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RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 3/31/2011 10:53:47 AM

LaTigresse

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Exactly. I could go into detail with Porcelaine about LavAzza and all the different varieties, how she should try this one or that one, each is slightly different...........but WHY??

She has already found what works FOR HER! We can admire one another's taste, appreciate what the other has, without criticizing, or trying to convert. If she should wax poetic about a specific Illy, that I haven't tried, I might try it and discover.....WOW, that is better than any of my LavAzza! But there is no reason to expect any conformity to appreciate what works perfectly well.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 21

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 3/31/2011 12:04:00 PM

needlesandpins

Posts: 3901
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i shant taste and grade teas because it tastes like mouldy witch's brew to these buds. add milk into that and bleugh.

instead i shall taste and grade coffees for they suit my nature better.

biscuit anyone?

needles

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 22

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 3/31/2011 12:08:25 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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Coffee for the win!

I'm a dedicated cold-brewer. The problem I have now is getting a local roaster in our new town. I may need to have Carol look into roasting at home.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to needlesandpins)

Post #: 23

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 3/31/2011 12:37:44 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
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There is only one true way and it's mine. It's what works for me. As time goes by my way evolves as I learn and grow. I don't discuss the why's n whereof's of what I do nor do I tell ppl there doing it "wrong". As they have to find their own "true way"

Best of in your search BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

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We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 24

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 3/31/2011 2:16:32 PM

porcelaine

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Joined: 7/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Exactly. I could go into detail with Porcelaine about LavAzza and all the different varieties, how she should try this one or that one, each is slightly different...........but WHY??

i'd be all over your LavAzza if you offered me an illy cup. It's shameless but at least i'm honest.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 25

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 3/31/2011 2:23:17 PM

NocturnalStalker

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Joined: 12/4/2010
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Tea sucks. I hate men in particular that drink tea. They should be punted in the skull.

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"The road I walk is paved in gold to glorify my platinum soul."

(in reply to porcelaine)

Post #: 26

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 3/31/2011 4:22:09 PM

porcelaine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

Tea sucks. I hate men in particular that drink tea. They should be punted in the skull.

Oh really? There will be tea.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to NocturnalStalker)

Post #: 27

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 3/31/2011 5:13:47 PM

NocturnalStalker

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Very cute.

_____________________________

"The road I walk is paved in gold to glorify my platinum soul."

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Post #: 28

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 4/5/2011 4:05:36 AM

liveinposs4bislv

Posts: 11
Joined: 3/15/2011
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One product of the western education system is to give you the critical ability to define and compare.
This isn't always helpful when dealing with relationships.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 29

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 4/5/2011 6:05:45 AM

femasoslave

Posts: 472
Joined: 5/24/2009
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So true. And honestly, I have also been a bit guilty in the past of thinking to myself, that how my Master and I live our relationship must be the best way, I'm not that bloody stupid now, in other words, I've grown up!
Its each to their own, what works for one may not generally work for another.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 30

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 4/5/2011 7:45:08 AM

Whiplashsmile4

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ResidentSadist Thank You for taking the time to share this. It resonates "spot on" with where I'm at in life in so many way.

To compare how this relates, I'm having a difficult time in selecting any specific tea or style. It's difficult for me at times being eclectic and knowing the true realization of choice and it affects things.

One of the beautiful aspects of what I'm going to label as a "true" M/s relationship, is that it allows me to explore myself and be myself. Both sides of my internal yin/yang are free.

I was browsing through profiles before hitting up the message board, profile after profile with some measure or standard being sought. Limitations and brick walls confining things towards one side or another of my own yin/yang.

I am finding it difficult to find that ideal match in the words on profiles. That one that will serve me and give me the freedom to be what i will be. "I will be what I will be" is my dynamic mindset compared to "I am what I am", which is rather static.

I am just as capable of tearing somebody to smithereens, using and abusing and them...as I am capable of building them up, loving and guiding them. It's my preference to do either as I see fit according to the moment, situation or otherwise.

If surrender completely to either side of my yin/yang, then I'm out of balance. Sure I could surrender completely to the dark side, perhaps indulge in mind blowing extreme levels of sadism and let it consume me my whole soul. The same could be said, that I could attempt to deny the inner sadistic tenancies. But this is just in terms of sadism.

I see profiles of slaves who desire one extreme or another extreme, with very little breathing room for balance. I don't like this. I want the freedom to hold, kiss and love along with the freedom to spank, choke and call them dirty names. The freedom to both praise or humiliate, be it with a sense of purpose or just because I feel like it.

Most of what is expressed in terms of Limits on the message board, is in the context of activities. I myself have limits, some of them soft, some of them hard. I know these limits because I have either already encountered or explored them in my own life experiences, or I've thought about them and explored them mentally.

I am a little dishearten by what amounts to reading profiles, where I am feeling and seeing these expectations of being internally limited or otherwise boxed in.

I hope this reply makes sense.

_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 31

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 4/5/2011 11:00:12 AM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
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There are so many different styles of BDSM and different kinds of tea/coffee, why sweat it? I only evaluate BDSM styles, tea, coffee and anything else for myself. Just because we have different styles or tastes, it doesn't mean either of us are superior or inferior. It's all a matter of personal taste and what works for each of us. As for labels, I just use them as shorthand to let others know what my style is.....

~sweetsub~

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

Post #: 32

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 4/5/2011 11:21:41 AM

porcelaine

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Joined: 7/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

I was browsing through profiles before hitting up the message board, profile after profile with some measure or standard being sought. Limitations and brick walls confining things towards one side or another of my own yin/yang.

Greetings Whiplashsmile,

Perhaps the perceived limitations aren't such, but merely that individual's truth and an important disclosure to a would be prospect. It's better to know upfront than make the investment only to discover the same down the line. In my opinion most people have a pretty well defined comfort zone with some aspect of flexibility. But that doesn't discount the things they can or cannot abide with. i encounter very few that are completely free flowing in that regard. i most certainly am not.

quote:

I am finding it difficult to find that ideal match in the words on profiles. That one that will serve me and give me the freedom to be what i will be. "I will be what I will be" is my dynamic mindset compared to "I am what I am", which is rather static.

That's interesting. i see profiles that address this in their own way. What differs is the guise or other qualifiers they require for the experience. i can't say this is altogether different from what i've observed from dominant parties.

quote:

I see profiles of slaves who desire one extreme or another extreme, with very little breathing room for balance. I don't like this. I want the freedom to hold, kiss and love along with the freedom to spank, choke and call them dirty names. The freedom to both praise or humiliate, be it with a sense of purpose or just because I feel like it.

i'm not sure of the search parameters you're utilizing. But in the years i've perused profiles i'd posit you'll find more that desire the balance noted than the pure extremism mentioned. And in many instances the latter is fantastical or representative of their initial entrance to kink which is often fetishized. i encounter very few that really crave that form of existence on a continual basis.

quote:

I am a little dishearten by what amounts to reading profiles, where I am feeling and seeing these expectations of being internally limited or otherwise boxed in.

Whereas i love them. i think it's really nice when people put things out in the open and allow you to make an informed decision. Though the writer in me still exercises a healthy dose of skepticism in what i read. Especially when the author is profoundly articulate. As with most things, it all depends on the perspective taken when reading.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)

Post #: 33

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 4/5/2011 1:19:16 PM

NorthernGent

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
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On the one hand, security through identity; on the other hand, security through existentialism.

To each their own, and 'the one true way' is merely a mechanism for drawing a line in the sand in a similar vein to any other idea: human beings and ideas tend to go hand in hand - no matter the idea.

Nothing new there, and who's to say that choices, paths and consequences are more appropriate than the absolute.

Tolerance really shouldn't be tempered by intolerance of the intolerant. It's all or nothing.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 34

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 4/5/2011 1:41:54 PM

NorthernGent

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

There are so many different styles of BDSM and different kinds of tea/coffee, why sweat it? I only evaluate BDSM styles, tea, coffee and anything else for myself. Just because we have different styles or tastes, it doesn't mean either of us are superior or inferior. It's all a matter of personal taste and what works for each of us. As for labels, I just use them as shorthand to let others know what my style is.....

~sweetsub~

Maybe it's extremely bland to say: "yeah, horses for courses", whilst uplifting to say: "bollocks to that, this is what I believe in, and I'm prepared to nail my colours to the mast"?

Possibly. Just an option.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to sweetsub1957)

Post #: 35

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 4/5/2011 1:55:53 PM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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Although I did enjoy the original post and understand the point made, I disagree with the basic theory. Tea is not merely a mood.

I am a tea drinker and readily admit to being snobby as hell about my tea. Some teas are far superior to others; your basic lipton tea that they have here in the states is actually quite awful to most tea afficianadoes. Toss in the fact that I only drink decaf tea, and it's even worse. Like most tea lovers, I drink a wide variety of tea and enjoy many herbal teas, which have health benefits, as well.

I would alter the original analogy to say that there are a wide variety of teas to pick and chose from, what is perfect for one might not be perfect for another. What is perfect for my mood this evening may very well not be perfect tomorrow morning. And most importantly, the real tea lover will grow in his/her knowledge and become better able to chose a great tea, instead of a merely competent one.

(Okay, so I have an online tea timer for my different kinds of tea to ensure each one is steeped the proper number of minutes. I did admit to being snobby about my tea.)

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(in reply to NorthernGent)

Post #: 36

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 4/5/2011 2:23:40 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
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I like to make chai with fresh spices and jaggery gor instead of sugar...but
when he makes it for me then as long as it arrives....hot....and wet....

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Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 37

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 4/5/2011 3:19:36 PM

porcelaine

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Joined: 7/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

I am a tea drinker and readily admit to being snobby as hell about my tea. Some teas are far superior to others

i expected nothing less from you. And i agree, that other brand is an assault on my masochism in the wrong fashion.

quote:

And most importantly, the real tea lover will grow in his/her knowledge and become better able to chose a great tea, instead of a merely competent one.

Seasoned comes to mind. Time and experience teach a great deal.

quote:

Okay, so I have an online tea timer for my different kinds of tea to ensure each one is steeped the proper number of minutes. I did admit to being snobby about my tea.)

Only someone just as a precise could appreciate that form of dedication! i love it.

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 38

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 4/5/2011 5:28:01 PM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

I am a tea drinker and readily admit to being snobby as hell about my tea. Some teas are far superior to others

i expected nothing less from you. And i agree, that other brand is an assault on my masochism in the wrong fashion.

quote:

And most importantly, the real tea lover will grow in his/her knowledge and become better able to chose a great tea, instead of a merely competent one.

Seasoned comes to mind. Time and experience teach a great deal.

quote:

Okay, so I have an online tea timer for my different kinds of tea to ensure each one is steeped the proper number of minutes. I did admit to being snobby about my tea.)

Only someone just as a precise could appreciate that form of dedication! i love it.

Why thank you.

_____________________________

(in reply to porcelaine)

Post #: 39

RE: -=BDSM - One True Way=- - 4/22/2011 9:37:19 AM

Destinysdiary

Posts: 1
Joined: 4/20/2011
Status: offline

Thank you for posting this. i am newly collared, and though familiar with many of the BDSM lifestyle concepts, i am completely new to living the lifestyle. i have many questions and my Master suggested i browse this website to gain insight into the lifestyle. i have come across many versions of the lifestyle, some that agree with my Master's, others that contraindicate. i have come to the conclusion that there could never be 'cliff notes' to the lifestyle - thought there are certainly common threads, it is for each person to make their own without judging the choices of others. Perfectly put ResidentSadist

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 40

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