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RE: Single Mothers - 3/10/2011 1:45:48 PM

IronBear

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From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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AShh well lass time fan piss Ginger off.. or your friend to be transported out to Gilligan's Island and he can piss Ginger off.......

Sheesh where is the enterprise when you need it?

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RE: Single Mothers - 3/10/2011 2:08:58 PM

porcelaine

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Joined: 7/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

i want a family, i don't want to be a single mom with a male roommate. haha ^_^

You're a hoot! :)

I'm not completely off the kiddie track. But there's one big caveat. I'd have to be involved with someone younger than myself that's childless. I'd be hard pressed to tell him no if we're trying to build a future together. And goodness knows menopause hasn't come rapping. So yes, it could happen. But he'd have to be mister fan-frigging-tastic with a nanny in tow. I don't ask for much.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

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RE: Single Mothers - 3/10/2011 2:39:30 PM

LillyBoPeep

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heheheee noooo not much at all ^.^

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RE: Single Mothers - 3/10/2011 7:30:13 PM

avena

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quote:

i don't want to be a single mom with a male roommate

this made me chuckle...because i AM a single mom with a male roommate...except he is just a roommate. a friend needed a place to stay for a little while, and a year later, he's still living in my basement. the good news is that my daughter has found 'instant big brother' in him...

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RE: Single Mothers - 3/11/2011 4:43:46 PM

Iskander

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Another aspect that i feel has not yet been fully discussed here yet, is your relationship with the child..

First off, falling in love, desiring someone has absolutely nothing to do with her/him being a single parent! You want to be with someone because there is a connection, it really doesn't matter if they are a parent, or a Lawyer, or a waste disposal technician... (Kenny Rocks)..
It's not important, yet you must be willing to accept the person with all that comes with their own responsibilities, the lawyer might have to work 14 hours a day at times, travel interstate for a week, the wdt might have to be up at 3am to get to work, the parent often lacks that exact day to day routine you expect, simply because when there are kids around, shit happens... Does your routine allow for his/her routine? If not can you and are you able/willing to seek the middle ground?

The other thing, which I have experienced twice now, (3 times if you count kittens), is that long term, yes you will be a role model, yes you will be part of that childs life, there will quite likely be a bond that is deeper and more 'real' than the bond with the mother/father.. And when if the adult relationship comes to an end, I've found in both instances, I missed the child/children more than the woman.. Kids do become attached to those they see on a daily basis, they will come up to you when you come home from work and give you a hug, they will want that bedtime story, not because they want a story, but because you (hopefully) add something to their little lives that brings joy, nurtures and feels safe, and they suck up those moments like a mozzie sucks blood...

So I guess consider carefully where you want this to go, I don't agree with the 'owning mother and child' comment, but i do think it involves taking responsibility for both! Unless it's just play in which case forget the child, stop looking at her as a single mum, and have fun...

M I...

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RE: Single Mothers - 3/11/2011 11:36:00 PM

aBondageTop

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Are you hoping for a long-term relationship? If so, are you prepared to accommodate this child for the next 17 years? Think seriously about this before you get involved.
If you can't accommodate the child without resentment, then don't waste her time.

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RE: Single Mothers - 3/12/2011 12:38:42 AM

MaamJay

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Been some good replies here, and again, well done OP for coming here and asking the questions. Says a lot to Me about Your wanting to be a responsible, prepared Dominant.

OK I am childless, but as a teacher and friend of zillions of people with kids ... one thing I see as a fundamental error in parenting is treating the child as the head of the family! It's seen in so many subtle ways, it's promoted on TV, there's a new ad for a new kind of nappy for the baby who won't lie down to get changed!! For crying out loud, who is in control of the situation?? The parent or the 2 year old? It's there when I see parents of a 5 year old say "What do you want for lunch?" and somehow expect the child to make a suitable nutritional response! And when they predictably say "chippies!" I am almost beside Myself when that is what they get. OK rant over! The parent should be the one in control ... so a single mom generally should be the one in control of the child. That means someone who wants to be in control of her needs to allow for that. That's not the same as saying the child should always come first ... it does children good to learn that their parents aren't always at their beck and call, that parents actually have a life independent of them. Only once the relationship is securely long term might that gradually evolve into more control on the part of the Dom (in this case) over the child directly. And as Iskander so poignantly said, if the relationship ends, it's often the child that is missed the most (and who will miss the other adult). So it is important to go softly softly here and always have the child's feelings and reactions in mind.

Entering a new relationship with any person always requires being cognisant of their existing life and responsibilities, whether they be at work or at home. Real life happens, it gets in the way of plans at times ... and real people shrug and say, well that sucks ... and then shrug it off and carry on. People's energy levels vary for all sorts of reasons ... Master has the flu right now so it would be ridiculous of me to suddenly want a full on play session, spanking, flogging etc! Ridiculous and unfair. Just from the responses already it seems women vary hugely on how much childbirth affects them, their energy levels, their pain tolerance and their libido ... being aware that these might be affected is good but You (the OP) can only find out about HER from her. Asking her these questions should make her aware that You are aware, and genuinely interested and caring, it should help build trust that You will understand when she is just worn out. That You will pick up the clothes, do the dishes and pop out for more milk when she is exhausted. That You will just be THERE for her when that is what she needs most.

Good luck OP! I have seen several families where non-parent men have turned out to be absolutely fantastic partners and fathers to women and their existing children. It CAN work if all are committed.
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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