RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom?

RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive

Message

porcelaine -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/21/2011 3:51:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aynne88 However.....he had some traits that I can't deal with, one of them being what find with a lot of Asian men, he is extremely type A and very chauvinistic. my daughter loves Asian culture and is quite attracted to the men as well. i'm certain this is a trait she gained from her father. He had a similar affinity. Nonetheless, what you've stated is correct and that's one of the reasons i've forbidden it and emphasized the points made. Add in the cultural influences which are very different from her upbringing and it's a potential clusterfuck in the making. Even though i enjoy certain elements of male supremacy i wouldn't do it. i have an insatiable appetite for a particular type and i don't deviate. [;)] quote: Right now I am feeling the Italian thing, I think it's a keeper. [;)]. C'est la vie! Ooh you're so cosmopolitan! [:D] Namaste, ~porcelaine

Aynne88 -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/21/2011 3:58:51 PM)
Oh lovely porcelaine, I do hate generalizing, but yes, sadly every Asian man I have dated has been this way, and ones I have worked for and with, or even ones I was just friends with. I too love being in a male led relationship but the extremes to which my ex's took it, just beyond any semblance of normalcy. I lived in constant frustration from just not being listened to at all. Drove me nuts. I am however skilled in cursing in 3 Asian languages. lol....how's that for cosmopolitan? [;)].

Phoenixpower -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/21/2011 4:22:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss .... Looks at my map.... looks at Dublin... seems far.... Depends from where you are looking at that map [;)] From here its close...heck I worked next to Dublin some years ago [8\|] Leaving my employer with just a note on the floor "I am not your slave" [:D] Or, alternatively, as I love to do it, take a map, cut out the parts in between and tape them back together...voila...Dublin is right around the corner [:)] On a serious note OP, I agree with tiggerspoohbear quote: She will if he appeals to her. Now wasn't that easy? One of my first Doms was Indian and I am grateful that he was part of my life during the time he was part of my life...[:)]

gothikbutterfly -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/21/2011 4:25:30 PM)
Me personally, I don't care about race, as long as the Master/Dom doesn't bring me to physical or mental harm, and knows what He is doing.

Hisprettybaby -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/21/2011 4:41:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: renzhengshu curious to know how sub/slave girl think of Asian master/dom I am owned now but, if I were not, I would consider the Dominant on his individual merits/personality, etc, not on his race. I'm just not that way. So Asian men would stand just the same chance with me as any other men. ~Hisprettybaby~

nephandi -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/21/2011 5:02:39 PM)
Greetings quote: my daughter loves Asian culture and is quite attracted to the men as well. i'm certain this is a trait she gained from her father. He had a similar affinity. Nonetheless, what you've stated is correct and that's one of the reasons i've forbidden it and emphasized the points made. Add in the cultural influences which are very different from her upbringing and it's a potential clusterfuck in the making. I do not know how old your daughter is, however regardless of age, what do you think would happen if she came home with an Asian boyfriend and you just rejected him for his race without even getting to know him? I mean for all you know he could be adopted and be named Hank Smith and be completely Western. Anyway, how well do you think it will go in the long run for you as a mother to forbid a type of men your daughter can not date? I wish you well

porcelaine -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/21/2011 5:45:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aynne88 Oh lovely porcelaine, I do hate generalizing, but yes, sadly every Asian man I have dated has been this way, and ones I have worked for and with, or even ones I was just friends with. I too love being in a male led relationship but the extremes to which my ex's took it, just beyond any semblance of normalcy. I lived in constant frustration from just not being listened to at all. Drove me nuts. No dear, i didn't view it that way at all. i appreciate your honesty and you're not the first to echo the same. i've been acquainted with other people that have had similar experiences. In my opinion you'd need a specific kind of conditioning to thrive in that environment. Most women that have been raised with Western values would find it horribly stifling. quote: I am however skilled in cursing in 3 Asian languages. lol....how's that for cosmopolitan? [;)] Tres fabu! Did you add that to your submissive cv? [:D] Namaste, ~porcelaine

porcelaine -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/21/2011 5:59:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nephandi I do not know how old your daughter is, however regardless of age, what do you think would happen if she came home with an Asian boyfriend and you just rejected him for his race without even getting to know him? I mean for all you know he could be adopted and be named Hank Smith and be completely Western. Anyway, how well do you think it will go in the long run for you as a mother to forbid a type of men your daughter can not date? Greetings, She's twenty years old.. :) Given your age i find it very unlikely that you've sired and raised a child as i have. At best you're spinning what if scenarios that you have no direct experience with as a parent and are merely pulling ideas out of the clouds. And in spite of your postulations and suggestions that i would "ruin" my relationship with her, that hasn't happened. Unlike some i have little motivation to sugarcoat the truth or become politically correct to the point of rendering her ignorant. Since you're not privy to the reasons behind my decision save what i've disclosed, it's an impossible position to debate. And at any rate, my daughter isn't the topic at hand and i make no apologies for my response. i stand by my original remarks. Namaste, ~porcelaine

sunshinemiss -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/21/2011 6:45:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: porcelaine Most women that have been raised with Western values would find it horribly stifling. ~porcelaine Yes. It is. I actually wrote about that recently, and I hope you will humor me as I paste a portion of it here: quote: You said that you don’t have to prove you’re a woman. As it applies to you, I trust that this is true for you. As to other women, however, I don’t think I would necessarily agree with this. I live in a country where the women are something akin to Stepford Wives – in the street. Behind closed doors, they are tough as nails. But here, in this culture, to be a woman is to be feminine. It is like the USA only exponentially. The hair, nails, cutesy wootsy skirts, the long flowing hair, the lace, the heels… the women here who don’t conform – and they are few and far between – are women of steel who deal with heavy discrimination at every turn. They are not seen as “normal” women. They are going against huge cultural pressure. It’s rather like the 1950’s USA in my mind. There is little room to NOT be a feminine woman. (We could debate about whether “normal women” are the only kind of women, but again, I think that may be another thread. I don’t want to lose myself in too many tangents  ) Personally, I am not seen as a woman here at all. I don’t fit the stereotype in the least. It is in fact one of my deepest losses – I don’t have the opportunity to express my femininity / womanhood here because how I define that is so completely different, so foreign, that it just doesn’t mesh. I’m like the 3 headed dog guarding the River Styx. Nobody really wants to come near me in that way. When I lived in So. America, my definition of womanness tended to be much closer to that of the dominant culture, and therefore I had no need to prove it. I do see your point. I just see it in a different context. *EDITED TO CLARIFY - it's not that I can't EXPRESS my femininity / womanhood - it's actually that it is not ACKNOWLEDGED. Without that give and take, without the yin to my yang, I experience a deep loss of feminine energy. It is not possible to "prove" I am a woman because I am in fact NOT their definition of woman. Therefore, I live in a non-sexual / non-gender limbo while I am here. (Of course when I leave this country and travel to other places, it is a wholly different experience. But there is yet another one of my tangents.) Don't get me wrong - I love some of the things here about Korean culture, but I've chosen NOT to date the men here because of (amongst other things) the attitude toward women and I've found that the men have two kinds of sexuality - they are apologetic for wanting to do anything (including kiss you) or they are totally the opposite and so demanding / perverse in their wants that it creeps me out. I've found that the more cosmopolitan men are not like this. Sadly, they are few and far between here in Korea. best, sunshine

nephandi -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/21/2011 8:35:52 PM)
Greetings quote: Given your age i find it very unlikely that you've sired and raised a child as i have. At best you're spinning what if scenarios that you have no direct experience with as a parent and are merely pulling ideas out of the clouds. And in spite of your postulations and suggestions that i would "ruin" my relationship with her, that hasn't happened. Unlike some i have little motivation to sugarcoat the truth or become politically correct to the point of rendering her ignorant. Since you're not privy to the reasons behind my decision save what i've disclosed, it's an impossible position to debate. And at any rate, my daughter isn't the topic at hand and i make no apologies for my response. i stand by my original remarks. I have no children, however I do have a mother as I did not spring forth from the thin air so no I am not merely spinning scenarios from the clouds, and let me tell you that my mother lost her right to dictate my actions and to allow or disallow me anything when I turned 18. It do not mean that I do not listen to her advice, her greater life experience, however if she had started to put demands on what race of men I could date or in other way treating me as a child when I was 20 then yes that would put a strain on our relationship. Also not being a racist is not ignorant, however being a racist like you are is about as ignorant as it get. You are drawing everyone under the same comb based on race, not accounting for culture, individually or anything else, just race. No my dear I do not think you will loose your relationship with your daughter, she have been raised by you and if I am going to make a politically incorrect statement then I might point to the statistics saying that the children of racists then to become racists themselves. I wish you a little more wisdom.

SexyBossyBBW -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 1:14:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: renzhengshu curious to know how sub/slave girl think of Asian master/dom I can't imagine why not. Well I can, but everyone has choices/desired traits, and if you expect that you're going to be EVERYONE's cup of tea, you're going to be sorely disapointed. M

porcelaine -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 1:52:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss Yes. It is. I actually wrote about that recently, and I hope you will humor me as I paste a portion of it here Greetings sunshine, Thank you for expounding. i'm really glad you did. Although your experiences are very unfortunate. i can't imagine what it's like, but i believe something good will come out of it. :) quote: I do see your point. I just see it in a different context. my daughter is atypical of many women her age. She didn't date, never wore makeup, and didn't engage in girlie exploits. Her time was devoted to academic pursuits, competitive sports (golf & crew) and extracurricular activities. She isn't a tomboy, but her expression of femininity is more bohemian in nature. We're making progress now that she's no longer competing. i'm going to show her your post just to offer another perspective on the subject. That's always a plus. Thank you again. Namaste, ~porcelaine

porcelaine -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 2:04:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nephandi I have no children, however I do have a mother as I did not spring forth from the thin air so no I am not merely spinning scenarios from the clouds, and let me tell you that my mother lost her right to dictate my actions and to allow or disallow me anything when I turned 18. Greetings, The remark about not having children is a reflection of the changes one undergoes when that happens. i can readily attest that many philosophies i once held about child rearing altered significantly when i became a parent. Oftentimes the same holds true for others. As for your relationship with your parent, that is honestly between the two of you. i have a very close bond with my daughter and maintain a well defined openness that we both appreciate. quote: It do not mean that I do not listen to her advice, her greater life experience, however if she had started to put demands on what race of men I could date or in other way treating me as a child when I was 20 then yes that would put a strain on our relationship That's a fair assessment for you. But we're clearly okay with our relationship. Which leads me to wonder what's the issue? quote: Also not being a racist is not ignorant, however being a racist like you are is about as ignorant as it get. You are drawing everyone under the same comb based on race, not accounting for culture, individually or anything else, just race. i'm not a racist and whether you choose to believe that or not is of no consequence. Your wishes are well noted but my stance remains unchanged. What i do find very peculiar is why you've taken it upon yourself to address this with me more than once. To the degree that you're making an allegation towards a virtual stranger. And yet you suggest i lack wisdom? In that assessment you err. i'm wise enough to know that adults will raise their offspring in the manner they deem best and recognize it's neither my right nor place to suggest differently. Furthermore, as previously noted, my daughter is not a topic for debate and as far as i'm concerned this discussion is tabled. Namaste, ~porcelaine

nephandi -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 9:36:42 AM)
Greetings quote: The remark about not having children is a reflection of the changes one undergoes when that happens. i can readily attest that many philosophies i once held about child rearing altered significantly when i became a parent. Oftentimes the same holds true for others. As for your relationship with your parent, that is honestly between the two of you. i have a very close bond with my daughter and maintain a well defined openness that we both appreciate. I am not saying you do not have great relationship with your daughter. The problem is she is 20 years old, she is an adult woman, do you not think that is a little old for you to order her what she can and can not do? Off course a mother never stops being a mother to her kids, however at some point you have to accept that she is now adult and have to make her own decisions and face the consequences of her own mistakes. I also find it a bit ironic that you forbid your adult child from dating Asians as you fear they will not let her decide over her own life because she is a woman and yet you yourself are dictating her life, the life of this adult who by law are fit to make her own choices about her life. And one more question, what would you do if your daughter did not obey you and begun dating a Asian man? quote: That's a fair assessment for you. But we're clearly okay with our relationship. Which leads me to wonder what's the issue? I guess that for me who have been interested in BDSM for most of my life consensual choice is very important to me. I am not saying the relationship with your daughter is like a BDSM one but there is clearly an unusual and unbalanced power relationship there compared to what is normal between two adults, and I worry that a child raised in a way that she still at 20 blindly obeys her mothers laws might not have had that consensual choice and she would have been raised that way. quote: i'm not a racist and whether you choose to believe that or not is of no consequence. Your wishes are well noted but my stance remains unchanged. What i do find very peculiar is why you've taken it upon yourself to address this with me more than once. To the degree that you're making an allegation towards a virtual stranger. And yet you suggest i lack wisdom? In that assessment you err. i'm wise enough to know that adults will raise their offspring in the manner they deem best and recognize it's neither my right nor place to suggest differently. Yes you are the very definition of a racist, someone who judge an entire race as undesirable without considering the individual or any other factor than their race for your judgement. Look up the definition of racist you fit right smack perfectly in it. As for my comments on the raising of your child. Children are human beings, yes the parents get to raise their children as they see best, but only to an extent. Children is not property or toys, and I have to say I am deeply disturbed over a mother who still control her 20 year old daughter and seam unable to understand that her child is now and adult that should be both able and allowed to make decisions for her own life, and when I see such things that disturb me greatly I think it is perfectly my place and my right to point that out. I wish you well.

Aynne88 -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 10:18:41 AM)
Nephandi, you are just incorrect. Porcelaine is most assuredly not a racist. You are reading something sinister into her opinion that just isn't there. I mean I would never marry an Asian male again ever, but I was for over 2 decades and we are still super close and I love him dearly. Am I also a racist based on my experiences with Asian men to know that another relationship with an Asian male isn't for me? Hardly.

juliaoceania -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 10:34:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aynne88 Nephandi, you are just incorrect. Porcelaine is most assuredly not a racist. You are reading something sinister into her opinion that just isn't there. I mean I would never marry an Asian male again ever, but I was for over 2 decades and we are still super close and I love him dearly. Am I also a racist based on my experiences with Asian men to know that another relationship with an Asian male isn't for me? Hardly. I think it is rather funny that people take personal preference to be some sort of racism. But I will say that you have had a rather small sampling of Asian men to make the logical leap that they are all one way or another way... In studying different cultures from around the world, some of them being "Asian" I have to say that on the whole these men are no more chauvinistic than any other group of people. What group of Asian people are you talking about? I know there are certain Asian groups that are extremely woman centered and women are the power brokers. There are other Asian groups that are very male centric in nature. Also, it comes down to how Americanized the Asian person is, first, second, or third generation? I totally get having a "type" of man to be attracted to, such as I prefer white men. If I met a man that that attracted me intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, and physically it wouldn't matter to me where he was from. I recently met a man who escaped the Killing Fields as a child. He was orphaned, and came here without any family whatsoever. He defies any sort of cultural pigeonholing. I found him to be extremely attractive, and he was completely out of the box for what I would find appealing normally. If I had decided to stay in Long Beach I may have reached out to him because I think the attraction was mutual, but I was leaving the area. He is an extraordinary person. I always leave myself open to the unexpected, and I never say never about anything. Life has a way of making me a liar when I do that, but that is only my own personal experience.

Aynne88 -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 12:36:09 PM)
Hey julia, good to see you again :) I have dated probably a dozen men from Asian countries, mostly Korea and China, some born here, most not, and they were pretty interchangeable as far as the attitudes towards women. I was more willing to overlook it when I was younger I think. I really like and agree with what sunshine wrote, and she lives in Korea. It's identical to what I have found with most Asian men that I encounter. I mean 20 years in a marriage with a Korean exposed me to far more than just that relationship, his huge exteneded family for example. His male relatives with their preference for submissive white women....same thing.

porcelaine -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 12:56:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nephandi I am not saying you do not have great relationship with your daughter. The problem is she is 20 years old, she is an adult woman, do you not think that is a little old for you to order her what she can and can not do? Off course a mother never stops being a mother to her kids, however at some point you have to accept that she is now adult and have to make her own decisions and face the consequences of her own mistakes. I also find it a bit ironic that you forbid your adult child from dating Asians as you fear they will not let her decide over her own life because she is a woman and yet you yourself are dictating her life, the life of this adult who by law are fit to make her own choices about her life. And one more question, what would you do if your daughter did not obey you and begun dating a Asian man? Greetings, No, it really isn't a problem for us and that is what you're failing to take into account. Your fishing exposition will yield no results because i neither explain nor apologize for the methods i've undertaken in her upbringing. And i most certainly wouldn't allow myself to be held under fire by a virtual stranger. This mini crusade and outright hijack over an individual you have no working knowledge of is pretty baffling. quote: I guess that for me who have been interested in BDSM for most of my life consensual choice is very important to me. I am not saying the relationship with your daughter is like a BDSM one but there is clearly an unusual and unbalanced power relationship there compared to what is normal between two adults, and I worry that a child raised in a way that she still at 20 blindly obeys her mothers laws might not have had that consensual choice and she would have been raised that way. And you don't find your makeshift armchair psychology regarding strangers you have no familiarity with to be odd? Coupled with the supposed admonishment and suggestive verbiage you've thrown out? i'm left to wonder if you've encountered problems in your own personal life with persons of authority. quote: Yes you are the very definition of a racist, someone who judge an entire race as undesirable without considering the individual or any other factor than their race for your judgement. With the passionate fervor and bravo you've displayed in your anonymous keystrokes you'd make a wonderful spokesperson for social services. i hope you're directing those energies towards individuals that truly need them. The victimization you're suggesting isn't found in these parts. Though it would seem you have your own issues to work through. This is the worse case of projection that i've encountered in quite some time. Perhaps you should address them before you seek to educate others on their obvious faux pas. Yours are rather glaring. Now just in case my demeanor and polish leaves any question where i've deposited your thoughts and suggestions, allow me to be frank so you won't be confused going forward. Not only am i uncaring, but in all truth you lack the social graces to advise me in any measure. And with all due respect, i'm not inclined to be led by the blind. You may believe you have a 'right' to your postulations. But you'll pardon my decision to dismiss them. Namaste, ~porcelaine

porcelaine -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 1:04:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aynne88 Nephandi, you are just incorrect. Porcelaine is most assuredly not a racist. It is rather funny when you consider my background. [:D] quote: I mean I would never marry an Asian male again ever, but I was for over 2 decades and we are still super close and I love him dearly. Am I also a racist based on my experiences with Asian men to know that another relationship with an Asian male isn't for me? Hardly. Racial preferences make some people very uncomfortable. The only differences about our comments and others is our willingness to admit them openly. What i find most amusing is how this subject differs from other ideas such as weight, money, etc. The whole premise behind blanket acceptance is ridiculous. People choose and scrutinize according to their individual philosophies and some 'enlightened' souls are miffed about those realities. Yet they're guilty of the identical behavior in their mate selection. i find it unlikely that 'anyone' dismisses certain qualifiers in the spirit of being fair. But alas this is the Internet... err Big Top. You can spin those lines until the cow comes home. Barnum would be proud. [;)] Namaste, ~porcelaine

nephandi -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 1:21:02 PM)
Greetings quote: Nephandi, you are just incorrect. Porcelaine is most assuredly not a racist. What do you call judging people ad bad just based on their race then? For I have a dictionary and I am fairly sure it calls that racism. quote: I mean I would never marry an Asian male again ever, but I was for over 2 decades and we are still super close and I love him dearly. Am I also a racist based on my experiences with Asian men to know that another relationship with an Asian male isn't for me? Hardly. Actually yes sort of you are, you are judging people just based on their race, the color of their skin and the shape of their eyes, not who they are as people, that is racism. I am not saying that mean you are a bad person, or that you attack anyone or that you hurt anyone, but yes you are judging just based on race. Now Porcelaine is not just making the decision for herself however she is making racist decisions on behalf of her down daughter who should be able to decide for herself what to do with her life. Now deciding for one self that for some reason or another one race is unacceptable as potential mates is one thing, however when one get involved in the love life of grown children that is the same as when families both white and black can not tolerate a inter racial couple and that is wrong. If the daughter decide on her own not to date Asian men then that is her choice, but when she is pressured by her mother to act that way it is just plain wrong. I wish you well.

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.0625