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RE: i dont understand - 4/17/2011 2:49:51 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA
Tell him the following:  Given you're still "under consideration", you'll also be "considering" other Doms/Masters who already feel you "worthy". I'll bet ya a million dollars he'll so suddenly find you "worthy" that your head will spin!!!  

The "under consideration" thing is total bullshit, and a certain red flag you've found a newbie pretending to be something he's not... but that's another thread.

I agree, and when that thread gets started, you and I can debate it again, just like we have every time before. 

The only hang-up that I've got with the post is that there is no clarity.  In what areas are you 'not worthy' OP?  I can honestly say if, for example, I was with someone who didn't have the obedience level that I wanted from them prior to a collar, but they were making progress to get there, I could possibly see Myself saying that we weren't ready yet.  Maybe someone who was still struggling with the amount of control that I wanted.  An area such as that, perhaps?


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Profile   Post #: 41
RE: i dont understand - 4/17/2011 2:56:27 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

I'm having a little problem with the idea that you've been his girlfriend for 3 years, live together, but you're "under consideration" to see if you're "worthy" to be his submissive or slave.


Yea, that part bothered me, then I looked at the profiles and according to them, she is in the US under consideration and he is in Australia looking for a sub and willing to relocate? Now I am really confused.


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Profile   Post #: 42
RE: i dont understand - 4/17/2011 5:17:29 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Yea, that part bothered me, then I looked at the profiles and according to them, she is in the US under consideration and he is in Australia looking for a sub and willing to relocate? Now I am really confused.


There's no profile exactly matching his name on CM - you got the closest match. (I've made this mistake too :)

(in reply to thishereboi)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: i dont understand - 4/17/2011 6:30:18 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

Yea, that part bothered me, then I looked at the profiles and according to them, she is in the US under consideration and he is in Australia looking for a sub and willing to relocate? Now I am really confused.


There's no profile exactly matching his name on CM - you got the closest match. (I've made this mistake too :)


Ok, thanks. I wish all my confusions were this easily cleared


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Profile   Post #: 44
RE: i dont understand - 4/17/2011 7:37:21 PM   
HannahLynHeather


Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
Status: offline 		you've been together for 3 years and he is now putting you under consideration to see if you're worthy? you have got to be kidding me!

first of all the whole "under consideration" thing smacks of chat room fantasy to me. a person is under consideration from the first moment communication begins (which was over 3 years ago) and remains under consideration right up to the point where a commitment is made to each other (which was roughly 3 years ago). it implies no duties to either side. "under consideration" is just another way of saying "being fucked without any commitment on his part".

my advice? dump the twat, you deserve far better.

hannah lynn

< Message edited by HannahLynHeather -- 4/17/2011 7:39:57 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: i dont understand - 4/21/2011 7:06:04 PM   
subbykat


Posts: 115
Joined: 4/9/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: newsubnokc

i am trying to understand this lifestyle but having trouble grasping everything. Master told me last week we would have a talk on Sunday at 2:30. He asked me what i wanted. i told him that i wanted to be his sub. Then he said that i was still under consideration until i was worthy

Is this normal?



Christina Abernathy who wrote Erotic Slavehood said "a submissive will substitute her will for her Master's". The Master has to be very clear about what he wants from his sub. And you need to be sure that you can serve those needs. You haven't proven that you can yet, which is why you're still under consideration.

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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: i dont understand - 4/21/2011 7:07:54 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		After 3 years, it should be clear! Geesh. What nonsense. This dude is jerking her around.

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Profile   Post #: 47
RE: i dont understand - 4/22/2011 7:41:36 AM   
coookie


Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subbykat



Christina Abernathy who wrote Erotic Slavehood said "a submissive will substitute her will for her Master's". The Master has to be very clear about what he wants from his sub. And you need to be sure that you can serve those needs. You haven't proven that you can yet, which is why you're still under consideration.



Wow what a bunch of poppycock! Perhaps her fella hasnt been clear in what he wants yet. Perhaps neither her nor he has no clue what they are doing.

OP communicate with him. Ask him what his expectations are as a dominant but also from you and this life choice.

(in reply to subbykat)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: i dont understand - 4/22/2011 9:05:24 AM   
subbykat


Posts: 115
Joined: 4/9/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: coookie


quote:

ORIGINAL: subbykat



Christina Abernathy who wrote Erotic Slavehood said "a submissive will substitute her will for her Master's". The Master has to be very clear about what he wants from his sub. And you need to be sure that you can serve those needs. You haven't proven that you can yet, which is why you're still under consideration.



Wow what a bunch of poppycock! Perhaps her fella hasnt been clear in what he wants yet. Perhaps neither her nor he has no clue what they are doing.

OP communicate with him. Ask him what his expectations are as a dominant but also from you and this life choice.



I disagree. You know Coookie, mouthiness is certainly behavior that is unworthy of a good submissive, you know?

(in reply to coookie)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: i dont understand - 4/22/2011 12:05:56 PM   
coookie


Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline 		lol subbykat you make me think of castlerealm all over again.

I believe i will leave the chastising up to my Master. Thank you for your opinion though.

OP like i said ... communicate as much as you need to so that both you and he understands what is expected. Good luck.

< Message edited by coookie -- 4/22/2011 12:06:32 PM >

(in reply to subbykat)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: i dont understand - 4/22/2011 12:13:53 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

I disagree. You know Coookie, mouthiness is certainly behavior that is unworthy of a good submissive, you know?


Since I will not lay any claim to being a "good submissive" (personally I like the title "good person" much better), I will ask, what the hell is a "good submissive"? and how do you recognize one?

Hint: you will not endear yourself to others here (or elsewhere for that matter) if you start telling other submissives they are not subly enough, not a "good submissive", etc etc etc... Not that you should necessarily care about winning friends and influencing people, but if you want to alienate others, you are doing beautifully.

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(in reply to subbykat)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: i dont understand - 4/22/2011 12:17:11 PM   
subbykat


Posts: 115
Joined: 4/9/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

I disagree. You know Coookie, mouthiness is certainly behavior that is unworthy of a good submissive, you know?


Since I will not lay any claim to being a "good submissive" (personally I like the title "good person" much better), I will ask, what the hell is a "good submissive"? and how do you recognize one?

Hint: you will not endear yourself to others here (or elsewhere for that matter) if you start telling other submissives they are not subly enough, not a "good submissive", etc etc etc... Not that you should necessarily care about winning friends and influencing people, but if you want to alienate others, you are doing beautifully.


Thanks. I'll pass on making friends with people who judge me or preach at me. For the record, I was referring to a "good submissive" according to my Master's rules.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: i dont understand - 4/22/2011 12:21:17 PM   
coookie


Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline 		So the question remains "why would i want to be a good submissive to your master?" he is not mine. There is no one true way. Yes i am opinionated and yes i need to adhere to his rules of behaviour but he does not mind if i am honest when i think something is ridiculous.

(in reply to subbykat)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: i dont understand - 4/22/2011 12:25:10 PM   
subbykat


Posts: 115
Joined: 4/9/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: coookie

So the question remains "why would i want to be a good submissive to your master?" he is not mine. There is no one true way. Yes i am opinionated and yes i need to adhere to his rules of behaviour but he does not mind if i am honest when i think something is ridiculous.


Who said anything about making YOU his submissive ROFL!? A person would actually have to EARN that privilege...lol.

(in reply to coookie)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: i dont understand - 4/22/2011 12:28:53 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

Thanks. I'll pass on making friends with people who judge me or preach at me. For the record, I was referring to a "good submissive" according to my Master's rules.


When I was involved with my last dom he had one rule he was stringent about when I posted here. I was never to tell someone they were a bad or a good dominant or submissive. I could be mouthy, I could be argumentative (he actually loved it when I argued about politics), but I could not tell someone they weren't real, true, bad or whatever other insult to their role in the lifestyle I could think up... I still find value in following that rule even though he and I are no longer together. Now, I do not expect others to follow his rules, as they were his. And the last I looked, no one but you on this forum is submitting to your master, so why should we care what the fuck he thinks?

As far as lecturing, it seems you are doing to others what you claim to dislike, lecturing coookie on her "mouthiness"...

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(in reply to subbykat)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: i dont understand - 4/22/2011 12:32:15 PM   
subbykat


Posts: 115
Joined: 4/9/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

Thanks. I'll pass on making friends with people who judge me or preach at me. For the record, I was referring to a "good submissive" according to my Master's rules.


When I was involved with my last dom he had one rule he was stringent about when I posted here. I was never to tell someone they were a bad or a good dominant or submissive. I could be mouthy, I could be argumentative (he actually loved it when I argued about politics), but I could not tell someone they weren't real, true, bad or whatever other insult to their role in the lifestyle I could think up... I still find value in following that rule even though he and I are no longer together. Now, I do not expect others to follow his rules, as they were his. And the last I looked, no one but you on this forum is submitting to your master, so why should we care what the fuck he thinks?

As far as lecturing, it seems you are doing to others what you claim to dislike, lecturing coookie on her "mouthiness"...


I was giving an example of what my Master considers worthy or unworthy submissive behavior, which was to address the topic of the thread. Mouthiness is one of them. If you want to interpret that as a personal attack directed at you, that is your right.
Besides, I don't think it's fair to lecture me when cookie has been undermining what I wrote, calling it "poppycock". That's mouthy. I didn't give her any shit to start with, but she has been insulting me in my other thread too.

< Message edited by subbykat -- 4/22/2011 12:42:25 PM >

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: i dont understand - 4/22/2011 12:33:55 PM   
coookie


Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
Status: offline 		Then do not project your master's idea of how my behaviour should be here in a forum. If N. thinks that i am innapropriate here then he will deal with it. Like i said though, he approves of my ability to think for myself and articulate appropriately.

Back on topic....

OP If talking to him is intimidating perhaps you could write how you feel. I empathize with you because it is frustrating to try to work towards something you are unsure of. Sometimes it is a leap of faith.

(in reply to subbykat)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: i dont understand - 4/22/2011 12:34:34 PM   
ChatteParfaitt


Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline 		i dont understand

Me either, I think you two need to have a serious talk.


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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: i dont understand - 4/22/2011 12:35:32 PM   
subbykat


Posts: 115
Joined: 4/9/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

i dont understand

Me either, I think you two need to have a serious talk.



That's the problem with "serious" talks. They are too serious. :)

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: i dont understand - 4/22/2011 12:36:45 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

After 3 years, it should be clear! Geesh. What nonsense. This dude is jerking her around.


What she said One example of a guy who is jerking around and obviously successfully

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(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 60
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