Pro Domme and Profiles... (Full Version)

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DommeKeliDallas -> Pro Domme and Profiles... (3/23/2011 9:07:07 AM)

If a woman on CM has a profile stating that she is a PRO DOMME, it means that she is EXPECTING COMPRNSATION of some kind.
If you reply to her, KNOW this and don't waste your time or hers by trying to get her to change her mind and give you a free session.

You will just be frustrated that you can't get your pervy needs met and you will also tick her off by wasting her time.

Many subs before you have been "leg-humpers" wanting the same thing you have.

A Pro Domme wants men who APPRECIATE HER and will SHOW HER in person with gifts that they VALUE her for helping them achieve their subspace.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: Pro Domme and Profiles... (3/23/2011 9:15:03 AM)

Do you have a question? For Mistresses?

Because it doesn't exactly sound like you do, and that's the name of the forum and all...

[8|]



YSG -> RE: Pro Domme and Profiles... (3/23/2011 9:17:03 AM)

Really? How DARE they disrespect you and your buisness in such a manner!

Ok, honestly, this rant is getting old. Its part of the pro domme buisness. If you dont like the buisness you're in, then get out of it and get a regular 9-5 job.



LadyNTrainer -> RE: Pro Domme and Profiles... (3/23/2011 9:17:41 AM)

You're preachin' to thin air, lady.  The guys who randomly solicit female profiles for free kinky sex, whether they are bothering lesbians or friends-only profiles or pro profiles, don't read profiles.  They don't read forums either.  It's a complete waste of time yelling at them where they'll never hear it.



LadyNTrainer -> RE: Pro Domme and Profiles... (3/23/2011 9:29:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: YSG
Ok, honestly, this rant is getting old. Its part of the pro domme buisness. If you dont like the buisness you're in, then get out of it and get a regular 9-5 job.


That doesn't make it right, and that doesn't make it okay, for men to harass or attack or be obnoxious to sex workers.  And sadly, entitlement to do just that is part of the prevailing culture.  I don't think that's a good thing, and I do think it's reasonable to raise awareness and respect for women who have the right to set their personal boundaries and have them respected even if they're not those of a "nice girl". 

If you rape an escort it's still rape.  If you harass a pro dom, it's still harassment.  Telling us to suck it up and like it or quit the business is, frankly, just another form of male entitlement that says it's okay to do this to women who aren't nice and chaste and saving it for the men they love.  I had thought you capable of better than that.



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Pro Domme and Profiles... (3/23/2011 9:33:17 AM)

No question, just an advertisement. Business slow in Dallas these days?



DommeKeliDallas -> RE: Pro Domme and Profiles... (3/23/2011 9:38:39 AM)

This is advice...try and keep up.

There are MANY Pro Dommes on here and people who are just pervs...can't we all get along? LOLOL



marti200965 -> RE: Pro Domme and Profiles... (3/23/2011 9:45:57 AM)

wow, people are wasting your time on the internet

that really sucks i feel your pain


maybe you should ask for a refund[8|]



leadership527 -> RE: Pro Domme and Profiles... (3/23/2011 9:46:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer
Telling us to suck it up and like it or quit the business is, frankly, just another form of male entitlement

I disagree. I'm all for "suck it up" and it has nothing to do with male entitlement. It has to do with the realities of running a business -- any business. I have yet to run a business where the customers didn't try to get something for nothing. I see it as my job to clearly set expectations up front and enforce boundaries as required. If I ran a paper store and someone came in and asked, "Will you give me a free ream of paper if I buy one?" I wouldn't think anything of that. I'd answer the question and move on. If they browsed around in the store taking up my time asking questions for endless hours then left without buying anything I'd also think nothing of that. These are both very normal business scenarios.

Your tossing of the "male entitlement" flag is pretty cheap. Nazi's next?



marti200965 -> RE: Pro Domme and Profiles... (3/23/2011 9:50:34 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer


That doesn't make it right,



No it isn't right, however much like the boys who whine because some women don't state that they expect a tribute up front

this is the internet and cm is a free site for kinksters

you are going to get assholes from both sides and starting a thread to complain won't help anything.



kissheels -> RE: Pro Domme and Profiles... (3/23/2011 9:53:48 AM)

are you one who ask money or gift cards  just to initiate a first basic conversation? not a "session" still trying to get the concept of an online session but thats another topic..



LadyNTrainer -> RE: Pro Domme and Profiles... (3/23/2011 10:29:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527
I disagree. I'm all for "suck it up" and it has nothing to do with male entitlement. It has to do with the realities of running a business -- any business. I have yet to run a business where the customers didn't try to get something for nothing. I see it as my job to clearly set expectations up front and enforce boundaries as required.


That is a valid perspective.  So is mine; there really *is* a culture of male entitlement that basically says you can't rape a whore; once a woman has given up the protection of chaste "nice girl" status she is free game for any kind of sexual harassment or even sexual violence. 

I really do think there is some of that going on here.  Women on adult sites are told that if they don't want to be sent dick pictures or explicitly sexual invitations, they shouldn't be on adult sites at all.  The consequence to that is basically to reinforce the idea that if she's not a nice girl who stays within the approved cultural boundaries of limited sexual expression, she is no longer allowed any personal boundaries and it's okay to stick your dick in her face.  Personally I think it is a better idea to educate guys that just because a woman is out there in the BDSM community, regardless of her reasons for being there, it does NOT make it okay not to respect her personal sexual boundaries.

A good analogy is if you told lesbians that they should stay the hell away from the greater BDSM community if they couldn't handle being rudely propositioned or groped by men.  Sorry, but that is not the answer.  The answer is to set standards of reasonable behavior so that everyone feels safe and welcome.  If you fail to do that, IMO you are failing the community itself. 



MistressMeltz -> RE: Pro Domme and Profiles... (3/23/2011 10:37:47 AM)

yeh, pretty much
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

They don't read profiles.  They don't read forums either.  It's a complete waste of time yelling at them where they'll never hear it.




YSG -> RE: Pro Domme and Profiles... (3/23/2011 11:09:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

quote:

ORIGINAL: YSG
Ok, honestly, this rant is getting old. Its part of the pro domme buisness. If you dont like the buisness you're in, then get out of it and get a regular 9-5 job.


That doesn't make it right, and that doesn't make it okay, for men to harass or attack or be obnoxious to sex workers.  And sadly, entitlement to do just that is part of the prevailing culture.  I don't think that's a good thing, and I do think it's reasonable to raise awareness and respect for women who have the right to set their personal boundaries and have them respected even if they're not those of a "nice girl". 

If you rape an escort it's still rape.  If you harass a pro dom, it's still harassment.  Telling us to suck it up and like it or quit the business is, frankly, just another form of male entitlement that says it's okay to do this to women who aren't nice and chaste and saving it for the men they love.  I had thought you capable of better than that.



LNT, I get your point, and to an extent, I agree about a certain level of "male entitlement". However, I wouldnt put trying to get a free session on the same level as rape. Is what the OP complaining about a pain in the ass? Yes, I'm sure it is. However, coming onto a forum like this and having a temper tantrum like a 3 year old (not to mention the nasty email she sent me) is not the solution. Block and delete would, in my opinion, be a far better one.

Edit to add: I would tell the same thing to any person, regardless of gender, race, etc, who said they were dissatisfied with their buisness/job/etc. An individual is responsible for their own happiness and life choices.



Arpig -> RE: Pro Domme and Profiles... (3/23/2011 11:34:28 AM)

quote:

A Pro Domme wants men who APPRECIATE HER and will SHOW HER in person with gifts that they VALUE her for helping them achieve their subspace.
Wow! And to think for all these years I thought what they wanted was money.



leadership527 -> RE: Pro Domme and Profiles... (3/23/2011 11:50:54 AM)

Well, don't get me wrong. I won't argue against things like "common human decency" even in a business setting. I just don't expect business relationships to be about anything other than profit/expense. I expect the provider to try to do the least possible for the maximum money. I expect the customer to try to get maximum benefit for minimum money. Any other outcome is delightful to me when it happens but I don't expect it.

You can, I suspect, understand why I, as a male, would look askance at generic and negative statements about "male cultures".



Lockit -> RE: Pro Domme and Profiles... (3/23/2011 11:58:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DommeKeliDallas

This is advice...try and keep up.

There are MANY Pro Dommes on here and people who are just pervs...can't we all get along? LOLOL


You try and keep up! You are the person that constantly posts stupid shit like this. You are the one asking simple questions a practiced domina/pro/whatever the fuck you are, should know.

You are constantly downgrading the men around here, when you should know that some are very wonderful. You lump men all up into a grouping and figure because they don't want to pay... they are less of a man or submissive. I have never heard you say one good thing about a man. Not, one in my memory and I do tend to remember your posts.

You are always disrespecting men and you don't seem to have any balance whatsoever.

It isn't anyone's fault that you are unhappy and need funds to do whatever or ask for them. I don't see many other professionals complaining... the one's that actually can come here and talk about things rather than ask silly questions about their own profession.

Now take your happy ass on down the road and stop being so silly or... deal with it.



stellauk -> RE: Pro Domme and Profiles... (3/23/2011 12:04:57 PM)

I think this is another thread under the section Mistress Answers Before A Question Is Asked.

To me it's not just a case of perceived male privilege, it might also be that other prevalent Internet phenomena - what i call 'selective intelligence'.

These are generally people who have English as their first language, have apparently got through education, hold down jobs, can probably get through the Sunday edition of the New York Times in an afternoon, but have tremendous difficulty when it comes to understanding what is written on a CM profile.

These are the people who just 'don't get it', even when you explain it to them. The sort of people who make you think of that Pink Floyd song 'Comfortably Numb'.



LadyPact -> RE: Pro Domme and Profiles... (3/23/2011 12:18:50 PM)

I concur completely with VC.  There wasn't a question included in the original, nor was it anything that was directed at female Dominants.  The topic isn't one of how pros can cut down their nonsense traffic or ask other women how they attempt to reduce theirs.  It's another thread created to spotlight the OP.

Jeff had an important point.  Anybody in business is going to deal with those who will take up your time, even if they don't end up being a customer.  I don't think I've run across any of the pros on the forums or from knowing them in real life that have said that every single contact pays off.  Some of the potential "clients" never spend a dime.  They do the equivalent window shopping, asking questions, but never buy what you're selling.  I'm sure that ratio tends to go up if people don't take you seriously in the first place.



Wheldrake -> RE: Pro Domme and Profiles... (3/23/2011 1:27:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Well, don't get me wrong. I won't argue against things like "common human decency" even in a business setting. I just don't expect business relationships to be about anything other than profit/expense. I expect the provider to try to do the least possible for the maximum money. I expect the customer to try to get maximum benefit for minimum money. Any other outcome is delightful to me when it happens but I don't expect it.



That's a little too cutthroat for me, actually. I think "common human decency" should lead the customer to feel good about supporting a (hopefully) socially valuable and well-run business, and the provider to feel good about offering a worthwhile product or service to the community at a reasonable price. I don't look kindly on providers who price-gouge and cut corners, or customers who push too hard for that free ream of paper you mentioned earlier.

From that perspective, I don't think it's at all unreasonable for a pro-domme to be annoyed about being constantly asked for free sessions, especially if she politely makes it clear on her profile that she's a professional who really does need and expect to be paid. People should respect her need to earn a living.



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