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RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. - 2/20/2011 2:29:10 PM   
discreethusband


Posts: 52
Joined: 3/3/2009
Status: offline
quote:

The above quote happens to be Mine from the "Lifestyle Switch" thread. Is there a particular reason why you pasted it to this one?


Because apparently I can't use the copy/and paste function properly! I was going to respond to that quote in that thread about how it would appear that the most dominant aspects of ourselves usually shine through, and in your case your dom side, but then thought better of it as too much of stating the obvious. Sorry for the confusions. I thought I had copied the OP's statement here, calling women "older" but failed to do so.

(in reply to oceanwynds2)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. - 2/20/2011 2:29:16 PM   
anthony69


Posts: 29
Joined: 3/11/2010
Status: offline 		To my defense there is a great deal that I have mastered in my 21 years of life. The reality of the situation is that i should have put more thought and consideration into my profile, which has been clearly obvious to me.

(in reply to oceanwynds2)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. - 2/20/2011 2:32:49 PM   
discreethusband


Posts: 52
Joined: 3/3/2009
Status: offline 		Second consideration, drop the 69 at the end of your nic. It looks like an XBL gamertag.

(in reply to anthony69)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. - 2/20/2011 2:34:05 PM   
anthony69


Posts: 29
Joined: 3/11/2010
Status: offline 		I find it to be embarrassing that It had to come this in order to help me realize but, I'm glad it happened. I'm not one to be immature about the mistakes I have made.

(in reply to anthony69)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. - 2/20/2011 2:36:55 PM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		Nothing to be embarrassed about!

You came here for advice, and you got it. We can be a little 'direct' at times, but hopefully that's better than dancing around the subject and not addressing it fully

We all make mistakes, but you're listening and taking on board the advice, and that bodes well. I wish you luck in your search!

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to anthony69)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. - 2/20/2011 2:52:35 PM   
gaujein


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: anthony69

So my question for the longest time is how do I go about establishing my self as a young master thats interested in older woman? I have had great attraction to older woman ever since I was A young boy.A older woman to is a woman in her late 30s,early 40s and 50s.


1: Let me propose for the record an alternative scenario:

So my question for the longest time is how do I go about establishing my self as a white master thats interested in black women? I have had great attraction to black women ever since I was A young boy.A black woman to is a woman with skin anywhere from olive and black. I'll humor the occasional albino (after all, it wasn't her fault).

2: Let me also propose for the record alternative (and not so alternative but still applicable) replies:

-----

Just a suggestion, I'd start by not calling them "black".

-----

Bingo!

I have been approached by white guys and every time I was turned off by the variations on the "I prefer black women" thing. It makes me feel like it's not me they're interested in, just my skin.

And for a black woman, being reminded that I'm 'black' is really not going to score any brownie points, lol

-----

I dislike being called black, even by men who are black.
In fact, I am pretty sure I have only gone out with guys who never call me a black woman.
phhht to that.

-----

Just treat all women like a human being instead of as your kink or fetish and you might have some luck.

-----

Stupid question, Anthony - just why do you want a black woman? Your profile and.pics strike me as being as mature as a 21 year old. Which is fine for you, but you'd nog mesh well with someone who wants maturity.

Why not a white woman?

-----

I'm assuming you're referring to my response with the quote.

I quoted a statement that gets to the heart of your problem. I explained below that (and Missokyst mentioned in a later post) that we aren't flattered at being referred to as black. Or treated as your kink.

We're people, and if you approach us in that way then you may just find your luck changes.

-----

3: Let me draw some conclusions:

The above scenario was valid. The replies to it were laughable and that's exactly what I thought when reading them in their original format. You are attracted to older women and admittedly since you were a young boy. It can hardly be a kink or fetish if you can't control it now can it?

Several replies have been from women who resent on some level being referred to as older. You do not want these women anyway. If they can't handle you calling them older just think of when you are in a relationship with them and everyone else is whispering it behind their back and shouting it in their face. Words will range from, "Isn't he a bit too young for you?" to "Oh you old hag!"

4: Let me point out some things:

People are not the same. You may have been bombarded with replies from mostly one side but keep in mind that there is still another side. Specifically a group of people that just tell it like it is. If they are older so what? It's a fact. If they are black so what? It's a fact. Like you said, there's no disrespect intended but if others perceive it that way... so what? It won't change the facts.

5. Let me give you some suggestions:

I suggest you ignore everyone all riled up about being called older. They have fixation on age and who does that help? Age does not equal maturity. Age is a number and a very overrated one at that (I have seen children more behaved than senior citizens).

I suggest you ignore the people who are judging books by their cover. There is a large amount of people who consider first impressions everything. These people look at the leaf and forget the forest. You are what you are. Whether they have the sense to dig deeper or not. They can take it or leave it.

I suggest you focus on understanding yourself. Get in touch with who you are and the things that matter. Decide how you want to live, how you want to die and what you want to leave behind. Change just one detail and all of life changes.

I suggest you keep in mind that one can't truly master one's self. It is a lifelong process so ignore the people who ask you how can you master them if you cannot master yourself? That's like asking you why you try to live when you are going to die anyway? It is not about absolute success. It it is not about trying. It is about trying again when you fail. Again, again, and again.

6. Let me give you some words in parting:

Luck.

< Message edited by gaujein -- 2/20/2011 3:04:13 PM >

(in reply to anthony69)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. - 2/20/2011 2:54:25 PM   
discreethusband


Posts: 52
Joined: 3/3/2009
Status: offline 		When did skin color become subjective?

(in reply to gaujein)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. - 2/20/2011 3:00:48 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: anthony69

So my question for the longest time is how do I go about establishing my self as a young master thats interested in older woman? I have had great attraction to older woman ever since I was A young boy.A older woman to is a woman in her late 30s,early 40s and 50s.


Hello anthony

Personally, being referred to as an older woman wouldn't be an issue for me. I think that's just personal preference and I wouldn't be offended by it.

I see you have pulled your profile down to restructure it. I would not insist on anyone calling you Master or any other exalted name until you own her. I believe you will find that more mature women will not find that attractive and also drop all the 'expert' listings from your profile. You will be more or less met with disbelief due to your age. Being an expert is not the same as maturity and you will find that(maturity) is far more attractive than anything else.

If you have a maturity and humility, that will take you a longer way than any experience you may have.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to anthony69)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. - 2/20/2011 3:04:10 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: discreethusband

When did skin color become subjective?


Context.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to discreethusband)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. - 2/20/2011 3:08:32 PM   
discreethusband


Posts: 52
Joined: 3/3/2009
Status: offline 		Yes, where as what defines "older" is debatable, skin color is not, or race for that matter is not. It's an apples to oranges comparison for the simple sake of being emotionally charged.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. - 2/20/2011 3:13:14 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

The above scenario was valid. The replies to it were laughable and that's exactly what I thought when reading them in their original format. You are attracted to older women and admittedly since you were a young boy. It can hardly be a kink or fetish if you can't control it now can it?


Well, it can. It just depends how much someone wants to surrender/accept/give in to it.

quote:

Several replies have been from women who resent on some level being referred to as older. You do not want these women anyway. If they can't handle you calling them older just think of when you are in a relationship with them and everyone else is whispering it behind their back and shouting it in their face. Words will range from, "Isn't he a bit too young for you?" to "Oh you old hag!"


Heh. Before you get blasted for that... I'd just like to agree.

quote:

People are not the same. You may have been bombarded with replies from mostly one side but keep in mind that there is still another side. Specifically a group of people that just tell it like it is. If they are older so what? It's a fact. If they are black so what? It's a fact. Like you said, there's no disrespect intended but if others perceive it that way... so what? It won't change the facts.


Except that some people also believe they are telling it like it is. I believe the wisest thing out of all of this is for the OP to realise that there will be different groups and whether - as you said in the post above - whether he wants to attract a woman who will be able to cope with the stigma that comes with being an older woman. That is probably one of the most important factors here.

quote:

I suggest you ignore everyone all riled up about being called older. They have fixation on age and who does that help? Age does not equal maturity. Age is a number and a very overrated one at that (I have seen children more behaved than senior citizens).


Again, I wouldn't suggest to ignore... but to use this as a tool to work out who will be compatible.

quote:

I suggest you ignore the people who are judging books by their cover. There is a large amount of people who consider first impressions everything. These people look at the leaf and forget the forest. You are what you are. Whether they have the sense to dig deeper or not. They can take it or leave it.


I agree.

quote:

I suggest you focus on understanding yourself. Get in touch with who you are and the things that matter. Decide how you want to live, how you want to die and what you want to leave behind. Change just one detail and all of life changes.


I agree.

quote:

I suggest you keep in mind that one can't truly master one's self. It is a lifelong process so ignore the people who ask you how can you master them if you cannot master yourself? That's like asking you why you try to live when you are going to die anyway? It is not about absolute success. It it is not about trying. It is about trying again when you fail. Again, again, and again.

6. Let me give you some words in parting:

Luck.


Yup.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to gaujein)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. - 2/20/2011 3:14:01 PM   
gaujein


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: discreethusband

Yes, where as what defines "older" is debatable, skin color is not, or race for that matter is not. It's an apples to oranges comparison for the simple sake of being emotionally charged.


Everything is debatable.

Your accusation while not unfounded is incorrect. I simply used the first scenario that came to mind. You can replace it it anything. The replies will still sound silly and it was the silliness of the replies that was my point. Nothing else.

You may disagree on my point and that's your's right. I said what I wanted as did you.

< Message edited by gaujein -- 2/20/2011 3:16:14 PM >

(in reply to discreethusband)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. - 2/20/2011 3:16:23 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: discreethusband

Yes, where as what defines "older" is debatable, skin color is not, or race for that matter is not. It's an apples to oranges comparison for the simple sake of being emotionally charged.


Everything is subjective and debatable. The guy was offering context. Sure you don't see that... but the context is a hot button and I found that the response was valid. YMMV.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to discreethusband)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. - 2/20/2011 3:20:13 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: discreethusband

When did skin color become subjective?


As an aside, it can be "subjective"... black, brown, light brown, coffee, yellow, white, alabaster, etc.  But that wasn't really his point... his point was to disregard the political correctness that some seem to adhere to, and often runs rampant in forums such as this one.

For the record, I read the comment of refraining from using the word "older" as an attempt to help, not disparage... but really, we're just talking about shades of gray.  What I mean is, if he states he's looking for a "mature" sub/slave, then that too will be met by some as an insult. 

My suggestion would be to simply state in his profile that he prefers those between the ages of "X" and "Y", and leave it at that -- it's his preference, just as many femsubs/femslaves prefer a Doms/Maste that's "older" than them.  He can get into the reason(s) for his "preference" with those he communicates with.

A funny thought... I wonder how many younger girls would approach him wondering why he wants nothing to do with them?!!  I'd fall over laughing if this actually had a "reverse psychology" type of effect?!!




< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 2/20/2011 3:23:16 PM >

_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to discreethusband)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. - 2/20/2011 3:25:13 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

My suggestion would be to simply state in his profile that he prefers those between the ages of "X" and "Y", and leave it at that -- it's his preference, just as many femsubs/femslaves prefer Doms/Master that are "older" than them.  He can get into the reason(s) for his "preference" with those he communicates with.



He will still get blasted for putting ages in too. Anyway he does it he will 'lose'. But then, look at what he has lost and does it really amount to a loss, rather than a gain?
Like you suggest... he can get into reasons with people that he communicates with further and those are the ones that matter in the end.


_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to MasterSlaveLA)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. - 2/20/2011 3:27:28 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: discreethusband

Second consideration, drop the 69 at the end of your nic. It looks like an XBL gamertag.


I don't wish to sound insulting, but I'd be far more attracted to someone with a number in their name, even if it does reference a sexual act, than one that implies cheating. (Again, it's all subjective).

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to discreethusband)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. - 2/20/2011 3:28:12 PM   
discreethusband


Posts: 52
Joined: 3/3/2009
Status: offline 		If everything is subjective, then why would we even have a word for objective? No, everything is not subjective. The color of my skin certainly is not subjective. Whether it's AM or PM is not subjective. Whether today is February 20, 2011 by our calender is not subjective. I get your point, I do. But here is the problem. The root of subjectivism is the mind of the subject involved, that being the person who is being called "older". Can you reasonable look around and say "well I'm not older in comparison to....". Yes, of course you can. Can you really look around and say "Well I'm not white in comparison to..." No, not really.

As far as the whole "age is just a number" argument. That's bunk. Age is more than just a number because it is reflective of certain levels of maturity and independence. If it were just a number, we wouldn't restrict the age to drive to 16 and older in the US, or the right to vote 18, ect.


(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. - 2/20/2011 3:31:48 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: discreethusband
Can you reasonable look around and say "well I'm not older in comparison to....". Yes, of course you can.


Yes you(generic) can.

quote:

Can you really look around and say "Well I'm not white in comparison to..." No, not really.


Yes you(generic) can.

quote:

As far as the whole "age is just a number" argument. That's bunk. Age is more than just a number because it is reflective of certain levels of maturity and independence. If it were just a number, we wouldn't restrict the age to drive to 16 and older in the US, or the right to vote 18, ect.


Only if you are influenced by generalisations. Personally, I look at an individual and their behaviour.



_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to discreethusband)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. - 2/20/2011 3:34:42 PM   
BurntKitty


Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline 		Why don't you look to being the best dominant you can be first, before jumping right to master? Find a submissive you connect with first, develop chemistry, a ~gasp~ relationship first. Later on it may evolve into a master/slave dynamic.

Personally, I'm 52, and I have no interest in anyone younger than my son. I don't care to be your kink. If it's only my age you're interested in, then you aren't interested in me as a person.

I blame Betty White. We can't compete with her. She's become so popular lately.... ~Le sigh~

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(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Being a 21 year old master and wanting older woman. - 2/20/2011 3:45:46 PM   
discreethusband


Posts: 52
Joined: 3/3/2009
Status: offline
quote:

Only if you are influenced by generalisations. Personally, I look at an individual and their behaviour.


It's not that I don't think you should judge someone solely upon their merits, their behavior, ect, but there is a reason for such generalities. There is a reason we do not allow children to drink and smoke, ect.

(in reply to BurntKitty)
Profile   Post #: 40
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