RE: Doms and PUAs - a similar skill-set? (Full Version)

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LillyBoPeep -> RE: Doms and PUAs - a similar skill-set? (3/23/2011 8:56:24 AM)

i think there are lots of definitions for "power;" i like when someone can exert power over me, or exudes his own power. not necessarily that he's a bigshot CEO or politician.

and humor = yay. all for that. ^_^



DesFIP -> RE: Doms and PUAs - a similar skill-set? (3/23/2011 10:02:13 AM)

I think it means that you're attracted to superficial guys with con artist skills. No correlation here as I avoid PUAs like the plague, have always been able to spot them and identify them since I was underage. Nothing about them says dominant to me.



marti200965 -> RE: Doms and PUAs - a similar skill-set? (3/23/2011 10:09:21 AM)

maybe you are just attracted to that type of man and it has nothing to do with being dominant

did you have the same problem when you were dating vanilla men?



porcelaine -> RE: Doms and PUAs - a similar skill-set? (3/23/2011 10:36:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I think it means that you're attracted to superficial guys with con artist skills. No correlation here as I avoid PUAs like the plague, have always been able to spot them and identify them since I was underage. Nothing about them says dominant to me.


While most find the term unsettling, I think everyone has their own style when approaching the opposite sex. Some are simply better at it than others and it doesn't always imply superficiality or shallowness that are the ad nauseum war cries uttered on the Internet. I have a hard time distinguishing the difference between someone with the said preference and say dominance, submission, red hair, etc.

Namaste,

~porcelaine



littlewonder -> RE: Doms and PUAs - a similar skill-set? (3/23/2011 5:16:05 PM)

they're very different for me personally. I'm not attracted to pick up artists. I find their attempts lame and desperate. Instead I find a dominant man that I would be attracted to, to be full of confidence and simple to go after what he wants isntead of having to rely upon some stupid line to get me in bed.

If Master had approached me like so many men did I would never have even bothered any further. His presence, literally was all it took because he carries that air of confidence that shows your dominant personality.



porcelaine -> RE: Doms and PUAs - a similar skill-set? (3/23/2011 5:21:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

they're very different for me personally. I'm not attracted to pick up artists. I find their attempts lame and desperate. Instead I find a dominant man that I would be attracted to, to be full of confidence and simple to go after what he wants isntead of having to rely upon some stupid line to get me in bed.


And yet a lot of comments on this board lend the impression that their are supposed dominant men echoing the behavior mentioned. So either we're saying they're really not dominant, or simply accept that there are some who utilize these tactics to find partners.

Namaste,

~porcelaine



Hillwilliam -> RE: Doms and PUAs - a similar skill-set? (3/23/2011 8:59:50 PM)

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that most all Doms are (or could be if they wanted to be) PUA's .

Most PUA's are not Doms tho.



Jennislut -> RE: Doms and PUAs - a similar skill-set? (3/23/2011 9:18:57 PM)

quote:

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that most all Doms are (or could be if they wanted to be) PUA's .
based on the cmails i get, id have to disagree - most of them couldnt pick up a woman if they were the only man on an island of nymphomaniacs.



Hillwilliam -> RE: Doms and PUAs - a similar skill-set? (3/23/2011 10:21:59 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Jennislut

quote:

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that most all Doms are (or could be if they wanted to be) PUA's .
based on the cmails i get, id have to disagree - most of them couldnt pick up a woman if they were the only man on an island of nymphomaniacs.

Maybe you're getting cmails from people who want to be Doms and not folks who ARE Doms.

I mean this, a Dom will pay attention to his target. He will see a gorgeous ass and then read the profile and "oops, a lesbian (insert handshake icon here)* Hi, wanna be friends and that's it? and that is as far as it goes. You dont get messages from them.

A PUA will also pay attention to his target. I'm not talking about some "Jersey shore" loudmouth who takes home the desparate chick.

I'm talking about the artist. He decides who will be sharing his bed before she even sees him. If he sees noone that is acceptable, he accepts that the evening will be filled with beer, darts, pool, music, fun and camaraderie and then he goes home.

The pickup ARTIST is a picky SOB who is happy to hang out with newfound and old friends.

When he spots the target, it is very likely that they will soon be sharing company and she thinks it is HER idea.

He is probably not tall, wealthy or particularly good looking but he IS intelligent and has a knack for making those he talks to also feel that way.

That is what an artist does.



Kana -> RE: Doms and PUAs - a similar skill-set? (3/23/2011 10:24:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jennislut

quote:

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that most all Doms are (or could be if they wanted to be) PUA's .
based on the cmails i get, id have to disagree - most of them couldnt pick up a woman if they were the only man on an island of nymphomaniacs.


Hey, Don't be screaming my secrets from the rooftops now, eh?



porcelaine -> RE: Doms and PUAs - a similar skill-set? (3/23/2011 10:46:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that most all Doms are (or could be if they wanted to be) PUA's .

Most PUA's are not Doms tho.


The dominant men I'm most attracted to are crafty as all get out. They have an uncanny way of spinning intricate webs to trap their prey when they encounter one worth possessing. Not that I'm aware of these things. [:D]

Namaste,

~porcelaine



IronBear -> RE: Doms and PUAs - a similar skill-set? (3/23/2011 11:38:04 PM)

Been down the track of sitting and just smoldering and been down the track or trying to me charming and witty, but found that when I attract a wide variety of people, I am not aware of anything but being myself.. I am very much aware that over the last few years my level of charisma has declined possibly getting old has this effect.. Still I can step it up when I am in interesting company and we are talking about things in which I am also interested in. Still assessing all this and processing it too. Eventually I trust I may have it worked out before the end of the millennium. I'm inclined to cheat and stay with the subjects and people interested in them in that I have some expertise.  If the conversation level is above the usual pub type natter I remain interested..

I have too taken the leaf out of an elderly Dom friend who is somewhat an elderly chick magnet and refrained from mixing with the public kink crowd but stayed with the mundanes who have a surprising level of kink (albeit mostly, it appears, bedroom kink). I may emulate him in finding a couple of collars who are poly interested and BDSM interested too at a beginners level..



LillyBoPeep -> RE: Doms and PUAs - a similar skill-set? (3/24/2011 12:11:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jennislut

quote:

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that most all Doms are (or could be if they wanted to be) PUA's .
based on the cmails i get, id have to disagree - most of them couldnt pick up a woman if they were the only man on an island of nymphomaniacs.


so very true =p hahaha



NocturnalStalker -> RE: Doms and PUAs - a similar skill-set? (3/24/2011 12:26:45 AM)

I cut "Z's" into their clothing like Zorro. 



Awareness -> RE: Doms and PUAs - a similar skill-set? (3/24/2011 4:57:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

they're very different for me personally. I'm not attracted to pick up artists. I find their attempts lame and desperate.
  What makes you think you could spot one?

This idea that a woman can easily spot a PUA is a conceit.  A good pickup artist knows how to play the game to a level which defies conventional understanding.  No PUA would ever use a pickup line.  That's not how it works.



porcelaine -> RE: Doms and PUAs - a similar skill-set? (3/24/2011 7:38:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

This idea that a woman can easily spot a PUA is a conceit.  A good pickup artist knows how to play the game to a level which defies conventional understanding.  No PUA would ever use a pickup line.  That's not how it works.


What makes pick up artists successful in my opinion is their ability to tailor the dialogue to that specific person. Whereas he doesn't have an m.o. so to speak, but his approach is based on the information he knows or gleans about the other party. And while many keep positing the differences between the two. I will say that I think some dominant men are quite the pick up artist. Perhaps they didn't utilize the skill for nefarious reasons, but that doesn't mean it isn't there. I've encountered a few with very good game.

Namaste,

~porcelaine



windchymes -> RE: Doms and PUAs - a similar skill-set? (3/26/2011 11:09:41 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I think it means that you're attracted to superficial guys with con artist skills. No correlation here as I avoid PUAs like the plague, have always been able to spot them and identify them since I was underage. Nothing about them says dominant to me.


You couldn't be more wrong. My experience has always been that great sense of humor equals high intelligence and the ones with the looks and power were the superficial ones, which believe me, I spot. So fast that their eyeballs spin.



porcelaine -> RE: Doms and PUAs - a similar skill-set? (3/26/2011 11:29:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

My experience has always been that great sense of humor equals high intelligence and the ones with the looks and power were the superficial ones, which believe me, I spot. So fast that their eyeballs spin.


Adds you to my screening team. That insight would be priceless! [;)]

Namaste,

~porcelaine



Awareness -> RE: Doms and PUAs - a similar skill-set? (3/27/2011 5:19:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine
What makes pick up artists successful in my opinion is their ability to tailor the dialogue to that specific person. Whereas he doesn't have an m.o. so to speak, but his approach is based on the information he knows or gleans about the other party. And while many keep positing the differences between the two. I will say that I think some dominant men are quite the pick up artist. Perhaps they didn't utilize the skill for nefarious reasons, but that doesn't mean it isn't there. I've encountered a few with very good game.
  I'd argue that talking to a woman with the aim of seducing her is hardly nefarious.  It's pretty much what men do most of the time anyway, PUA's just do it with a greater deal of awareness.

PUA's have transitioned from being men who fake the signals of dominance and high self-worth to becoming the kind of men who naturally display dominance and high self-worth.  There's been a progression and these days, authenticity is fairly highly regarded.  There's the necessity to have a realistic understanding of women without the requisite bitterness that a lot of men seem lug around. 



ranja -> RE: Doms and PUAs - a similar skill-set? (3/27/2011 6:03:20 AM)

If you are looking for a one night stand or an illicit affair i would think a pick up artist is the perfect guy to let yourself be picked up by

if you are looking for a longterm relationship it is generally best to not be picked up at all, but rather go through a slower sort of dating process (depending on no of dates often puas do not have the patience for this) that allows you to actually get to know the person on a somewhat 'deeper' level before you let him swoon you in taking your pants down... good old fashioned tactics.



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