Out of your comfort zone....

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Out of your comfort zone....

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Out of your comfort zone....

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Out of your comfort zone.... - 4/11/2011 7:53:49 PM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

While I've posted a time or two on this forum, this is my first official question,
and I can only hope that I make it to the submit button in one piece.

Last week, as I was giving Him a hair cut and a shave, I started thinking of all the
times where the role was reversed, and I was at the mercy of his hands.
I became playful with him and acted excited to now be the one in control.
We had a few laughs over that, and I gave him a fantastic shave and haircut.

And then it got me wondering.

As submissives, we often watch you approaching with a variety of implements
in your deliciously sadistic hands, and many of us joyfully feed off of that vulnerability.

As a dominant man or woman, is it more challenging for you to place yourself
in a vulnerable position such as a haircut or shave, or some similar situation where
you aren't the one in control?

And would that level of discomfort vary for you, depending on whether it was your
partner or a professional performing the task?

While these aren't earth shattering questions, I really am curious as to how you as
dominants deal with being out of your comfort zone, even if it is for just a brief time.

Anyone need a hairut?

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

Post #: 1

RE: Out of your comfort zone.... - 4/11/2011 8:08:28 PM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

I find it very difficult to be out of my own personal control zone. I just do not handle it well. This is why I must be with a dominant who can delegate a great deal of power and responsibility back to me.

Want an example? Driving. No one drives the way I do I am the best driver in the world, the rest of you are barely adequate. When my sub comes to town, he drives. He likes to chauffer me, plus he likes being in control of his vehicle. I understand he needs his comfort zone, I don't push that. And yes, sometimes its very hard not to be the one driving.

I would say as a switch, in MOST instances, it is harder for me to give up control than to take it.

_____________________________

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 2

RE: Out of your comfort zone.... - 4/11/2011 8:14:52 PM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

Driving is a great example, and one I can relate to.
I happen to be the second best driver in the world!
(just don't tell Him that please)

Thank you for your response.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 3

RE: Out of your comfort zone.... - 4/11/2011 8:39:16 PM

Palliata

Posts: 371
Joined: 8/9/2010
Status: offline

Doesn't bother me in the least. I can kind of see where it might bother someone else, but I'm a big fan of having things done for me, and if that means relinquishing direct tactile control I'm completely fine with that. As I see it, if I can't control a submissive under any circumstances whatsoever I'm doing something wrong. Even bound, blindfolded, and being tortured I ought to still be in control, and if that isn't the case then a correction needs to be made in the dynamic.

_____________________________

I speak not of The Way, but only My Way. Think it not an indictment of Your Way.

I'm male. I know it sounds female. Work with me.

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 4

RE: Out of your comfort zone.... - 4/11/2011 9:30:27 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

It is intriguing that men put their most vulnerable body part in the mouth's of women... who could exert 120 pounds of pressure if they so choose. Is that what you mean?

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Palliata)

Post #: 5

RE: Out of your comfort zone.... - 4/11/2011 10:09:24 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

Anyone need a hairut?

Reminds me of a dom I went out with who wanted me to cut his hair. Well, to shave the hair on his neck with his hair shaver...thing. Yeah, can you tell I had never done it before? I told him that. I told him I wasn't comfortable doing that. But he insisted. So I shaved his neck. And nicked his ear. It bled.

I'm sure I traumatized him. Hey it's not my fault. I just did what he insisted I do, despite saying it could be trouble.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 6

RE: Out of your comfort zone.... - 4/11/2011 10:29:59 PM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

As a dominant man or woman, is it more challenging for you to place yourself
in a vulnerable position such as a haircut or shave, or some similar situation where
you aren't the one in control?

Being in a position of dominance over a partner, when a mutual commitment towards that end has begun, is a vulnerability to me (as it means I have put a very considerable investment on the table).

The sort of acts you speak of don't quite register to me as "vulnerabilities" as much as instances where I'd be realistically assessing my partner's competence at a task I'm letting them engage in (cutting my hair, driving, whatever).

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 7

RE: Out of your comfort zone.... - 4/11/2011 10:40:28 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

Oh my God!

I hate it how I am at the mercy of the lady at the deli counter!

I like getting a haircut. I am paying for the service. There is no 24/7 Domblood rushing through my veins.

I dine out pretty regularly and I have yet to make a production out of the fact that I am totally capable of finding a table and seating myself.

I like to cook. I don't mind if someone else cooks for me. I don't think they are going to poison me.

I don't think I understand the question.

(in reply to NihilusZero)

Post #: 8

RE: Out of your comfort zone.... - 4/11/2011 10:45:33 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

I'm a dominant alpha male-the world is my comfort zone!

Laughs. No seriously, I like being in my comfort zone-hence the name.
But some things others would be bothered by don't phase me-for instance I love when a slave shaves me. It's a tremendous turn on.
But drive the car-Hell no. I mean, Hell fucking no.

(Besides, in teenytiny print-most the gals I spend time with like guys who, ahem, drive the car)

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 9

RE: Out of your comfort zone.... - 4/12/2011 4:39:59 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

It is intriguing that men put their most vulnerable body part in the mouth's of women... who could exert 120 pounds of pressure if they so choose. Is that what you mean?

You know, not many would even stop to consider this.

LOL

It's one hell of an example

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 10

RE: Out of your comfort zone.... - 4/12/2011 5:05:22 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

But I don't think him getting a haircut is out of his comfort zone. He picks the shop, he tells the barber what he wants, he watches in the mirror and doesn't hesitate to interrupt it if he thinks it isn't being done right. He's always in charge in such a situation even if he isn't manipulating the scissors.

The same is true of many other things. He's in charge even if he's in charge of the person doing it and not doing it himself.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 4/12/2011 5:06:53 AM >

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 11

RE: Out of your comfort zone.... - 4/12/2011 5:40:56 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

It is intriguing that men put their most vulnerable body part in the mouth's of women... who could exert 120 pounds of pressure if they so choose. Is that what you mean?

You know, not many would even stop to consider this.

LOL

It's one hell of an example

So ... that means I'm yooneek! Yay!

(Actually I didn't come up with that - I learned it in self-defense classes

)

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to IrishMist)

Post #: 12

RE: Out of your comfort zone.... - 4/12/2011 6:21:14 AM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

Reminds me of a dom I went out with who wanted me to cut his hair. Well, to shave the hair on his neck with his hair shaver...thing. Yeah, can you tell I had never done it before? I told him that. I told him I wasn't comfortable doing that. But he insisted. So I shaved his neck. And nicked his ear. It bled.

I'm sure I traumatized him. Hey it's not my fault. I just did what he insisted I do, despite saying it could be trouble.

I think this is what spurred my thought process. I wasn't really comfortable
with the knowledge that I could potential screw this up big time, and he would
be marred for a few weeks or so, or at least until his hair grew back out.

Yet I don't have the same uneasiness if he were to cut my hair, or tie me up, or......
It was an interesting comparison for me, which led to the question.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 13

RE: Out of your comfort zone.... - 4/12/2011 6:25:58 AM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

It is intriguing that men put their most vulnerable body part in the mouth's of women... who could exert 120 pounds of pressure if they so choose. Is that what you mean?

Eeeeks! They do that rather often don't they!?
But, what if, attached to that mouth was a hand holding a razor?

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 14

RE: Out of your comfort zone.... - 4/12/2011 11:41:49 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

It is intriguing that men put their most vulnerable body part in the mouth's of women... who could exert 120 pounds of pressure if they so choose. Is that what you mean?

Da bitch would do that once. I wonder how she would look with no fucking teeth? That bobit guy showed remarkably restraint. Id have left her comatose.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 15

RE: Out of your comfort zone.... - 4/12/2011 11:44:38 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Oh my God!

I hate it how I am at the mercy of the lady at the deli counter!

I like getting a haircut. I am paying for the service. There is no 24/7 Domblood rushing through my veins.

I dine out pretty regularly and I have yet to make a production out of the fact that I am totally capable of finding a table and seating myself.

I like to cook. I don't mind if someone else cooks for me. I don't think they are going to poison me.

I don't think I understand the question.

Well that too.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 16

RE: Out of your comfort zone.... - 4/12/2011 11:49:35 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

As a dominant man or woman, is it more challenging for you to place yourself in a vulnerable position such as a haircut or shave, or some similar situation where you aren't the one in control?

It doesn't work that way for me. My default and constant viewpoint is that of being in control. I can choose to submit, but that choice is always that... a choice... and it's always totally within my control. In other words, I never lost control, I just chose a path that looks like submission. In reality it's more like "delegation". It's been a long, long time in my life since when I truly felt out of control. I suppose if enough BadShit(tm) happened to me I'd feel that way again but it's pretty distant from my current world view.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 17

RE: Out of your comfort zone.... - 4/12/2011 11:59:20 AM

rockspider

Posts: 633
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline

It is called the Ugandan version of Russian roulette.
You have 6 gorgeous women you can choose from for a blowjob. Just remember: One of them is a cannibal

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 18

RE: Out of your comfort zone.... - 4/12/2011 1:45:36 PM

NorthernGent

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

A challenge? Something new?

No use in seeking comfort in repitition. How do you learn?

And if it doesn't go according to plan? Dust yourself down, get back on the horse, and have another go.

And if you still come up short? Can't win 'em all.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 19

RE: Out of your comfort zone.... - 4/12/2011 8:08:29 PM

UBICUO

Posts: 6
Joined: 3/24/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

Want an example? Driving. No one drives the way I do I am the best driver in the world, the rest of you are barely adequate. When my sub comes to town, he drives. He likes to chauffer me, plus he likes being in control of his vehicle. I understand he needs his comfort zone, I don't push that. And yes, sometimes its very hard not to be the one driving.

Totally agree with this driving example.

On other kind of things, I don´t feel on the hands of somebody who is doing a haircut to me even if is using a militar knife or something. Can´t really explain why, just don´t feel like I´m not in control.

Maybe a better example for me is a less frightening one. Like when you do legal stuff. In my country, the legal and tax world can be very, very complicated, and I used to have a sub who helped me with taxes. So, to return to the driving example, she was driving there and I was on the passenger site.

(in reply to ChatteParfaitt)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Out of your comfort zone....

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.172