quote:

ORIGINAL: princess2m

Hello. I am a sub who is fairly new to the lifestyle and I have been doing some reading online. One concept that I am having trouble wrapping my mind around (no pun intended) is the philosophy behind and purpose of the "mind fuck". I think I understand what it is, but conceptually, I do not have a clear understanding. Would respectfully like to hear other's perspectives on this topic.

Thank you so much!
Princess

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

ooooooo i adore a good mind fuck... in the right place and time.

An example of a mind fuck might be a Dominant and a sub at home, He is pulling out some knives from a case, Cutting a piece of paper with ease while the sub watches, indicating the sharpness of each.

The Dom then ties up the sub, blindfolding her, all the while whispering into her ear how the sight of blood and cut flesh excites him and how she is his sub, so she should trust him. (keep in mind, she does trust him for this to actually work)

As the first kiss fo steel flickers across her (or his) flesh, she feels a wetness against her skin. In her mind, he has just cut her.

In reality, he has pulled an extremely dull knife from his his case, along with a small bottle of oil.

Its all in her head, and her excitement is growing. Some may term this as role play. To me, its a great mind fuck. And can be played out many way, knives not being a requirement.

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Please note. I don't have any opinion on those who engage in "mind fucks". If it works for them, great. But in the interests of showing other sides to this question, I'd like to point out that everything Tazzy said would be perceived as lying and deception in my marriage and so it'd have all the usual results of that behavior. Carol would process this as me being "untrustworthy" because I led her to believe one thing while another was true. If I did that regularly, she would come to believe nothing I said. Hell, in fact, I'd think of it as lying also.

quote:

Please note. I don't have any opinion on those who engage in "mind fucks". If it works for them, great. But in the interests of showing other sides to this question, I'd like to point out that everything Tazzy said would be perceived as lying and deception in my marriage and so it'd have all the usual results of that behavior. Carol would process this as me being "untrustworthy" because I led her to believe one thing while another was true. If I did that regularly, she would come to believe nothing I said. Hell, in fact, I'd think of it as lying also.

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

ooooooo i adore a good mind fuck... in the right place and time.

An example of a mind fuck might be a Dominant and a sub at home, He is pulling out some knives from a case, Cutting a piece of paper with ease while the sub watches, indicating the sharpness of each.

The Dom then ties up the sub, blindfolding her, all the while whispering into her ear how the sight of blood and cut flesh excites him and how she is his sub, so she should trust him. (keep in mind, she does trust him for this to actually work)

As the first kiss fo steel flickers across her (or his) flesh, she feels a wetness against her skin. In her mind, he has just cut her.

In reality, he has pulled an extremely dull knife from his his case, along with a small bottle of oil.

Its all in her head, and her excitement is growing. Some may term this as role play. To me, its a great mind fuck. And can be played out many way, knives not being a requirement.

For instance, the Dom takes his sub for a ride. During the ride, he instructs her to put on a blind fold. No explanation given. He then drives her for a while so she doesnt know her bearings. they end up back at home (unbeknownst to her). He leaves her briefly at the door, slips inside and turns on a CD of a room full of people laughing and chatting up a storm, giving her the impression she is at a party. As he walks her through the room, he fondles her breasts, strokes her thighs, grabs at her ass, leaving her with the impression that other people are doing all this.

Im sure you can imagine how many different ways this could play out.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Palliata
The way I've always thought of it is that lying under normal circumstances is completely unacceptable from either side, within the bounds of a relationship, but within a purely sexual context the not knowing can be exciting. I make it clear with subs up front that I have a tendency to do things like that, so as to prevent any sense of my being an inherently dishonest person. It seems to work out fairly well. That said, I can see where you're coming from with it and that's something that took me quite a bit of philosophising to reconcile.

quote:

ORIGINAL: princess2m

Hello. I am a sub who is fairly new to the lifestyle and I have been doing some reading online. One concept that I am having trouble wrapping my mind around (no pun intended) is the philosophy behind and purpose of the "mind fuck"