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-=BDSM - One True Way=- - 3/31/2011 5:40:13 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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Often we find ourselves explaining that BDSM has many sub factions, many styles and that there is no one true way. Yet I see people painting colorful metaphors explaining that our own styles are correct or better, when in fact it’s a personal choice. This reminds me of a movie clip in which Jet Li as Hou explains tea and martial arts.

Tea & Martial Arts (movie clip - Fearless)

Tanaka: Mr. Huo, according to what you say, you don’t really know the nature of tea.

Huo: It’s not that I don’t know. I don’t really want to know. Because I don’t care about evaluating teas. Tea is tea.

Tanaka: But each tea has its own character and properties.

Huo: What is the purpose of grading? These many teas are grown in nature, all of them. Is there a discernible difference?

Tanaka: Yes, once you learn this, you can tell the difference between the teas.

Huo: What you say may be right, but the way I see it is, the tea doesn’t judge itself. It’s people that judge its grading. Different people choose different things. As for me, as far as I’m concerned, I just don’t want to make any choice.

Tanaka: - Oh, is that so?

Huo: - Drinking tea is a mood, really. If you are in a good mood, the grade of tea doesn’t matter.

Tanaka: I've never looked at it like that. I understand that there are many wushu fighting styles. Are you saying that no style is greater than another?

Huo: That’s what I’m saying.

Tanaka: If that is true, I want to ask you: If wushu does not differ in any way, why do we fight each other?

Huo: I believe for all the styles of wushu, there is no single one that is superior. All of those who practice different styles of wushu, they would naturally have a different level of skill. Through competition, we can discover ourselves.

Tanaka: What you just said makes me have more respect for you.

I hope you enjoyed the clip and the perspective.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

Post #: 1

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 3/31/2011 5:58:04 AM

CastlesKT

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Joined: 3/10/2011
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OMG thank You so much. This is perfect. I am new to this and my Master has me reading and searching around and I am sort of in information over load as far as "What am I? sub, slave, toy etc" I really don't like titles or pigeon holes, especially being new. What I am taking from this is to just be happy being what you are, what is in your nature to be and to grow in a natural way over time.

Thanks again, katie

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 2

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 3/31/2011 6:50:54 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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I agree that there's no one true way. But I disagree that it isn't worth discussing. Because just as you might prefer the taste of one tea to another, so we all prefer different styles. They simply fit us better.

_____________________________

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Cynical and proud of it!

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RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 3/31/2011 6:51:45 AM

Kana

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"All things end in the Tao
as rivers flow into the sea."

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to CastlesKT)

Post #: 4

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 3/31/2011 6:54:46 AM

manonabike

Posts: 7
Joined: 3/26/2011
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There is one way: My way. Then there are all the many ways other people get it wrong trying to do it their way, which they can't help because they are not me. This is how I think of it and how you would, too, if you weren't you. If you disagree you prove me right! It's an unavoidable conclusion, to be accepted as fact without question. Few things are as satisfying as a wholly self-serving ideology nestled snugly in the unshakable certainty of egocentric delusion.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 5

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 3/31/2011 7:12:51 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CastlesKT
OMG thank You so much. This is perfect. I am new to this and my Master has me reading and searching around and I am sort of in information over load as far as "What am I? sub, slave, toy etc" I really don't like titles or pigeon holes, especially being new. What I am taking from this is to just be happy being what you are, what is in your nature to be and to grow in a natural way over time.

Thanks again, katie

I agree. Yes, be happy being what you are. Grow into it over time. When you get there, you'll know which label(s) fit you so you can communicate to others about who you are and what you like. In the meantime, as far as titles go, many here just lump it all into which side of the kneel you're on and call it S-types.

I never disliked labels. We need them to communicate, to generally define ourselves to others. I do believe that whichever label you are, it is no better or worse than another label under this BDSM umbrella. Like comparing apples and oranges to claim one is better when in fact they both fall under the fruit umbrella and it is a matter of personal taste, not quality or "grading" like our tea example.

I am glad this post served you to some degree. Thank you for the note and you're welcome.

-Kalon Eric

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to CastlesKT)

Post #: 6

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 3/31/2011 7:25:04 AM

Ishtarr

Posts: 1130
Joined: 4/30/2008
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Is choosing to grade tea inferior or superior to choosing not to grade tea?

Or is it that expecting others to make the same choice we ourselves made in regards to our desires to grade tea is that which is inferior to letting others make up their own mind?

_____________________________

Du blutest für mein Seelenheil
Ein kleiner Schnitt und du wirst geil
Egal, erlaubt ist, was gefällt

Ich tu' dir weh.
Tut mir nicht Leid!
Das tut dir gut.
Hör wie es schreit!

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 7

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 3/31/2011 7:38:43 AM

gungadin09

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Joined: 3/19/2010
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i like grading tea, but only the tea i drink myself. i believe in allowing others to decide whether or not to grade tea.

pam

< Message edited by gungadin09 -- 3/31/2011 8:17:22 AM >

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 8

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 3/31/2011 7:47:13 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ishtarr

Is choosing to grade tea inferior or superior to choosing not to grade tea?

Or is it that expecting others to make the same choice we ourselves made in regards to our desires to grade tea is that which is inferior to letting others make up their own mind?

“expecting others to make the same choice we ourselves made” when it comes to personal taste, is certainly not the broader perspective. Even if you have impeccable taste like I do.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to Ishtarr)

Post #: 9

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 3/31/2011 7:48:10 AM

porcelaine

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Joined: 7/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ishtarr

Is choosing to grade tea inferior or superior to choosing not to grade tea?

Greetings,

i grade the tea and have no problem articulating the differences according to my perspective. It's pretty improbable that my observations will mirror someone else identically. There's also the disparity between the qualifiers and the level of importance granted to each. The multitudinous combinations one could conjure make for a giant pot of diversity.

quote:

Or is it that expecting others to make the same choice we ourselves made in regards to our desires to grade tea is that which is inferior to letting others make up their own mind?

Admission is never the issue. It's the expectation that our truths will ring true for everyone else that gets problematic. When we negate their truth in the process and suggest its abandonment for a philosophy never tested... i think you see where i'm going. At that point it becomes far less about the nuances of the tea than the individual's need to define it for everyone else.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to Ishtarr)

Post #: 10

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 3/31/2011 7:48:20 AM

mnottertail

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White tea is my favorite, followed closely by green, black teas are just fuckin yuk-O!

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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Post #: 11

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 3/31/2011 7:50:02 AM

porcelaine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

White tea is my favorite, followed closely by green, black teas are just fuckin yuk-O!

Black teas are divine. Hedonist!

Namaste,

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 12

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 3/31/2011 7:51:08 AM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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I will stick with my espresso.

Orrr a French Market cafe au lait if I am feeling especially indulgent.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to porcelaine)

Post #: 13

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 3/31/2011 8:40:55 AM

porcelaine

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Joined: 7/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I will stick with my espresso.

Orrr a French Market cafe au lait if I am feeling especially indulgent.

*adores Her*

someone has a penchant for Intelligentsia and illy.

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

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Post #: 14

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 3/31/2011 8:52:02 AM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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I like Illy but a friend from Australia (the guy that taught me the PROPER way to make espresso with Illy in a Bialetti Moka pot) sent me some LavAzza and I like it better.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to porcelaine)

Post #: 15

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 3/31/2011 9:26:56 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

I rather Billy Tea myself, harsh and black as the ace of spades flavoured with the taste of gun leaves which were tossed on the fire to smoke the tea 30 seconds before you lifter the billy off with a good stick to avoid the sacrilegious act of tipping the billy onto the fire.. After pouring a portion in to an enameled mug and sweetened with half a hand full of sugar a slice or two of lemon is good .. If no lemon then a slice or two of lime is also good or even (at a pinch) a slice of orange..

After several months of drinking this elixir, 'tis good to hit the local pub when in town and spend several days drinking 18oz schooners of Fosters followed by whiskey chasers until passing out at about 10pm to rest ready for the next day.. the beer and whiskey has, according to tradition, the effect of removing the layers of tannin the tea adds. As a by note this tea is not so good for tanning Cow or Roo hides but I'll wager it would tan the hide of a sub/slave of applied scolding hot and left there all day as she rides the stock route too..

< Message edited by IronBear -- 3/31/2011 9:27:35 AM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 16

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 3/31/2011 9:29:08 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Well my friend is an Italian Australian........hense the espresso.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 17

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 3/31/2011 10:03:52 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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Sunny! Nominated for the quote of the day:

quote:

Few things are as satisfying as a wholly self-serving ideology nestled snugly in the unshakable certainty of egocentric
delusion.

(in reply to manonabike)

Post #: 18

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 3/31/2011 10:05:17 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I like Illy but a friend from Australia (the guy that taught me the PROPER way to make espresso with Illy in a Bialetti Moka pot) sent me some LavAzza and I like it better.

i tried to wrap my palate around LavAzza and i couldn't. There was something in the aftertaste that didn't gel with me. illy is good for the evening because it is much milder, though i've had the darker roast as well. i don't use the pre-ground. i prefer to grind my beans instead. i encountered Caffe Umbria.several years ago and it was quite tasty. Mind you i was not a coffee drinker at the time. Staring off with excellent products and La Perruche sugar would lead to my ruin. Now i'm joyfully hooked. And the cups, oh dear those illy cups. *le purr*

i knew you had good taste.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 19

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 3/31/2011 10:27:37 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: manonabike

There is one way: My way.

I tend to say the very same thing. If My way wasn't working the best for Me, I'd toss it for something that yields better success. In such a case, I'd explore the ways in which things work best for other people and adopt it as My own. Which really boils down to it becoming My way in the end.

I don't have a problem with other people coming here to talk about their ways being different. There are a number of folks on these boards who have dynamics that are vastly different than Mine. It's not necessary, in My opinion, for their dynamic to be similar to what I would do in My house. All that is necessary is that they have found the way that it works in their house and I'm happy for them. (Why more people can't be happy when that is happening for other people, I can't say, but it's another topic.) As the old saying goes, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

What happens more often than not is that folks come here because what they are doing isn't working. In doing so, we offer up our version or flavor of tea (what works for us) that may be the answer. Those teas are going to be different. The person looking for an answer does grade those teas, in a sense, so that they can take away something that might work for them.

From a certain point of view, I think a person should be assessing what they do and deciding what works best in their life. You should think you've got the best damn tea going or you should want to improve it. Not that you have to inflict those methods on anyone else, but it does need to work best for you.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to manonabike)

Post #: 20

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