Blindsided

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suddeneclipse -> Blindsided (2/23/2011 11:30:37 AM)
I have it. The perfect M/s relatipnship. The kind that makes others stare in wishful awe. Well, at least that is what is seen from the outside looking in. Inside of here the view is much different. Much. Oh, there was a time when I too believed in it's perfection. That time is long gone and has been for some time now. We both know it but we are in a place where comfort is far less complicated than change. Don't misunderstand, there IS love. But there is no more intimacy, no more touch, no more passion. There is something that feels more like a commmitment turned to resignation. A recent chance encounter and a completely innocent one at that, has awakened a part of my soul I had given last rites to. I accidently ran into Dominance in it's purest form. The moment I was in his presence I began to feel his energy. It was as though he was a tuning fork and I could not help but feel the vibrations emanating from him. Then I heard the noise,low and gutteral. Surely no one else could hear it for it was not a sound he was conciously making. But I could. Like the bass from a subwoofer it reverberated through me. It has taken me to a place that is more raw and primal than any I have ever known. In that moment I knew with crystal clear clarity that I will never again be content with comfortable, for comfortable will extinguish the flame that burns inside me. It very nearly did. I am not a young woman and I have lived a full life and known great love. I have also at times faced great fear. No fear I have ever encountered can possibly compare with the fear that now confronts me. The fear that I may never again have the opportunity to feel such an energy or hear such a sound.

poise -> RE: Blindsided (2/23/2011 11:35:31 AM)
Trying to find balance between trespass and allure isn't easy. I wish you the best of luck in holding on to that joy. And welcome to the forums!

mnottertail -> RE: Blindsided (2/23/2011 11:39:23 AM)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eg8cDmi7-U8&feature=related Cuz momma, that's where the fun is..................

FukinTroll -> RE: Blindsided (2/23/2011 11:46:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: suddeneclipse I have it. The perfect M/s relatipnship. The kind that makes others stare in wishful awe. Well, at least that is what is seen from the outside looking in. Inside of here the view is much different. Much. Oh, there was a time when I too believed in it's perfection. That time is long gone and has been for some time now. We both know it but we are in a place where comfort is far less complicated than change. Don't misunderstand, there IS love. But there is no more intimacy, no more touch, no more passion. There is something that feels more like a commmitment turned to resignation. A recent chance encounter and a completely innocent one at that, has awakened a part of my soul I had given last rites to. I accidently ran into Dominance in it's purest form. The moment I was in his presence I began to feel his energy. It was as though he was a tuning fork and I could not help but feel the vibrations emanating from him. Then I heard the noise,low and gutteral. Surely no one else could hear it for it was not a sound he was conciously making. But I could. Like the bass from a subwoofer it reverberated through me. It has taken me to a place that is more raw and primal than any I have ever known. In that moment I knew with crystal clear clarity that I will never again be content with comfortable, for comfortable will extinguish the flame that burns inside me. It very nearly did. I am not a young woman and I have lived a full life and known great love. I have also at times faced great fear. No fear I have ever encountered can possibly compare with the fear that now confronts me. The fear that I may never again have the opportunity to feel such an energy or hear such a sound. You're welcome.

0ldhen -> RE: Blindsided (2/23/2011 11:56:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: suddeneclipse Dominance in it's purest form. The moment I was in his presence I began to feel his energy. It was as though he was a tuning fork and I could not help but feel the vibrations emanating from him. I am not a young woman and I have lived a full life and known great love. Me darling fellow s- Having had that, felt the reverbations of this primal male force rend through me until I no longer existed as myself, until I was but the female compliment to this burgeoning, overwhelming state of being, I understand. Having since lost this long and long ago, I know your angst. Be at peace within your soul, better to have known this once than live holding ever so tightly to the fallacy that it never existed at all. One moment of Nirvana is worth so much more than a lifetime of half satisfaction.

DarkSteven -> RE: Blindsided (2/23/2011 11:59:05 AM)
Sorry your relationship's foundering. I hate to be so blunt, but if you work on your communication skills, that might help. I favor concise, direct communication.

suddeneclipse -> RE: Blindsided (2/23/2011 12:06:41 PM)
DarkSteven, it would be wrong to assume that there has not already been much of that. Or that it is not ongoing. But I do thank. I would have given much the same advice.

CreativeDominant -> RE: Blindsided (2/23/2011 12:17:59 PM)
Like Dark Stephen, I hate to be blunt also...and I can appreciate the communication that is ongoing. BUT...I also know that given your state of mind regarding your present relationship, you are susceptible to the draw of another's dominance. I know because when My marriage was floundering, I was much more susceptible to the allure of other women and in a way that I had not been before. Luckily, My common sense kicked in and I realized that what I was smelling was the grass...you know, the greener stuff on the other side of the fence? I left for lots of reasons...one of them related to sexuality and the lack of it. But I did not leave her for one specific person or because I knew that there was someone out there who resonated with Me. I left because being alone was better than being alone while laying next to someone who promised you that you would not be.

DesFIP -> RE: Blindsided (2/23/2011 12:21:42 PM)
I think it was Deepak Chopra who wrote that when he's out and a pretty woman excites him, he views it as a test to see if the plumbing still works and then takes it home to his wife. Honestly, that's what you folks need to do if you are still committed to each other. What you ran into isn't pure dominance, it's new relationship energy. That's what makes people have whirlwind romances that break up in a few years. Ever hear of the seven year itch? That's what you're experiencing. Try talking to each other, getting help learning how to talk and listen since it's a skill damn few of us have. And then grow the romance back. Otherwise you'll leave the guy you're with and in a few years will be complaining about the same thing about the new guy.

SailingBum -> RE: Blindsided (2/23/2011 12:28:00 PM)
ahhh the grass always seems greener. It's just that simple. For all you know about this greener guy he could be a real asshole. Sounds like you have a monster case of LUST. Do with it what you will. BadOne

DarkSteven -> RE: Blindsided (2/23/2011 12:37:08 PM)
Eclipse, I wasn't blunt enough. My eyes glazed over shortly after I started reading your post. If you talk the way you write, I bet that your man is tuning you out.

oceanwynds2 -> RE: Blindsided (2/23/2011 12:42:34 PM)
Hello OP Of course these are my own thoughts and ramblings. Take what can be used and throw the rest away, if not all. Perfection and the perfect relationship to me equals standing on quick sand and waiting to sink. There is no such thing as perfection. Relationships must be worked on always. Every relationship has its ebb and flow. If neither of the people will try to ignite the flame again within the relationship, they will start to seek the 'perfection' somewhere else. Again putting themselves on top of quick sand and wondering why they are sinking. You mentioned age, and I do not know what your age is. Some people when they get older start to fear never feeling that 'flame in their heart ' again. There is no truth to that in my book, but I have seen so many with that fear and watch it drive them into doing stupid things, which they regret. Blindsided is also a way to step on quick sand, because we search for the perfect what have you. People tend to get mesmerized by a dream/fallacy/ fantasy in the desire to be in the perfect union. When perhaps if they took off the blind fold and stop searching for that thrill they could have avoided the quick sand pit.

0ldhen -> RE: Blindsided (2/23/2011 12:44:48 PM)
I started to cut and paste to quote the OP. Then I decided to just make a few comments here in response to several replies given to the OP. Granted, I too would suggest communication. Yet I too understand that if only one half of the partnership is interested in fixing things, or even worse, refuses to admit to an issue, you can be the worlds best communicator, it does not help.This is often made more difficult if the D in the relationship is the one declining to communicate. I think the operative word here is innocent. The OP did nothing, only felt the dominance emanating from this D. Haven't any of you met someone, either D or s and felt their inhererent nature hit you like a ray of warm sun or a vibe coming off them? While I could be wrong, I am not taking the OP's post as a whine nor an intent to either leave her D or to cheat on him. Rather I see it as somebody whose very nature was being stifled who suddenly remembered through exposure to this aura of dominance who and what she was, and why.

0ldhen -> RE: Blindsided (2/23/2011 12:50:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven Eclipse, I wasn't blunt enough. My eyes glazed over shortly after I started reading your post. If you talk the way you write, I bet that your man is tuning you out. Shame, shame DS, treating a subbie this way, especially on their first post. After the Troll made you second in command of all the subbie boys and girls in his abscence. I thought it was a beautifully expressive post. Sounded to me like someone in pain and confusion.

suddeneclipse -> RE: Blindsided (2/23/2011 12:54:20 PM)
Hey, finally someone gets it. Thanks Oldhen

0ldhen -> RE: Blindsided (2/23/2011 12:57:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: suddeneclipse Hey, finally someone gets it. Thanks Oldhen Your welcome. Though I must say I wish I knew who you really are. New profile, very serious first post. I cold be wrong but I'm thinking old poster with a problem hiding out. Ollee ollee oxenfree.......which one of the respondents or D's on here owns ths poor OP?

DesFIP -> RE: Blindsided (2/23/2011 1:01:39 PM)
Oldhen, it's the comment about no longer being able to remain in comfort that most of us are responding to. Because if that isn't a statement that she's got one eye out the door, I don't know what is. Beyond that, people change. You have a good, solid relationship with someone you are comfortable with. Perhaps opening up the relationship could work once you've addressed your present problems with a marriage counselor. And no, talking about this yourself won't work because you can't see anything but your own viewpoints. An observer can see things neither of you can.

0ldhen -> RE: Blindsided (2/23/2011 1:10:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Oldhen, it's the comment about no longer being able to remain in comfort that most of us are responding to. Because if that isn't a statement that she's got one eye out the door, I don't know what is. I see your point, yet I really did not read it as she was thinking of leaving. But as I stated before, I could be wrong, only the Op knows for sure what she meant with that one. I kind of took it to mean she's realized that the comfortable but no longer D/s relationship she has settled in with has been smothering the s part of her, the part that evidently used to burn and be the most important part of herself to herself. Lol, I'm just grateful it is not another "Why are the submissives, Dommes......(insert flavor of week here)... such fakes, money hungry, wankers....(insert description/complaint of week here)..." thread. At least this, though the OP has my sympathy, is a genuine question or statement depending on how you read it.

oceanwynds2 -> RE: Blindsided (2/23/2011 1:11:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP Oldhen, it's the comment about no longer being able to remain in comfort that most of us are responding to. Because if that isn't a statement that she's got one eye out the door, I don't know what is. and that is what i based my post on as well. If she would had concluded with I am going to try to reconnect with my Master to see if that flame is still there, would not had let me to come to my thoughts of what she was stating. To me it looked like getting ready to find the next 'perfect' relationship.

Madame4a -> RE: Blindsided (2/23/2011 2:03:18 PM)
The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence because the cows poop there. Be careful, its possible the relationship you are in started the same way. Relationships change, and yes, they become more comfortable and yes, sometimes the electricity and spark changes... having once been a serial monogamist -- moving to the next exciting spark when the other one dimmed -- I can tell you, in the long run, its not the best thing. I'd give it a chance though, your current relationship, not sure how long you've been together but do talk; its probably worth it. However, perhaps you're viewing this all correctly. I'd caution, to save hurt and heartache, end one before you begin another. ETA ... and yes, I'm aware I made a ton of assumptions... it happens when there isn't much to go on...

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