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stellauk -> RE: "Selling" your fetish (3/18/2011 9:01:04 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: naughtynick81
quote:
yet you sit back enjoying the cushy social privilege of being a heterosexual male
Wow where are all these privileges? The last time I checked, the male is definitely the second class citiizen in this scene.
The privilege appears to be in his head, like a few others. The reality is is that there is no privilege.. it's an illusion. It's the conditioning and the stereotyping from the media.
leadership makes a point which I actually happen to agree with.
I went out last night into Central London. I'm at a bus stop (sitting down) and a guy walks up to me. He makes a pass and tries to get into a conversation. When it comes out that I'm transgendered he gets upset and starts to get nasty with me. I stand up. He backs off and eventually walks away.
Thing is, I'm not doing anything but waiting for a bus. He was the one who assumed I was 'available', but he then got confused when he realized that I might not have pussy between my legs and God knows what he was thinking. I wouldn't like to say. But the thing is is that I never did anything to solicit his attention or encourage it. His reactions however revealed clearly what he had in mind and what his attention was.
It's the same thing, that perceived sense of male privilege, that he can get pussy just by walking up to a woman on the street. I find that demeaning, and I guess so too would any woman. Women have something similar, again perpetrated by the media, which gives a lot of women a sense of privilege simply because she has a vagina.
This explains why there is warfare in BDSM usually along the lines of the female dominant and the male submissive, the pawns of course being money and sex, but this war in reality doesn't involve all the women nor all the men, just the ones who have this deluded sense of privilege who get upset when they see the other side gain what they perceive to be an advantage to make the playing field level.
Isn't that how it is? The men getting upset because women are charging or seeking a tribute? And the women upset over the 'do me' subs and being seen as a kink delivery service?
Men are discriminated against just as much as women. Take two words 'domestic violence' and most people will conjure up images of some aggressive guy hitting a woman, or a female victim. But what about when it happens the other way round, and the men is the victim? It happens, but you rarely see any mention of it in the media.
But I feel some people are missing the point in the OP and why 'selling' your fetish doesn't work and why it is inappropriate to do so online or in the initial stages of contact.
I think back to my childhood, back among the tenement blocks in Glasgow where the street and that square behind the blocks was my world. It was a world controlled by women. Everybody knew everyone in the area, we knew the families in the block, the Pattersons, the Boyds, the MacDuffs, MacDougalls, and so on. Men knew they had to behave themselves simply because they were 'outed' by the women at the slightest opportunity of any wrongdoing.
This isn't possible online. Online you can be anybody you want to be. You can be yourself, be who you really are, and this is where I feel many people run astray.
They sign up to this site, browse it, the imagination runs riot and they're like a dog in a meat shop. It should be easy right? You're a domme, a female sub, a male dom, a male submissive, a crossdresser, whoever, whatever, it doesn't matter. All you need to do is find someone into what you're into and you're away. Right?
Wrong. Computers are useless if you don't use your noggin, and there are many people who tend not to use their noggin until they feel they really have to. It should be easy, women who want to be dominant, and men who want to submit. But it isn't. It's a struggle, it's difficult.
But the important thing to remember here is that it's not a problem with men, nor is it a problem with women. It's just a problem with individual people who have set their stall out, worked out who they are looking for and for what, and ... that's it. There's often insufficient effort made to find what they're looking for, very little compromise, too much emphasis on the kink, the sex, the pleasure, the dynamic, the role and too little emphasis or attention paid to the human being behind it all.
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