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What are your rules - 4/15/2011 10:27:19 PM

Rokobilli

Posts: 18
Joined: 3/19/2011
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Hi again I'm looking to find some examples of what good rule setting would be between a Dom and sub. It does not have to be sexual just what is it that you as a Master or Dom consider to be good rules.

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RE: What are your rules - 4/15/2011 10:40:47 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

Whatever works in YOUR relationship.

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CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
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RE: What are your rules - 4/15/2011 11:30:22 PM

coookie

Posts: 541
Joined: 10/25/2010
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I have to obey. Basically that is the only rule that I have

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RE: What are your rules - 4/16/2011 1:08:03 AM

LadyNTrainer

Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
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Honesty, personal responsibility, mutual transparency and good communication skills are the primary requirements in my poly D/s relationship.

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RE: What are your rules - 4/16/2011 4:07:13 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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Slave Rule # 11: Never ever even consider teasing a sadist.

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I give good thread.

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RE: What are your rules - 4/16/2011 5:05:41 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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obey, be pleasing, serve

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RE: What are your rules - 4/16/2011 5:06:53 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Slave Rule # 11: Never ever even consider teasing a sadist.

Unless you're a masochist with a death wish...

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There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

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RE: What are your rules - 4/16/2011 5:57:42 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
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Serve, please, obey, no cussing at me, show respect, drink anything I put in your mouth...and, oh yeah, shut the fuck up and open wide, beeeeeooooooottttccccchhhh!

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"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

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RE: What are your rules - 4/16/2011 6:32:18 AM

phoenixmoonn13

Posts: 398
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never swear at the pain when hes pinching your nipples.

but really its to obay what one wants is different to another

(in reply to Kana)

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RE: What are your rules - 4/16/2011 10:16:40 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
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OK, since you specified "D/s" I'm going to skip the "rules for having a healthy relationship" and talk about only the D/s component of it. For us, it really is just as simple as "Obey until you don't want to anymore." That seems to cover everything. The "obey" part covers her side of the commitment and the "until she doesn't want to" covers my side.

For us, "obedience" is taken in the largest possible context... I expect her to obey the letter, spirit, and in fact get in the boat and row for any direction I set. Really I want so much more than obedience. I want support not tacit compliance.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Rokobilli)

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RE: What are your rules - 4/16/2011 10:34:11 AM

Palliata

Posts: 371
Joined: 8/9/2010
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Rules would tend to be things that YOU want to exist in your household. Why do our rules matter? The things that make me happy may not be in any way similar to the ones that make you happy, and even if they are you should be fully aware of what makes you happy ahead of time.

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I speak not of The Way, but only My Way. Think it not an indictment of Your Way.

I'm male. I know it sounds female. Work with me.

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RE: What are your rules - 4/16/2011 10:38:38 AM

Aylee

Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
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Variously stolen from different posters through the years:

You are first and foremost a human being.

Obedience is not negotiable. If there is a problem, you will state the problem in a clear and respectful manner. I will address the problem and alter the instructions, as I deem necessary. You will then be expected to perform the duty as instructed.

Tell me what is going on with you because I am not a mind reader.

Don't put yourself down, do believe in yourself and accept my compliments - try to see yourself through my eyes because I see you as someone worth owning.

Be respectful at all times, period. I will listen to and value opinions and even playfulness, but respect is required.

Never promise what you can't deliver. Don't agree to what you do not understand. It is okay to ask for clarification.

Under no circumstances are you ever to obey a command of mine, which in your considered opinion is likely to result in significant/lasting harm to yourself, the relationship, or myself.

Put another way.... "If I'm being an idiot, please don't enable me"

A dominant is first and foremost a person, a regular human being like anyone else. I may be "in charge", but I still have emotions, fears, moods, hopes, worries and desires in and outside the realm of BDSM. Do not let your need be to be submissive cloud how you perceive me as a person.

A boundary is a boundary.

Use courtesy and civility in conversation with me because I most certainly will with you and I will expect the same.

Have patience. I am just as new to you as you are to me. You will expect it from me as we build and I have every right to expect it from you.

Communicate. I am not a mind reader and I will never make the assumption you are. I like to converse. When the subject is important, I like to converse even more.

You will treat (an) other dominant(s) with courtesy, civility, and respect, unless they behave in a manner non-deserving of your required behavior. Even then, you are expected to look to me first to handle the problem.

If there is a reason (medical, emotional) that certain play has to be avoided; you are to tell me right away.

Do not lie.

You may respectfully request to speak freely without fear of punishment at any time, and may voice your objection to a punishment before it is given.

Orders and requests must be carried out swiftly/ASAP and without complaint or any kind of disrespectful behavior.

Rules and limits will be re-evaluated periodically, or upon request.

All rule or order violations must be reported as soon as possible.

When you are upset or stressed, you must talk/tell me about it.

You must think about the reasons for your thoughts and feelings.

_____________________________

Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

(in reply to Palliata)

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RE: What are your rules - 4/16/2011 10:44:38 AM

ForeverFire

Posts: 22
Joined: 4/9/2011
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Be honest. This is O/our first one, beyond any others.

Obey. Do not question, unless it is to clarify the order.

Communicate. In more than one syllable.

Be respectful. Always.

Those are the ones that are set in stone.

(in reply to Aylee)

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RE: What are your rules - 4/16/2011 12:39:39 PM

Hisprettybaby

Posts: 781
Joined: 4/13/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer

Honesty, personal responsibility, mutual transparency and good communication skills are the primary requirements in my poly D/s relationship.

This. ^^^^^^

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)

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RE: What are your rules - 4/16/2011 4:37:44 PM

aromanholiday

Posts: 307
Joined: 4/12/2011
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"Don't be a jailhouse lawyer."

I've changed since those days. I really have!

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RE: What are your rules - 4/17/2011 8:55:33 AM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Slave Rule # 11: Never ever even consider teasing a sadist.

Unless you're a masochist with a death wish...

Bingo lol

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.

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RE: What are your rules - 4/17/2011 9:13:48 AM

NorthernGent

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rokobilli

Hi again I'm looking to find some examples of what good rule setting would be between a Dom and sub. It does not have to be sexual just what is it that you as a Master or Dom consider to be good rules.

Start with the principles of what it is you want from a relationship; and rules should flow these principles.

I'm meticulous in ensuring the principles of what I expect from a woman are on offer: warmth, humour, kindness, calm, honest, open, curious, does not engage in pointless gossip, is focused on living well. There are quite a few others, but no need to go on.

I have fewer rules, although the ones I have are extremely important to me. As examples, I have rules around her dress, eating in restaurants and how she carries herself in public. The public one should be second nature based on the type of woman I look for. The dress and restaurant are specific to me, so that takes a spot of communication to put in place. I have rules around living well, too. One of my rules on public behaviour is that no matter what someone says to her, she takes the moral high ground and maintains a courteous disposition at all times; no bickering with anyone, ever.

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Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

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RE: What are your rules - 4/17/2011 1:33:45 PM

HannahLynHeather

Posts: 2950
Joined: 4/4/2011
From: where it's at
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there is only 1 rule i impose: do what you are told. that covers all situations pretty well.

hannah lynn

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fuck a duck ~w. disney

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i hope you enjoyed the post, and as always my friends....have a nice day

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RE: What are your rules - 4/17/2011 1:46:47 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
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1. Obey
2. See Rule #1

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The Red

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RE: What are your rules - 4/17/2011 1:51:06 PM

Dragonswhore

Posts: 7
Joined: 7/22/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

1. Obey
2. See Rule #1

Sounds an awful lot like Big Daddy's rules :)

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Post #: 20