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RE: mistresses with bad attitudes! - 3/31/2011 9:29:54 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
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RE: mistresses with bad attitudes! - 3/31/2011 9:40:06 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stockingdresser

Unfortunately i have come accross many on here. You start a conversation....follow their rules, then they simply ignore you!! i have spoken to a few other people on here who have had the same experiences. Slaves are told on here how to approach dominant woman, but it seems some mistresses are just unapproachable.....shame

Rearrange these words to make a well-known phrase or saying:

Hoo.

Boo.

Fucking.

(Answers are upside down at the bottom of page 45)

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RE: mistresses with bad attitudes! - 3/31/2011 9:55:19 AM   
Steponme73


Posts: 552
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline 		You have to get used to it. This is the internet and you are dealing with "people". Some, most are nice...some aren't. That just is the way it is...
Don't take it personally. They may view your profile, which I haven't, and decided you were not their type, so why bother with responding. It happens all the time.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 23
Mistresses with "bad" attitudes - 3/31/2011 11:54:32 AM   
NiceGuyNihilist


Posts: 194
Joined: 3/25/2011
Status: offline 		Women like men who are a challenge; whatever they may claim, their actions nearly always bear this out. An intrinsic problem with approaching women with a purely submissive attitude is that submissiveness by itself offers no back-and-forth, no dance. In your interactions with these women, have you presented yourself as totally malleable, totally obedient from the beginning? That could be exactly the problem.



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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: mistresses with bad attitudes! - 3/31/2011 12:14:01 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stockingdresser

Unfortunately i have come accross many on here. You start a conversation....follow their rules, then they simply ignore you!! i have spoken to a few other people on here who have had the same experiences. Slaves are told on here how to approach dominant woman, but it seems some mistresses are just unapproachable.....shame


Without having read all the other replies, well, there are also rules of conduct (manners) on how to behave in public, now would you complain if you approached a woman anywhere in public, you'd be polite and all and they simply wouldn't show any interest or sort of fade away when they realize you are maybe not what they are looking for or that there is not enough chemistry? Why should it be different just because there is a mutual BDSM interest?

How would you feel if you draw back from some woman you are simply not interested in and she would have a temper tantrum about how unfair you behave? To be honest you can follow all the rules in the book, if I think there is no chemistry or something you say will strike me the wrong way or you are looking for something that doesn't mesh with me, I would also end the conversation - it has nothing to do with being a D or s type (for lack of a better word), it's just how humans behave.

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Those who do and those who don't!

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(in reply to stockingdresser)
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RE: mistresses with bad attitudes! - 3/31/2011 12:17:26 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stockingdresser

Nope i dont have this problem offline.....but the conversation is never about the bdsm lifestyle!!
subs often get criticised for their attitudes......just asking if anyone else has come accross dommes with bad attitudes........thats the question....


Yes we have, also we have come across a lot of subs with bad attitudes, bad attitude is not linked to dominance or submission.

Now please enlighten us, do you think complaining about Dommes who don't indulge you in conversation or whatever you please, shows a great attitude on your part and will curry favors with said Dommes?

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to stockingdresser)
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RE: mistresses with bad attitudes! - 3/31/2011 2:00:45 PM   
LadyNTrainer


Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stockingdresser
Actually i have had emails back, and exchanged nice conversation, but on many occasions they just stop the conversation without even a "thanks but no thanks"......the first response to my subject says it all doesn't it...


Have you considered that you may be doing something that turns them off?  Or that they may have looked at your profile and decided they were not into what you are clearly into (eg, stockings)?  People have the right to do that, y'know.

What have these "nice" conversations looked like?  Did you get sexually explicit at any point, tell them your kinky fantasies, ask them for sex or intimacy, send a nude picture or ask them for a nude picture?  Many women will instantly end a conversation that they thought was nice when it turns not-nice.  And all the stuff I mentioned is pretty not-nice when you're in the process of just getting to know a lady. 


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(in reply to stockingdresser)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: mistresses with bad attitudes! - 3/31/2011 2:03:15 PM   
shallowdeep


Posts: 343
Joined: 9/1/2006
From: California
Status: offline 		Perhaps, in an ideal world, some form of "no thanks" message would accompany the end of exchanges. That really is an extra courtesy, though – not something owed. As LadyPact pointed out, trying to extend that courtesy can backfire in practice. Things aren't ideal for women, either; they can't count on receiving only a gracious, "Ah, I understand – thanks for all your time!" sort of response back.

I think one very important realization to make is that no one is entitled to to another person's time here. If you can genuinely view the time people do spend talking with you as a plus, rather than becoming upset about the time some people aren't making for you, I think you'll find your experiences far more enjoyable. As an added bonus, I'm guessing that attitude generally makes someone a bit more attractive to talk to.

To a point, conversations tapering off aren't something to take personally. Things happen, people get busy, interest wanes, meteors strike. Or something like that. However, if you are consistently failing to get responses, it's probably worth thinking about your approach before blaming the outcome on rude, unapproachable women. What is it about your messages that makes responding to them a pleasure rather than a chore?

Usually, the rule about doing unto others as you would have them do unto you is a good one, but you need to be careful about applying it blindly here. If finding people to talk with about BDSM is new, it's probably pretty exciting. It might seem like the natural thing to focus on in conversation, but remember that the people you are talking to, despite their interest in BDSM, are still people. If you primarily express an interest in someone as a fulfillment of kinky fantasy, not in who they are as a person, that's eventually likely to feel pretty objectifying and very off-putting. I'd suggest reading this story: The Bitch in High Heels. Ask yourself who you want to be in it. All those things that work in your offline conversations without the BDSM? Try not to forget them here.

To end on a positive note, there are plenty of women here with great attitudes. Keep your own positive, be considerate, and you'll probably find better luck talking with some.

(in reply to stockingdresser)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: mistresses with bad attitudes! - 3/31/2011 2:31:00 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shallowdeep
I'd suggest reading this story: The Bitch in High Heels.


Wow. I'd not read that before. I'll heartily second that recommendation: it's really good.

So sad, though. Bollocks, I'm glad I'm not female. Even gladder I'm not a femdom.

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http://www.domme-chronicles.com


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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: mistresses with bad attitudes! - 3/31/2011 5:18:15 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		OP, I suspect one of two things:

1. The conversation turned to something that made them uncomfortable or bored them, and they quit.
2. They had to leave for a few minutes and when they got back, there was a nasty or plaintive message from you.

In future, if the conversation stops, give them three minutes.    Then shoot her a message stating "Sorry, I have to go now."  Send her a message next day stating that you enjoyed chatting with her and hope to do it again soon.  If there's a problem, she might tell you.


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"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: mistresses with bad attitudes! - 3/31/2011 8:27:54 PM   
hausboy


Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stockingdresser

HMMM....by the looks of it.....someone has just been fired from their cleaning job.....


I'm not sure I understand what this remark implies....

(in reply to stockingdresser)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: mistresses with bad attitudes! - 3/31/2011 9:06:45 PM   
SexyBossyBBW


Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline 		If you wrote to someone, and after a time, they lost interest, them's the breaks.

If you actually read her profile, and write indicating that, without seeming like you have your pecker in one hand while typing, and she fails to reply, it's either rudeness, she's busy, or she doesn't like/want you. Life. M

P.S. Your other (probable problem), is you joined less than a month ago, can you say impatient?! And you are literally on the other side of the world. I've never evem checked how many hours it takes to fly to china. M

< Message edited by SexyBossyBBW -- 3/31/2011 9:09:34 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: mistresses with bad attitudes! - 4/1/2011 1:38:21 AM   
SDFemDom4cuck


Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline 		Simply because there are similar interests between two people doesnt mean there is an automatic connection or chemistry. I've spoken to many males who have an interest in cuckolding. Some I've stayed in contact with for a long time and some have just faded away. Simply sharing interests doesnt mean connection.

In most cases when the same outcome occurs repeatedly then one has to look at what the common denominator is in those outcomes. Since the common denominator seems to be you then perhaps looking at what is occuring at the time of the disconnect. There may be a pattern of behavior that shows itself.
,




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She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Mistresses with "bad" attitudes - 4/1/2011 2:19:08 AM   
SexyBossyBBW


Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceGuyNihilist
Women like men who are a challenge; whatever they may claim, their actions nearly always bear this out. An intrinsic problem with approaching women with a purely submissive attitude is that submissiveness by itself offers no back-and-forth, no dance. In your interactions with these women, have you presented yourself as totally malleable, totally obedient from the beginning? That could be exactly the problem.

I do not like men who are a challenge, because it has usually meant, he in underecucated, or extremely stubbborn, thinks men should lead because they possess peni (a lesson from their moms usually. Likewise, I don't like men who act like underage dummies, posing to be cool.
I like a man who stands, takes responsibilities, and cares for his woman above all else. M

_____________________________

"..touching was and still is and always will be the True Revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Only when there are many people who are pools of peace, silence, understanding, will war disappear." -Osho

(in reply to NiceGuyNihilist)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Mistresses with "bad" attitudes - 4/1/2011 3:31:21 AM   
Arieno


Posts: 32
Joined: 2/4/2011
Status: offline
quote:

I do not like men who are a challenge, because it has usually meant, he in underecucated, or extremely stubbborn, thinks men should lead because they possess peni (a lesson from their moms usually. Likewise, I don't like men who act like underage dummies, posing to be cool.
I like a man who stands, takes responsibilities, and cares for his woman above all else. M


I received the Navy Cross and the Marine Corp Medal of Honor, not because I was challenged by my enemy but because I respected his courage. Challenge means nothing without courage and a readiness to die.

(in reply to SexyBossyBBW)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: mistresses with bad attitudes! - 4/1/2011 10:31:47 AM   
MistressHeaIs


Posts: 6
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stockingdresser

Unfortunately i have come accross many on here. You start a conversation....follow their rules, then they simply ignore you!! i have spoken to a few other people on here who have had the same experiences. Slaves are told on here how to approach dominant woman, but it seems some mistresses are just unapproachable.....shame


I've been registered as a dominant woman here now for less than 4 hours and have an over whelming response to my profile, and I do not have my picture up yet, but can imagine that it happens to lots of women here, dominant or submissive. Be persistent, but if your rude in your approach, you won't get an answer.

(in reply to stockingdresser)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: mistresses with bad attitudes! - 4/1/2011 1:04:07 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: mistresses with bad attitudes! - 4/1/2011 1:07:07 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stockingdresser

Unfortunately i have come accross many on here. You start a conversation....follow their rules, then they simply ignore you!! i have spoken to a few other people on here who have had the same experiences. Slaves are told on here how to approach dominant woman, but it seems some mistresses are just unapproachable.....shame


If you give us an example of the last message you sent before she stopped talking to you I will be happy to give you some pointers.

(in reply to stockingdresser)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: mistresses with bad attitudes! - 4/1/2011 1:24:52 PM   
Tantriqu


Posts: 2026
Joined: 12/29/2006
Status: offline 		This, and in fact, both last month:

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven OP, I suspect one of two things:
1. The conversation turned to something that made them uncomfortable or bored them, and they quit.
2. They had to leave for a few minutes and when they got back, there was a nasty or plaintive message from you.


I *am* an individual! It's not an 'attitude', it's a fact.
So, if you messaged me, for example, saying something REALLY witty, I'd likely reply with a one-line banter then a thanks/good wishes msg and that would be it, since just from your fetish do-me user-name, I'd know we're completely incompatible, and I'm looking for real-time lovers, not on-line.
SO: if you're not a do-me bottom fetishist, change your user-id to something subblie, like, 'You rang?'.
If you ARE a do-me bottom fetishist, recognise that few straight life-style dommes would be interested, and start fishing for pro's.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Mistresses with "bad" attitudes - 4/1/2011 2:14:46 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NiceGuyNihilist

Women like men who are a challenge; whatever they may claim, their actions nearly always bear this out. An intrinsic problem with approaching women with a purely submissive attitude is that submissiveness by itself offers no back-and-forth, no dance. In your interactions with these women, have you presented yourself as totally malleable, totally obedient from the beginning? That could be exactly the problem.






MASSIVE FAIL.

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(in reply to NiceGuyNihilist)
Profile   Post #: 40
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