Types of Relations (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

SillyIllySally -> Types of Relations (3/10/2011 5:40:01 PM)

I'm just wondering if anyone has or has had a relationship akin to what i seek. One where titles and protocol are not so important. Where you address each other by first names or terms of endearment. Where the both of you knowing that the domination and submission are always there is enough, no need for things like collars. Funnily enough a M/s couple who are quite missed on this site (by me at least) assured me that what i seek is out there. Finding it on the other hand has proved a bit challenging. So if anyone has experienced this type please share.



FukinTroll -> RE: Types of Relations (3/10/2011 5:42:22 PM)

A lot of people call that marriage and the terms of endearment, over time, become hey Asshole and WTF Bitch.

YMMV



littlewonder -> RE: Types of Relations (3/10/2011 5:46:37 PM)

While he is my Master and I his slave, our relationship is typically like everyone else's on the planet. We don't go around calling each other Master or slave around others but I also rarely ever call him by his first name unless around family or friends. Even then most people just know who I"m talking to or about. We don't look or act differently. We always know who is in control in our relationship so there's no need to go around showing it or anything like that...it just is what it is.

I think you'll find that most in long term relationships around here are like this. It's not really that different or unique. We've simply been together long enough and comfortable enough with each other to know each other well without overt displays of ownership.




SillyIllySally -> RE: Types of Relations (3/10/2011 5:47:51 PM)

Oh come on now... It doesn't take marriage in order to get to the "hey Asshole and WTF Bitch"!



FukinTroll -> RE: Types of Relations (3/10/2011 5:49:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SillyIllySally

Oh come on now... It doesn't take marriage in order to get to the "hey Asshole and WTF Bitch"!


WTF are you talking about bitch?

Hmmm... Yep, you're right. Who woulda thunk it.

SLURP~



SillyIllySally -> RE: Types of Relations (3/10/2011 5:50:22 PM)

thank you littlewonder



DarkSteven -> RE: Types of Relations (3/10/2011 5:52:45 PM)

Just my estimate - about half the couples I know in the local community do not use formal protocol.

If you're looking at groups, you should have no problem finding a low protocol relationship.  If you look online, I suspect that you'll run across lots of idiots who assume that getting called Lord or Sir is a big thing.  (Note - anyone who demands that prior to becoming involved with you is a pretender.)



DesFIP -> RE: Types of Relations (3/10/2011 5:55:18 PM)

We've been together 8 years. We are raising a blended family. I don't meet him naked at the door or crawl around the house. We call each other honey or by name. We have love and respect for each other. Just a nice, ordinary relationship except he's better at decision making so he makes them.

With that said, this kind of relationship isn't that easy to find with or without kink.



lizi -> RE: Types of Relations (3/10/2011 5:57:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SillyIllySally

I'm just wondering if anyone has or has had a relationship akin to what i seek. One where titles and protocol are not so important. Where you address each other by first names or terms of endearment. Where the both of you knowing that the domination and submission are always there is enough, no need for things like collars. Funnily enough a M/s couple who are quite missed on this site (by me at least) assured me that what i seek is out there. Finding it on the other hand has proved a bit challenging. So if anyone has experienced this type please share.


Well, this sounds a lot like my relationship. We use first names or one of a revolving selection of endearments. Although I do wear a collar 24/7 that is a relatively recent development. So sure...it's out there.

We live a mostly vanilla or normal life together and concentrate on just being a couple first. We know who we are to each other and we don't necessarily need to reinforce it constantly, it's just there underneath. We just seem to be an everyday couple and that's pretty much what we are. We do some kinky things with each other privately but our day to day interactions are pretty much what you'd see anywhere.



poise -> RE: Types of Relations (3/10/2011 6:01:58 PM)

I've not only experienced it, I continue to live it on a daily basis.
I call it The Human Relationship. Odd concept..I know.

I'm finding it a bit incredulous that you haven't found someone worthy
of your devotion based on this preference of addressing someone.
Certainly, a first contact that expected me to address them as Sir would
keep me walking, but thankfully I have yet to come in contact with those types.
Are you saying every man you have come in contact with here in your 8 months
has made this a requirement? Please explain further?



SillyIllySally -> RE: Types of Relations (3/10/2011 6:02:47 PM)

Thank you lizi. I was not just speaking of the "titles" just didn't want a 2 page post. You seem to have understood that so again thanks.



LillyBoPeep -> RE: Types of Relations (3/10/2011 6:04:52 PM)

in my last relationship, that was very much how it was. he didn't require or really even want honorifics (even though i wanted to say them and did often =p), he either called me my name, or "baby," he made me a collar to signify that i was his, but it wasn't for every day; my "day collar" was mental. the power exchange was natural, and started growing pretty organically. at some point he decided we needed to "have a talk," and then it all became official and got a name. if he had the inkling to throw in protocol, he sometimes would, but he didn't rely on it. and in spite of all that, i still knew, absolutely, who had the power, and who i belonged to.
it was very secure. and pretty awesome.

you know what you're looking for OP -- don't stop till you find it.




FukinTroll -> RE: Types of Relations (3/10/2011 6:09:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyBoPeep

you know what you're looking for OP -- don't stop till you find it.




Quoted for truth and a pat on the head. Good job Lilly.

SLURP~



IrishMist -> RE: Types of Relations (3/10/2011 6:10:34 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SillyIllySally

I'm just wondering if anyone has or has had a relationship akin to what i seek. One where titles and protocol are not so important. Where you address each other by first names or terms of endearment. Where the both of you knowing that the domination and submission are always there is enough, no need for things like collars. Funnily enough a M/s couple who are quite missed on this site (by me at least) assured me that what i seek is out there. Finding it on the other hand has proved a bit challenging. So if anyone has experienced this type please share.

There is NO rule book that says each and every person MUST behave and act a certain way.

Relationships are nothing more than what you and the people you are involved with decide that they are.



Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Types of Relations (3/10/2011 6:13:37 PM)

quote:

So if anyone has experienced this type please share.


Yes, I've experienced it. There's really not too much to share about it. In regards to protocols those regardless if you want them, just naturally happen. Patterns of interaction and behavior. :-) However, there is a difference between formal vs. informal protocols that become established. The same holds true in regards to honorifics.

If you don't mind me asking, what sort of turns you away or off by either protocols or titles?



SillyIllySally -> RE: Types of Relations (3/10/2011 6:20:19 PM)

I'm not turned off or away by them. At the end of the day though, they are only words. In my mind actions speak louder than words.



Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: Types of Relations (3/10/2011 6:20:46 PM)

Yup. Daddy and I have a zero protocal relationship, and we don't have titles we have to call each other before addressing each other or things that are a no no to say unless it's casual time.

I don't wear collars either I don't believe in them, except for a fashion statement of my own choice..
quote:

ORIGINAL: SillyIllySally

I'm just wondering if anyone has or has had a relationship akin to what i seek. One where titles and protocol are not so important. Where you address each other by first names or terms of endearment. Where the both of you knowing that the domination and submission are always there is enough, no need for things like collars. Funnily enough a M/s couple who are quite missed on this site (by me at least) assured me that what i seek is out there. Finding it on the other hand has proved a bit challenging. So if anyone has experienced this type please share.



Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Types of Relations (3/10/2011 6:26:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SillyIllySally
I'm not turned off or away by them. At the end of the day though, they are only words. In my mind actions speak louder than words.


In my book - Words have amazing powers, never under estimate the value of words. Actions speak volumes alone. Both words and actions have amazing powers to affect lives.



Arpig -> RE: Types of Relations (3/10/2011 6:30:08 PM)

I would only have the type of relationship you are talking about. My name is Bob, not Sir or Master (though I don't care if she calls me that during sex or pain time, if it gets her going to say "Yes Master...go for it). I generally happily answer to "ignorant jerk"as well. To me a collar is sexy accessory to be worn with the appropriate outfit. I don't need a formal ceremony to establish a relationship, a simple "You are mine. Yes, I am yours" is good enough.

I am not really all that interested in controlling somebody...I have enough of a headache controlling me. I want things my way, and that's good enough...if I have no particular preference (which I don't in most matters...I am pretty laid back about most things) then as far as I am concerned do whatever you want.

I expect her to take care of the house...I don't care how she does it, that's her job...and if she fucks up, we'll have a chat. I don't care how she does the laundry as long as I have clean underwear every morning. I don't care what she makes for supper (well, except for liver...that's a hard limit), as long as its ready on time and not burnt.

I am not into punishments...that sort of thing I do for my entertainment. Being hurt is part of her job description. If I am doing something stupid (I know...Arpig being stupid,  perish the thought!) then I damn well expect her to say so...its her job to do so. I may or may not pay any attention to her opinion...but I want to hear it. If we are having an everyday conversation, I expect her to speak her mind

If I wanted slavish devotion, I'd buy a dog,



FukinTroll -> RE: Types of Relations (3/10/2011 6:32:33 PM)

Is Snookims off the table?



Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125