How Do We Find Sadistic Girls For Play?

How Do We Find Sadistic Girls For Play? (Full Version)

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grandgnu -> How Do We Find Sadistic Girls For Play? (3/15/2011 7:27:17 AM)
My wife and I have enjoyed a sadomasochistic relationship for over a decade, but never delved into "the scene". My wife enjoys kicking my ass, but I've always fantasized about having a group of girls gang up on me (girls tend to be meaner in a group), and she'd be fine with having some help. I know there has to be a shit-ton of ladies out there who would love to kick a guys ass and humiliate him. We're new to the state of CT and attended a couple of munches, but most of the dom women were in their 50's and the younger girls seemed to lean more towards sub. The local play space leans towards the older crowd as well unfortunately. What I'm looking for is ladies 18-37, no BBW, no paid services. How hard can it be to find girls who want to kick your ass? Here's an example of some real-life attacks by females on men that get me excited: Five Drunk Women Attack Guy Six Girls With Stilletos Attack Male We've tried FetLife and CollarMe but no dice so far. Maybe I'm impatient, maybe I'm too pushy or excited about what I want. Should I just hang outside of bars and hope a random group of drunk chicks attacks? [8D] Help a horny masochist discover the best way to find what he's looking for!

BonesFromAsh -> RE: How Do We Find Sadistic Girls For Play? (3/15/2011 7:43:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: grandgnu Maybe I'm impatient, maybe I'm too pushy or excited about what I want. Remove the word "maybe" and you'd have it right. Also, as I asked in your introduction...does the third person in your photo know she's on a kink site? Is she also looking?

LadyPact -> RE: How Do We Find Sadistic Girls For Play? (3/15/2011 7:53:05 AM)
Two things come immediately to mind. The first is that she will probably be more successful at finding other people to co-top with her than you will if you are primarily the one searching. It just works better. The second is that you may actually want to work on your patience. What you are offering is something that most sadistic women can find anytime that they want. There are more than enough guys who are willing to bend over and get their ass beat. On top of that, you are narrowing the pool because you have age and weight preferences (having your personal preferences isn't an issue, but you have to realize that means fewer candidates). Basically, you're asking for young, pretty, thin women who are already in high demand and the only thing they are getting out of it is the same thing as if they were beating just about anybody. Not all people like to share and most don't just want to feel that they are part of a group that is catering to your wants. The best suggestion that I have for you is to have your wife get to know other Dominant women so that what you want to set up is done on more of a friendly basis. Let her get to know them so she can see if they are interested in doing this kind of thing with her. Do you have any sigs (special interest groups) that are specifically for Dominant women? That would be a place to start.

poise -> RE: How Do We Find Sadistic Girls For Play? (3/15/2011 7:57:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: grandgnu What I'm looking for is ladies 18-37, no BBW, no paid services. How hard can it be to find girls who want to kick your ass? Here's an example of some real-life attacks by females on men that get me excited: Five Drunk Women Attack Guy Six Girls With Stilletos Attack Male We've tried FetLife and CollarMe but no dice so far. Maybe I'm impatient, maybe I'm too pushy or excited about what I want. Should I just hang outside of bars and hope a random group of drunk chicks attacks? [8D] Help a horny masochist discover the best way to find what he's looking for! You know, assault is still illegal in this country, even if it is consensual, and that's perhaps only one of the many reasons you arent finding a volunteer. Why would you think a stranger would risk doing this just so you can get your rocks off? Edited to add: Why not hand a paddle over to that third girl in your picture?

subtlebutterfly -> RE: How Do We Find Sadistic Girls For Play? (3/15/2011 8:17:11 AM)
Now that one is easy. You google me.

LadyNTrainer -> RE: How Do We Find Sadistic Girls For Play? (3/15/2011 9:18:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: grandgnu We've tried FetLife and CollarMe but no dice so far. Maybe I'm impatient, maybe I'm too pushy or excited about what I want. Yes, you are. If you want to order a sexual partner off of a McDomme's drive-through menu - she has to be 18-37, slender, and dominant in the way YOU want to be dominated - then you had better be prepared to pay for your Happy Meal at the window. Not many women want to be someone else's fetishized object. I notice you don't say anything at all about being interested in who she is as a person, or having vanilla common interests and hobbies, or spending non-sexualized time getting to know her. You just want a porn actress to show up and deliver your personal fetish, and then go away again without your having to bother with minor little details like what she might enjoy in a personal relationship, or how much of your time and energy she might want in her personal life. Yeah. No. That's very unlikely to work. A hot young chick who likes this sort of thing can have her pick of submissive guys or couples, and you just aren't offering anything that makes you stand out. If you're impatient, hire a pro. Expecting someone of a certain look to just show up and cater to your fetish is not reasonable, and not likely to happen unless you have something more to offer than "I want, gimme gimme, and it has to be exactly the way I want it." Referring to adult women as "girls" does NOT help you in the least, and just makes it abundantly clear that you feel condescension and contempt for the objects you are seeking to fulfill your personal fantasies. Dominant women generally prefer to be treated as adult human beings, not as fetishized objects, and certainly not as children.

grandgnu -> RE: How Do We Find Sadistic Girls For Play? (3/15/2011 9:47:05 AM)
There appears to be some confusion. I'm not interested in a Dom. This isn't lifestyle BDSM, there is no dom/sub or mistress/slave relationship going on. I'm looking for females who are sadistic and enjoy the opportunity to inflict violence and humiliation upon others. I'm providing them with an outlet for their fantasy as well as they are providing for mine, which is mutually beneficial. Also, while I'm not interested in BBW, I never said they had to be "skinny" or "hot". A little extra baggage is fine, and I'm not expecting a super model. I'm just not attracted to the very large girls and wanted to make that clear, so I don't waste anyones time.

tiggerspoohbear -> RE: How Do We Find Sadistic Girls For Play? (3/15/2011 9:56:52 AM)
Well, you're last statement is one way to get your ass kicked. And not the way you want either. And since there's so many others looking for a 3rd, you've got a long wait. Just because it's your fantasy, doesn't make it another female's. And since you're not into D/s or BDSM, then guess what? That's what this site is. Try AFF or alt.com, you may have better luck there. Still don't think so, but ya never know.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: How Do We Find Sadistic Girls For Play? (3/15/2011 10:07:17 AM)
There really are some women out there who love to cause serious harm. Do you have your ER story all ready? Health insurance paid for? Honestly, get a grip and look at what you are asking for.

LadyPact -> RE: How Do We Find Sadistic Girls For Play? (3/15/2011 10:08:37 AM)
I didn't mean to cause any confusion. When I suggested your wife trying to meet other sadistic women through special interest groups, it's because there's a greater chance of her finding people where they are more likely to gather. Most of such groups just term them for Dominant women, but they also include tops, switches, etc. What you might be misunderstanding is that you're not really providing them with an outlet. If you are really thinking of it like that, please take ticket 16,294 because there are a whole bunch of bottoms out there who are offering the very same thing. It's all about different perspectives. You think what you are saying as "fantasy fulfillment" is hard to come by because you haven't been able to obtain it. On the other hand, for Me it's very easy because it's always available. The supply and demand angle works in two different ways for us.

LadyNTrainer -> RE: How Do We Find Sadistic Girls For Play? (3/15/2011 10:32:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: grandgnu There appears to be some confusion. I'm not interested in a Dom. This isn't lifestyle BDSM, there is no dom/sub or mistress/slave relationship going on. I'm looking for females who are sadistic and enjoy the opportunity to inflict violence and humiliation upon others. Sure, there's lots of those, but most of them prefer to play with people whose personalities and energy they actually like, and/or people they find physically attractive. You are not displaying yourself or offering yourself for a woman to view and possibly be attracted to, not physically and not mentally or emotionally. You're putting a demand out there for a woman that must be pleasing to your view, and there is a big difference. You don't want a relationship; you want someone of a specific physical description to show up and do you the way you want to be done, then go away. Good luck with that; you're really gonna need it. quote: I'm providing them with an outlet for their fantasy as well as they are providing for mine, which is mutually beneficial. Uh, not so much. You are interested in a specific fantasy that as far as you are concerned could be enacted by any cardboard cut-out, blow-up doll or robot. Women are mostly interested in the person they are doing the fantasy with. If you are offering nothing but a specific fantasy, even if she shares that fantasy, she is not necessarily going to be interested in doing it with YOU. Are you hot? Are you gym-toned? Can you move sensually while being beaten? Do you make nice noises when struck? Can you entertain her in other ways? What about beating you up would be fun for her? Remember that she can have an entire horde of willing subbies looking to be beaten up, and some of those men are probably hotter than you or more interesting than you. Compete to be pleasing to her, or be left in the dust. Making demands about what you want while ignoring what may be pleasing or interesting or attractive to her is a losing strategy.

DarkSteven -> RE: How Do We Find Sadistic Girls For Play? (3/15/2011 10:55:40 AM)
OP, you're indicating that you're willing to get beaten by women with no experience, who may not even be sober. Be very careful. You nay want to see if any female boxers would be willing to use you for practice. They'd be fit and would likely know how to hit properly with no serious harm.

BonesFromAsh -> RE: How Do We Find Sadistic Girls For Play? (3/15/2011 10:57:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: grandgnu There appears to be some confusion. I'm not interested in a Dom. This isn't lifestyle BDSM, there is no dom/sub or mistress/slave relationship going on. I'm looking for females who are sadistic and enjoy the opportunity to inflict violence and humiliation upon others. Yet another reason why CM would be a much more user-friendly place if there were label choices for top/bottom/kinkster and the like. OP, you say you're new to the area, how did you find people where you previously lived? As for CT munches, the majority are less about setting up meet and beat opportunities and more about socializing with others who share a common interest. If you want to be beaten, why not just find some of the rough parts of Bridgeport or New Haven...or Stamford for that matter. I doubt you'll have a hard time finding someone to inflict violence on you...maybe even a few "girls". As for the "BBW" thing...hey, everyone's allowed personal preferences. As a phat chick, I prefer guys who are honest about not being interested in me simply because of my size.

LadyNTrainer -> RE: How Do We Find Sadistic Girls For Play? (3/15/2011 11:26:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven You nay want to see if any female boxers would be willing to use you for practice. They'd be fit and would likely know how to hit properly with no serious harm. Oh hell no. ALL of the women I know who box or spar as a serious non kinky hobby are fed up to HERE with creepy guys who want to be used as "practice". There is no faster way to get your ass thrown out of any training gym than to bother the women with crap like this. This is not cool advice to give. Women who are serious about their gym work do NOT want to be bothered by creeps wanting kinky gratification. It is not the time or the place to ask them for it, nor do they consent to be propositioned for sexual fetish purposes. The correct word for this is harassment. Don't do it.

Lockit -> RE: How Do We Find Sadistic Girls For Play? (3/15/2011 11:40:35 AM)
grandgnu, What makes you think you are any different than hundreds of men that come here, that have this fantasy? You sure haven't shown any difference between yourself and them. They think all you have to do is present yourself willing and all the lil domina's will be waiting in line to give you... yes... give you, your fantasy. Even after people have tried to explain it to you, you still aren't getting it. The only beating I would do would be a smack upside your head and a firm... 'Wake the fuck up!' We are not fantasy fulfillers here for your entertainment. (Here can mean there too.) Men who think that women are around to service their needs are not in demand... which is something you would have to be to get the service call. There are some here that the domina's would stand in line to play with... because they are so wonderful in so many ways. In fact, we all plan to find a way to do it if we can make it happen. They are friends... they treat us well... we like them and they didn't come in expecting us to fulfill their fantasy. Everywhere they go, they show respect as well as some fun bratty stuff and you... you just come off as a demanding teenager. Get it yet?

leadership527 -> RE: How Do We Find Sadistic Girls For Play? (3/15/2011 11:47:06 AM)
Too bad you don't live where we just moved to. I'm still trying to size up the local kink community, but it appears that here the way you'd find such a person is by putting a personals ad on Fetlife... Hey, I'm bored. Anyone want to come on over and spank my ass? I'm tentatively very approving of the much more candid and open way that sexuality is handled here... or at least... appears to be handled.

grandgnu -> RE: How Do We Find Sadistic Girls For Play? (3/15/2011 1:48:29 PM)
I think the doms here are approaching this with an incorrect viewpoint. You seem, imo, to be applying a dom/sub or mistress/slave relationship qualifier to this. "be interesting", "develop a relationship". That's not what I'm looking for or who I'm looking for. I'm looking for sadomasochistic play, plain and simple. And I'm looking for females interested in the same. This is not a whips, chains, leather, latex, stereotypical arrangement. There are people out there who just want to meet people and get fucked, both male and female. In this instance, I want to meet females who want to hurt and humiliate someone for their pleasure, and it just so happens that's my pleasure too. Unfortunately it seems there's an overabundance of (to me) useless dancing around to play the Dom/Sub roles, which are not the types of relationships I'm looking to find.

Arpig -> RE: How Do We Find Sadistic Girls For Play? (3/15/2011 1:57:39 PM)
Shit dude...that's so easy it isn't funny. Go down to your local gay bar on ladies night and loudly proclaim that all dykes are ugly slags who should be kicked in the cunt. Trust me, your dreams will be fulfilled in no time.

LadyPact -> RE: How Do We Find Sadistic Girls For Play? (3/15/2011 2:05:44 PM)
Could be. It could also be that those of us who do top casually are more likely to do so with people that we enjoy playing with and not just playing with anybody. It can be compared to something like casual sex. Would you rather do that with somebody who is more interesting to share that with because you can have fun together or somebody who just happens to like to screw and is a convenient hole? You can say that you don't like the Domme/sub dance, which is fine. You're obviously just looking for people to top you and you should be straight up and honest about that. At the same time, you're having difficulty finding what you are looking for, right? You wouldn't have created the thread if that wasn't the issue. The reason for that is that there are way more male bottoms out there than there are female tops. If you went into a bar where there were way more males than females and started asking folks if they wanted to fuck and you were coming across as you think that you are doing them some kind of favor fulfilling their desire to get laid, how well do you think that would go over? That's the way that this is coming across, except with kink.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: How Do We Find Sadistic Girls For Play? (3/15/2011 2:05:52 PM)
Look, on this board you're talking to a bunch of women who value interpersonal relationships. Women like that are the majority. Women who just want to beat some random fuck up and then leave are in the minority (and to be honest, they're kind of scary, and not in the sexy way). You are not going to get the answer you want on this board. You're looking for sadomasochistic play. Fine. But there's twenty of you for every one woman who's also looking for sadomasochistic play, and that woman is probably going to choose her friends over you. So either you put effort into being her friend, or you resign yourself to being at the back of the queue. That's the situation, whether it's lifestyle bdsm or just shits and giggles. Sorry.

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