RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results

RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (Full Version)

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MrMister -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/10/2006 9:06:16 PM)
Whatever happened to just being yourself? Nothing at all suffices for being sincere and genuine about who you are and what you are seeking.

Takethiswaltz -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/10/2006 9:06:27 PM)
Fabulous post. Your words tell why i have basically stopped reading profiles (except if someone on the message boards sounds smart and interesting) Oh, and don't forget that ever-popular term of endearment "hun" [;)]

beneathfeet -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/10/2006 9:13:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ArchangelMichael Maybe we need a "rate my profile" function. A profile rating function! As a programmer, i am always astounded by what users of software come up with, this is an excellent idea, and one i sincerely hope is given consideration. The latest success stories on the web all concern interactive content, not too mention that i might have an ulterior motive here, in that i also would welcome any and all constructive criticism that would help to build a better, and more appealing profile. At the very least i will be reconsidering how to formulate a presentation based upon all of the excellent advice in this thread. Thank you allspicey for starting a most readable and enjoyable thread.

theprofitprinces -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/10/2006 9:23:50 PM)
ha on aff there are more men than women so we females get bombarded with emails. in the chatrooms they wont' leave you the hell alone!!!

Arpig -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/10/2006 9:55:34 PM)
Actually, my profile achieves exactly what it is supposed to. It tells a little about me and my interests.....not all of us are here to get laid you know.

juliaoceania -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/10/2006 10:08:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arpig Actually, my profile achieves exactly what it is supposed to. It tells a little about me and my interests.....not all of us are here to get laid you know. LOL... I think she was talking to the ones that wanna get a little.. or a lot as the case may be! Made me laugh

TNstepsout -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/10/2006 10:18:03 PM)
Great list. Many of the things you mentioned are among my pet peeves. Another thing I'd like to mention is the choice of photo. This is an area that could probably use at least seven DON'T of it's own. 1. DON'T choose a photo that shows off one of your most unsightly body parts. If you have a skinny chest, beer belly or chicken legs, don't put that in your profile pic.Chooses instead one of your best features to show off. (surprisingly many are confused by this concept) 2. DON'T use a pic of yourself with your EX-wife/GF etc... with face blacked out. And for heavens sake, NEVER use a family portrait with all of their faces blocked out. It's also advisable not to use a pic of you in your wedding tuxedo. (yes, I have seen ALL of these things done) 3. DON'T try to look all glary and "Domly" just look normal. Really sinister pics just look kinda silly like you're trying to be Darth Vadar or something. 4. DON'T use your mugshot. OK, I'm exaggerating here, but if the pic looks like a mugshot, if you look like an escaped mental patient or like you slept on a park bench, please don't use it. 5. DON'T use pics that are so dark and fuzzy that you can't even be recognized. Camera phones and cams take pretty bad pics. OK in a pinch, but you should upgrade as soon as possible. 6. DON'T use a pic from your days as a 21 year old male model when your profile clearly states you are 45. It just looks ridiculous. 7. DON'T use a pic with your mouth hanging open. That just looks stupid. OK, now some DO's 1. DO use a pic that shows you engaged in an activity you enjoy. Or at least try to have one in your profile. I love seeing pics of men singing or playing and instrument, hiking, with their bike, car etc.... Just anything that gives someone an idea of what your daily life is all about and what inspires you. 2. DO look generally neat and well groomed in your pic. This is, after all, your first impression. 3. DO use a pic that looks natural. If you don't usually wear a suit, don't use a pic of you in one. You will generally look a little stiff and uncomfortable. Also using one in your usual attire will give a better idea of your regular lifestyle and attract someone who is more suited to fit into your lifestyle. One other general item is DON'T use a nic that is a body part (male or female) a bodily function or something you like to do, want done to you or want to do to others. Oh yeah, a BIG DON'T for me is never EVER tell me what other people say about you, as in "people say I'm funny", "others say I'm fun to be around", "my friends say I'm a great guy" etc... Why are you telling me what other people think about you? Don't you know who you are?

Chaingang -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/10/2006 10:46:55 PM)
Bitches abound. I would say your post could apply to everyone, but your foundational statement is in error. In my view there are plenty of fish on both sides of the equation, if fish is all you want. The minute quality or any other overriding factor is at issue, the numbers of available matches dwindles considerably. Earlier today someone (and I think it was actually FirmhandKY) said that the actual percentage of Doms available was probably only 10% of those claiming Dom status. I would say that same thing is approx. true of submissives - many claim it, few fit the description as I see it. But there is still plenty of people to go around for all kinds of scenarios. But the idea that men must somehow kowtow to women because there are so many of us and so few of you is a laugh. I mean, if you consider someone like myself to be the functional equivalent of a HNG you might be right; but if HNGs have nothing in common with someone like myself then you are so wrong it's not even funny.

allspicey -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/10/2006 11:00:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Chaingang But the idea that men must somehow kowtow to women because there are so many of us and so few of you is a laugh. The original post isn't actually about right or wrong or how it should be or even my own perceptions of the male/female/dom/sub/top/bottom/switch/Master/slave relationship creating dynamic. It also isn't about the number of men in the world versus the number of women. I stated, and still stand by, that there are more men interested in pursuing some kind of BDSM activity at some level than there are women. Any profile site will tell you that the number of male profiles far outweigh the number of female ones. On the subject in real life, many clubs have policies against single men entering because the ratios get so out of kilter and the women get harassed. They try to keep the numbers balanced by only allowing in a small proportion of men without partners. I am talking serious BDSM clubs now, not the more public type venues which are more interested in the money they are making. This post is actually a bit of thought given to all those men out there that I chat with who say...why does no one ever respond to my profile? What am I doing wrong if I want to attract their attention? Now no one is saying you have to pursue anyone. No one is saying you should even want to! However, most people put up profiles in the hope that they will attract the interest of someone. I simply posted those things about profiles that make me not interested in contacting the owners, even should the owners email me. For those that want to use the medium effectively, it might be of some help. For those that are happy with what they are doing, it probably won't be. Some people will agree with the post, some will disagree. Hopefully it is of value to a certain group of people which is why it was posted in the first place [:D]

GeorgiaBelle -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/10/2006 11:06:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TNstepsout Great list. Many of the things you mentioned are among my pet peeves. Another thing I'd like to mention is the choice of photo. This is an area that could probably use at least seven DON'T of it's own. 1. DON'T choose a photo that shows off one of your most unsightly body parts. If you have a skinny chest, beer belly or chicken legs, don't put that in your profile pic.Chooses instead one of your best features to show off. (surprisingly many are confused by this concept) 2. DON'T use a pic of yourself with your EX-wife/GF etc... with face blacked out. And for heavens sake, NEVER use a family portrait with all of their faces blocked out. It's also advisable not to use a pic of you in your wedding tuxedo. (yes, I have seen ALL of these things done) 3. DON'T try to look all glary and "Domly" just look normal. Really sinister pics just look kinda silly like you're trying to be Darth Vadar or something. 4. DON'T use your mugshot. OK, I'm exaggerating here, but if the pic looks like a mugshot, if you look like an escaped mental patient or like you slept on a park bench, please don't use it. 5. DON'T use pics that are so dark and fuzzy that you can't even be recognized. Camera phones and cams take pretty bad pics. OK in a pinch, but you should upgrade as soon as possible. 6. DON'T use a pic from your days as a 21 year old male model when your profile clearly states you are 45. It just looks ridiculous. 7. DON'T use a pic with your mouth hanging open. That just looks stupid. OK, now some DO's 1. DO use a pic that shows you engaged in an activity you enjoy. Or at least try to have one in your profile. I love seeing pics of men singing or playing and instrument, hiking, with their bike, car etc.... Just anything that gives someone an idea of what your daily life is all about and what inspires you. 2. DO look generally neat and well groomed in your pic. This is, after all, your first impression. 3. DO use a pic that looks natural. If you don't usually wear a suit, don't use a pic of you in one. You will generally look a little stiff and uncomfortable. Also using one in your usual attire will give a better idea of your regular lifestyle and attract someone who is more suited to fit into your lifestyle. One other general item is DON'T use a nic that is a body part (male or female) a bodily function or something you like to do, want done to you or want to do to others. Oh yeah, a BIG DON'T for me is never EVER tell me what other people say about you, as in "people say I'm funny", "others say I'm fun to be around", "my friends say I'm a great guy" etc... Why are you telling me what other people think about you? Don't you know who you are? Great points, but may I also add that I am tired of opening up emails and finding pictures of you doing something to your NAKED past slaves. Most of us get the gist of what goes on as we generally do those things. I don't need you to prove your domly-ness by exploiting your last partner. I also think if you are no longer in a relationship with the nude sub, how can I possibly expect to trust your judgement as a Master /Dom if you breach your last subs right to privacy like that?

losttreasure -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/10/2006 11:23:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GeorgiaBelle Great points, but may I also add that I am tired of opening up emails and finding pictures of you doing something to your NAKED past slaves. Most of us get the gist of what goes on as we generally do those things. I don't need you to prove your domly-ness by exploiting your last partner. I also think if you are no longer in a relationship with the nude sub, how can I possibly expect to trust your judgement as a Master /Dom if you breach your last subs right to privacy like that? Oh, outstanding point! And honestly... do you really need to tell me about all the slaves that you have trained and owned? I can understand your desire to assure me that you are experienced and qualified, but advertising and clueing me in to the fact that you haven't been able to hang on to a number of women, isn't very impressive.

ElectraGlide -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/10/2006 11:32:20 PM)
My profile is brief and to the point. A matter of fact I have not looked at it in awile, I had to look at it again to see what it said lol. I have changed it in the past and it seemed it reflected my current mood at that time, so I would look at it later and see whole harsh it sounded. Then of course I would change it again. I also had to reconsider where I stand in the lifestyle because I have been vanilla for a long time until recently. I did not want to over promote myself as Mr. Experienced. It is hard to explain yourself in a profile. I do not want to come off as a creep in my profile. I do not consider myself as a creep.

meatcleaver -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/11/2006 12:15:33 AM)
Meeting someone on a BDSM site doesn't cross my mind because I am sure the men outnumber the women and the last thing I want is a loyal sub fussing round me anyway. I want good intelligent conversation and trips out with a woman that wants to get down and dirty and you don't meet them on sites like this which is rather ironic. However, I have met many women on literature and art sites that are libertarian, into S&M and sexually submissive and quite game for a day or two of pure hedonism under the whip.

HarryVanWinkle -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/11/2006 12:37:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: allspicey 2. Cock pictures - "Yawn" What's that phrase? See one, seen em all? I still haven't figured out this love affair men have with their cocks. Do you really see that as your most attractive feature?? Maybe seeing one isn't seeing them all (I AM aware they come in different sizes and colours) but really, after the 20th or 30th picture, they do tend to start to blur. I could wallpaper my house with the number of cock pictures I've seen. But since a picture of a cock just doesn't really do anything for me, I think I'll leave it the way it is. I can explain this one to you. The reason that so many men send and post pictures of their penises is exactly the same as the reason why most other people send pictures of their faces: A desire to show off the parts of their anatomies where they keep their brains.

HarryVanWinkle -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/11/2006 12:44:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster I don't agree with this at all. There are THOUSANDS of women exploring BDSM. Probably MILLIONS. LAM, This may be true, but if you go to the homepage and select "Any" under gender, you'll get a sea of blue with a few red and pink lines. The funny thing is, whenever I go to Desert Dominion, I notice that while there are usually a few more men than there are women, it's nowhere near as unbalanced as any place I look online. I wonder if that's because the men there don't walk in with nothing but their penises showing.

HarryVanWinkle -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/11/2006 12:48:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress Your profile is awesome, well written articulate and honest...but the picture is sort of mug-shotish...may I sugest one sitting and looking up from reading, or out in a garden, or perhaps on a nature hike? As the Op says " Be creative boys! This is your big sales pitch. And you have a hell of a lot of competition out there. *BDSM is full of people looking for inventive and creative ways to enjoy life. If you write a boring profile, what does that say about your ability to be inventive in other areas? " I could not say it better myself[:D]* What about mine? Huh? Huh? What about mine?

allspicey -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/11/2006 12:50:48 AM)
I looked for yours and it says profile not found! spicey

HarryVanWinkle -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/11/2006 12:56:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: allspicey I looked for yours and it says profile not found! spicey Yeah, collarme still has me screwed up. If you copy and past my name to the "Username" field on the homepage, you'll see it.

becca333 -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/11/2006 1:11:41 AM)
allspicey, you're brilliant! What IS it with men who send a pic of their dangly bits, and expect any female who sees it to be overcome with lust? That 'last-chicken-in-the-shop' look does NOTHING for me. On the other hand, it is kinda nice to have so many sweet guys saying hi and sending nice messages - what can I say, I love attention!

Kedikat -> RE: Why Male Profiles Fail to Achieve Results (5/11/2006 1:33:19 AM)
What a load of crap. I see tons of the same things in females profiles. A few of the tips sound like encouragement to lie or obscure. I hope that profiles don't devolve to the level of " professional resumes ". I so seldom hear women ripping other women about their pussy shots, but there are many on such sites. And why should I spend a huge effort on an email that likely gets no reply? I drop a quick note, sometimes with something pertinant to their profile that struck me particularly( if they said much of anything in it ), and say to feel free to drop a quick reply. Occasionally a womans profile is inspiring enough for me to write more, and I do. Tit for Tat. I do state quite clearly in My profile about sexual submission. I don't consider that a minor detail that we can get around to after I might have hooked you. Some consider sex and BDSM to be quite separate, I don't, so I state it clearly. Maybe another reason that serious profiles, male or female get little response, is the number of cyber masturbators on line, with no intention to get real.

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