RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom?

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juliaoceania -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 1:26:50 PM)
quote: Racial preferences make some people very uncomfortable. The only differences about our comments and others is our willingness to admit them openly. What i find most amusing is how this subject differs from other ideas such as weight, money, etc. The whole premise behind blanket acceptance is ridiculous. People choose and scrutinize according to their individual philosophies and some 'enlightened' souls are miffed about those realities. Yet they're guilty of the identical behavior in their mate selection. i find it unlikely that 'anyone' dismisses certain qualifiers in the spirit of being fair. But alas this is the Internet... err Big Top. You can spin those lines until the cow comes home. Barnum would be proud. On the whole I find no particular offensiveness with having a preference towards one type of people over another type of people. I suppose I do get somewhat uncomfortable when it changes from "I prefer people with the same cultural background as myself" to "I do not like these people because they are X,Y, and Z". One statement is an affirmation of what a particular person fancies, the other can be loaded with stereotypes that lead to prejudice and this is the building block of racism. Example, I would be cautious if someone who was Iranian wanted to date me because of all of the negative things I have heard about people from this country, although I have a friend who is married to an Iranian man who is a feminist. For example, the idea that Asian men want submissive women.... I was recently talking to a fellow traveler on vacation and we spoke for a couple of hours about how she and all her friends date only Asian men. Why? She said it was because they had traditional ideas in some ways, yet treated them with respect and as equals. It was because they were ambitious, etc. Now, this is still stereotyping, just in the opposite direction. There is a current fad or trend toward eroticizing Asian women as "submissive" by men in the USA. Asian fetishism is rampant, especially in younger men. These stereotypes of Asian women lead to objectification of them. And I personally know more than one Asian woman is anything but submissive. It is an uncomfortable subject, because, as I said, it is one thing to make a statement of what you are attracted to. It is another to say you are repulsed by things that are stereotypes. I suppose it might just be semantics to you, but if you thought of stereotypes that people hold about American women, and compared yourself to those stereotypes, you might find those stereotypes to be fair... then again, you might see how they undermine our humanity and our individuality. Just some thoughts.

thishereboi -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 1:33:12 PM)
So do you forbid her from dating any other cultures, or is it only asians that you have a problem with? Also how old will she have to be before she gets to decide who she wants to be with? Not trying to be snarky, just trying to understand the reasoning behind the comment.

thishereboi -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 1:35:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: porcelaine quote: ORIGINAL: nephandi I do not know how old your daughter is, however regardless of age, what do you think would happen if she came home with an Asian boyfriend and you just rejected him for his race without even getting to know him? I mean for all you know he could be adopted and be named Hank Smith and be completely Western. Anyway, how well do you think it will go in the long run for you as a mother to forbid a type of men your daughter can not date? Greetings, She's twenty years old.. :) Given your age i find it very unlikely that you've sired and raised a child as i have. At best you're spinning what if scenarios that you have no direct experience with as a parent and are merely pulling ideas out of the clouds. And in spite of your postulations and suggestions that i would "ruin" my relationship with her, that hasn't happened. Unlike some i have little motivation to sugarcoat the truth or become politically correct to the point of rendering her ignorant. Since you're not privy to the reasons behind my decision save what i've disclosed, it's an impossible position to debate. And at any rate, my daughter isn't the topic at hand and i make no apologies for my response. i stand by my original remarks. Namaste, ~porcelaine Actually I thought it was a valid question whether or not the poster has raised children. So what will you do when she walks in the door with an asian boyfriend?

nephandi -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 1:46:56 PM)
Greetings quote: No, it really isn't a problem for us and that is what you're failing to take into account. Your fishing exposition will yield no results because i neither explain nor apologize for the methods i've undertaken in her upbringing. And i most certainly wouldn't allow myself to be held under fire by a virtual stranger. This mini crusade and outright hijack over an individual you have no working knowledge of is pretty baffling. Ah yes you will not answer what you would do if your daughter did you obey you, that is rather telling. I thank the God's I did not grow up with a mother like you, but that I have a mother who love me and accept me for who I am and respect me as an adult. I would ask you if you are one of those parents who would disown and reject a adult child who do no longer obey you, but I would probably not get an answer I assume it looks better for you to say no comment than to answer the question. quote: And you don't find your makeshift armchair psychology regarding strangers you have no familiarity with to be odd? Coupled with the supposed admonishment and suggestive verbiage you've thrown out? i'm left to wonder if you've encountered problems in your own personal life with persons of authority. I have never had any problem with persons of authority, nor was I a particularity disobedient child, however what disturbs me is that you seam to think you are a person of authority over your adult child. And yes my dear I am odd, but at least my oddness do not force another adult human being to obey my rules instead of developing into a strong, interdependent person of their own so I would take my oddness over yours any day. quote: With the passionate fervor and bravo you've displayed in your anonymous keystrokes you'd make a wonderful spokesperson for social services. i hope you're directing those energies towards individuals that truly need them. Thank you, very kind of you to say. quote: The victimization you're suggesting isn't found in these parts. Really, then why are you so afraid to answer the simple question of what would you do if your daughter disobey you and start dating an Asian? quote: Though it would seem you have your own issues to work through. This is the worse case of projection that i've encountered in quite some time. Perhaps you should address them before you seek to educate others on their obvious faux pas. Yours are rather glaring. I have many issues, but none in these areas, though I do have a sense of justice which will not let me sit by and say nothing while a 20 year old adult woman is treated like a child and controlled by her mother. quote: Now just in case my demeanor and polish leaves any question where i've deposited your thoughts and suggestions, allow me to be frank so you won't be confused going forward. Not only am i uncaring, but in all truth you lack the social graces to advise me in any measure. And with all due respect, i'm not inclined to be led by the blind. You may believe you have a 'right' to your postulations. But you'll pardon my decision to dismiss them. How you deal with your own conscience is your own business, there is little I can do to a stranger on a forum other than let my feelings on the matter be known. That being said, my social graces or lack thereof aside, I do not feel the need to control and dictate the actions of a member of my family to feel good about myself. I call them as I see them and when I see a mother controlling the love life of her 20 year old daughter I say something is seriously, seriously wrong. I wish you well.

porcelaine -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 1:54:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania On the whole I find no particular offensiveness with having a preference towards one type of people over another type of people. I suppose I do get somewhat uncomfortable when it changes from "I prefer people with the same cultural background as myself" to "I do not like these people because they are X,Y, and Z". One statement is an affirmation of what a particular person fancies, the other can be loaded with stereotypes that lead to prejudice and this is the building block of racism. Greetings julia, In my opinion everyone discriminates in some fashion. Of course there are those that avoid admitting it or elect to adopt politically correct speech to prevent unintentional offense. Preferring to engage with one race over another (for whatever reasons that person chooses) is no different that an unwillingness to date an individual of a specific size. And as you're aware those threads always erupt because someone finds the thought errant and inevitably argues its unfairness which never made sense to me but whatever floats your boat. i don't believe a preference means you cannot find favor with the party or would never break bread with them. But it might indicate in regard to your intimate relationships that are carnally formed that simply isn't your cup of tea. What we often forget is the degree that most preferences run along. One can have a noted bias for blondes but it may not be to the point where a brunette is out of the question. As for stereotypes and the like, in matters of the heart i care not about Utopian values. i'm interested in being brutally honest and adhere to my personal truths. They needn't go down well for anyone save the person i'm involved with. But to apologize or sweep them aside to assuage someone's esteem or insecurity is not a response i'm willing to embrace. At one point or another we ALL will fall outside of another person's ideal and that's simply a fact of life. Expecting other people to pacify our discomfort with that reality is too conformist for my tastes. PS. Welcome back. It's good to see you again. xx Namaste, ~porcelaine

juliaoceania -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 1:55:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: porcelaine quote: ORIGINAL: nephandi I do not know how old your daughter is, however regardless of age, what do you think would happen if she came home with an Asian boyfriend and you just rejected him for his race without even getting to know him? I mean for all you know he could be adopted and be named Hank Smith and be completely Western. Anyway, how well do you think it will go in the long run for you as a mother to forbid a type of men your daughter can not date? Greetings, She's twenty years old.. :) Given your age i find it very unlikely that you've sired and raised a child as i have. At best you're spinning what if scenarios that you have no direct experience with as a parent and are merely pulling ideas out of the clouds. And in spite of your postulations and suggestions that i would "ruin" my relationship with her, that hasn't happened. Unlike some i have little motivation to sugarcoat the truth or become politically correct to the point of rendering her ignorant. Since you're not privy to the reasons behind my decision save what i've disclosed, it's an impossible position to debate. And at any rate, my daughter isn't the topic at hand and i make no apologies for my response. i stand by my original remarks. Namaste, ~porcelaine I missed this point..... I have a 20 year old, and perhaps I have my head in the clouds, but I would never even think of "forbidding" him from any course of action. The very notion that I should interject on any level who he dates at his age is just ludicrous. He is an adult, he does what he wants, and to forbid him anything at this late stage seems almost comedic to me. Although I wanted to raise a man, not a mouse. It is quite ironic that the very thing you supposedly find objectionable about Asian men (stifling) is the very thing that a parent who tries to control their adult children's love life is doing, so perhaps she would not find that experience so outside of her upbringing after all

porcelaine -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 2:00:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thishereboi So do you forbid her from dating any other cultures, or is it only asians that you have a problem with? Also how old will she have to be before she gets to decide who she wants to be with? Not trying to be snarky, just trying to understand the reasoning behind the comment. Greetings, As i indicated earlier when responding to sunshine her countenance is such where these unions would be less likely to succeed. She's very independent minded and isn't comfortable with some of the cultural aspects that might bring that under fire. Our discussions of the subject took into account who she is and how she prefers to relate with the other person. It is unfair for her to enter situations expecting the individual to change or denounce the customs he's adhered to on her behalf. It was never a matter of suggesting one thing is bad per se. But the greater question of whether she could live with the ramifications of the decision of if she was better suited paired with a gentleman with more common denominators in place. That doesn't imply the latter is more but merely on the same page so to speak. Namaste, ~porcelaine

juliaoceania -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 2:05:35 PM)
quote: In my opinion everyone discriminates in some fashion. Of course there are those that avoid admitting it or elect to adopt politically correct speech to prevent unintentional offense. Preferring to engage with one race over another (for whatever reasons that person chooses) is no different that an unwillingness to date an individual of a specific size. And as you're aware those threads always erupt because someone finds the thought errant and inevitably argues its unfairness which never made sense to me but whatever floats your boat. I absolutely agree that we all should have our own personal preferences. Is it really truly necessary to justify our preferences by listing a bunch of ignorant stereotypes? I find no trouble with people having a size preference, but those who start train wreck threads about their "preference" with "I don't date unhealthy fat slobs" aren't stating a preference, they are listing stereotypes. Not all fat people are unhealthy, and many of them aren't slobs. quote: As for stereotypes and the like, in matters of the heart i care not about Utopian values. i'm interested in being brutally honest I never fail to marvel at the term "brutally honest", as if honest is brutal. That maybe your reality, and you are very welcome to stay in it. quote: and adhere to my personal truths. After examining your "Personal Truths" on this thread, I am glad these truths only apply to you and are not universal. quote: They needn't go down well for anyone save the person i'm involved with. But to apologize or sweep them aside to assuage someone's esteem or insecurity is not a response i'm willing to embrace. At one point or another we ALL will fall outside of another person's ideal and that's simply a fact of life. Expecting other people to pacify our discomfort with that reality is too conformist for my tastes. Cloaking racism in flowery words doesn't work well for me, for even though it is presented in the form of flowery prose, it still stinks. Edited to add, thanks for the welcome back, and hopefully you aren't completely put off by my posts here, I am the first to admit I have ignorant stereotypes, that is the only way I can expunge myself of them is by admitting it to be true

nephandi -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 2:06:23 PM)
Greetings quote: It was never a matter of suggesting one thing is bad per se. But the greater question of whether she could live with the ramifications of the decision of if she was better suited paired with a gentleman with more common denominators in place. That doesn't imply the latter is more but merely on the same page so to speak. Do you not think a 20 year old should be able to decide for herself what she can live with and accept responsibility for the ramifications of those decisions? Is not the job of a parent to raise a child to be responsible adults who can stand by their own decisions, not someone who need their parents to decide what is best for them as adults? I wish you well

porcelaine -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 2:07:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nephandi Ah yes you will not answer what you would do if your daughter did you obey you, that is rather telling. I thank the God's I did not grow up with a mother like you, but that I have a mother who love me and accept me for who I am and respect me as an adult. I would ask you if you are one of those parents who would disown and reject a adult child who do no longer obey you, but I would probably not get an answer I assume it looks better for you to say no comment than to answer the question. Greetings, The only thing it proves is my unwillingness to entertain your dialogue. Or are you unable to see that i have responded to the questions others have presented? Your attempt to goad me has left me bored and my time online isn't devoted to such infantile pursuits. It isn't that i cannot answer but i see no reason to answer you. It's the freedom of choice being exercised. C'est la vie. Namaste, ~porcelaine

juliaoceania -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 2:11:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nephandi Greetings quote: It was never a matter of suggesting one thing is bad per se. But the greater question of whether she could live with the ramifications of the decision of if she was better suited paired with a gentleman with more common denominators in place. That doesn't imply the latter is more but merely on the same page so to speak. Do you not think a 20 year old should be able to decide for herself what she can live with and accept responsibility for the ramifications of those decisions? Is not the job of a parent to raise a child to be responsible adults who can stand by their own decisions, not someone who need their parents to decide what is best for them as adults? I wish you well From my view, I did not raise my son to "obey" me. The role of a parent is to raise self sufficient children capable of running their own lives. If an adult never learns those skills, then that means their parents failed them. No adult gets through life without making a few mistakes along the way, it kinda goes with that thing we call "living".

porcelaine -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 2:18:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania I absolutely agree that we all should have our own personal preferences. Is it really truly necessary to justify our preferences by listing a bunch of ignorant stereotypes? I find no trouble with people having a size preference, but those who start train wreck threads about their "preference" with "I don't date unhealthy fat slobs" aren't stating a preference, they are listing stereotypes. Not all fat people are unhealthy, and many of them aren't slobs. Nor am i suggesting that one should demean another and i recently discussed this on another thread. One is just as bad as the other and i am not speaking ill of Asian men in any way. Nor did i articulate any stereotypes but noted that the ideas presented were akin to the things i've heard from other persons. And with all due respect, i'm certain there are aspects of your parenting that i would find ill suited for my lifestyle much like you could say the same. This doesn't negate that the behaviors are appropriate for you and yours. There are reasons why things are as such and i don't need to explain them to strangers nor would i put that element of my private life on display. quote: Cloaking racism in flowery words doesn't work well for me, for even though it is presented in the form of flowery prose, it still stinks. You're welcome to your opinion. We needn't agree on the subject and have disagreed in the past on other issues. quote: Edited to add, thanks for the welcome back, and hopefully you aren't completely put off by my posts here, I am the first to admit I have ignorant stereotypes, that is the only way I can expunge myself of them is by admitting it to be true Why would i be put off by them? i mean no disrespect, but in all fairness with the exception of one or two people that i've developed a deep connection with, i take no personal offense in what is stated. It is impossible for you to speak of a situation that you're ignorant about. You're merely commenting based on the slivers i've shared. Had the comment hailed from someone that's intimately acquainted with me, knows my daughter and is aware of the life we lead, they would be taken into consideration. i simply don't seek or require that level of acceptance or approval from strangers. Going against the grain or falling outside of popular opinion is not a problem. However, in spite of this we have communicated enough for me to surmise that you are passionate but never intentionally inflammatory in what is said. :) Namaste, ~porcelaine

nephandi -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 2:19:16 PM)
Greetings quote: The only thing it proves is my unwillingness to entertain your dialogue. Or are you unable to see that i have responded to the questions others have presented? Your attempt to goad me has left me bored and my time online isn't devoted to such infantile pursuits. It isn't that i cannot answer but i see no reason to answer you. It's the freedom of choice being exercised. C'est la vie. Other people have asked you this question as well and you have not answered them either. You can hide behind the oh I do not need to answer you for you where mean to me facade and that is okey, for you do not need to answer me, since I am the problem, why don't you answer thishereboi, here is a quote from his post. quote: Actually I thought it was a valid question whether or not the poster has raised children. So what will you do when she walks in the door with an asian boyfriend? I wish you well.

nephandi -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 2:23:06 PM)
Greetings quote: From my view, I did not raise my son to "obey" me. The role of a parent is to raise self sufficient children capable of running their own lives. If an adult never learns those skills, then that means their parents failed them. No adult gets through life without making a few mistakes along the way, it kinda goes with that thing we call "living". I agree 100 percent. I do not think I can add much to this other than well said. I wish you well.

juliaoceania -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 2:35:45 PM)
quote: Why would i be put off by them? i mean no disrespect, but in all fairness with the exception of one or two people that i've developed a deep connection with, i take no personal offense in what is stated. It is impossible for you to speak of a situation that you're ignorant about. You're merely commenting based on the slivers i've shared. Had the comment hailed from someone that's intimately acquainted with me, knows my daughter and is aware of the life we lead, they would be taken into consideration. i simply don't seek or require that level of acceptance or approval from strangers. Going against the grain or falling outside of popular opinion is not a problem. However, in spite of this we have communicated enough for me to surmise that you are passionate but never intentionally inflammatory in what is said. :) I am passionate about this subject. I devoted years of study to it, so I suppose it must be something that deeply concerns me. Most people who harbor bigoted opinions based upon little information are unaware that the stereotypes they buy into are in fact racist. You have made comments on this thread about preferences, and not even your own preferences, but that of your adult daughter. You have opinions about whom she brings home, not based on the facts of the individual she may desire, but upon the ideas you may hold about that person based upon his heritage. If this is not the very definition of bigotry and prejudice, I do not know what is. Human beings are prone to distrust that which they do not understand, and fear it. We also tend to lump things into categories (psychologists call these categories "schemas""). We are also trained to see patterns, even when they do not necessarily exist (think of Jesus's face on a grilled cheese sandwich). Human beings are probably programmed to think in ways that lead to racism. We are also prone to have sex when we probably shouldn't, steal what we want, and be stingy too... so being prone to something doesn't make it right. Now you might not like "political correctness", but what I am talking about isn't about political correctness, for if it were I would never have said your points were racist.... not politically correct to tell someone they are displaying racism. Am I racist? I try very hard not to be, and even knowing all I do about the subject of racism, its roots, and how it spreads I still sometimes have racist thoughts. I think the difference between us is that I challenge those thoughts, and you seemingly are going to embrace them as your personal truth.

porcelaine -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 3:01:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania You have made comments on this thread about preferences, and not even your own preferences, but that of your adult daughter. You have opinions about whom she brings home, not based on the facts of the individual she may desire, but upon the ideas you may hold about that person based upon his heritage. If this is not the very definition of bigotry and prejudice, I do not know what is. But this is where we differ Julia and that's a wonderful thing about being an individual. You may think me bigoted or whatever moniker you elect to affix. The realities of my opinions have no true bearing on your life in any measure save this thread. i bear no responsibility for your livelihood nor have i made a commitment to you in any fashion aside from a heartfelt wish for your happiness, which i've never been shy about stating. You have a problem because the individual is Asian. Would the idea go down if money were involved? Or background? Or would that upset your sensibilities as well? i'm not suggesting that the subject is comfortable for everyone. But i'm well aware that people exercise all measure of criteria when choosing a partner and as much as we'd prefer to think some things are never taken into consideration that isn't always the case. quote: Am I racist? I try very hard not to be, and even knowing all I do about the subject of racism, its roots, and how it spreads I still sometimes have racist thoughts. I think the difference between us is that I challenge those thoughts, and you seemingly are going to embrace them as your personal truth. i think it's very clear that our dispositions are such that individuality is a hallmark of our person. i wouldn't want you to think or feel the way i do nor would i do the same. We've walked different paths and it's impossible for us to meet at an identical point. At best we can agree to disagree and recognize that there are unknowns that will always remain as such. But at the end of the day you don't know me. And as much i value your posts (which have been missed) i don't expect your remarks to ring true (for me) because you're shooting in the dark. Therefore, taking offense would be very unbecoming and in poor taste. If clarification isn't possible i choose to go by what i've experienced with the individual. i don't readily assume the worse. i live my life with positive expectancy and because of this i saw none where you're concerned. So yes, we're on opposing ends of the spectrum. i wouldn't think you a bigot. What i'd see is a mother that made decisions that i may not understand, but being a parent and having faced my own challenges i'd trust you acted in the child's best interest. i could never take the leaps that i've observed because my personal experiences tell me things are rarely black and white. There's usually a bit of gray involved. And before i'd ever get to the point of calling you racist, my self-respect would stop me. i could not in good conscious make an allegation of that nature to an individual i do not know. my constitution doesn't permit it. Under no circumstances could i articulate this without concrete evidence that i've personally experienced to validate the claim. i'm not in the habit of making those assessments via keystroke. The possibility of error is too great and to do so is in contradiction to spirit i embody in these venues. It's far too negative for my tastes. Namaste, ~porcelaine

juliaoceania -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 3:19:44 PM)
quote: You have a problem because the individual is Asian. Would the idea go down if money were involved? Or background? Or would that upset your sensibilities as well? i'm not suggesting that the subject is comfortable for everyone. But i'm well aware that people exercise all measure of criteria when choosing a partner and as much as we'd prefer to think some things are never taken into consideration that isn't always the case. I would say that if you had preconceived notions about any individual without meeting this person prior to making a judgment you would be a prejudiced person. I could cut and paste the definition of the word "prejudiced", but I won't insult your intelligence, because I know you understand the meaning. And again, I never said that there was any limit to having any criteria one wants for picking their own mates, but when a person projects those criteria on to their children based upon ethnic background, it is a racist thing to so.... call it whatever you like. quote: i don't readily assume the worse. i live my life with positive expectancy If this were true you would not make judgments about people you do not even know as being unsuitable for your daughter. quote: So yes, we're on opposing ends of the spectrum. i wouldn't think you a bigot. What i'd see is a mother that made decisions that i may not understand, but being a parent and having faced my own challenges i'd trust you acted in the child's best interest. i could never take the leaps that i've observed because my personal experiences tell me things are rarely black and white. There's usually a bit of gray involved. If we were talking about wee ones, I am not for mommy judging or second guessing how people socialize their children. Once those kids are adults I tend to look at it a bit differently, especially in regard to "doing what is in the best interest of the child"... they aren't kids once they are adults. Parents should butt out unless asked, especially in regard to whom their adult kids want to socialize with. Meddlesome parents are annoying, and rarely do they have truly altruistic motivations. quote: And before i'd ever get to the point of calling you racist, my self-respect would stop me. i could not in good conscious make an allegation of that nature to an individual i do not know. my constitution doesn't permit it. Under no circumstances could i articulate this without concrete evidence that i've personally experienced to validate the claim. i'm not in the habit of making those assessments via keystroke. The possibility of error is too great and to do so is in contradiction to spirit i embody in these venues. It's far too negative for my tastes. I am just not politically correct. I have never met a person that wasn't on some level bigoted, prejudiced, or at least a little bit racist.... talk to people and sooner or later they say some stereotypical bigoted bullshit... and if you want to think you are better than everyone else I have ever met, fine by me, but there have been enough statements on this thread from you to confirm my "personal truth". Human beings are neither all light or all dark, and even the best of us have some darkness lurking somewhere, we are only human after all. I am honest enough to admit that not all of my thoughts have been the purest when it comes to how I think of other groups of people. It is in admitting it that it happens less and less all of the time.

porcelaine -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 3:55:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania If this were true you would not make judgments about people you do not even know as being unsuitable for your daughter. If my self opinion was completely tied to what other people felt about my person i'd be sincerely confused. It is impossible to please everyone and dissidence doesn't negate what's true for me. The day i start second guessing myself based on what is written on a screen is the moment i should sincerely log off. quote: Once those kids are adults I tend to look at it a bit differently, especially in regard to "doing what is in the best interest of the child"... they aren't kids once they are adults. Parents should butt out unless asked, especially in regard to whom their adult kids want to socialize with. Meddlesome parents are annoying, and rarely do they have truly altruistic motivations. Isn't that a wee bit grandiose to suggest what every child wants of its parent? Mine is sitting beside me shaking her head in disbelief how she's become the topic of discussion on a board she doesn't frequent from people she has no familiarity with save one or two. She finds it cloyingly comical that strangers take an interest in children that don't belong to them on a sex site. Perhaps we've run out of things to discuss. Namaste, ~porcelaine

juliaoceania -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 4:20:50 PM)
quote: If my self opinion was completely tied to what other people felt about my person i'd be sincerely confused. It is impossible to please everyone and dissidence doesn't negate what's true for me. The day i start second guessing myself based on what is written on a screen is the moment i should sincerely log off. Again, we differ. I question my beliefs and prejudices constantly, not because other people, but because not to do so would mean I would stagnate in my personal growth. I have also found that building my own personal truths based upon not enough information tends to lead me to ideas that are not supportable when confronted with facts. quote: Isn't that a wee bit grandiose to suggest what every child wants of its parent? I suppose if that was the extent of my commentary on the subject it would indeed be "grandiose", but considering I also said that parents shouldn't butt in unasked it isn't as grandiose as you would paint with the way you quoted me. quote: Mine is sitting beside me shaking her head in disbelief how she's become the topic of discussion on a board she doesn't frequent from people she has no familiarity with save one or two. She isn't the topic of my conversation, your statement that you would forbid an adult from bringing home a young man for the sin of being Asian was the topic of my conversation in regards to your daughter. The topic for me is that "pre" judging someone on the basis of ethnicity is bigoted and somewhat racist, especially when it isn't a matter of "personal" preference, but even extends to the preferences of those around you (it could be your neighbor, niece, or best friend, it just happens to be your daughter). quote: She finds it cloyingly comical that strangers take an interest in children that don't belong to them on a sex site. Perhaps we've run out of things to discuss. I am glad she finds it amusing. But this conversation isn't about her, because I am not interested in her at all. I am more interested in, as an anthropologist, that there are still people in this country that may not mind their kids going to school with people of other backgrounds, or eating in the same restaurant, but they sure as hell wouldn't want their kids to marry or have grandkids with people with darker skin... it is what it is. quote: A prejudice is a prejudgment, an assumption made about someone or something before having adequate knowledge to be able to do so with guaranteed accuracy. The word prejudice is most commonly used to refer to preconceived judgments toward a people or a person because of race, social class, gender, ethnicity, homelessness, age, disability, obesity, religion, sexual orientation or other personal characteristics. It also means beliefs without knowledge of the facts[1] and may include "any unreasonable attitude that is unusually resistant to rational influence."[2] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prejudice

nephandi -> RE: will a sub/slave girl choose Asian master/dom? (4/22/2011 4:22:55 PM)
Greetings quote: You have a problem because the individual is Asian. Would the idea go down if money were involved? Or background? Or would that upset your sensibilities as well? i'm not suggesting that the subject is comfortable for everyone. But i'm well aware that people exercise all measure of criteria when choosing a partner and as much as we'd prefer to think some things are never taken into consideration that isn't always the case. Yes I would see it as just as wrong to be prejudiced against people for their finances, their family background, their weight, their religion and so on. Yes as Julia is saying we are all prejudiced in some way or another, it is human nature to be prejudiced, however some of us fight this and try to judge people on what they say and what they do rather than other factors, while others, like you, glorify prejudice and hail it as your personal truth. quote: Isn't that a wee bit grandiose to suggest what every child wants of its parent? Mine is sitting beside me shaking her head in disbelief how she's become the topic of discussion on a board she doesn't frequent from people she has no familiarity with save one or two. She finds it cloyingly comical that strangers take an interest in children that don't belong to them on a sex site. Perhaps we've run out of things to discuss. I am seriously disturbed by this paragraph. First of all your 20 year old daughter is not a child, also children do not belong to their parents, your daughter is not your property, she is an adult human being not a pet and you seam to have a difficulty in understanding that as you rant about your "child" being yours and you will do with her as you wish. Now the second part is this, off course many young adults might want their parents to make decisions for them, most want independence but not all, however do you really think it is healthy for you to control your adult daughter? One thing is what she might or might not want, but what happens the day she have to make a decision for herself and you are not there? if she have never had to make her own choices and face the consequences of those choices how are she going to function as an adult when she do not have her handlers there to guide her? I wish you well.

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