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RE: OMG -- How did we ever survive being a kid - 3/8/2011 9:48:42 PM   
tazzygirl


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quote:

The child was not harmed and if angry... even embarrassed... he might actually make sure that never happens again. I would have given the teacher kudos, for actually helping my child and me as parent to that child. If that is all it takes to wig a child out... there was something already much bigger, wrong. Most likely mommy.


The last time I truly got angry at a teacher ~ and this was some time ago as my son just turned 25 ~ I was called to the school to "discuss the disruptive actions" of my child. So, off I went to meet with the teacher. What she explained to me was how my son was playing with a bag of crayons and making loud noises so she could not teach her class. (heaven help me, my mother went along for the ride). When we asked what she did to try and remedy the situation, her comment was something along the lines of it not being their policy to correct a child's actions, but to bring it to the parents attention.

My mother, bless her heart, didnt even give me a chance to speak, merely snatched up the bag of crayons from my son's desk, stormed over to the teacher's desk, and tossed the bag on top, saying... THIS is how you correct that behavior... with our blessing! Next time, take what offends, write us a note, pin it to his shirt and we will take care of "correcting" when he gets home.

The way she said it, and the look she gave her "pride and joy" (and he really is) had him appologizing to the teacher in no time flat. Never did have a problem with him after that.

Amazing what a healthy dose of fear can do for disruptive behavior.

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RE: OMG -- How did we ever survive being a kid - 3/8/2011 9:53:13 PM   
NocturnalStalker


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Status: offline 		You know you could always use a phone to call the parent and tell them about their child's behaviour.  If it persists, then arrange a meeting between the parent and child. 


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RE: OMG -- How did we ever survive being a kid - 3/8/2011 10:00:16 PM   
WyldHrt


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quote:

If it persists, then arrange a meeting between the parent and child.
Umm.. a teacher should have to arrange a meeting between a parent and their child?? Huh?




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RE: OMG -- How did we ever survive being a kid - 3/8/2011 10:05:48 PM   
BKSir


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From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline 		God... when I was a kid in 1st/2nd grade, I'd have gotten in trouble at home for a: talking in class, and b: doing so to such an extent that there were now staple holes in my shirt! And the teacher would have probably gotten a call telling her to "Next time, just give him a couple swats to the backside. Yeah, you do still have that permission paper I sent, right?"

How did I survive being a kid? By growing up in a family where I was taught right from wrong, occasionally getting a swat to the rear and not being a coddled little shit that has no use on this planet other than to waste oxygen. Unlike the overwhelming majority of children now.

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RE: OMG -- How did we ever survive being a kid - 3/8/2011 10:09:12 PM   
BKSir


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From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

quote:

The child was not harmed and if angry... even embarrassed... he might actually make sure that never happens again. I would have given the teacher kudos, for actually helping my child and me as parent to that child. If that is all it takes to wig a child out... there was something already much bigger, wrong. Most likely mommy.


The last time I truly got angry at a teacher ~ and this was some time ago as my son just turned 25 ~ I was called to the school to "discuss the disruptive actions" of my child. So, off I went to meet with the teacher. What she explained to me was how my son was playing with a bag of crayons and making loud noises so she could not teach her class. (heaven help me, my mother went along for the ride). When we asked what she did to try and remedy the situation, her comment was something along the lines of it not being their policy to correct a child's actions, but to bring it to the parents attention.

My mother, bless her heart, didnt even give me a chance to speak, merely snatched up the bag of crayons from my son's desk, stormed over to the teacher's desk, and tossed the bag on top, saying... THIS is how you correct that behavior... with our blessing! Next time, take what offends, write us a note, pin it to his shirt and we will take care of "correcting" when he gets home.

The way she said it, and the look she gave her "pride and joy" (and he really is) had him appologizing to the teacher in no time flat. Never did have a problem with him after that.

Amazing what a healthy dose of fear can do for disruptive behavior.



Damn girl... I'm wondering now if you're my long lost sister or something! LOL That sounds SO like my mom, or possibly even grandma. Although grandma would have just told me to go let Grandpa know what I did... He wouldn't have laid a hand on me. Didn't have to. He had that look and that way of saying "Wull... I'm awful disappointed in you, boy..." May as well have had all the demons of hell unleashed on my butt at that point, would have hurt less.

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RE: OMG -- How did we ever survive being a kid - 3/8/2011 10:11:46 PM   
tazzygirl


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quote:

You know you could always use a phone to call the parent and tell them about their child's behaviour. If it persists, then arrange a meeting between the parent and child.


Hmmm... I cant take personal calls at work. Most parents cant. What happened to a teacher being in charge of her class? I dont expect her to beat a child, I do expect her to be able to handle situations as they arise. A note home to the parents is fine, even stapled to a shirt, because, lets face it, kids lose things everyday. Sorta hard to lose a note stapled to a shirt.

And, sorry to tell ya this, but if the kid felt embarrassed at having a note tacked to his shirt, then maybe he wont try that behavior again. The parents admit to getting progress reports before, and evidently were doing nothing about it. Tacking the note to his shirt, then a sweat shirt over it... how did the other kids see it???

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RE: OMG -- How did we ever survive being a kid - 3/8/2011 10:20:59 PM   
NocturnalStalker


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Status: offline 		See, when I had issues in the classroom in my younger years, teachers would call my mother and inform her of my rogue antics.  My mother also is not someone that can freely take calls while working but like any parent would find the time to talk, and usually it would occur at lunch (or leave a message to get back to them).  The teacher and mother would keep in better reach after I was disciplined at home, and if I did try anything, I'd find one of my privileges taken away until I corrected myself. 

It really is not anything drastic.  It worked, and now I am only partially insane.


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RE: OMG -- How did we ever survive being a kid - 3/8/2011 10:24:41 PM   
tazzygirl


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Status: offline 		Its called... taking responsibility for one's own actions. Something kids are not being taught these days.

“He was upset, he said the kids had been laughing at him,” Innocent said. “He was embarrassed and humiliated.”

“Everyone was starting to laugh at me,” the child said. “That’s when I got the feeling; I was angry and mad.”

Innocent said the teacher’s reasoning for stapling the note was to make sure the parents received the note because the teacher felt the child hadn’t been taking home progress and disciplinary reports requested by his parents.

Innocent said she had been getting those reports. She said she believes the teacher was upset over the child talking and embarrassed him on purpose. The mother also said she never got an apology from the teacher.

“The words that came out of her mouth were, ‘if the shirt is the problem, I will go ahead and replace the shirt for you,’” Innocent said. “I didn’t get, ‘I apologize I shouldn’t have done that.’”

Miami-Dade Schools released a statement saying: To make sure that the note reached home, the teacher fastened the note to the child’s shirt, then placed the child’s sweatshirt over it, so that the note would not cause any undue attention.

Innocent told CBS4’s Gwen Belton that she has taken her child out of that classroom and is contemplating taking the child out of the school completely.

http://miami.cbslocal.com/2011/03/07/disciplinary-note-stapled-to-childs-shirt/

When are parents going to teach their children how to take responsibility for their own actions?

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Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
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Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

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RE: OMG -- How did we ever survive being a kid - 3/8/2011 10:46:12 PM   
NocturnalStalker


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir

How did I survive being a kid? By growing up in a family where I was taught right from wrong, occasionally getting a swat to the rear and not being a coddled little shit that has no use on this planet other than to waste oxygen. Unlike the overwhelming majority of children now.


You just damaged my eye-sight with such absurdity.


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RE: OMG -- How did we ever survive being a kid - 3/8/2011 11:00:16 PM   
purepleasure


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Status: offline 		NocturnalStalker, I really hope you home school your children. Only you will be able to have any type of control of them.

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RE: OMG -- How did we ever survive being a kid - 3/8/2011 11:37:17 PM   
NocturnalStalker


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Status: offline 		I'd probably ask my parents for parenting advice, bro.

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RE: OMG -- How did we ever survive being a kid - 3/9/2011 12:04:27 AM   
GreedyTop


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RE: OMG -- How did we ever survive being a kid - 3/9/2011 12:42:47 AM   
WyldHrt


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quote:

Innocent said the teacher’s reasoning for stapling the note was to make sure the parents received the note because the teacher felt the child hadn’t been taking home progress and disciplinary reports requested by his parents.

Innocent said she had been getting those reports.

OK, so the parents requested progress and disciplinary reports, and according to the mother, received them. Is anyone else wondering why the frikkin parents did not contact the teacher here??

It sounds like the parents did not acknowledge the reports that the mother says they received in any way, leaving the teacher guessing whether they had ever seen them. I find it amazing that some people expect the teacher to call the parents when they couldn't even be arsed to respond to the notes and reports she had sent.




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"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

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RE: OMG -- How did we ever survive being a kid - 3/9/2011 2:22:29 AM   
WyldHrt


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quote:

My God. You people see what you are doing to these kids?

In sports, there aren't winners and losers anymore. They ALL win!
They can't do wrong, they are just kids!

Humans have already bypassed natural selection, for the most part, and now you try to destroy the social version that exists in its place?
This is why America is weak. This is why China owns us. People can't raise their kids like they need to be raised!
The kids start to expect that EVERYTHING be handed to them on a silver platter. That they don't HAVE to work.
Look at Obamacare. That's a huge sign that America is dying, anyways. (but that is for another thread).

Look at me. I'm a kid, a teen, but a kid. And I think teachers are idiots for being too lenient. That's the only reason some things become a problem, anyways. (ie: bullying, hooky, etc)

quote:

And I apologize to anyone over 18, are you actually school age children?
I'm sorry that my personal accounts, something I go through on a near daily basis isn't a worthy source of information! God forbid that someone young isn't being arrogant, but is, instead, arguing a point that they feel shouldn't need to be argued in the first place!

No, I see it on a daily basis.
The job of a parent is to TEACH their kid how to succeed in life. It is the parent's job to DISCIPLINE a child when it is unruly or disruptive when it shouldn't be. How else are they going to learn the difference?
The simple truth is, they wont. And when someone finally tells them that is IS wrong, all hell breaks loose.

Now, I'm not saying the parent should lay a finger on their child, oh no. Then the kid could just call Social Services and have them arrested. I guess the kid will just have to discipline themselves. 

Just... well said! Your posts are a pleasure for this old fuddy duddy (fuddy daisy?) to read!

Gen reply~
My brother and sister both had kids, and both decided (well ok, my bro's wife decided) that they would be 'enlightened', understanding parents... sooo much better than our own folks- the ones who actually made rules and enforced them, expected us to help around the house, actively tracked our education and any behavior or achievement issues, and (IMO, most importantly) let us fail when we needed to in order to move forward.

My siblings read the books on parenting, played music to the kids in utero, planned every moment of their kids' babyhood around educational toys and a nurturing environment before they were ever born... they were soooo prepped!

Result... 3 of the worst brats to ever reside on the face of the earth (no, I am not kidding).

I dealt with my bro's sprogs when they came to visit at ages 4 and 6 by setting hard rules and following up. They behaved for me, because I wouldn't bend on expectations. I gave them a choice to obey my rules or not obey, and let them know what would happen either way. No physical punishment, but not obeying was distinctly unpleasant. At first, they thought I was kidding. I wasn't.

After they left, my bro continued allowing their bratty behavior until he came home from work one day to find the kids (now 7 and 9) screaming at their mother. The older one called her a 'fucking bitch', echoed by the younger one. Ummm... that was the end of THAT! Better late than never, I guess. Yeah, trip to the woodshed, and a big change in what was expected. Years later, both kids graduated with honors and athletic letters from high school and are now in college.

My sister's son was not as fortunate. His parents coddled and protected him, even when he kicked my mother (hard) for denying him a cookie and broke his cousin's foot during an argument. Nothing was ever his fault, no matter what. This kid just never learned the connection between actions and consequences, and it's a damned shame.


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"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
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RE: OMG -- How did we ever survive being a kid - 3/9/2011 4:25:20 AM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		~FR~ I really don't get this -- the teacher should have called?  Umm why?  Just because its 2011 means a note home is not as IMPORTANT so the parents don't need to address the issue until there is a call?

Maybe that's a problem for the parents to rectify within themselves because this tells me that the parents aren't looking at the notes and taking seriously what the teacher is telling them, so they don't really "address" anything until they get a call because THEN its important.  Good grief, seriously people?  No wonder kids disrespect teachers when parents disrespect them by ignoring notes that come home as ---- NOT THAT IMPORTANT -- because well gee the teacher didn't CALL them.

Maybe this story will show parents of America how absurd "protecting" your child has become where a note on a shirt regarding a child's bad behavior is newsworthy NOT because of your child's behavior that is the cause of the note in the first place but because you as a parent didn't like the consequences that he had to face due to HIS actions and well, your lack of same.  I really really hope that this teacher does NOT apologize and that the school board stands behind her actions and that other parents stand up with this teacher and support her. 

angel

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RE: OMG -- How did we ever survive being a kid - 3/9/2011 8:03:45 AM   
Phoenixpower


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quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

Kids got notes pinned to their shirts all the time when i was a kid, especially in 1st and 2nd grade or if the teacher didn't think the kid was giving the notes to the parents.


thankfully not at my school....dont think it would have gone down well in my town where I am from as we still have a reasonable good network where families know each other since centuries apart from the few ones who moved new into the area....

If it was urgent they called in case a personal note was not passed on to the parents or it was dealt with during parents evenings in schools which took place twice a year....I remember where once a teacher tried to enforce his desire that we have a certain pencil case where all our pens are nicely slot into slings (whatever you call them) instead of the ones where you just toss them into a pencil case where you at times have to search your pen....our parents were having none of that shit and made clear to him that he oversteps his lines what he can demand as a teacher.



< Message edited by Phoenixpower -- 3/9/2011 8:08:03 AM >

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RE: OMG -- How did we ever survive being a kid - 3/9/2011 8:25:56 AM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline 		What a group of weak ass, whiny bunch of kids that's being raised by parents like that. In my day you got smacked by the teacher/principle and then sent home for more..all the while having to walk uphill both ways in the snow barefooted to receive it.

Seriously, get a grip..Not like she beat the kid or pants him in front of the class. Life is full of humiliation at times. Deal with it little johhny.

< Message edited by Icarys -- 3/9/2011 8:26:44 AM >

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RE: OMG -- How did we ever survive being a kid - 3/9/2011 8:43:55 AM   
stellauk


Posts: 1360
Status: offline 		And there we have it. I get the kid misbehaving in class, even if it's repeatedly. Kids of that age do misbehave, they are still learning and developing socially, therefore they're still taking opportunities to push buttons and boundaries.

What I don't get is how this somehow is a major issue for adults to deal with and respond to. I'm not a parent, I don't have much contact with kids to be honest, and my teaching of children was just one area of my work. I relied on my own experiences as a child and my strategies of dealing with businessmen when teaching Business English. I had it much simpler, I was teaching a foreign language, so I probably had far greater freedom over content of lessons than other teachers have.

But this doesn't change the fact that a child is still a child, emotionally immature and if you as the adult in the relationship don't take responsibility and set proper boundaries the child is going to exploit every opportunity they get to misbehave and keep pushing and pushing until they come up against some boundary.

It's no different to some of what is here on this thread, and I figure it's the exact same situation in the school - teacher blames parent, and parent blames teacher for something both should have been paying attention to and dealing with a lot sooner. Pinning the note to the kid's shirt was juvenile, but going to the media over this issue is just plain stupid.

What is this teaching the child? I guess it's teaching the child that adults can behave just as badly as they can, that they can play teacher off against parent - but more likely the kid already knew that long time gone, and also that the child can be angry and get mad whenever he feels disrespected, just like his older bros on Youtube in the outsized T-shirts, bling and baseball caps rapping to big themselves up because they feel nobody cares about them and talking about what's wack, gay and so on. He already knows he doesn't have to make the effort and apply himself. In another five or six years there'll likely be a gang somewhere or college, mountain bikes and spliff.

How do I know this? I'm living on an estate in the 'hood here in London, same culture, same kids, similar values. Another negative cultural stereotype that the media can pick up on - and this is exactly why such a story made the television newsdesk. This is where the media fit in with all this and the mother played right into their hands. Why? Because she's probably part of that same culture herself.

The media are also being irresponsible because it's hardly representative and does nothing more but to maintain the cultural apartheid and reinforce the stereotypes. Not sure how it is over there in Florida, but here in London it's pretty much the non-white community which are more unified, they still by and large value the family unit, they still go to church, and the young blacks are moving away from those negative stereotypes and it doesn't matter to these kids where their ancestors are from.

This is an issue which goes beyond parents and teachers, it affects all of us as adults. Children don't have the opportunity to shape society or culture, they're way too busy trying to get through childhood. We cannot realistically expect children to be better behaved unless we are better behaved as adults. When we stop modelling the irresponsibility, children will stop behaving irresponsibly. When we stop finding fault with others and blaming each other and instead start facing up to the issues and start addressing them, and instead start supporting parents and teachers then things will change. They might not be our children, but in another 10-20 years these kids are going to be adults and play an influential role in our future.

This is why I'm in favour of legislation to sanction such behaviour. I don't see why parents as an entire social group should take the blame for the irresponsible minority. If parents aren't making the effort to discipline their kids effectively then I feel society should have some means of disciplining the irresponsible parents. It's not fair that the majority of hard working, dedicated parents should be tarred with the same brush, it's not fair that their children should have their lessons disrupted. It's not fair that teachers should have to stand in front of a classroom of 20-30 kids unsupported. It's not fair that parents in general, or teachers for that matter, are stigmatized because of the irresponsible few.

Maybe if Mrs Innocent instead of going to the media was brought before a court of law and required to explain her irresponsibility and pay for the privilege of being irresponsible through a heavy fine she might apply herself with a bit more effort to her parenting. Better still, the existence of such legislation might cause her to want to avoid such a court appearance.

I am all for civil liberties but I am much more strongly in favour of social justice. If children cannot behave responsibly then they need to be disciplined and taught to respect the proper boundaries of appropriate social interaction and behaviour and for me this also applies to adults. Perhaps when this issue is addressed properly in the criminal justice system then we might see a change in society, and a change which is very welcome and beneficial not just to children but to everyone.

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RE: OMG -- How did we ever survive being a kid - 3/9/2011 8:54:07 AM   
Phoenixpower


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quote:

ORIGINAL: stellauk
What is this teaching the child? I guess it's teaching the child that adults can behave just as badly as they can


exactly. Doesn't show any emphasis on being a role model for that kid in her position she is in, or giving the kid the trust or chance to develop the ability to manage the responsibility to show the note at home or how to communicate with each other in an appropriate way...

thats an example where the difference is shown between just being a teacher to a teacher who knows how to apply a pedagogic manner within his/her job

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RE: OMG -- How did we ever survive being a kid - 3/9/2011 9:03:14 AM   
calamitysandra


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Status: offline 		I really, really adore you Stella.

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