking for a real relationship... if they were that sincere, they would act it. They want something for nothing, someone quick to action and someone that isn't real in the sense of being more than a week end drop in center... a drop in center for traveling wayward men that need discipline or someone to get kinky with in their free time, on cam.

We are out there... so you have to pick through a bunch of profiles... so do we! Stop your complaining and sympathy gathering and get out there, find a decent profile, act with sincerity and prove you are worth more than the others complaining, whining and just wanting some action.

Believe me... when one applies themselves, are sincere and aren't all do me now mistress, they are grabbed up as quickly as we can grab them because they are rare!

No charge for this instructional battering... But then of course, you will just complain that I am rude, crude, too forceful, not kinky enough or too demanding in my expectations that you frigging have a clue, have a life and really wish to submit to a dominant woman who is a person with a life other than someone's kinky fetish and interests. You want the real thing, figure out what the real thing is and apply yourself or stop whining. As you can see, I don't baby adults with a pitiful act of any kind.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 57

RE: Are They fucking joking or something? - 2/19/2011 6:00:14 PM

lazarus1983

Posts: 828
Joined: 2/25/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubmissiveSam88

Ok, I am fairly new to the scene, for a start off, I prefer to meet people in real life, like at a MUNCH etc, but I feel sorry for all of the subs that actually browse for mistress' and Domme's. What the fuck is a tribute!!?? since when have subs had to pay to get humiliated online by someone who is just trying to rinse some cash off them. I was browsing the profiles, as you do, and its almost all Domme's ASKING for money or gifts. WTF! ok, I am all for pleasing a woman, but paying them, when you probably wont even meet them?! Go and get involved in your local scene, where everyone is genuine and its FREE! I am not talking about booking a session with a dominatrix here, thats a different story, fair game, but to con a gullible young sub out of there hard earned cash is an absolute sham. I don't even think that half the people are really the person in the pic anyhow. I am not saying there arent any genuine Domme's and mistress' on here, you know who you are, but the scammers outweigh the Dommes thats for sure. It just annoys me that the moderators don't do anything about it.

Sorry, just a rant here, had to get it out of me. f**life seems more true, join that.

Why would the moderators do anything about it? Because what other people choose to do bothers YOU?

If a person is willing to provide a service for a fee, and another is willing to pay the fee, then where's the issue? It's none of our concern how other people go about their business.

_____________________________

The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities.

- Ayn Rand

(in reply to SubmissiveSam88)

Post #: 58

RE: Are They fucking joking or something? - 2/19/2011 7:29:36 PM

Palliata

Posts: 371
Joined: 8/9/2010
Status: offline

Stick not they nose into the business of others. If they want money, and people want to give it to them, more power to them.

_____________________________

I speak not of The Way, but only My Way. Think it not an indictment of Your Way.

I'm male. I know it sounds female. Work with me.

(in reply to RapierFugue)

Post #: 59

RE: Are They fucking joking or something? - 2/19/2011 7:51:55 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: discreethusband
I'm simply saying that I sympathize with the searching process. That's all. I don't object to professional doms offering their services, nor to anyone purchasing.

Why? This muddies the difference between business and personal relationships.

In a business relationship, I expect a very quick search and to have exactly what I want available, whether it be a hammer at Home Dept, an orange at the grocery, or whatever. In a personal relationship, I expect a lot of work to find a match.

I get a little peeved at people who expect EVERYTHING to be ready for them when they want it, even in their personal relationships.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to discreethusband)

Post #: 60

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> RE: Are They fucking joking or something?

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.094