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RE: Vanilla Sex...is it still possible? - 5/10/2006 9:39:42 AM

valeca

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I'm assuming you mean 'sex' in the sense of intercourse.

If you break sex down to its most basic elements, the mechanics, then, yes, vanilla sex is something we all do--lick, touch, blow, suck, stroke, insert, etc.

quote:

I have found that whenever I've said never in my life I have always had the opportunity down the road to have to eat that word....lol. I've learned not to use that word casually anymore.

I think it would put a great deal of pressure on a partner to expect them to always be "ON". Not to mention, it would be sad to deprive them or myself of all of those sleepy, middle of the night encounters, the sweet morning wake my man up in a good mood blow jobs and the times when I can seduce him, climb on top and expect nothing more from him than for him to lay there and enjoy the experience (as I have found that men really like to do that once in while).

In what I consider to be a long term relationship, a few years into it I find that every single encounter does not necessarily have to be fireworks and screaming in agony....sometimes it is just two people who know each other so well they can just take pleasure in the intimacy of the moment and the cumulative experience of having learned each others bodies as well as their own.

Erin, elequently spoken, as usual.

As yummy as kink is (slurp), a steady diet of any one thing can become tedious. I see it in these terms. BDSM is like steak and lobster.. Awesome and delicious, but if that's all you'll ever allow yourself, much of the appeal is lost over time.
Vanilla may not be the most exciting flavour, but it is a flavour, nonetheless.

I prefer variety.

I understand some might feel differently if they don't have the 'steak and lobster' available to them on a 24/7 basis, and had to settle for 'mayo on white bread' more often than not. I'd probably feel the "no 'nilla, ever!" thing in that case, too.

Damn, now I'm hungry. Off to make lunch.

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(in reply to TigerLily23)

Post #: 21

RE: Vanilla Sex...is it still possible? - 5/10/2006 9:41:01 AM

eruditegirl1

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From: Nevada
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I am so glad you posted this question....being new and having an inquisitive nature....it was a question I wondered about as well....I figured it just depended on the two people in the relationship....and it was a question I posed to the Dom....kind of like vanilla with a twist.....

(in reply to sweetbbwsub31)

Post #: 22

RE: Vanilla Sex...is it still possible? - 5/10/2006 9:46:07 AM

SweetEscravo

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Why not? I honestly once found myself bored with bdsm and just in the mood for some good old fashioned vanilla sex. Who says you can't go back and forth sometimes?

(in reply to Littlepita)

Post #: 23

RE: Vanilla Sex...is it still possible? - 5/10/2006 10:00:22 AM

MySweetSubmssive

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Why say no to one form of pleasure (vanilla) when you have found another? I want them all!

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RE: Vanilla Sex...is it still possible? - 5/10/2006 10:35:48 AM

bandit25

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I agree...why not have them all if you can?

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RE: Vanilla Sex...is it still possible? - 5/10/2006 10:36:52 AM

spankmepink11

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I'd have to agree with those who replied that yes indeed vanilla sex is possible when in a BDSM relationship.
While i may choose to date exclusively within the BDSM realm. I would sure hope that any such relationship would not exclude those middle of the night sleepy interludes...or a lunch time quickie...etc etc...
As always it depends on how one defines "vanilla sex" if defined as straight up missionary sex...no bells no whistles...then i wouldn't want it either. However...if a BDSM couple is having missionary sex....but the D/s
or M/s dynamic is in place as far as their frame of mind and verbal interaction...then...is it still vanilla sex?.

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)

Post #: 26

RE: Vanilla Sex...is it still possible? - 5/10/2006 10:41:44 AM

kittensmailbox

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i for one, never want to go back to vanilla sex....

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Post #: 27

RE: Vanilla Sex...is it still possible? - 5/10/2006 12:26:00 PM

SirKenin

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From: Barrie, ON Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TigerLily23

Greetings A/all...I have a question for the experienced and inexperienced alike...Once one is Awakened to this wonderful world of BDSM, is it still possible to have Vanilla Sex?

I can honestly say from My own experience that it is. I am wondering if it depends on who it is to what degree they might enjoy it?

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Post #: 28

RE: Vanilla Sex...is it still possible? - 5/10/2006 1:05:07 PM

proudsub

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I don't think i could enjoy straight vanilla sex much anymore and i know i have trouble reaching orgasm without some element of pain. But i do enjoy some tenderness and loving along with the kink.

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Post #: 29

RE: Vanilla Sex...is it still possible? - 5/10/2006 1:07:48 PM

MsMacComb

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TigerLily23

Greetings A/all...I have a question for the experienced and inexperienced alike...Once one is Awakened to this wonderful world of BDSM, is it still possible to have Vanilla Sex?

With all due respect, why would one even want to?

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RE: Vanilla Sex...is it still possible? - 5/10/2006 1:15:31 PM

Dustyn

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Gotta agree with the person that asked exactly what qualifies as being "vanilla sex"... personally, I can bang just to bang and beat just to beat, or mix and match as needed... just depends on the person I'm with at the time and both of our mindsets...

- Dustyn

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RE: Vanilla Sex...is it still possible? - 5/10/2006 1:16:37 PM

Chaingang

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Erin almost always says the right thing! You've nailed it again: services performed even before they are commanded. What could be better than anticipating your man's needs and wants?

I hope your recovery continues apace.

....

Which is better? Mr Puffy or Peanut Butter Jelly Time?

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Post #: 32

RE: Vanilla Sex...is it still possible? - 5/10/2006 1:23:22 PM

Mercnbeth

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quote:

However...if a BDSM couple is having missionary sex....but the D/s or M/s dynamic is in place as far as their frame of mind and verbal interaction...then...is it still vanilla sex?.

spankme,
You have hit upon the reason for my negative answer. There, in your post, is the insight and why the answer for us is no, and the possibility impossible. The mindset defines the "flavor" and, with us, it's not vanilla. Fortunately we both have a mindset that considers 24/7 M/s, 24/7 foreplay. The physical acts, regardless of their form or appearance, are just the outward expression.

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 33

RE: Vanilla Sex...is it still possible? - 5/10/2006 1:25:04 PM

merrymasochist

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Joined: 9/2/2004
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I think I could but I wouldn't want to for any long term. I like what I like and to try and revert back to strictly vanilla just wouldn't work for me. One, it would be untrue to who and what I am and what I love and enjoy. Two, it would be an unfair to the vanilla partner because eventually I would either subtley seek to change them into what I like or I would go looking outside to get what I like. And three, long term vanilla just doesn't hold any charm for me. It would be like sitting down to a vast buffet and only eating one item.

Just my thoughts on the subject. Interesting question. Thank you.

Sincerely,
merry

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Post #: 34

RE: Vanilla Sex...is it still possible? - 5/10/2006 2:14:40 PM

slaverosebeauty

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From: Cali
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TigerLily23

Greetings A/all...I have a question for the experienced and inexperienced alike...Once one is Awakened to this wonderful world of BDSM, is it still possible to have Vanilla Sex?

Of course. Making love is still fun, their is just more exploring and taking your time. At times its nice to be romantic and put this stuff upon the shelf so to speak. You can always just have sex with a vanilla and see what happens, thats an interesting expereince after this side has awakened.

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RE: Vanilla Sex...is it still possible? - 5/10/2006 4:38:33 PM

allspicey

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Joined: 4/30/2006
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Oh my gawd, lilsubjess, i'm so much the same way. Even sex with another submissive is just not appealing. i need the power dynamic at least or forget it. And the same...someone will say, isn't he yummy? And i think, yes, in an aesthetic sort of way. lol...It IS annoying but that's the way i'm wired and always have been.

spicey

(in reply to meatcleaver)

Post #: 36

RE: Vanilla Sex...is it still possible? - 5/10/2006 6:34:22 PM

SweetSarijane

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Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
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Hmmm........I want it all. I'm more inclined to kinky, but sweet loving definitely has it's place for me. Each has their own interpretation of what constitutes vanilla to them. To me, if the dynamic is in place between the ones engaging, then whether it's slow, sweet and loving or hard, pounding, pain including use, doesn't make it either vanilla or kinky, it just makes it what the people involved want at that time and enjoy. Turning to WIITWD doesn't mean you can never have slow, sweet, gentle loving and cuddling anymore. Still enjoying those moments doesn't make you any less who you are. It's about what those involved want, what works for them.

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Post #: 37

RE: Vanilla Sex...is it still possible? - 5/10/2006 6:38:38 PM

cuddleheart50

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I want both, but this side is alot more fun, exciting and stimulating.

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Post #: 38

RE: Vanilla Sex...is it still possible? - 5/10/2006 7:52:12 PM

akisha

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Joined: 6/25/2005
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Sometimes the soft slow sensual sex is a nice change. Getting pinched, spanked, bit, tied up etc etc can get tiresome too at times.

There is nothing like waking up with cuddles, kisses and slow soft sex. Especially after a heavy session the night before.

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Post #: 39

RE: Vanilla Sex...is it still possible? - 5/10/2006 8:25:37 PM

NakedOnMyChain

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From: Indiana
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TigerLily23

Greetings A/all...I have a question for the experienced and inexperienced alike...Once one is Awakened to this wonderful world of BDSM, is it still possible to have Vanilla Sex?

Yep. It is for me anyway.

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"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
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(in reply to TigerLily23)

Post #: 40

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